by C Zinnia
When they first suggested Viola have a session with Eli, she didn’t understand why. She had spent plenty of time around Eli and didn’t see how having an official session with him would be any different than their normal interactions. Also, Viola had been going to therapy since she first came to the pack. Even now, she regularly saw her therapist every month to check-in. What would be so different about a session with Eli? she had wondered.
During Eli and her first official session, Viola immediately understood why they suggested Eli. Apparently, he kept his abilities at bay during everyday interactions. During their session, he took one look at her and it felt like he knew everything that had ever happened to her. It was unnerving. Eli had warned her to be cautious about overexerting her body because it would lead to breakdown of her healthy tissues in spite of her healing capabilities. “There is a difference between training to be a healthy athlete and training to keep your demons and repressed emotions at bay. Make sure you always work out for the right reasons,” Eli had advised. “You need to find ways to root out what you’re hiding. Ignoring and blocking your demons only buries them like seeds. They’ll grow and fester and negatively affect your life if you’re not careful.”
While Viola didn’t want Eli’s advice, she tried to implement it. She liked to think she wasn’t as neurotic as she used to be.
It’s all about trying to improve every day, she thought.
Eli also had advised her to go to May, a local human who did a different style of addressing emotions. Viola had gone a couple of times and saw some benefit, but she couldn’t bring herself to go back to May. She felt uncomfortable with May for many reasons. For one, Viola didn’t understand the whole gender thing like neutral pronouns. For another, their session together revealed a lot of emotional layers and negative belief patterns that Viola didn’t like to believe were inside her. She did try to take in the advice May had given her too, but she otherwise kept her distance.
Maybe someday, I’ll go see May again, she thought.
When Viola neared the village, she smelled a familiar person. Oh my God , she thought. I don’t want to deal with her now.
“Good workout, Viola?” Jesse, Beta Samuel’s daughter, asked as she moved from behind a tree. Jesse was a beautiful woman with big grey eyes and long curly brunette hair. She was petite and had curves in all the right places. Many of the single men in their pack vied for her attention. Jesse lavished in refusing to have anything to do with any of them.
“Why are you here?” Viola asked, ignoring her question.
Jesse shrugged. “I was thinking about you and thought I’d come see you. It’s been a while since we spoke,” she said sweetly as she looked up at her from under her long eyelashes.
Not long enough, Viola thought. She didn’t respond. She hoped the cold shoulder would send Jesse away.
Instead, Jesse continued to follow her. “Are you going to train again today?”
Viola didn’t respond.
They had reached the main house. “Viola,” Jesse said softly. “Please”
It had been over three years since their official break up. Each would go back to the other and try to work things out. There was too much obsession, jealousy, and possessiveness on both sides. Pandemonium would ensue, and they were worse off than before. One year ago, Viola finally realized they were a violent storm that only led to pain. She let go. Jesse hadn’t. By this point, Viola couldn’t even understand how they ever got together to begin with.
Viola paused at the door. “No, Jesse. We’re not doing this again. You need to let me go and move on. I have. I don’t hate you, but I don’t love you either. Recognize that and accept it. You’re only hurting yourself. Find someone who will make you happy. I can’t,” she said.
“But I want to be with you,” Jesse said.
“You only want the idea of me and you’re addicted to the chaos because you’re afraid of getting into a healthy relationship,” Viola said. “That’s all. I wish you all of the love and happiness in the world, but it’s not going to happen with us together.”
“But it could,” Jesse said.
“No!” Viola said. “No, it can’t and it didn’t. I was unhappy with you. I didn’t like who I was with you and I know you felt the same way.”
Jesse’s face fell. “It wasn’t always bad, was it?” Jesse said.
For a brief moment, Viola savored the pained expression on Jesse’s face. Jesse had made Viola suffer and it was nice to see Jesse was suffering too. The moment passed, and Viola felt guilty over it. At the same time, Viola knew she couldn’t be sympathetic. Jesse would purposefully misconstrue any kindness as residual love. Viola wasn’t having that.
“It was that bad,” Viola said honestly. She went inside and closed the door on Jesse. Viola took off her shoes and placed them on a shelf of the bookcase at the front entrance.
“Hello, Viola,” Rick said. “Looks like I got here just in time. Are you ready for your massage, Champ?”
“Yes, sir!” Viola said.
Viola walked into the spare office that Rick used as a massage room when he worked on Viola. They bartered services. Viola trained Rick and he massaged her twice a week. If it were up to Viola, she would get massaged every day, but there wasn’t enough time. Rick needed to put enough time towards clients who actually paid him. She knew she had to take good care of her body because she overused it a lot. She did everything she could to keep her body functioning at optimum performance. She received massages, acupuncture, and chiropractic care regularly. She could feel a difference when she missed her appointments.
As Rick did deep tissue work, Viola was distracted by her earlier encounter.
For the past two years, Jesse had been making Viola’s life a living Hell. She broke Viola’s things. She cursed at her. Jesse screamed and struck at Viola.
Viola quietly took it because Jesse was Beta Samuel’s daughter. Viola wasn’t originally from this pack and she was afraid they would kick her out.
Their last “chat” that pushed Viola over the edge was when Jesse took Viola’s mother’s necklace. It was the only thing Viola had of her family’s. Jesse feigned innocence until Viola threatened to go to Alpha Bruce and Alpha Silvia and tell them what Jesse did. Normally, Viola wasn’t the type to say anything because she felt like she was tattling. She also knew if she tried to get the necklace from Jesse, she could possibly end up killing Jesse. It was better to let the alphas take care of it than possibly kill Jesse accidentally. Jesse had sneered at Viola, challenging her to go ahead and take it up with the alphas. Jesse had thought being the Beta’s daughter would save her from reprimand from the alphas.
Much to Viola’s and Jesse’s surprise, Alpha Bruce and Alpha Silvia took Viola’s side. Bruce made Jesse return the necklace and Silvia threatened Jesse with banishment if she didn’t stop her antics.
Apparently, they were aware of Jesse breaking into Viola’s room and vandalizing it. When Viola looked back on it, those were the days Silvia would constantly ask Viola if everything was okay and if there was anything she could do for Viola. Viola would always brush the questions off and say everything was fine.
They had never asked Viola directly about the situation because wanted Viola to come to them about it before they stepped in.
“I may be Alpha, but it’s not my place to try to control your life. When you have an issue, if you want me involved, you need to come to me and let me know you want help. Otherwise, I try to leave y’all alone and let y’all deal with things the way you feel is best,” Bruce had said.
“ You are our family too, Viola,” Silvia had said. “Don’t ever let anyone persuade you otherwise.”
Viola wanted to believe she was their family and they hers, but she silently had doubts. She remembered how quickly her own pack and family had treated her when they discovered she was a lesbian. It made Viola realize that people were capable of anything. Viola loved this pack, but she also kept her distance. In the back of her mind, she always knew there was a p
ossibility they would betray her. Jesse supposedly loved Viola and look how Jesse treated her. It was a constant struggle for Viola not to have a poor view of love.
Viola pushed all thoughts of Jesse out of her mind.
Viola prayed that someday she would find her mate. Viola had met many different packs over the years and had yet to find her mate in any of them. Supposedly, the moment a werewolf met her mate, she knew. She had a list of qualities she wanted in her mate. It was tucked away in her desk. She had written it down after she broke up with Jesse and refused to pursue anyone who didn’t match the qualities on her list. Viola believed her mate was out there, but she didn’t know when she’d meet her.
Viola knew her mate would heal her of her past pains. Her mate would be everything Viola needed and more. She knew she would truly heal from her past transgressions once she had her mate in her life. Viola thought; Hopefully, someday.
Chapter 6
Viola was fourteen and in love. Her love, Enricua, had long dark hair that curled in sweet tendrils. Her love had soft ruby lips and sun-kissed skin. Her love had deep brown almond-shaped eyes. Her love had lush curves and a sultry voice.
“What are you thinking about, Chiquita ?” her love asked. They lounged by the river, tired after an afternoon of running through the forests.
“Nothing,” Viola lied.
“Come on,” she pressed. She rolled over so she could look at her better. “I know you are thinking about something serious.” She lightly tapped Viola’s furrowed brow. “You are too young to be so serious. Come now, Chiquita , what is it?”
That I love you and can’t have you, Viola thought. Instead, she rolled away from her love. “Our ancestors,” she said. “I was wondering why they came here to Cuba where wolves aren’t part of the ecosystem. Weren’t they worried about getting caught by the locals?”
Her love scoffed at Viola’s question. “Because they were discovered and were escaping persecution in the Americas and this was the first place they came across. They made sure to attain enough land so that the locals would never know, unless they were seduced to join one of the packs,” she said. “But that is not what you are really thinking about. Do you not trust me, Chiquita ?”
“I do,” she said.
Her love put her hand on Viola’s shoulder and forced her to roll towards her. Viola looked into those large eyes and felt as though her heart was stolen. “Then tell me, Chiquita , please.”
Viola hesitated, but the weight of the secret she had hidden for eight years overwhelmed her. “I do not like men,” she said.
Her love laughed. “Of course, you don’t, Chiquita . You haven’t met the right one to sweep you off your feet, but you will in time,” she said as she rubbed Viola’s shoulder. Her love looked away; her eyes suddenly dark with sorrow. “I only pray you are luckier than I was.” Tears slid down her beautiful cheeks at the memory of the death of her mate.
Viola’s alpha, Aldofo, had visited her love’s pack and immediately lusted over her. She refused him because she already had a mate. Aldofo murdered her mate and stole her that night. Aldofo, ever aware of the roaming eyes of the single males of his pack, assigned Viola the task of protecting his mate.
Her love’s alpha came to demand her release, but Aldofo was able to pay him off with money and livestock. Her love was abandoned by her pack.
While Viola was only fourteen, she already had a reputation for being merciless when necessary. A male tried to hit on her love in Viola’s presence and Viola coldly broke his arm in three places. Aldofo immediately gave Viola the job as her love’s bodyguard full time. It had made Viola’s family proud due to the sudden status they earned in the pack. They went from being viewed as below Omegas to being almost Beta status.
“Please, don’t cry,” Viola begged. She slowly wiped her love’s tears away, enjoying the feel of her love’s cheek against her hand.
“I am sorry,” her love said, trying to laugh. “Here you are opening up to me and I’m acting like a silly niña who didn’t get what she wanted.” She patted Viola’s hand. “When you meet the right man, you will realize how much you like him.”
Viola’s internal voice said to remain silent, but she couldn’t any longer. She had to tell someone and if anyone was accepting, it was her love. “I like women,” she blurted out.
Her love stared at her as though Viola was speaking a different language. When Viola’s words finally sunk in, she grabbed her hand. “Listen to me, Chiquita , and listen well,” she said. “Never say that ever again. Never let anyone know. Find a good man and lie with him and have babies. If anyone were to find out the truth, you would be killed.” She placed her hand on Viola’s cheek. “You are like a little sister to me. The only family I feel like I have here. If anything happened to you . . . I don’t know what I would do.”
Viola’s heart broke. She had expected her love to be happy. She had expected her to throw her arms around Viola and make love to her by the river.
“Okay,” Viola agreed. Her voice was hoarse with emotion.
They were only there for a few more hours before Aldofo and his entourage appeared. Marguerite was with them, a triumphant look on her face. She must have overheard Viola divulge her secret to her love and went immediately to tell Aldofo. She had hated Viola since Viola was twelve and Viola had effortlessly beaten her. Marguerite was five years older and nearly a foot taller. It had brought shame to Marguerite’s family.
“Step away from her, amor ,” Aldofo demanded Enricua. His biceps flexed as he looked at Viola with disgust. “I should have known you were a freak. True women are not strong like a man.” He spat at her feet.
“What accusations are you making, Alpha?” Enricua asked calmly. “Viola and I have been sun bathing by the river. Why is Marguerite here?”
For a moment, the Alpha hesitated.
Marguerite immediately said; “I heard Viola say she lusts for women! It is unnatural! She should be put to death!”
The guilty look on Viola’s face sealed her fate.
Aldofo was furious. “I trusted you and you turn out to be something so vile!” he yelled.
“Please, Aldofo, spare her,” Enricua begged. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She is just naïve and has yet felt the heat of a man’s touch. You know Marguerite. She’ll say anything to get Viola in trouble. Please.”
“I said get away from her,” Aldofo shouted. “You will obey me!” He grabbed Enricua’s arm, practically wrenching it out of socket as he pulled her. She cried out in pain. She tried to move away from him. He slapped her for her defiance.
Anger consumed Viola and she blacked out.
…
Viola awoke in pain. She was covered with cuts and bruises. She could only open one eye and her lips were cracked with dried blood. She slowly sat up, aware of the broken ribs and wrist. She staggered to her feet. She took a sharp breath and barely kept herself from collapsing.
She could feel her body working diligently to heal her multiple internal injuries.
It was night and she was still by the river. They must have left her for dead.
“You’re alive,” her love said with relief. She appeared from the forest and rushed to Viola. She had herbs and wraps she used to quickly bind Viola’s wounds. Viola noticed her love had the remnants of a nearly healed black eye. “There is not much time. I slipped a potion in that cabrón’s drink that knocked him out for the night. Come with me.” They hurried through the forest, though it took Viola longer due to an injured leg. Viola had to pause for a moment to catch her breath. “We need to move!”
Viola fought against the urge to pass out from pain. She ignored the dizziness and staggered on her feet to move. As they walked, the swelling in her eye slowly went down and her vision improved. When they reached the border of their village, her love forced her to remain in the woods while she whistled like a bird.
A handsome man appeared. He took one look at Viola and grunted. “You always could take a beating,” he said
. He turned away from them. “Follow me.”
They followed him to an old rundown car. The engine was running. Viola noticed that her suitcase was in the back. “Go, go,” her love said, helping her into the passenger’s side of the car. “There is not much time.” She took Viola’s face in her hands. Her black eye was completely healed. “I love you, my chiquita , my sister, and I accept who you are. I hope you will find a place that will love and accept you.”
“Come with me,” Viola begged, her cracked lip had healed.
“I cannot,” she said. “You are still young with no one to tie you to this place. Take advantage and change your life for the better. My place is here. There are people here who I need to protect. There are still those I can be a catalyst for. Niñas who I need to empower so they can break out of this machismo cycle.”
The man was already on the driver’s side, ready to go.
“I- but-” Viola didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t process what was happening.
“Go,” she said. Her love closed the car door. The car sped off.
As Viola looked back, she knew in her heart that she would never see her love again.
Viola hissed, feeling her ribs begin to heal. It felt weird to have them shift on their own accord as fractured ribs rejoined and rewove together.
“Did I at least do some damage?” she asked the man.
He gave a sharp laugh. “You killed three of his men, Marguerite, and broke the Aldofo’s nose and arm. That’s not counting all the other injuries you inflicted,” he answered. “The whole pack knows about it. And, of course, Aldofo claims you were only able to do such damage because you sold your soul to a demon. The only reason they didn’t go down to check on you was because I informed them that you were dead. Aldofo insisted your body be left to rot.”