Kalli thanked Bob and Josh and followed them to the kitchen. Trace had gone. Bidding them good night, she set about cleaning up the mess. When her kitchen was set right, she wandered out to the front porch and sat down. Most of the trailers were gone now. The roundup had ended, the calves were branded, and the herd was turned loose to graze until fall.
Kalli watched as the stars came out, piercing the dark blanket that hid the mountains from view, that blotted out everything in its vast expanse.
Slowly she began to think it was time to let go. She couldn't have everything she wanted. And wanting alone didn't make it possible. She'd given it her best shot, but some things were just not meant to be.
In the morning she'd deal with it. But for right now she wanted to sit on her porch and think and remember. Tears blurred her vision as she blinked frantically to clear her eyes. She loved him so much, ached with the knowledge he didn't want her. She wanted to stay with him, build a future together. But he only wanted her land. Slowly she rose and went to bed.
* * *
Kalli checked on Jerry several times during the night, wakening him to make sure he didn’t have a concussion. He promptly fell back asleep each time. Upon waking in the morning, he insisted on getting up and going home.
"Though I appreciate all you did for me, ma'am," he said as he finished the last of the eggs she prepared him.
"It was the least I could do, you did so much for me with the roundup. I'm only sorry you were injured helping out. As soon as I'm dressed, I'll give you a ride home."
"The boss said he'd send someone," Jerry protested.
"No problem, I have to go into town for some things anyway. I'll be ready in a few minutes."
The next three days Kalli spent hours on horseback, seeing every inch of the ranch. Each night she'd soak in the tub, after spending hours at the computer, trying to keep her muscles in some sort of working order.
She heard nothing from Trace.
The spring roundup was over, the new tally of cattle official. She baked about a million cookies and took them as a thank-you to each of the ranches that had helped. She met Mary Margaret Hyden and agreed to go to dinner one night. She met Bob Marshall's wife and four children and agreed to meet them at church on Sunday.
She arranged to sell her hay when she harvested it.
Still she heard nothing from Trace.
Kalli called her parents and discussed things with them for a long time. Feeling slightly homesick, she was glad for the opportunity to talk to them, get their input on what she was doing. Two of her brothers called and she regaled them with all the benefits of ranch life, only admitting at the end that she missed them terribly and wanted to see them again, soon.
Evenings Kalli sat on her porch. Watching the sun set behind the Tetons, she gathered her feelings close and rejoiced in her ranch. She loved Wyoming. She felt its peace and wonder pervade, wash through her like a blessing. She thought long and hard about her future, about ranching and about Trace. Mostly she thought about Trace.
Finally her mind was made up. On Wednesday morning she drove to town to see Richard Strominger.
It was afternoon by the time Kalli returned to the Triple T. She'd thought it through for days and made her decision. Now the plan was in motion. Before long, she was sure, she'd hear from Trace Longford. She only wondered what she'd hear.
Two days later Kalli was in the kitchen when the knock at the door caught her unawares. She'd been so caught up in her thoughts, she hadn't heard anyone arrive.
Becky stood in the doorway when Kalli opened it, her face pale.
"Can I talk with you, Kalli?" she asked, looking bewildered.
"Oh, honey, anytime. Come on in."
Suddenly Becky burst into tears. Kalli reached out and drew the child to her, enfolding her in her arms. Becky was as tall as Kalli, but she didn't let that bother her. She rocked her as they stood in the doorway, smoothing her hair, gently crooning to her, wondering all the while what had happened to make the child so upset.
"It's my fault," Becky sniffed after a moment, obviously trying to get herself under control.
"What is, honey? What's got you so upset?"
Becky just sobbed.
As a nurse, Kalli had experience soothing distraught relatives. She knew what to say, how to say it, and gradually Becky's weeping stopped. With her arm around Becky's shoulders, Kalli led her to the table and pressed her down into a chair.
"I'll get you a washcloth and you'll feel better."
Kalli bathed her face, then went to the sink and ran the cloth under cold water. She wrung it out and handed it to Becky.
"The cool water will keep your eyes from swelling."
Becky's eyes filled again.
"Now tell me what's the matter." Kalli brushed back her hair, patted her shoulder, trying to offer comfort to the girl.
"I wanted you to go away." Becky said tearfully.
Kalli sat down, watching the child.
"I know that. You and your dad wanted me to leave."
"I wanted you to go away so Dad would stay home and spend the summer with me like we did other years. And he wanted this ranch. I thought if you left, he'd get it."
"But this is my home," Kalli said gently.
"Dad said you'd never stay. At the first setback, you'd be gone. Since you wouldn't stay, I thought you should go now, not stay through the summer. I only wanted you to leave."
"And so you're upset because I'm still here?" Kalli asked gently.
"No. It's not working. And Daddy's grouchy all the time. He doesn’t want to be with me. He doesn’t want to do things like we used to."
Since when, Kalli wondered, her heart skipping a beat. Since their last night together? Was he missing her as much as she missed him?
"I tried to get you to leave, and you just don't go," Becky said, a hint of bewilderment in her gaze. "I tried with the horse, I thought you'd leave then. But you didn't. Then I fixed your computer, and you still didn't leave."
"Hold on a second. What are you saying? Did you do something to Stony so he'd buck?"
Becky nodded, tears coursing down her cheeks.
"And you erased all my computer work?"
She nodded again. "Daddy said if things went wrong, you'd leave."
"Your dad is dead wrong. I'm staying. He just has a problem understanding that. But I thought you and I were starting to be friends. I thought we'd go shopping together and do some more baking—"
Becky started crying again. "I liked you, Kalli. But I wanted to make my dad happy. And I thought getting this ranch would make him happy." She lay her head on her hands and cried.
Kalli was more confused than ever. She ached for the girl's unhappiness, rejoiced that Trace had not been the one to sabotage her computer efforts, but didn't know how to handle Becky's revelations. The child had only been trying to help her father. Being without a mother, their relationship was closer than others, and Becky fought for her father just as he would have fought for her.
Kalli grew a little indignant that Trace's constant harping on her unsuitability had taken root in such a convoluted manner. But it was time for all such shenanigans to stop.
"You'll have to tell your father, Becky. And you have to stop doing things like that."
Becky looked forlorn. "He'll be mad at me."
"Damn straight, he'll be mad. I'm a bit miffed myself," Kalli said, rising. "What you did was wrong, don't you know that?"
Becky nodded. "But I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt. I'm sorry about your ankle. I've fallen lots of times and never got hurt."
"How'd you do it? I thought Stony was just skittish."
"A thistle beneath the saddle blanket." Becky shrugged. "I didn't think you would suspect. You being a city lady and all. And then I took off the blanket and threw the thistle away."
"Well, for future reference, older women aren't as agile as young girls. And that horse is a lot taller than yours. I could have been seriously injured."
"I know.
I was so scared when you fell and didn't get up right away."
Kalli remembered Becky had asked if she was dead. Shaking her head, Kalli took Becky's arm and helped her up, then gave her a handful of tissue. This was Trace's problem, not hers. Marching Becky to the bathroom, Kalli instructed her to wash her face and comb her hair.
"When you're done, come out on the front porch. We'll have some lemonade and talk a bit more. Then you'll have to go home and tell your dad."
Kalli fixed lemonade and got some cookies. She took them out to the porch and sat down, her thoughts churning. She’d never suspected Becky. For a guilty moment she remembered suspecting Trace, even knowing he wasn’t the kind of man who wouldn't do such a thing.
Becky came out and sat gingerly on the edge of a chair, looking lost and uncertain.
Kalli handed her a glass of icy lemonade and offered her the plate of cookies. "How'd you sabotage the computer?"
"When you went to get brownies that afternoon, I just did a global erase."
Kalli frowned. "How did you know to do that? I know nothing about computers beyond inputting on predesigned screens."
"Dad taught me a lot. I've had some in school. I know a lot about them. And the program you use is so easy."
"Great. I’ve spend hours every night rekeying all the information you erased. If I'd known about you, you could have done it."
"Daddy will be so mad at me."
"Yeah, probably. But he loves you and will understand you were only trying to help him," Kalli said.
Becky sniffed but said nothing.
Kalli wished she could talk to her mother, ask her opinion on how to handle Becky. And maybe even how to handle Becky's obstinate father. She loved him, but he pushed her away at every turn. He'd ignored her for over a week. Insisted he knew she wouldn't stay. What would it take, ten years in residence before he'd allow that maybe she'd stay a little while?
What was she going to do about Becky? Rather, what would Trace do? He was the child's father. For a moment Kalli was glad she had no children. She wanted them, and would love than to death when she had than, but they could be a trial. Briefly she smiled, remembering the headaches she and her brothers had given their parents. Such was family life. There was a lot of joy shared, as well.
"He'll probably yell at me," Becky said in a sad voice.
"Yes, but yelling can only hurt your eardrums," Kalli said easily. “And I'll protect you if he gets too bad."
Becky looked at her in amazement. "You're not even as big as I am."
"Ah, but I'm a lot tougher, sweetheart. Comes from standing up to five brothers. All of which are about the size of your father."
***
Trace stared at the letter from Richard Strominger, unable to believe what he was reading. He felt sick. He couldn't believe what it said. Kalli was offering to lease him her ranch. She was leaving. After all her protestations of staying for the long haul, she was leaving.
He should be feeling good. He'd wanted the ranch, could expand his herd, start that new breeding program. He'd known all along that she'd leave. He'd drawn back from her warmth and happiness to save himself the pain of her departure. But he felt as if he'd been gutted. He felt betrayed and abandoned.
Damn, he thought, leaning back and closing his eyes to dispel her image dancing before him. It didn't work. He could see her as clearly as he had that first day, climbing so sassily from her new truck. See her as clearly as he had in her bed that morning when she'd scaled the heights in his arms. See her as clearly as he had riding when she was so sore she could scarcely sit on the saddle.
His gut tightened and he opened his eyes. Clenching his jaw tightly, he tried to ignore the pain that cut like a knife, tried to remind himself he'd known all along she'd leave. But being right didn't ease the ache that plagued him. Somehow he'd hoped he’d be wrong.
I'm in for the long haul, she'd said. Yet he'd known she wouldn't stay. Alyssa hadn't. Kalli was from Boston, light-years away from a lonely, isolated ranch in Wyoming. He'd known it, but it didn't make the reality any easier.
Hell, he didn't want her damn ranch any more. Not if it meant losing her. He wanted her. He wanted her to stay with him, live with him, be there for him. To share her life with his until they were both old. Until one of them died. He wanted her to give him more children. He'd always liked children, loved Becky. He'd love to have children with Kalli. They'd probably be as feisty and troublesome as their small mother. Was it true all her brothers were large? He would want their sons to be tall, but all the daughters could be pocket size, like Kalli.
He wanted her in his bed every night. He wanted to make love to her until neither one of than could breathe. Sleep with her, feel her warm, soft, silky body snuggled against his every night, especially in the long, dark nights of winter. He wanted to wake her up each morning with kisses and love and see her sparkling eyes laughing at him.
He didn't care a snap of the fingers about the Triple T, he wanted its owner.
Only now it was too late. She had stopped fighting him, relinquished her ranch to him. To make him happy, the damn letter said. Hell, if she left, nothing would ever make him happy again.
11
Kalli heard the throaty growl of Trace's big pickup before she saw it. She looked down the gravel drive and watched as he drew nearer. For the first time in days she felt alive, gloriously alive. He was coming and they would certainly have a few words to say. She smiled in anticipation. Her visit to Richard had been a gamble. But just maybe it was one she'd win.
She couldn't see him clearly behind the tinted glass, but she knew he was angry as hell from the way the truck roared toward her house. It stopped with a swirl of dust and gravel. She smiled. It was time this know-it-all cowboy found out something new.
“Becky, do me a favor and take some of these cookies down to Charlie at the bunkhouse," Kalli murmured, her eyes never leaving the truck. This was do-or-die time. Oddly, she felt totally calm.
Becky hurried away without an argument, glad to delay confessing to her father what she'd done.
Kalli tipped back in her chair and watched, her heart pounding. Trace had obviously received Richard's letter. Now she waited to see his reaction. She wouldn't give in to the uncertainty that plagued her. She would see what he had to say.
Trace slammed the truck to a stop and cut the engine. Anger and fear raged. He wasn't sure which was stronger. He only knew since meeting Kalli Bonotelli he'd had more emotions flare than any time in his life. Now that he was here he hesitated, fear roiling in his gut. He was going to confront her about the letter. Challenge her about all the fine talk she'd given over the weeks and see what she said.
He was most of all afraid she'd tell him goodbye.
He snatched up the letter from the seat and thrust open the truck door, slamming it closed behind him like a shot. He crossed the short distance smoothly, deadly, like a lone wolf on the prowl. Kalli shivered in delight, holding his gaze with her own, watching as he slowly walked toward the porch, his eyes caught with hers, his gaze hard and impassive.
Damn, but she looked cool, tipped back in the chair, watching him with a speculative look on that pretty face. He'd like to shake her up, shake her, period, for putting him through everything. Damn her, why had she come to Wyoming at all if she wasn't going to stay?
There were two shallow steps up to the wide wooden porch. Trace rested his foot on the first step. Shimmering waves of anger filled the air. Kalli slowly brought her chair down and stood, wiping her palms against her shorts.
"Hi, Trace," she said, watching him warily.
He was surprised to see a glimmer of apprehension in her expression.
"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" he asked menacingly, waving the crumpled letter in front of her nose.
She glanced at it then at him. "I assume that must be the letter from Richard. Wasn't he clear?"
He stood tall, threatening and so heart-stoppingly male she felt the feminine parts of her soften in desi
re. She licked her lips and studied him with false calmness. At least there was a reaction. Not a quiet acceptance. Somehow the gamble had to pay off.
"You're leasing me the ranch."
She shrugged. "You said you wanted it. You've been saying it since I arrived."
"I wanted to buy it, dammit, not lease it. I wanted you to sell it and get the hell back to Boston so I wouldn't have to see you again! Leasing it would tangle us up together forever."
"I told you I wasn't selling," she said primly, still trying to gauge his reaction. Was it only anger?
"Hell, you also told me you weren't leaving, but what are you doing but heading back to the east coast as fast as you can? And being ornery about relinquishing the ranch."
"I'm-"
"Can't take it, just as I said, can you?" he snarled, stepping up on the first step. "What about all your protestations about staying in Wyoming for the long haul? What was all that malarkey about your being one determined woman?"
She cocked her head to one side, narrowing her eyes. "What about it?" she asked. "Maybe there comes a time when you have to cut your losses. Realize things won't ever be the way you want, no matter how much you want them. Admit it and move on."
He closed his eyes, rubbed the fingers of one hand against his closed lids, then snapped them open.
"Don't go, Kalli," he said softly, urgently.
"Why not?" She held her breath.
"Because I want you to stay."
Her heart sped up. Her skin tightened and flushed. Hope blossomed. "Why?"
He hesitated, his eyes gazing deeply into hers. He swallowed hard. "Because I want you, dammit!"
"That's all?" Disappointment threatened.
"Isn't that enough?" He put his boot on the next step.
She shook her head. "That sounds like only sex."
"It’s not only sex. I want you in bed, I can't deny that. But I want you out of it, too."
Her heart thumped harder and harder. Come on, she urged, say it, oh, please, just say it. She took a step closer and smiled at him.
"So I should stay just because you want me?"
Cowboy's Bride Page 15