by Lori Foster
He waited to see Emily’s reactions to the apartment, but she didn’t so much as blink. After a brief smile, she set the basket on the wobbly table, then opened it with a flourish. “Blueberry muffins, sausage links and fresh fruit.” She flashed him a quick, sweet smile. “And coffee.”
He was touched, he couldn’t help it. “I can’t believe you made me breakfast.”
“It’s not fancy, but you didn’t strike me as a man who would want escargots so early in the morning.”
He grimaced, then ended with a smile. “And you didn’t strike me as the type who would cook for a man.”
“I like to cook. My mother thinks it’s some faulty gene inherited from my ancestors. But since I’m not married, I don’t get to indulge very often.”
“What about dates? You could do some real nice entertaining in your house.”
She busied herself with setting out the food. “I don’t go out much.”
He wasn’t immune to her vulnerability. He reached out and touched her hand. “No woman has ever cooked for me before.”
She stared at him, shocked. “You’re kidding.”
Feeling a little stupid now for mentioning it, Judd shook his head. “Nope.”
“What about your mother?”
“Left when I was real little. My father raised me.”
“Oh.” Then she tilted her head. “The two of you are close?”
He laughed. “Hardly. Dad stayed drunk most of the time, and I tried to stay out of his hair, ’cause Dad could get real mean when he drank.”
“That’s awful!” She looked so outraged on his behalf, he grinned.
“It wasn’t as bad as all that, Em.”
“Of course it was. I think it sounds horrid. Did you have any brothers or sisters?”
“Nope.”
“So you were all alone?”
That was the softest, saddest voice he’d ever heard, and for some fool reason, he liked hearing it from her. “Naw. I had Max.”
“Max?”
“Yeah. See, I wasn’t all that respectable when I was younger, and Max Henley busted me trying to steal the tip he’d left for a waitress. With Max being a cop and all, I thought I’d end up in jail. But instead, he bought me lunch, chewed me out real good, then made me listen to about two hours’ worth of lectures on right and wrong and being a good man. I was only fourteen, so I can’t say I paid that much attention. When I finally got out of that restaurant, I didn’t think I’d ever go back. But I did. See, I knew Max ate his lunch there every day, so the next day, when he saw me hanging around, he invited me to join him. It became a routine, and that summer, he gave me a job keeping up his yard. After a while, Max kind of became like family to me.”
Emily was grinning now, too. “He was a father figure?”
“Father, mother, and sometimes as grumpy as an old schoolmarm. But he took good care of me. I guess you could say he was a complete ‘family figure.’” And Donner had robbed Judd of that family.
“He sounds like a wonderful man.”
“Yeah.” Judd looked away, wishing he’d never brought up the subject. “Max was the best. He’s dead now.”
“I’m sorry.”
Judd bit his upper lip, barely controlling the urge to hug her close. She had spoken so softly, with so much sincerity, her words felt like a caress. Somehow, she managed to lessen the pain he always felt whenever he thought of Max. God, he still missed him, though it had been nearly six months since Donner had killed him.
Judd nodded, then waited through an awkward silence while Emily looked around for something to do.
She went back to unloading her basket. As she opened the dishes, Judd inhaled the aromas. “Mmm. Smells good. Why don’t you get things ready while I put on some pants. Okay?”
“I’ll have the table set in a snap.” Then she grinned again. “I hope you’re hungry. I made plenty.”
Judd shook his head. She was wooing him with breakfast, a ploy as old as mankind, and he was succumbing without a struggle. If he was ever going to keep her safe, he’d have to keep his head and maintain the control. The only way to do that was to make certain some distance existed between them. He couldn’t be moved by every small gesture she made.
When he emerged from the bedroom two minutes later, Emily had everything on plates. He noticed there were two settings, so obviously she planned to eat with him. He also saw that, other than coffee mugs, she’d found only paper plates and plastic cutlery in his kitchen. But she didn’t seem put off by that fact. A tall thermos of coffee sat in the middle of the table. It smelled strong, just the way he liked it.
“This is terrific, Emily. I appreciate it.” Normally, he didn’t eat breakfast, but his stomach growled as he approached the table, and he couldn’t deny how hungry he was.
Emily poured his coffee, still smiling. “I thought we could talk while we eat. Maybe get to know each other a little better. I mean, we will be working together, and we’re practically strangers.”
He glanced up at her. “I wouldn’t say that.”
She blinked, then looked away. “How long have you been...ah...”
“Stripping?”
“Yes.” There was another bright blush on her cheeks. Judd wondered how she kept from catching fire.
“A while,” he said, keeping his answer vague.
“You...you like it?”
Good Lord. He laid down his fork and stared at her. She was the most unpredictable woman he’d ever met. Watching her eyes, he said, “Everyone should experience stripping at least once. It’s a fantasy, but most people don’t have the guts to try it.”
She sucked in her breath. The fork she had in front of her held a piece of sausage, ready to fall off. She looked guilty.
Ah. He smiled, reading her thoughts. “Admit it, Emily. You’ve thought of it, haven’t you? Imagine the men, or even one man, getting hotter with every piece of clothing you remove. Imagine his eyes staring at you, imagine him wanting you so bad he can’t stand it. But you make him wait, until you’re ready, until you’re completely...naked.”
She trembled, then put down her fork, folding her hands in her lap. Judd didn’t feel like smiling now; he felt like laying her across the table, tossing the skirt of her dress up around her shoulders and viewing all of her, naked. For him. He wanted to drive into her slim body and hear her scream his name. It angered him, the unaccountable way she could provoke his emotions, leaving him raw.
“You want to strip for me, Emily? I’ll be a willing audience, I can promise you that.”
“Why are you doing this?”
Her tone was breathless, faint. With arousal or humiliation? He slashed his hand in the air, disgusted with himself. “Eat your breakfast.”
“Judd...”
“I’m sorry, Emily. I’m not usually such a bastard. Just forget it, all right?”
She didn’t look as though she wanted to. Instead, she looked ready to launch into another round of questions and he couldn’t take it. He began eating, ignoring her, giving all his attention to his food.
He waited until she’d taken a bite of her muffin, then said, “I’ve decided if I’m going to help you, I’ll need more information.”
Emily swallowed quickly and looked at him, her eyes wide. “I told you everything.”
“No. I need the whole truth now, Emily. How you’re involved, and why. What really happened.” He took a sip of coffee, watching her over the rim of his mug. “Who’s the kid? But most of all, what does he have to do with you?”
Chapter Four
EMILY KNEW HER luck had just run out. And though it surprised her he’d figured her out so soon, she had expected it. Judd wasn’t an idiot, far from it. And she supposed it was his obvious intelligence and insight that made her feel so sure he would help her.
How much to tell him was her quandary.
Judd evidently grew impatient with her silence. “Stop trying to think up some elaborate lie. You’re no good at it, anyway. Hell, if I can tell you’re plannin
g to lie, you’ll never be able to carry it off. So just the truth, if you please. Now.”
Emily frowned at him. He didn’t have to sound so surly. And he didn’t have to look so...sexy. He’d shocked her but good, answering the door near-naked. Even now, with his pants on, he still looked sleep-rumpled and much too appealing. She cleared her throat and stared down at her plate.
“All I can tell you is that someone I hold dear was injured when that gun misfired. Since I know no one else is going to do anything about it, I have to. And the only thing I can think of is to make sure that the man who sold the gun is brought to justice.”
“Is the guy a lover?”
Emily blinked. “Who?”
“The man who is dear to you.”
His sneering tone had her leaning back in surprise. “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s just a boy. Only sixteen.”
Judd shrugged. “So who is he? A relative?”
Why wouldn’t he just let it rest? Why wouldn’t he—
“Dammit, Emily, who is he?”
He shocked her so badly with his sudden shout, she blurted out, “My brother!”
“Ah. I suppose that could motivate a person. Never having had a brother myself, I wouldn’t know for certain, of course. But I can see where you’d want to protect a little brother.” Judd rubbed his whiskered jaw, then added, “Why don’t your parents just go to the police?”
Emily stood up and walked away from the table. How had he gotten her to reveal so much, so easily? She knew she had no talent for subterfuge, but she hadn’t thought she’d crack so quickly. When she turned to face Judd again, she caught him staring at her ankles. Her silence drew his attention, and when his gaze lifted to her face, he didn’t apologize, but merely lifted a dark eyebrow.
Trying to ignore the heat in her face, Emily folded her hands over her waist and said, “My parents hate scandal more than anything. They’d rather move to another country than have their name sullied with damaging speculation.”
“Don’t they love their son?”
“Well, of course they do.” Appalled that she’d given him the wrong impression, Emily took her seat again, leaning forward to get his attention. “It’s just that they’ve got some pretty stringent notions about propriety. Their reputations, and the family name, mean a lot to them.”
“More than their son, evidently.” Then Judd shook his head. “No, Emily, don’t start defending them again. I really don’t give a damn what kind of parents you have. But it seems to me, if they’re willing to sweep the incident under the carpet, you should be, too. What can you hope to prove, anyway?”
This was the tricky part, trying to make him understand how important it was for John to see now, before it was too late, exactly what road he was choosing. She didn’t want to see the same disdain in Judd’s eyes when she mentioned her brother as he apparently felt for her parents. Why his opinion mattered to her, she didn’t know. But it did.
Keeping her voice low, she said, “John bought the gun, I think, because he wanted my parents’ attention. You’d have to understand how hard he tried to find his...niche. I remember last Christmas, John was crushed when my parents sent him a gift from Europe.” Her lips tilted in a vague smile. “It was a check, a substantial check, but still, it was only money. John sat in front of the stupid Christmas tree, seven feet high and professionally decorated, and he cried. I didn’t let him know I was there because I knew it would embarrass him.”
Judd looked down at his feet. “I never had a Christmas tree until Max took me in. It was only a spindly little thing, but I liked it. It beat the hell out of seeing my father passed out drunk in the front room where the Christmas tree should have been but wasn’t.”
“Oh, Judd.”
“Now, don’t start, Em. We’re talking about John, remember? I only mentioned that memory because I guess I always assumed people with money had a better holiday. I mean, more gifts, better food, a lot of cheer and all that.” He shook his head. “Shoots that theory all to hell, doesn’t it?”
“People usually think having money is wonderful, but that’s not always true. Sometimes...money spoils things. It can make people self-centered, maybe even neglectful. Because it’s so easy to do what you want, when you want, it’s easy to forget about the others who...might depend on you. It’s easy to forget that everyone can’t be bought, and money doesn’t solve every problem.”
Judd didn’t say a word, but his hand, so large and warm and rough, curled around her fingers and held on. Emily started, surprised at the gentleness of his touch, at how comforting it felt to make physical contact with him. She glanced up, and his eyes held hers. There was no more derision, and certainly no pity. Only understanding.
It was nearly her undoing.
“My...my brother, he’s a good kid, Judd, just a bit misguided. And though he’s trying to play it tough right now, he’s scared. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever look the same as he did before the accident. My parents keep assuring him they’ll find a good plastic surgeon to take care of everything, but he’s hurting. Not physically, but inside. He wanted my parents’ attention, but all he’s gained is their annoyance. They never once asked him why he bought the gun or how. They only complained about him doing something so stupid. And they made it clear, had he wanted a gun, they could have bought the finest hunting rifle available, and supplied him with lessons on how to handle it.”
“They missed the point entirely.”
Emily felt his deep voice wash over her, and she smiled. “Yes, they did.”
“Okay. So what will nailing the guy who sold him the gun prove to your brother?”
“That I love him. That I know what’s right and wrong, and that he knows it, too, if he’ll only open his eyes and realize that he is a good person, that he doesn’t need affirmation from anyone but himself.”
“Is that what you learned, honey? Do you understand your brother so well, because you’ve gone through the same thing?”
Emily forced a laugh and tried to pull her hand free, but Judd wouldn’t let her go. He wouldn’t let her look away, either. His gaze held her as securely as his fingers held her hand. “I’ve never felt the need to purchase a gun, Judd.”
“No, but you must have wanted approval from your family as much as your brother does. What did you do, Emily, to get them to notice you?”
She cleared her throat and tried to change the subject. “This is ridiculous. It doesn’t have anything to do with our deal.”
“To hell with the deal. What did you do, Em?”
Panic began to edge through her. Not for anything would she lay the humiliation she’d suffered out for him to see. Besides, she’d buried the memory deep. It was no longer a part of her. At least, she hoped it wasn’t.
“I’ve made my fair share of mistakes,” she told him. “But I’ve forgiven myself and gotten on with my life. That’s all any of us can do.” Once she said that, she came to her feet, knowing she had to do something, occupy herself somehow, or she’d become maudlin. A display of emotions wouldn’t serve her purpose.
But as she stood, so did Judd, and before she could move away, he had her tugged close. The morning whiskers on his jaw felt slightly abrasive, and arousing, as he brushed against her cheek. The warmth of his palms seeped through her dress to her back where he carefully stroked her in a comforting, soothing manner. She could smell his musky, male scent, and breathed deeply, filling herself with him, uncaring what had brought on this show of concern. It simply felt too good to have him hold her.
“You should always remember, Em, what a good person you are. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.”
His raspy tone sounded close to her ear, sending gooseflesh up her arms. And her emotions must have been closer to the surface than she’d wanted to admit, because she could feel the sting of tears behind her lids.
Not wanting Judd to know how he affected her, she hid her face in his shoulder and tried a laugh. It sounded a little wobbly, but it was the best she could produce. “Yo
u hardly know me, Judd. What makes you think I’m such a fine specimen of humanity?”
He rocked her from side to side, and she could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke. “Are you kidding me? You’re obviously damn loyal since you’re willing to risk your pretty little neck for your brother, just to keep him on the right track. You’ve opened your property to the neighborhood kids, not caring that they might trample your flowers or muddy up your yard. And you told me you volunteer at the soup kitchen. I’ll bet you’ve got a whole group of charity organizations you donate to, don’t you?”
Emily squeezed herself closer, loving the solid feel of his chest against her cheek, the strength of his arms around her. She couldn’t recall ever feeling so safe. “I’m the one who benefits from the organizations. I’ve met so many really good, caring people, who just need a little help to get their lives straightened out. We talk, we laugh. Sometimes...I don’t know what I’d do without them.”
Judd groaned, and then his hand was beneath her chin, tilting her face up. Emily smiled, thinking he had a few more questions for her, when his mouth closed over hers and she couldn’t think at all.
Heat was her first impression. The added warmth seemed to be everything, touching her everywhere. She felt it in her toes as he lifted her to meet him better, to fit her more fully against him. She felt it in her breasts, pressed tight against his chest. And in her stomach, as the heat curled and expanded.
His mouth was firm, his tongue wet as he licked over her lips, insisting she open. When she did, he tasted her deeply, his hands coming up to hold her face still as he slanted his mouth over hers again and again.
Emily had never known such a kiss. She’d thought she’d experienced lust while she was engaged, but it had been nothing like this. She made a small sound of surprise, wanting the contact to go on forever—and suddenly Judd pulled away.
Emily grabbed the back of the chair to keep herself grounded. Judd stared at her, looking appalled and fascinated and...hungry. Oh, Lord, Emily, now you’ve really done it.