by Lori Foster
His urgency must have gotten through to her, for she suddenly cleared her throat, and her expression slowly changed to a suspicious frown. “One of the officers called you detective. And you’re ordering them around as if you have the right. And even more ridiculous than that, they’re letting you.”
“Oh, hell.” Judd wondered if there was any way for him to get out of this one. How could he have been so careless? Howell would surely have his head. His mind whirled with possible lies, but he couldn’t see Emily believing any of them. She wasn’t stupid, after all, just a bit naive.
He watched her face as he tried to come up with a logical, believable explanation, and he saw the confusion in her eyes, then the growing anger. One of the uniforms came around the corner and said, “Detective, I have Lieutenant Howell on the phone. He said he needed to talk to you, sir, uh...now.” And Judd knew Emily had finally guessed the truth.
Before she could move, he cupped her cheeks, being especially gentle with her injury. “I can explain, honey. I swear. Just sit tight a second, okay? Right now, I have to pacify an enraged superior.”
“Oh, I’ll wait right here, Detective. You can count on it.”
Judd didn’t like the sound of that one little bit. But it was her look, one of mean anticipation, that had him frowning. This whole damn day had been screwy, starting with Emily cooking him breakfast. He should have known right then he wouldn’t end it with his safe little world intact.
No, Emily had turned him upside down.
The hell of it was, he liked it.
* * *
Emily listened as Judd went through a long series of explanations over the phone. Yes, he could handle everything... No, his cover wasn’t blown as long as Howell set things right with the two officers. Ha! His cover was most definitely blown. Emily wanted to interject at that point, but Judd watched her as he spoke, and so she kept herself still, her expression masked, she hoped.
Her cheek was still stinging, but not as much as her pride. Lord, Emily, you’ve been a fool. Hadn’t she known from the start that Judd didn’t belong in the east side of Springfield? He talked the talk, and dressed the code, but something about him had been completely out of sync. He could be every bit as hard and cynical as the other roughnecks, but his behavior was forced. It wasn’t something that came to him naturally.
She closed her eyes as she remembered offering him money to drop the case. If he reminded her of that, she just might...no. She would not lower herself to his level of deceit.
That decision did her little good when Judd hung up the phone and came back to kneel by her chair. He lifted the ice pack again and surveyed her bruised cheek with a worried frown. “I wonder if you should go to the hospital and have this checked.”
“No.”
Her curt response didn’t put him off. “Does it hurt?”
“No.”
His fingertips touched her, coasting over her abraded skin and causing goose bumps to rise on her arms. He ended by cupping her cheek and slowly rubbing his thumb over her lips. Then he sighed. “Just sit tight and I’ll make you that tea. After everyone’s cleared out, we’ll talk.”
Emily watched him bustle around the kitchen, thinking he looked curiously right there. It was almost as if the room had been built for his masculine presence.
The quarry-stone floor seemed every bit as sturdy and hard as Judd, the thick, polished pine cabinets just as comforting. There were no frilly curtains, no pastel colors to clash with his no-nonsense demeanor.
Emily made a disgusted face at herself. Comparing Judd to a kitchen? Maybe she had hit her head harder than she thought.
When he sat the tea in front of her, she accepted it with a mumbled thanks. Moments later, the officer who’d been outside came in and shook his head. “Not a sign of anything. It doesn’t even look as if the door was tampered with.”
Judd turned to Emily with a stern expression. “It was locked, wasn’t it?”
Since she was already mortified over the evening’s events, she didn’t bother to try to hide her blush. “I really have no idea. I can’t recall locking it, but sometimes I just do it by rote.”
“Emily...”
She knew that tone. “Don’t lecture me now, Detective. I’m really not in the mood.”
She was saved from his annoyance by the remaining officer coming downstairs. “I checked out the other rooms. They’re clean. I don’t believe he ever left the kitchen. Probably took off right after she splashed him, going out the way he came in.”
Judd worked his jaw. “I suppose you’re right. You guys can take off now. I’ll stay with Miss Cooper.”
Since Emily had a lot of questions she wanted answered, she didn’t refute him. It took the officers another five minutes to actually go, and then finally, she and Judd were alone. Sitting opposite him at the table, Emily prepared to launch into her diatribe on the importance of honesty and to vent her feelings of abuse, when Judd spoke in a low, nearly inaudible tone.
“Clayton Donner shot Max about six months ago. I was out on assignment, and by the time I got to the hospital, Max was dead. I’ve made it my personal business to get Donner, and I’ll damn well do whatever I have to until he’s locked up.”
Emily didn’t move. She heard the unspoken words, telling her he wouldn’t let her—or her feelings for him—get in his way. She’d thought she had a good personal reason to want Donner, but her motivation was nothing compared to Judd’s. Without thinking, she reached out and took his hand. She didn’t say a word, and after a few seconds, Judd continued.
“I told you Max had taken me in. He was everything to me, the only family I’d ever had. He was a regular street cop, and his run-in with Donner was pure coincidence. Max had only been doing a routine check on a disturbance, but he inadvertently got too close to the place where Donner was making a deal.” Suddenly Judd’s fist slammed down on the table and he squeezed his eyes shut.
“Judd?”
“Max got shot in the back.” Judd drew a deep breath and squeezed Emily’s hand. She squeezed back. He wouldn’t look at her, but she could see his jaw was rigid, his eyes red. Her heart felt as though it were crumbling.
“We all knew it was Donner, but we couldn’t get anything concrete on him. And to try him without enough evidence, and take the chance of letting him go free...I don’t think I could stand it. I have to see him put away. Regardless of anything, or anyone, I’ll get him.”
Wishing he’d told her all this because he wanted to, not because he’d been forced, wouldn’t get Emily anywhere. And she couldn’t, in good conscience, interfere. Not when she could see how much getting Donner meant to him. “I understand.”
“Do you?” For the first time, Judd looked up at her, and that look held so many different emotions, Emily couldn’t begin to name them all. But the determination, the obsession, was clear, and it scared her. “I left everything behind when I followed Donner here,” he said. “Springfield is just like my own home ground. Every city has an area with run-down housing and poverty, a place where kids are forgotten or ignored, where crime is commonplace and accepted. I fit in there, Em. I’m right at home. Sooner or later, I will get Donner. But not if you blow my cover. What happened tonight can’t happen again.”
Emily knew he wasn’t talking about the break-in. “What—exactly—did happen, Judd?”
“I lost my head, and that’s bad. I can’t be sidetracked from this assignment.”
“You know I want Donner, too.”
“Not like I do.”
She would have liked to probe that a little more, but she held her tongue. She was afraid he was trying to find a way to say goodbye, to explain why he couldn’t see her anymore. “What do you want me to do?”
Judd shot from his chair with an excess of energy. He shoved his hands into his back pockets and stalked the perimeter of the room as if seeking an escape. Finally, he stopped in front of the window, keeping his back to Emily. “I want you to understand that I can’t let you get in my way. I ca
n’t...can’t care about you. But when I think about what might have happened tonight...”
“You need me to stay out of your way?” Emily heard the trembling in her tone, but hoped Judd hadn’t.
He whirled to face her. “No. Just the opposite, in fact.”
She blinked twice and tried to still the frantic pounding of her pulse.
Again, Judd took his seat. “I work as a stripper in the bar because Donner does a lot of his business in the office upstairs. I’ve set myself up to get hired by him.”
“That’s what you were doing in the pool hall,” Emily said with sudden insight. “You were impressing him, by being like him.”
Judd nodded. “Everyone around there believes I’m out for a fast buck, a little fun, and not much else. That makes me Donner’s ideal man. Making contact with him today was important. He’ll be coming to me soon, I’m sure of it. He’s intrigued, because he doesn’t like people to refuse him, the way I refused him at the pool hall. I’d like to steer clear of you, to keep you uninvolved.” He cast her a frustrated glance. “But it’s too late for that.”
Her stomach curled. “It is?”
One brisk nod was her answer. “I need you, Em. My superior thinks it’s risky to make any changes now. He’s already furious that you know my cover, but that can’t be helped, short of calling everything off. And I don’t want that. He’ll pull the officers who were here tonight, because by rights, they screwed up, too. They shouldn’t have acknowledged me as a detective, but they’re rookies and...” He trailed off, then frowned at her. “If you suddenly stopped hanging around, after the scene we played out today at the pool hall, Donner might get suspicious. The whole deal could be blown. And it’s too late for that.”
Emily tried to look understanding, but she was still reacting to Judd’s casual words. He needs you, Emily. She knew she would do whatever she could for him. “Has...has something come up? Something definite?”
“I think so. I visited Frog again after I left here. Next Wednesday night, Donner will be making a pickup.”
“What kind of pickup?”
“He gets the guns dirt cheap since they’re usually stolen. Then he sells them on the street for a much higher price. The man he buys from has a shipment ready. That would be the best time to bust him. In fact, it’s probably the only way to make sure we nail him.”
Seeing the determination in his eyes, Emily knew Judd would find a way to get Clayton Donner, with or without her help. But she wanted to be near him any way she could. “Since I still have my own reasons for wanting him caught, I’ll be glad to help however I can.” She hesitated, then asked, “You’re certain Donner is the one who sold my brother the gun?”
“As certain as I can be. We traced him to Springfield by the weapons he sold. One whole shipment was faulty guns. I don’t know yet how Donner got hold of them, but from what you told me, it’s safe to say your brother got one of them.”
A resurgence of anger flooded through her. So Donner had known the guns were faulty before he sold them? He had deliberately risked her brother’s life, and that fact made her determination almost equal to Judd’s. “I look forward to doing whatever I can to help.”
Judd let out a long breath. Then he leaned across the table and took both her hands. “I don’t want to have to worry about you. I want your word that you won’t try anything on your own. I don’t even want you in that part of town without me. Promise me.”
“I work there at the soup kitchen...”
“Not until this is over, Em. I mean it. It’s just too risky. Promise me.”
“Judd—”
“I lost Max, dammit! Isn’t that enough?”
His sudden loss of control shook her. She stared at his eyes, hard now with determination and an emotion that closely resembled fear. Reluctantly, she nodded. The last thing she wanted to do was distract him. Already, it seemed to her, he was too emotionally involved, and that weakened his objectivity, putting him in danger. It was obvious that Max Henley had been, and still was, the most important person in the world to Judd. Emily decided she might very well be able to keep an eye on Judd as long as he let her stay close. And evidently, the only way to do that, was to agree to his rules.
“All right. I promise. But I want a promise from you, too, Judd.”
It took him a moment to regain his calm demeanor. Then he lifted an eyebrow in question.
“From now on, you have to be honest with me,” she said. “There are few things I really abhor, but lying is one of them. You’ve lied to me from the start.”
Judd turned his head. “I was on assignment, Em. And you just came tripping into my case, nearly messing everything up. I did what I thought was best.”
“And of course telling me the truth never entered your mind?” When he gave her a severe frown, she quickly added, “Okay, not at first. But since then? Surely you had to realize I wasn’t a threat?”
His stare was hard. “You’re a bigger threat than you know.”
Emily had no idea what that was supposed to mean. And while she did understand Judd’s position, she couldn’t help feeling like a fool. First she thought he was a cop, then she believed he was a stripper. Now she finds out he actually is a cop. A small, humorless laugh escaped her. “I suppose it really is funny. Did you laugh at the irony of it, Judd?”
“Not once.”
“Oh, come on. I must have looked like an idiot. And here you were, trying to keep the poor naive little fool out of trouble.”
“It wasn’t like that, Em.”
She stood, suddenly wanting to be alone. “I should have learned my lesson long ago.” She knew Judd had no idea what she was talking about, that she was remembering her sad lack of judgment so many years ago. She shook her head, not at all certain she’d ever tell him. Lord, she probably wouldn’t have the chance to tell him. Once this ordeal with Donner was over—and, according to Judd, it would be over soon—Judd would go on about his business, and she would have to forget about him.
“I wonder if my parents were right.”
Judd hadn’t moved. He sat in the chair watching her. “About what?”
“About me being such a bad judge of character. They always claim I have a very unrealistic perception of mankind, they say that I should accept the world, and my place in it, and stop trying to change things. I suppose I ought to give up and let them have their way.”
Judd stiffened, and his expression looked dangerous. “You don’t mean that.”
With a shake of her head and another small smile, Emily turned to leave. Just before she reached the hallway entrance, she stopped. “One more thing, Judd.”
She turned to face him and her gaze locked with his. “The man who came in here? He mumbled something, just before I ran, about only wanting the film.”
Judd shot to his feet. “What?”
Her smile turned a bit crooked. “I didn’t want to tell the police, because I thought it might be important. I was going to wait and tell you so we could figure out what the man meant. But now, since you are the police...” She shrugged.
Judd was busy cursing.
“What are you going to do?” she asked him.
“First, I’m going to get someone over here to check your door for fingerprints.”
“It won’t do any good. He wore gloves. I felt them when he grabbed me.”
“Another tidbit you were saving only for me?”
“Uh-huh. I honestly don’t know anything else, though.” She stifled a forced yawn. “I think I’ll get ready for bed now.”
Judd moved to stand directly in front of her. “I’m staying the night, Em.”
“That’s not necessary.” But, oh, it would be so nice. She sincerely hoped he would insist. For some reason, the thought of being all alone was very unsettling. And even more unsettling was the thought of letting Judd out of her sight.
“I think it is. I won’t bother you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I wasn’t worried.”
> He accepted that statement with a smile of his own. “Good. Why don’t you show me where you want me to sleep? Then I’ve got a few more calls to make.”
Since Emily wouldn’t show him where she really wanted him to sleep, which was with her, she led him to the room down the hall from her bedroom. Decorated in muted shades of blue, it had only a twin bed and was considered her guest room. There were two other bedrooms, one was John’s room, since he dropped in often whenever there were problems with her parents, and the other room served as a small upstairs sitting room.
Judd nodded his approval, then took Emily’s shoulders. “Try to sleep. But honey, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to let me know.”
He doesn’t mean what you’re thinking, Em. Didn’t he just tell you earlier tonight it was too soon? “Thank you, Judd. Good night.” Emily forced her feet to move down the hall, then she forced herself inside her room and closed the door. Her forehead made a soft thwack when she dropped it against the wood, and her cheek started throbbing again.
But none of it was as apparent as the drumming of her heart. It was all just beginning to sink in, from the slapstick beginning to the frightening end. Judd was an officer, who chose to take his clothes off in an undercover case, using a police uniform as a costume. It was too ironic. And Lord help her, so was her situation.
She was falling in love with a thoroughly outrageous man.
* * *
Judd lay in the narrow bed, stripped down to his underwear, with only the sheet covering him. His arms were propped behind his head and he listened to the strange sounds of the house as it settled. He’d left the door open in case Emily needed him.
God, what a mess.
Howell had raised holy hell with him, and for good reason. He’d behaved like a rookie with no experience at all. He knew better, hell, he was damn good at his job. But he just kept thinking of what could have happened. The thought of Emily being hurt was untenable. He had to find some way to wrap this operation up, and quickly. He didn’t want to be involved with her, didn’t want to care about her. But he knew it was too late.