by Logan Jacobs
“Who goes there?” a gruff voice roared from within.
“We are traveling believers of the Elder Gods,” I remarked. “We come to bless your village with our knowledge and prayers… may we enter? We are tired, cold, and hungry.”
There was nothing but silence at first, but then the gates slightly creaked open, and a bald man with mahogany-brown eyes and blond stubble emerged from the gap. He was a tall man, garbed in silver armor, and armed with a longsword sheathed at his side. He also wore a pair of tall, knee-high brown laced boots and stained, cream-colored trousers. His dark eyes flashed across each of our faces, and when he noticed our gold crosses and holy robes, he opened the gate even wider and flashed us a sincere smile.
“Not to mention you’re all soaked to the bone,” he said, but this time in a kinder tone. “Come in… and welcome to Ved Havet! We welcome all holy believers and do well to treat them as we would our own.”
“Thank you,” I answered with a deep nod. “We appreciate it.”
I ushered the women to step inside quickly, and as soon as we were within the keep of the holy kingdom, I sucked in a small breath of relief.
“Please, I insist you take shelter in our Wooden Pony Inn,” the guard said while he closed the gates back up. “You will find food, warmth, and shelter.”
“Thank you, sir,” I responded with a forced smile. “We’ll be sure to keep you in our prayers. You have been most welcoming.”
“Thank you kindly.” He flashed a broad grin. “Now, please, hurry… I fear the rain is only growing worse as we speak.”
“Of course,” I said. “Please have a pleasant night.”
The guard nodded one more time before we ventured deeper into the holy kingdom of Ved fucking Havet. We aimlessly wandered through the realm, and the rain was quickly growing heavier and viciously beating against our skin and drenching our cloaks. Within seconds, the thick droplets splashed down against the white-washed houses and quaint marketplaces, and soon, men, women, and children were rushing to take shelter wherever they could find it. As we ran through the stone and mud-covered streets, the rain began to pour down on us without mercy, and I knew we had to find a place to dry off before we continued on with our plan.
“Where the fuck is this inn?” Penelope hissed over the heavy rainfall.
“I don’t know, but we’d better find it soon-- ouch!” Akira snapped as a sales vendor collided right into her.
My heart skipped a beat as Akira fell slightly forward, and the cross on her neck dangled in rhythm with her. The quick-minded witch instinctively swung her hands out in front of her, in case she fell to the ground, but as she did so, the tip of the cross grazed her skin, and she hissed in pain as it scorched her ivory flesh.
“Fuck,” I whispered as thin wisps of smoke wafted into the air.
The black-eyed witch bit down on her lip, held tightly onto her hand, and then did her best to cover up the burn with her robes. She bowed her head low and kept her scrunched up face hidden behind her hood, but I knew how much pain she must have been in.
The young man who collided into her was a skinny but handsome fellow with dark hair and vibrant green eyes, and he looked absolutely mortified with himself.
“I’m terribly s-sorry, priestess,” the vendor stuttered as he tried to get a good look at Akira. “I did not see you there.”
“It’s perfectly alright,” Akira muttered and turned further away from him. “May the Lord and his elders protect you and guide you. Now, you can run along and continue with your business.”
That was the politest way Akira’s ever told someone to fuck off.
“T-Thank you, priestess,” the wide-eyed vendor said as he once again tried to get a closer look at Akira, “but… are you certain I didn’t hurt you?”
“I’m fine,” the black-eyed witch snapped when she finally lost her reserve and patience.
The young man’s mouth fell open, and he looked utterly taken aback by Akira’s harsh tone, so I knew I’d have to step in and say something. Otherwise, he might grow suspicious.
“She’s having a rough day,” I said as I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Please forgive her unusually foul temper.”
“O-Oh, no, of course,” the young man replied with innocent, wide eyes. “I was the one at fault.”
“It is of no matter.” I smiled. “However, I do have one question for you.”
“Yes, holy one?” the young man asked with the eagerness of a puppy ready to please its master.
“Do you happen to know where the Wooden Pony Inn is?” I asked.
“Yes.” He nodded quickly. “It’s just past that well, right over there.”
He pointed ahead of us, and when I turned around, I spotted a small stone well surrounded by crosses and roses.
“Thank you, my son.” I smiled. “You have been most helpful. May the Lord protect and guide you.”
“Many thanks,” the vendor said before he awkwardly bowed and then ran off in a different direction.
“Idiot,” Akira growled before she uncovered her hand.
The other women gasped at the scorched spot on her skin, where a few blisters were already beginning to form.
“Fuck,” Nyx groaned, “does it hurt, Akira?”
“What do you think?” Akira snapped. “Of course, it fucking hurts.”
“Just do your best to keep it covered,” Morgana whispered, even though no one was within earshot. “The last thing we need is for people to ask questions.”
“Oh really?” the black-eyed witch demanded with a raised eyebrow. “It’s a good thing you warned me, because I was planning to flaunt it around the fucking Wooden Pony Inn.”
“Why are we going inside the inn, anyway?” Circe asked in a soft voice, and for a moment, I was lost in her ice-blue eyes. “I thought the initial plan was to enter the castle?”
“We need to come up with a more detailed plan first,” I explained.
“But what about the disguise spell we’re under?” Nyx questioned. “Theodora said there was limited time.”
“I know, and trust me… we won’t be there for long,” I answered. “As I said, we just need enough time to dry off and think of a plan.”
“But how do you even know it will stop raining anytime soon?” Beatrix questioned.
It was true. This weather was making it inconvenient to wander through the kingdom, so an idea sprung to mind. I took a look around, and when I was sure no one else was in sight, I ran into a small, damp alley, and the women followed me into the secluded space before I pulled out my wand and aimed it at the sky.
“What are you doing--?” Beatrix began, but then Akira shot her a menacing glare.
“Shut up, and watch,” the black-eyed witch sneered.
The women carefully observed my hands as I aimed my wand at my open palm, and then, with a steady hand, I cast the first spell.
“Secare,” I hissed.
My skin split open, and thick, warm blood trickled down my hand as I prepared to cast the second, and far more complicated, incantation. My eyes gazed up at the charcoal clouds and the heavy rainfall, and as I became one with the earth and everything surrounding me, I took a sharp breath, closed my eyes, and raised my hands up into the air.
“Interficiam carne mea, mutata tempestate,” I uttered.
In mere moments, the rain began to dissolve into nothingness, and the thick, ebony rainclouds slowly morphed into soft, iridescent white clouds that cascaded over a pale but glowing sun. The steel-gray sky had turned to a shade of baby blue, and birds quickly began to chirp and fly through the spring air, as if there hadn’t been a raging rainfall only seconds ago.
“I forgot about that spell,” Beatrix muttered as a deep blush crept across her pretty, porcelain face. “Nicely done, Cole.”
“Which is totally embarrassing, Beatrix,” Penelope added. “You were on my team when we learned about that spell… remember?”
“Who cares?” Faye hissed. “We need to find the inn… and quick
ly. I can already see Vesta’s hair turning back to green.”
“What?” the elvish witch gasped before she snatched a strand of her long, dark hair.
My stomach dropped when I realized Faye was right. The tips of Vesta’s mud-brown hair were now slightly green. It wasn’t incredibly noticeable, but if their changes were already occurring, it meant we had little time left.
“Come on,” I said as I hid my wand inside my cloak, “we need to hurry.”
The women scurried after me as we swept through the kingdom, and as we passed by the stone well, more and more people began to emerge from their houses, shops, and other hiding spots.
“My goodness,” one woman gasped, “would you look at the beautiful sky?
“The Lord certainly does work in mysterious ways,” added an older man with silver hair and a peppered goatee.
“Sure, he does,” I mumbled under my breath as we quickly made our way toward the inn.
As we passed by rows of stone houses with heavy crosses and bundles of rose-gardens, I noticed multiple signs that warned others of the ways of the Wicca. Some were even in the form of poems, and as we sped toward the inn, I couldn’t help but notice one hung over a small winery. I found myself slowing down to study the sign, and it was difficult not to ball my fists by my sides by the time I finished reading.
When the sea grows rough, just remember the Lord is rightfully tough. He will watch over those who are pure of heart and slaughter those who choose to depart. Your faith shall guide you through hardship and sorrow, but should you stray from the path of righteousness, and turn to the dawn of the Wicca, you will know nothing but hellfire, and there shall be no tomorrow. Should you choose to stray, be sure to know that Queen Delphina will make you pay.
“Fucking idiots,” Akira muttered when we stopped to read. “What troll-shit.”
“Not to mention it’s poor poetry,” Morgana commented. “I mean… if you can even call it that.”
“Let’s go,” I whispered. “The sooner we get out of here, the better.”
The others muttered their agreements, and soon enough, I spotted a small wooden building with a swinging sign carved into the shape of a miniature horse.
“The Wooden Pony Inn.” I grinned. “Come on, let’s dry off and find a private table inside so we can--”
Before I could finish my sentence, I stopped dead in my tracks when an older man hobbled out of the inn. He was dressed in the same robes as the rest of us, and he also bore a long, golden cross around his neck as he waddled toward a large wooden cart stacked high with small piles of leather-bound books. A tiny donkey was tied to the cart, and when its black beady eyes met ours, it let out a long, drawn-out hee-haw.
Suddenly, the priest whipped around, and his withered face broke out into a broad, delighted grin.
“Good afternoon, my fellow southerners!” he cried out in a brittle, but friendly, voice. “I see we bear the same robes! Now, what brings you here? I thought they were only sending me and old Isabella here.”
He patted his donkey on the ass, and she grunted before he pulled out a bright red apple from his sleeve and fed it to her. His wrinkled eyes squinted in our direction before he began to shuffle slowly toward us, and now that we were spotted, there was no point in turning around.
We’d only look suspicious, and the last thing we wanted to do was to draw any more attention to ourselves.
“Fuck,” Akira hissed. “He thinks we’re from his village, or kingdom… or wherever the hell he comes from!”
“Play it cool,” I snapped under my breath. “I think I have an idea.”
I forced myself to smile at the old coot, and I raised my hands up into the air as I made my way toward him.
“By the Gods’ good graces,” I chuckled. “I thought we were the only ones traveling to Ved Havet.”
“I thought so, too,” he said as he dismissively waved his hand, “but… the more, the merrier, I always say! Are you also here to pay a visit to her majesty, Queen Delphina?”
This time, a genuine smile crept across my face as I quickly began to formulate a plan. This man carried a cart filled with books, which undoubtedly were bibles, and was on his way to see the queen. If I could lure him inside the inn and discreetly get rid of him, we’d have a solid plan.
But we had to be quick about it.
“As a matter of fact, we are.” I grinned. “Please, may I tempt you with a glass of wine, or perhaps a mug of ale?”
“Oh, I couldn’t, I just came out of there, you see, and I’m late as it is--” he began, but then Vesta took a small step forward.
“Please, oh, good and kind holy sir,” the elegant witch cooed as she batted her long, dark eyelashes at the old man. “We’d sincerely appreciate just a few moments with you. We’d love to hear more about yourself.”
“Well.” He grinned, and I noticed he was missing several teeth. “How could I deny such a sweet request?”
Akira snickered under her breath, but then Morgana discreetly nudged her in the ribs.
“Are you quite alright, dear?” the old man asked as he glanced at the black-eyed witch.
“Oh, yes.” Akira smiled. “I just have a small cold… and the rain certainly didn’t help.”
“Then, by all means,” the priest said as he raised his hands up into the air. “Let us go inside and sit by the fire.”
“Thank you so kindly, sir.” Circe flashed him an elegant smile. “We truly appreciate it.”
“Of course,” the old man gushed.
Satisfaction flowed through my body as I gently guided the old man back inside the inn. When we stepped inside, the smell of roasted meat, mingled with the stale scent of body odor and wet clothing, wafted up to my nostrils. To our benefit, the inn wasn’t terribly crowded, but my lips still curled up into a smile when I spotted another room in the back, away from the rest of the tables.
“Let us take a seat back there,” I said as I pointed toward the back room. “The weather has cleared up now, and surely more people will be drifting inside. I don’t want my companions to feel overwhelmed by a crowd of drunken men… they are pure of heart and soul after all, and men can be such brutes when it comes to the idea of a virgin conquest.”
A small bit of color drained from the old man’s face at the mention of the women’s virtue, but he quickly nodded and started to head for the back room.
“Of course,” he croaked, “and I must say, you are a group of stunning women… I mean that in no disrespectful way, of course. The Lord has simply blessed you.”
“We know,” Vesta replied with a demure smile, while Akira discreetly rolled her black eyes.
When we slipped into the adjoining, small, and private room, I was relieved to see a thick curtain hanging just next to the archway. As the rest of the women and the priest took their seats, I quickly swung the curtain over the opening, and now, we were safe from any possible prying eyes. The table was already laden with plates, silverware, goblets, and a pitcher of wine, and as everyone got comfortable, I began to pour everyone a small portion of wine.
“Now,” the priest said as he looked at each of us, “what brings you here? Did the queen request you as well?”
“She did,” I said with a nod. “Poor soul… I know life has been hard on her.”
“Yes, but we all grow humbler by our misfortunes,” the priest replied as he wriggled a finger in my direction. “I must say… you certainly are a young group… the youngest I’ve ever seen, in fact.”
“Well, you know our kingdom is always in search of holy members.” Penelope smiled.
“Indeed,” the priest remarked. “That is one of the many things I treasure about our glorious Loreshia.”
I smiled as soon as the name of his precious kingdom left his drooling, cracked lips. That was all the information I needed as I curled my fingers around a knife by my empty plate.
“I say,” the old man continued as he took a deep sip of wine, “these magical bastards and whores have been nothing but troub
le since the dawn of time. I hope to live long enough to see them completely wiped out from the realms and obliterated from complete existence… I say, my dear… what are those two peculiar dots on your forehead?”
As his beady eyes focused on Nyx’s face, I grasped the knife and swiftly slashed the old man’s throat with one quick and precise slice. His eyes quickly widened and were glassy with pain and fear as crimson blood dripped out from his wrinkled and open throat. Then he raised his trembling, bony hands to his split gorge and grasped feebly around his neck as if he could stop the bleeding.
“Where’s your God now?” I sneered as I looked at his stunned face.
As the spark of life drained from his eyes, his head dropped to the table, and his entire body went limp.
The women quickly retreated from their seats and stared at his lifeless body.
“Look, there’s a blanket over there,” Penelope said as she pointed to a stained bundle of rough-looking fabric. “We can cover him up and make it look like he drank too much and fell asleep… no one will disturb him for a long while, I’d imagine.”
“Why not?” Nyx asked. “Wouldn’t they be pissed that he decided to take a nap right here?”
“He’s a priest… they will most likely make an exception for him,” Penelope suggested. “My only concern though is the blood… he’s still bleeding quite profusely.”
“I can fix that,” Morgana said as she pulled out her wand and aimed it at the man’s throat. “Sem.”
A small, bright silver light hit the dead priest right in the throat, and his open wound closed up with small, neat black stitches. The bookish brunette then stared at the thick pool of dark blood and aimed her wand at the growing puddle on the wooden table.
“Tersus sursum,” she muttered.
The blood immediately dissolved into nothingness, and within moments, the entire table was sleek, clean, and shiny. Morgana smiled in satisfaction before she carefully tucked her wand back into the folds of her gold and purple cloak, and as she did so, Penelope and Circe ran over to grab the blanket and carefully placed it over the dead priest’s slumped shoulders. They also carefully situated his head to make it look as innocent and inconspicuous as possible, and by the time they were finished, it really did look as if he’d fallen into a harmless, drunken stupor.