My chest ached for Travis. The life he had lived and the things he had endured. I couldn’t imagine being able to fall in love, but to have it ripped from me on such an important date? The thought robbed me of the breath in my lungs. I had no idea why I was so invested in this story or why I cared so much, but I hung onto Miss Mabel’s every word.
“So that’s why I’m shocked. He only comes into town when he needs something and, to my knowledge, he doesn’t talk to anyone,” Mabel said.
“Well, I’m glad he was there. I’m not sure I would’ve survived the storm had he not been,” I said.
“I’m just glad you’re all right, my child. And don’t worry. This fun little encounter will be our little secret.”
Mabel gave me a playful wink before she picked up her cane and left. I watched her walk away as the story spun around in my head. Was what she said true? Had someone really broken that poor man’s heart like that? It would explain why he was such a recluse. But if he was a recluse, then why did he agree to have coffee with me the other day? We talked for the entire afternoon. That wasn’t what recluses did, right?
I wasn’t sure why I cared about any of it. But I knew I was curious.
And I found myself hoping I would run into him again.
Ten
Ava
It was a rainy day in Kettle and I was closed up in my room. My brothers were downstairs talking away with my father while my mother sat and worked on her needlepoint. Fucking needlepoint. Like we lived in the damn thirties. I sat in my room reading a book. Well, a book that was appropriate for a woman to read, according to my father. The classics were his favorite, so we were all well-versed in them. But I had a fun little trick. I would rent out the books I wanted to read alongside the books my father wanted me to read. Then, I would switch the book covers just in case my father barged in without knocking.
Which was always.
The cover said, “To Kill a Mockingbird,” but I was actually reading “The Art Of Public Speaking.” If I wanted to be a businesswoman one day, I had to get comfortable with the idea of talking to a room full of people. And with a father who expected me to stand in a corner and not speak until spoken to, public speaking wasn’t something I practiced on a regular basis. I devoured Dale Carnegie’s books. I thought he had a lot of valuable information for me to learn. But I had to be careful about when I read my books. I kept a book light stored underneath my mattress so I could read well after my parents had gone to bed.
Which meant I was taking a grave chance reading this book in the middle of the day.
“Ava! Sweetheart! Could you come downstairs!?”
I heard my mother’s voice waft up the stairs as I dropped my book in my lap. I opened up the secret compartment in my bedside table and shoved my book in there. I smoothed my dress out with my hands and tried to look appropriate before I started for the stairs, but my heart pounded in my chest. My brothers told me they would talk to my father eventually, but had they already done it? Was this why I had been beckoned?
Had they convinced my father that I didn’t have to marry?
I saw my brothers sitting around, but their faces were blank. I couldn’t get a read on them and that worried me. Finn shot me a comforting grin while Lorenzo nodded his head, but Hunter was still fuming. I could see it behind his eyes.
“Sit,” my father said.
I went over to my chair in the room and sat down with my back straight. I crossed my legs at my ankles and folded my hands together. I looked up at him as he raked his eyes over me, taking in my obedient form before he nodded in approval. Like he was prepared for me to do something wrong before he could grace me with his voice.
“Your brothers and I have been… talking,” my father said.
“Oh?” I asked.
“Just listen,” he said.
I nodded and bowed my eyes to my lap as I squeezed my hands for comfort.
“It has come to my attention that this Timothy Wells might not be all he claims to be,” my father said.
I slowly raised my head, my brow furrowed in confusion.
“No need to worry yourself over it. These are things dealt with between men. But, he is no longer suitable to marry my daughter.”
I felt my heart leap for joy in my chest. My eyes settled onto my brothers, but they didn’t look as pleased as I was. I knew there was a “but” coming, so I tried to brace myself through my happiness.
But it was hard, because I was elated that I wouldn’t have to marry that man.
“In the meantime, you have a date this evening,” my father said.
“What?” I asked.
He shot me a look that should have prompted me to swallow my tongue. But all it did was fuel my anger.
They were setting me up on another fucking date!?
“There is a lovely gentleman that works in Mr. Wells’ company. He’s a bit younger. Up and coming. Graduated from Yale and was also educated at Cambridge. Comes from a good family and would make a suitable husband,” my father said.
“But that’s what you also thought about Mr. Wells,” I said.
My father shot me another look, but I wasn’t having it.
“Why in the world do I have to marry?” I asked.
“Ava, settle down,” my mother said.
“I’m not yelling and I’m not upset. I just want to know why I am expected to marry,” I said.
“Because that is your place, Ava. You are my beautiful daughter, and you will get nothing but the best. Mr. Wells was not the best, and it was to the courtesy of your brothers that you owe the dissolution of that proposal. I suggest you thank them,” my father said.
“I don’t think so,” I said. “Because me telling you I’m not ready to marry should’ve been enough.”
“That will be all, Ava,” my father said.
“No, no it won’t be.”
I stood to my feet as my brothers stood to theirs.
“The way this family operates is insane. We live in the twenty-first century, Dad. Women are running entire corporations,” I said.
“Not this again. Ava, I have explained to you why you cannot take over the family business,” my mother said.
“You have what?” my father asked.
“I’m not even talking about the family business! Dad, you’re trying to marry me off like I’m some sort of property to you. And I’m not. I’m not a business transaction. You can’t barter and borrow with my virginity,” I said.
“You will tone down that type of talking right this instance,” he said.
“And if I don’t?” I asked.
“Then you will be married to this man without so much as a courtesy date,” my father said.
“So if I listen to you, I’m married, and if I don’t listen to you, I’m doubly-married. Got it,” I said. “So if my circumstance doesn’t change, then I lose nothing by telling you this. I am a person who happens to have boobs. And just because you see Mom as property doesn’t mean I’m your property. I’m a grown women who wants to make decisions for her own life, and you rip those from me as if I’m your pet puppy. I want to be educated, but the only things I get are the literature classics and a brush-up in my table manners!”
“You will calm down this instant!” my father said.
“I will do no such thing! That’s fine if I can’t help out with the family business. My brothers are smart and fully capable of doing such a thing. But I will not allow you to marry me off without my permission! That might as well be considered torture!”
“Ava, what in the world has gotten into you?” my mother asked.
“A pair of balls, Mom. Something you should’ve grown a long time ago,” I said.
I heard my brothers snicker just before something cracked against my cheek. I could feel it stinging as Hunter cried out for me, my head whipping around on my neck. Tears sprang to my eyes as my hand came to my cheek, touching the burning skin as my father panted. I slowly looked back at him, watching his hand stay raised as if he was prepa
ring for another blow.
“I will not have you disrespecting me in my own house,” my father said. “I have raised you to be a proper woman. One who is respected, polite, and beautiful. I put you through the best schooling as a child and paid exorbitant amounts of money for you to have the best clothes and makeup and guidance I could afford. You will not throw it all back in my face because you have decided to be ungrateful.”
Tears fell onto my cheeks as my body began to tremble.
“Now, get upstairs and clean yourself up. Your mother will be up in a couple of hours to help you prepare for your date tonight,” my father said.
I looked over at my brothers and they were poised to lunge at my father. Why they hadn’t already done it was beyond me, but they had done all they felt they could do, I supposed. I drew in a shaking breath as I backtracked upstairs, my mind reeling as I closed my door. I sank to the floor as tears continued to stream down my cheeks as my hand cupped my red-tainted skin.
I had to get out of here.
I couldn’t stay here another second.
I went and ripped the last suitcase I had out of my closet. I pulled out the few pieces of clothing I had snuck in over the years. Three pairs of jeans, two sweatshirts, some cotton panties, a pair of flip flops, and a two-piece bathing suit. I ripped at all the shirts my mother had made for me and grabbed a couple of the dresses I still enjoyed. I threw all of my library books in there and stuffed my favorite pillow on top, then I sat on the suitcase as I zipped it up.
I grabbed my phone charger and my phone, but I took the battery out of it. I grabbed the coffee can from underneath my bed that I had stowed money away in for a couple of years now. It wasn’t much. Maybe four hundred dollars. But it would get me to somewhere other than here, and that was the point.
I shoved it all into the pockets of my dress I had secretively sewn onto the outfit I was wearing.
Then? A knock came at my door.
“Who is it?” I asked.
“It’s Hunter.”
I pushed my suitcase off to the side and slowly opened the door.
“Are you packed?” he asked.
I furrowed my brow at him as I looked back at the suitcase I had concealed.
“How did you—”
“Come with me,” he said.
He held out his hand for me and I took it within mine. I grabbed my suitcase and tossed it over my shoulder as we wove through the house. We went out the back entrance, avoiding Mom and Dad as we booked it for the far corner of our property. We ran until we couldn’t hardly breathe, and as we got passed the small amounts of brush, we came to a road.
And my car sat there with Finn and Lorenzo in it.
Hunter took my suitcase from me and stuffed it into my car. Finn and Lorenzo got out, then handed me an envelope. I opened it up and found a numerous amount of bills in it, and I gasped as tears streamed down my face.
“The first thing you need to do when you get to wherever you’re going is you need to change your phone number. Open your own account if you have to. Then? You call us. We want to know you’re okay,” Lorenzo said.
“That’s enough money to get you set up somewhere for a couple of months. But if you do a nice extended stay hotel, you can get four months out of it,” Finn said.
I turned toward Hunter as tears streamed down my cheeks.
“What they’re doing to you is wrong, Ava. And if running is the only way you can get away-- if that’s the only way we can help you-- then that’s what we’re going to do,” he said.
“Because we’re your brothers. And we love you,” Finn said.
I hugged each of their necks tightly before Lorenzo ushered me into my car. I gave them one last wave before I left, watching them recede in my rearview mirror. It hurt to leave them. To watch them wave me off. This was what my life had come to. Running from the only life I had ever known—the only family I had ever known—just to try and make something better for myself. I sighed as I got out onto the main road, my head on a swivel as I tried to figure out where the hell I was going to go from here.
I wasn’t sure if I was ready for California anymore. But I did know where the last place was that I felt safe.
I followed my streets as best as I could remember them. But the torrential downpouring of rain concealed a lot of my memory. I wove through the mountains for three hours before I finally happened upon Travis’ cabin, and I grinned when his truck came into view. I stuffed the money I had into my purse before I grabbed it, then made my way for the porch.
I knocked furiously on the door until he opened up.
The door flew open and his eyes were wild. His sparkling amber orbs looked around, preparing for some sort of fight. But as his eyes gazed down at me and he studied me closely, the happiness I thought I saw in his eyes quickly morphed into a slow-burning anger.
Then, his hand came up and cupped my cheek.
“What happened?” Travis asked.
My heart thundered in my ears as his thumb stroked my cheek. It seemed to swell the more he began to manipulate it. His eyes danced around my face as I took in his strong form, my pelvis churning with a heat I’d never experienced before. My mind went blank as his eyes connected with mine, and I found myself at a loss for what to do.
Travis was beautiful and calm. He asked me questions and gave me options and never attempted to pressure me to do something he wished I would. Even though I had only been in his presence for snippets at a time, I knew he was a genuine person. A man who had been beaten down and broken, just like myself.
“Who hit you?” Travis asked.
I threw my arms around his neck and crashed my lips to his. Travis was the escape I needed. Travis was the distraction I so desperately wanted. If my father thought that he could sell off my virginity to the highest bidder, then I could take from him the one thing he thought gave him power.
I would give my virginity away to a man of my choosing, then I would let the pieces fall as they would.
As I kissed a man for the first time, allowing my tongue to dance along his lips, Travis slid his arms around my waist and picked me up. He carried me into his cabin and kicked the door closed behind him as the heat of his home blanketed me. His arms were strong. Throbbing against my back as he carried me down the hallway, our lips entangled as his tongue met mine.
For once, I was in control of my life. For once, I was excited for what was to come. For once, I was making my own choices.
And in that moment, I chose Travis.
Eleven
Ava
The door to his bedroom shut and we were cloaked in darkness. I could feel a heat pooling between my thighs I’d felt multiple times before. But I had never acted on it. I had never dared to try and figure out what was going on for fear that my father would find me. Come bursting into my room at any moment and catch me exploring myself. I stuck to reading books about my body. How a woman’s body was laid out and what everything was supposed to do. I knew my body in and out in a practical sense and in a sexual sense, but it had never been put to practice.
The only thing that made me appealing to my father’s business whims was the fact that I was still a virgin.
My back descended onto a bed as Travis’ lips devoured mine. A beautiful pressure burned in my chest. His hands were rough and calloused, traveling up my shirt and dancing along the trim of my bra. Electricity surged through my veins, taking me to heights I’d never experienced before. His beard tickled my skin as my hands drifted over his back, tentatively feeling his muscles undulating underneath my touch.
Something pressing into my thigh caused me to gasp.
“What in the world?” I asked.
Travis pulled away as I looked down, my eyes widening at the sight. Holy hell, that was his cock. That massive protrusion pressing into my leg was supposed to go inside of me.
I found Travis’ eyes again, his amber orbs gleaming with debauched intent. But my nerves were getting the best of me and I pulled away, sitting upright on his bed
.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I just… it’s just… big,” I said.
“Thank you for the compliment,” he said.
But my eyes whipped back up to his and I could see his face sink.
“Shit,” he said as he sat on the edge of the bed.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“I didn’t even think about that,” he said.
“Please don’t go away. Come back,” I said.
I reached out for him, but he pulled away, standing to his feet with his head bowed to the floor.
“You’re a virgin,” he said.
“Why does that matter?” I asked.
“It always matters,” he said as he turned around. “That kind of thing matters.”
“Why?”
“Because your first time should be with someone special. Someone you love and care about.”
“If it was up to my father, my virginity would be sold to the highest bidder,” I said.
“No one works like that, Ava.”
“My father does,” I said.
It must’ve been the sincerity in my voice, because Travis slowly turned around to look at me. I saw the hesitancy in his eyes. The way his primal nature had curled back into his gut. I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I should’ve kept my head in the game. I felt tears of embarrassment rising to my eyes, and I curled my legs into my chest to keep them at bay.
“I’ve never gotten to make my own decisions in life,” I said. “Never. I’ve always followed the plan my father had. And if I ever bucked up to him, then I was punished. Harshly. But this is my body. It’s my virginity. And I want to choose who I give it to.”
Travis’ eyes locked onto mine as a tear dripped down my cheek.
“I don’t want my body explored by someone who’s just gonna… use it for their own pleasure. Take what’s theirs and leave. That’s what would make it special for me, Travis.”
“I don’t love you,” he said.
“Well, I don’t love you either. I’m not asking you to love me. I’m only asking you to explore me.”
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