by Remy, Cate
Heat rushed over her. His lips weren’t far from hers. “I think I get the hint.” Her voice grew quiet.
He leaned in and closed the distance between their lips. He kissed her in the space of several flitting heartbeats. Tracy was aware of their entwined fingers. She pulled back and took a breath.
“We shouldn’t kiss like this.”
“Like what?” His hazel irises had a darker color in the low light as he stared at her.
“Like we mean it.”
He massaged the inside of her palms with his thumbs. “What if I do mean it? What if I say I’m becoming attracted to you?”
The door to the dressing room opened with a sharp creak. Tracy jumped. Then she looked at a woman dressed all in black standing in the doorway.
“Isn’t this cute?” None other than Rita, Deacon’s ex-girlfriend snickered. “Pardon me for interrupting.”
Deacon’s hands were still on Tracy’s. She felt them tense just before he took them away. “What are you doing here, Rita?”
She shut the door behind her. “My band is playing at the pavilion tomorrow. I thought I’d relax and enjoy the concert tonight.”
“Backstage is a private area.”
Rita laughed, her dark red lips spreading in a thin smile. “I can see this area is private. You two were taking advantage of it.”
“Who let you backstage?”
She took another step into the room. Her heels clicked on the floor. “I bought a backstage pass to see you.”
Tracy looked to Deacon. “You sell those?”
“No, it must be something new Ash cooked up.” He rose from the couch and faced Rita. “You need to go. I never approved of backstage passes, and I’m with my girlfriend right now.”
His ex tilted her head and pretended to look bored. “I’ve seen all the social media posts and Celeb Zone scoops. I know she’s your new girlfriend. But if you ask me,” she paused, studying Tracy as if she were a picture hanging on the wall and not an actual person in the room, “she’s not spotlight material. She seems like the type who should be behind the camera rather than in front of it.”
“Classy,” Tracy muttered as she stood to her feet. “I don’t know why you ever let this one go, Deacon.”
Rita put her hands on her hips. “I dumped him, not the other way around.”
Tracy refrained from rolling her eyes. This was Deacon’s unfinished drama. She regretted even responding to Rita’s taunt.
“Tracy,” said deacon. “Will you give us a moment?”
A small shock ran through her. What did he need to say to Rita that he couldn’t say in front of her? She caught herself before her emotions could build up. She kept letting herself get carried away by Deacon’s flirting and kisses, but she was still under contract to play his girlfriend. Nothing more. Therefore, she couldn’t afford to suddenly care about his business with his ex-girlfriend. She sighed in annoyed resignation. “Don’t worry. I’m leaving.” She picked up her camera lens and bag. She walked by Rita without so much as a second glance.
“You know, Tracy, a pair of heels would do wonders for your legs.”
Ugh. This woman really was testing her. Tracy shot her a quick glance as she stood in the doorway. “It’s okay. I’m tall enough to look down my nose at your petty jealousy just fine.” With that, she left Rita and Deacon to themselves.
Something nagged at her on the inside, however. Deacon didn’t try to stop Rita when she was making fun of her. Could it be that he still had feelings for his ex and didn’t want to confront her for being rude? She heard Deacon’s heavier footsteps approach the door and close it shut behind her.
Guess that was her answer.
Outside the dressing room, Tracy faced the sound technicians and backstage crew. They quickly looked away and pretended to be busy getting ready for the show. She squashed her feelings of humiliation and went to finish assembling her camera equipment.
Don’t think about it. It’s not like it’s a real rejection. You have a fake relationship with a rock star who is just a fake himself. Tracy took a deep breath to calm her anger. She relaxed her face muscles so she wouldn’t appear to be frowning.
Her phone vibrated in her pocket. Who could be calling her now? She took it out and saw the number belonging to Dr. Forest’s office. She found a quiet corner backstage and put the phone to her ear. “Hello, this is Tracy.”
“Tracy, this is Dr. Forest. I apologize for calling late, but I wanted to tell you about your lab results.”
Her already racing heart beat faster. “Am I a match?”
“I’m sorry. You’re not.”
Her heart sank in her stomach. For several days, she kept her hopes up for good news that could save her aunt’s life. “Can I take the test again?”
“I understand how you feel, but the test has a high accuracy rate. You’re not going to be able to donate a kidney to your aunt.”
She pushed her hair off her ears. “What other option is there? I want her to live.”
“The only other option is to put your aunt on a waiting list to find a matching donor. The process could be anywhere from six months to three years.”
“Three years? For a kidney to be donated?” She grew dizzy just thinking about her poor aunt going in for weekly dialysis. There was a chance Auntie Olivia wouldn’t survive the next three years without a functioning organ. She lowered herself to the floor, the dizziness making it hard for her to stand.
“Are you still there? I know this is tough news to hear, Tracy. Your aunt is a strong woman. I already talked to her about being put on a waiting list and she’s agreed to do it.”
She pictured her aunt’s smiling face and a tear fell down her cheek. “Will you keep me updated on her position on the waiting list?”
“Absolutely. I also want to let you know, Tracy, it was a brave thing you did to volunteer to be a potential donor.”
She didn’t feel very brave. In fact, she never felt more helpless and useless in her whole life. “Thanks for calling me, Dr. Forest.”
“Take care.”
Tracy put her phone away. She remained seated on the floor, cradling the side of her head. She heard footsteps come closer. Tracy raised her head to see a stage crew member. The guy looked like he couldn’t have been older than eighteen. His movements were flustered and he seemed out of his element.
“Uh, Miss, can I get you a bottle of water or something?”
She noticed the rest of the backstage crew was staring at her again. She needed to get it together fast because she was causing a big scene. “No, thanks. I’m alright.” She answered the teenager with as much confidence she could put into her voice. “ I needed a moment to myself. I’m going to set up to take pictures now.”
She got back to her feet. The dizziness went away. Even so, she kept her movements slow. She took one last glance at the door to Deacon’s dressing room. It was still closed.
DEACON STARED IN DISBELIEF at his ex. Rita had to have planned this. She had some real nerve, barging up in his dressing room right before his concert and when he was sharing a private moment with Tracy. He could still smell the sweet candy scent of Tracy’s hair, and feel her warm skin and soft lips. All of that was interrupted by his vindictive ex. “I don’t appreciate you barging in here, Rita. You have five minutes to explain yourself before I have security throw you out.”
Rita pouted, her lips a garish red stain in her face. “I wasn’t barging in. I told you I bought a backstage pass, remember?”
“Even if you did, backstage pass holders are supposed to wait for band members to come out and greet them. Who’d you bribe to get in here?”
She shrugged and sauntered over to the couch. She didn’t sit down. “There may have been a twentysomething security guard who needed a quick couple hundred bucks for his upcoming keg party.”
He should have known. Next time, he’d hire his own personal security to work backstage. “Let me make this clear. I don’t want to see you.”
She pouted h
er lips again and proceeded to look like a spoiled, upset child. “Don’t you miss me?”
“Not anymore.” Deacon knew it was all an act. “I figured you out. You crave attention more than anything else, including real affection.”
“Look who’s talking. Sounds like you got a psych degree while I went away. Are those your words, or that nerdy girl’s with the camera and Coke bottle glasses?”
“If you’re going to call names like you’re still in junior high, you need to leave.”
Heels clacking on the floor, Rita strutted towards him and tried to kiss him. Deacon backed away before she could make contact. She laughed it off, though her eyes flashed in anger. “You still want me.”
“I don’t. I moved on. You should, too.”
“I don’t believe you. I don’t believe this thing with you and that nerd girl are real. You got one minute to tell me the truth, Deacon. If you don’t, I’m headed to Europe to tour with Krash. You’ll lose your chance with me for good.”
Deacon shrugged. “Go to Europe with Krash. You and I are over, Rita. Leave.”
She studied him intensely. “Maybe you are being serious.”
“I’m also trying to be nice enough not to have security escort you out. There are cameras everywhere, you know.”
“Goodbye and good riddance, Deacon.” She yanked the door open and stomped out.
Deacon followed, going into the backstage main area. There, he saw Tracy getting her camera tripod ready. She glanced up at Rita marching past her and then at him. Her cold look was enough to make Deacon stop in his tracks.
She also look to be on the verge of tears. Something inside him felt like it was being ripped open. Did he cause that reaction in Tracy? Was it because he spoke to Rita? He could kick himself for exposing Tracy to his ex’s childish, toxic behavior. He opened his mouth to call her name, but Tracy put her head down again to focus on her work.
“Deacon.” The backstage crew manager ran his way. “You’re up in five.”
“Do me a favor while I’m onstage. Make sure no one else gets back here unless they’re with the band. No one. Got it?”
The guy nodded, confused. He followed Deacon’s orders and pressed a button on his headset to relay the message to the rest of the crew.
Deacon went past him and met up with Ash, who cut a path between him and Tracy. “Next time, Ash, let me know beforehand when you get the bright idea to sell backstage passes.”
His manager frowned. “What’s the big deal?”
“Rita was here. She came right into my dressing room because she bought a pass and bribed a security guard.”
“Are you serious?” His manager gritted his teeth. “What a mess.”
“You bet it is. She just left.”
“I’ll take care of it. It won’t happen again. Now go out on stage and focus.”
Deacon walked away from him, still feeling disgusted. He had to talk to Tracy before he ran up on stage. He wanted to make sure she was okay.
He looked for her and saw she had already gone, most likely outside waiting for the band to appear. Now he had to wait until after the concert to speak to her. He exhaled, loud. How he messed things up royally. He regretted putting Tracy in a vulnerable position
“Deacon,” Nick called to him. “Hustle, man. We got to go.”
He would find her after the concert and tell her he was sorry. Deacon took a deep breath in hopes it would channel all his anger and tension towards something more positive, like energy for the concert. Then he ran out on stage.
ABOUT AN HOUR AND A half later, Deacon headed backstage. The concert was a total bomb. He missed half of his notes, and just couldn’t seem to get on the right pitch. All he could do was think about Tracy while she filmed him behind the camera. The whole time, he wanted to throw the mic down and go to her and talk. But he couldn’t.
“Hope we do better in South Carolina,” Luka stated, referring to their next stop on tour.
Deacon grabbed a water bottle from a nearby cooler and downed all of it on the way to his dressing room. He changed out of his stage clothes into a fresh pair of t-shirt and jeans, grabbed his duffle bag, and headed straight out. He looked around for Tracy backstage, but didn’t see her. He went all the way back to the rear of the building to the exit. There, an older security guard manned the doors. He looked startled when he saw Deacon. “Anything I can do for you, sir?”
“I need out of here.”
“Your manager says the bus won’t be ready for fifteen minutes.”
“I’m looking for my photographer. Tall African American woman in her early twenties?”
“Did she have on glasses?”
“That’s her. Did she go this way?”
“She handed me her stage pass before she left. She said she was catching a cab back to the hotel.”
Deacon dropped his duffel bag on the floor. He wished he had run straight for the back exit instead of changing clothes. He may have been able to catch Tracy. He took out his phone and dialed her number. She answered on the second ring.
“Yes, Deacon?” Her voice was different. Distant and professional.
“Tracy, the security guard just said you caught a cab to the hotel.”
“That’s right. I’m tired. I want the rest of the night to myself.” She sounded like she was tired, but he sensed something else beneath the surface.
“I won’t bother you. I just want to know how you’re doing.”
“Great. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She hung up.
The security guard looked at him. “It’s all good?”
“Yeah.” Deacon slipped his phone back into his pocket. He blew it big-time. “It’s all good. Just perfect.”
TRACY DIDN’T SLEEP well at all that night. Her mind replayed her encounter with Rita and the whole resulting fallout like a bad movie set on repeat. Mixed with her frustration was her worry for her aunt’s declining health. If she wasn’t a match for her aunt, then who was? The idea of her aunt being on some waiting list for an indeterminate time made her anxious.
Dawn finally came. The first rays of light shone through the top of the hotel room curtains. Tracy dressed and went downstairs to sit on the veranda. The ocean lapped at the sand. She watched the sunrise over the beach. The sound of the waves provided a bit of comfort to her restless mind.
A server from the hotel restaurant came to her. “May I get you anything?”
“I’ll just have a cup of coffee.”
“Are you sure you don’t want anything else? A bowl of fresh fruit, maybe?”
Tracy didn’t have much of an appetite. Later this morning, though, she was supposed to leave with the band on a bus trip to South Carolina, where their next concert would take place. It was probably best to eat a little something before she hit the road. “A bowl of fresh fruit is fine. I should probably have scrambled eggs, too.”
The server went to get her breakfast. Tracy studied the waves again before she took out her cell phone and dialed her aunt’s number.
“Hello.” Auntie Olivia’s soft-spoken voice almost made her cry.
“I was just calling to check on you.”
“Tracy, honey, Dr. Forest called me late yesterday. He said you had done lab work to see if you could donate a kidney to me.”
“I wanted to help you, Auntie. I didn’t want you to have to keep going to dialysis.”
“Sweetie, if I had known, I would have told you not to do that. You’re young and need to live life. I don’t want you worried about me.”
“I can’t help it. I love you. I’m sad you have to be put on a waiting list for a match.”
“It can’t be helped. The doctors are doing everything they can. We’ve done everything. We just have to have faith.”
At this point, Tracy didn’t feel like believing in much of anything. The server came back with her coffee and breakfast.
“I hear wind or something behind you. Are you outside?”
“That’s the ocean you hear in the background.”
She bit into a strawberry. “We’re still in Miami. Their tour bus is going to Charleston today.”
“I’m so glad you have a job you love and that will let you travel. You tell Deacon to behave himself now.”
She wanted to forget about Deacon for a few moments, but it was going to be impossible. “Don’t worry, Auntie. He knows.”
“He better, because he has a jewel with him. I love you, sweetie. Take care.”
“Love you, too, Auntie. I’ll call you later.” A few tears crept down her face. The salt wind came to dry them away. Just then, a shadow swept over her table as she was putting her phone down. She looked up and saw deacon.
“Mind if I join you?”
She wiped her eyes fast. “Go ahead.”
He took the empty seat across from her at the table. “How are you doing?”
“Fine.” She didn’t feel like explaining why she was crying to Deacon. He didn’t have to know everything. He was so wrapped up in his own drama with Rita and his band tour that he probably wouldn’t care, anyway.
The sunrise highlighted the gold tones of his skin. The wind blew in his hair as he looked out to the ocean. “I’m sorry about last night, about Rita barging in. If that’s why you were crying—”
“It wasn’t. I just got off the phone with my aunt.”
His eyes widened. “Is she doing well?”
Tracy gripped her coffee cup, uncomfortable with telling him the exact details. “She’s in good spirits. She was just telling me something her doctor said.” Deacon looked a little skeptical. Tracy quickly changed the subject. She pushed the bowl of fruit his way. “There’s more than enough here for me.”
He held up his hand to decline the food. “I’m not really hungry this morning.”
“After all that energy you burned on stage last night?”
The wind grew noisy. He moved his chair closer to hers. “I was worried about you last night. I thought you were upset about Rita showing up.”
“You talked to Rita for a long time after I left.” She didn’t really want to talk about his ex-girlfriend, but she didn’t want the attention on her situation with her aunt. “I didn’t like how she spoke to me.”