by Paloma Meir
New From Paloma Meir
A Girl's Story (Zelda's World Book 1)
Overdone (The Loss of Reason) (Zelda's World Book 2)
Book Three - A Codependent Love Story (Zelda's World 3)
Trashed - A Bipolar Love Story
Vee & Addie
Zelda's World - The Complete Collection: A Girl's Story, Overdone (The Loss of Reason), Book Three, Trashed
Heartbreaker Breaks - A Bittersweet Lottery Love Story: Money, Love and a Much Younger Man... A Darkly Humorous Love Story
Esme and the Money Grab: Money, Love and a Corpse... A Darkly Humorous Love Story
Copyright © 2015 by Paloma Meir
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof
may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever
without the express written permission of the author
except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
First Edition, 2015
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For Matt, my own personal alpha male.
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Preview of Trashed
Overdone
(The Loss of Reason)
by
Paloma Meir
Chapter One
I put my car into fifth taking the coastal curves as they came. It had been five years since I had last seen her. Not a call or card from Zelda. She kept in touch with my mother. She would mention her sometimes and show me some of the press clippings or scarves Zelda had sent her. I would glance over and say something positive like, that’s great. All I really knew was she had been living in Madrid with the professor she met on her semester abroad.
I thought about not going to my parent’s Labor Day party, but they insisted. Their invitation was firm, more of an order. My parents were older. They had my brother and I late in life, and I was nothing if not a good son. So there I was on the road to their house when I would have much rather have stayed out in Malibu.
I rounded the corner off Sunset and up the canyon faster than I should have been driving. I saw the road as I had as a boy. Zelda and I walking down the road together for the first time, her bundled up in my arms with a dreamy look in her eyes. I lost myself reliving the moment, the way her hands played with mine as we walked down the hill together. I shook my head for a reality check. She wasn’t that person when she left for Spain and hadn’t been well before then. I knew it was the worst part of me wanting to remember her as an innocent girl dependent on me.
I recklessly sped up the canyon road, and slowed down as I approached their house. The valets waved me over, wanting to take my car. I waved them away and parked a few blocks up the street. I needed the few minutes the walk down the road would provide to get my head into place. I took a deep breath and shook off the trailing memories as I opened the door to their home.
A sea of grey hair and tailored clothes greeted me. I saw Valencia, their housekeeper, across the room wearing her starched uniform. I smiled at her in a show of support. I knew she never liked when they made her wear the white-collared black dress.
I looked down at my outfit of fitted khakis and blue plaid button down shirt. I should have worn a summer suit, or white because in their world it was last day of the year to do that. I laughed to myself imagining how my parent’s friends would react if they saw me down on the beach wearing my board shorts and faded t-shirts.
I saw her as I entered the living room. It could only be her. The long and layered red skirt with scraps of the hem pinned up to show her golden legs. The sun kissed legs surprised me. She had always embraced her paleness. The whiteness of Zelda, her hair, the poreless milky white skin, the big brown doe eyes. She stood with her back to me. I didn’t want her to turn around. What other surprises would there be? Let her stay a memory.
She stood close to my father, leaning on him, whispering something in his ear, giggling. In all the years we were together my father was the only one she ever flirted with. She had been shy otherwise.
My father laughed, another surprise because Zelda was only ever unintentionally funny. She appreciated a good sense of humor and was comfortable laughing at herself but she never had what it took to make someone purposefully laugh. Except with my dad, or maybe that had changed too.
Loud music filled the house. I looked past the living room to see a band playing outside on the grass by the pool. Zelda shook her hip against my father’s. I worried for a moment she would break it. I didn’t know if it were the heat of the day or my state of mind but he looked every day of his seventy-three years.
“The greatest love affair of our time.” My mother laughed and woke me from my voyeurism.
“Hi Mom,” I gave her a kiss on the cheek, “Didn’t understand it then, don’t understand it now.”
“He made her feel safe. She was an affectionate girl. Remember how she would hang on you? It’s been nice having her back. Have you spoken to her yet?”
“No I’m going to hang back and watch for a while.”
“She looks even better from the front but suit yourself.” She laughed again as she fluffed up my hair. I had gone in for a trim the day before for the benefit of her friends. She went back to greeting her guests.
I walked to the bar to get a drink and a different view of her. Peasant blouse and long skirts, I never liked when she went through her billowy periods. I couldn’t tell if she had put on weight, not that it mattered. She turned her head, giving me a clear view of her profile. The high forehead, the arch of eyebrow, the same delicate nose and pink full lips, beautiful.
I finished my beer and asked the bartender for another. I took a gulp, looked back her way, and wished she had worn her long hair down instead of pilled back into a bun. I did like the large red rose she wore behind her ear, sweet memories.
I grew bored with watching her after my second beer and walked outside to the chaise lounges. Quietness filled the canyon as the band took a break. I drank my third beer and thought of my brother Brian up north. It had been almost a year since I last saw him. I was tempted to leave the party and drive up the coast for a surprise visit.
“Danny” I felt her lips on mine, her hands on my face before seeing her.
“Zelda I didn’t know you were here.”
She tilted her head, smiling, happy to see me. “Really? Your Dad said you were watching us talk.” Her hands stayed on my face. Her beauty knocked me out the way it always had. I wanted to leave.
“Was that you?” Why was I pretending? “I was watching you beauty. How have you been?” I was annihilated by the banality of having to ask her of
all people that question.
“Dance with me Danny.” She took my hand and lifted me from the lounge as the band started up again. I hated her skirts. I gulped down my third beer as she led me out to where the elderly couples were dancing slowly in time to the music.
She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and danced slowly, softly singing a song. Her lips brushed against my ear. A waiter walked past, I asked him to bring me another beer. I put my hand on her hip as we swayed to the music. It was the same hip, slim and rounded where my fingers lay against it.
A fast song played. She spun away from me and raised her arms above her head and danced in a flamenco style. It was wild enough to attract attention but not out of the realm of what was acceptable. I drank my beer as I watched her skirt twirl around her long golden legs.
I wasn’t a big drinker, and the four beers had made me more comfortable than I would like to have been. I pulled her back and held her against me. She kissed my neck and sang a Spanish song, murmuring the words in a low voice.
A light perspiration covered us as the sun went down in the canyon, giving my once alabaster babe a bronzed glow. I took her hand in mine and led her back to the chaise. I wanted to get her a drink, something to eat. We had been dancing for close to an hour. She needed a rest.
She held up her finger to signal one last dance. She locked her arms around me before I could say no and kissed me with a force she didn’t need to use. I was more than already there. “I’m taking you upstairs when this song is over.” I whispered into her ear as she nuzzled into my neck, kissing my throat.
The moment the song was over I ran her around the side of the house and up the backstairs. Up against the bedroom door I kissed her hard for all the lost years. The beer gave me an otherworldly feel. I fought against it. She reached behind us to open the door and we fell backwards onto the floor.
I kicked it shut with my foot and pulled her skirt and underwear down. She unbuttoned my pants, almost ripping them off of me. A struggle over who was to be on top, but I won. On top of her, in and out, devouring her as she moaned loudly. We clung to each other, sweaty, as if we were trying to pack the five missing years into one act of love. Over and over again I told her how much I needed her with me.
She shifted out from under me and slowly took off her clothes. Her eyes met mine, seductively as if daring me to watch. No problem baby. I got up off the floor and held her against me, her chest against mine. I kissed her neck, her breasts. My mouth moving, I talked non-stop but I didn’t know what I was saying. All my years of missing her came pouring out of me.
She put her hand over my mouth, to silence me, telling me to be quiet, telling me she loved me over and over again. I was fine with that. What else would I ever want to hear from her?
I tore off my clothes, ripping a button off my shirt in the process and threw her on the bed. Over and over, getting to know each other’s bodies again. All the places she liked to be touched, coming back to me. Every word out her mouth telling me how much she loved me.
I don’t know what time it was when she fell asleep but the party was long over. A far off echo of crickets filled the quiet canyon. The alcohol had worn off. I stayed up maybe another hour watching her sleep before I fell asleep on top of her, at peace.
“Danny time to wake–up. I need to go home and change. Will you drive me to the airport? My flight leaves at 4:00.” She stood beside the bed dressed in her clothes from the night before. Her long hair hung in loose waves down her back. I pulled her back down to the bed and kissed her.
“You don’t need to go back. There are services that will pack up your things and ship them back.” She looked at me with a smile on her face and confusion in her eyes.
“I’m not coming back Danny. Madrid is my home.” She leaned down to kiss me again. I shook my head away.
“I’m missing something. What was last night?”
“A night I will remember forever.” She ran her finger down my chest, still with the smile on her face.
“You’re staying here Zelda. You told me last night, I don’t know, maybe 100 times that you loved me.” I said with a little more intensity than I meant to use.
“Of course I love you. I’ll always love you. Love doesn’t die.”
“I don’t know what’s going on in your head but you love me now. Forget forever. Now.” I took her finger off my chest and held it in my hand. I needed to get her attention, put some sense in her head.
“Paolo and I are thinking of getting married.”
“Have you lost your mind? Why would you come here and do this if you were only going to go away and marry him?” I didn’t know if it was from the beer the night before or her insane worldview but I felt nauseous.
“Paolo and I have an understanding. Don’t be so American.”
“I am American. How many times have you called me your American boy? By the way Ms. European Princess you grew-up up the street from me. You lived on pizza for half your life. You’re American. How many men do you do this with? Who are you Zelda?” She flinched at the word princess. I was so mad that I didn’t care.
“I don’t do it. It’s Paolo. Well one time when I went to meet Theodora in Barcelona. I have to tell you the story... You’ll think it’s funny.” Why would she think I would think that’s funny?
“It’s only Paolo. You mean that old man you’ve been with for the past five years? The man older than your mother? You’ve always lived in your head. Listen to me Zelda. Hear me. Paolo is an asshole who doesn’t respect you.” I banged the wall behind me with the full force of my fist, scaring her for a moment. Again I didn’t care. “Why did you come back to me?”
“He’s a year younger than my mother. You don’t understand. It’s the way things are done there. I’m sorry. Your mom told me you’re a wild one now. I didn’t think that you would reattach to me. I miss you so much sometimes.” Her eyes filled with tears. I pulled her close to me and hugged her because I fucking loved her.
“You miss me because you’re meant to be with me.” I kissed her forehead and ran my hand through her tangled hair.
“We don’t want the same things. I don’t want to live in Malibu. This isn’t my city. We had our time.” I didn’t want to think about what may or may not have been true about what she had said. All I knew was I didn’t want her to go.
I laid her back to the bed, this time gently and made love to her one last time knowing this was it. If she came back I wouldn’t see her. There was no reason for me to ever go to Spain in my life. There were 47 other countries in Europe if I ever had a desire to travel to that part of the world.
She was quiet as I said over and over again I loved her and didn’t want to be without her.
“Can I tell you about Barcelona? Would that be all right? You’ll like the story Danny.” She asked as we lay curled up against one another finished. Her arm warmly stretched across my chest where it belonged.
“I don’t want to hear about you and another man.”
“It’s not like that. I mean that’s what happened, but that wasn’t the point.”
“Why don’t we just lay next to each other and enjoy our last moments together?”
“No.”
“I missed your one word answers.”
“Thank you. I hadn’t seen Theodora in such a long time. She lives in Paris, which isn’t too far away, but our plans never worked out. Her Dad was having a show in Barcelona. We met for a week at the most beautiful hotel overlooking the Marina. We should... never mind. Every morning we went down to the cafe for breakfast and the waiter.”
“A waiter Zelda? You had sex with a waiter?” I didn’t want to hear another word of her story.
“Shush where was I? He would stand over me as I ate my breakfast, making sure I liked it, checking that my orange juice was topped off, that kind of thing. On the last morning before I was to go back to Madrid a group of German tourists tried to sit with us. They were very aggressive about it. He kicked them out. I took a good look at him a
fter that, he was a dark version of you. He looked exactly like you Danny,” She sat up with a big smile on her face, excited as if she thought I would be too. “But with brown eyes instead of your beautiful blue.”
“Please don’t finish your story.”
“Stop that. I looked at him and I missed you so much. It hurt my heart badly. I hadn’t thought of you in that way in so long.” She sighed and shook her head. “After breakfast I handed him my room card and told him my room number. He was up with me within the hour. He was quick and mannish like a bull, nothing like you in the end. That’s my story.”
“I don’t know why you had to tell me that.” I had an urge to fly into Barcelona, find the waiter, destroy him.
“It felt like a secret. I don’t want to have any secrets with you.” Squeeze my heart a little tighter next time Zelda. I wrapped my arms tightly around her, forcing my mind to find an angle to keep her with me.