by Paloma Meir
My houses on the beach were torn down. The new home was near completion. All I had done over the previous few months was supervise the construction, stay on top of the workers and keep the cost down. That was my skill set, control freak. I looked for other properties but didn’t really care one way or another. My existence was lackluster. I missed Serge as much as Zelda and my daughter that I would never met.
It was Thanksgiving. I headed up to my parents house. Brian and Vanessa would be there with their two kids. I worked up some enthusiasm. I had bought my nephews a pile of gifts that would again make their road trip back up the coast difficult. It had become a joke between us by this point.
I stopped off at the corner liquor store that Serge had told me Zelda had shoplifted her alcohol from all those years ago. I remembered watching her walk by in her pain ignoring her afraid of her anger. She was right I was a coward. Both of them were right. I had nothing to show for my life. Dead time I had in front of me.
I went into the store to buy a bottle of wine for my parents. I looked around trying to remember what went best with turkey. I thought of getting Champagne. You can’t go wrong with that. Who doesn’t like Champagne? A pack of Rollo’s caught my eye. Everything reminded me of her. Had it always been like this? I picked it up. A finger tapped my shoulder. Lift up her favorite candy, summon her devil mother.
“Danny is that you?” I turned around to face Mrs. Moreau.
“Happy Thanksgiving Mrs. Moreau. How are you?” I gave her a hug. Why not? This was as close as I would ever get to Zelda again. I hugged her a beat too long. She pulled away.
“Just great. Planning our trip to visit Zelda in the New Year. Have you seen her baby? I shouldn’t say baby anymore. She’s in her terrible two’s… so cute. Louisa is her name. Isn’t that pretty? Here let me show you some pictures.” She held up her phone and displayed the photo. I took it from her hand and looked at my daughter for the first time. It was like looking in a mirror. She was beautiful which was unexpected because I had a manly face. Zelda’s curves rounded her out. She was dressed all in pink sitting on Zelda’s lap. Big smiles. Louisa looked at something magical beyond the photographer. My eyes watered.
“She’s beautiful Mrs. Moreau. You’re a very lucky woman.”
While she babbled on about whatever she was saying I forwarded the picture to myself.
“I haven’t talked to her in years. Where did she end up?” It was obvious she had never told her parents about us, about anything.
“She lived in Madrid for a long time, but broke up with Louisa’s father awhile ago. A very sad story.” She shook her head slowly for great effect.
Zelda was always imaginative. I would love to know the story she spun the story for their benefit.
“She traveled around for a while and settled down in... You won’t believe it.” She started laughing. Spit it out lady. I laughed along with her.
“Hawaii.” She laughed again. I wondered what about Hawaii was so funny to her.
“Which island?” I laughed thinking she would like that.
“It is a darling house, little cottages. She’s quite happy there. A little too natural maybe...”
I was suddenly grateful for my mother’s lucidity.
“She always seemed like a Maui kind of girl.” I said hoping to get her back on track.
“You think so? Maui is beautiful. Richard and I always stay at the Four Seasons. They have a lovely pool.”
“My favorite island is Oahu.” Please get back on track crazy old woman.
“That’s where Zelda lives, on Oahu, the cutest little town. I can’t ever remember the name but there a sushi restaurant that she likes to take us too. What was it called?” She took her phone back from me and lost her train of thought again. “Pipeline Sushi, She lives right up the street from it. Darling pink house.”
“Mrs. Moreau you are beautiful woman.” I gave her a bear of a hug lifting her off the ground. “You have a great Thanksgiving.” I kissed her cheek and went to the counter and paid, popped a Rollo in my mouth and felt good.
…
I went straight to Goggle Maps on the computer at my parent’s house. Zelda lived down the street from Pipeline. She had never liked the beach but now lived up the street from one of the world’s greatest surfing spots. How had she ended up there? Mrs. Moreau was right. It was funny.
My dad wheeled into the room. He had regained his voice and could walk when necessary but around the house he preferred his mobile chair. They were going to sell their behemoth of a home in the New Year and move into a one- story house in Santa Monica. He had come as far as he was going to in his rehabilitation. The stroke hadn’t affected his sense of humor. We were all thankful for that.
“Hello son, what are you looking at?” I turned around to look at my dad. He was an old man now. The stroke knocked any youthfulness right out of him. He was 74 years old. He had a good report on his health but how much longer could he really live? Why should he live without his granddaughter? Brian’s kids were his life.
I should stay away from Zelda. I couldn’t trust myself with her. My love for her pushed me over the edge. I don’t know anything about that kind of love. But Louisa? She was my baby. I had missed too much of her life already. The beautiful little girl looking at magic, she needed her dad. I was her father. I would never hurt her. I could only make her life better. She needed me. Zelda needed me. They were my family. I would go to them.
She had told me once that I could have come and got her at any time. I could do it now. I love Zelda Moreau. I love my daughter Louisa Goldberg. I would be good to them. Whatever they wanted I would do for them. Zelda wants to live in Tanzania? Fine, done. I would stop bossing her around no matter how much she liked it. That wasn’t protecting her from anything. It stifled her. She couldn’t be strong if I never let her make her own choices.
“Dad I love Zelda. Thanks for being a good guy in my life. I’m skipping dinner.” I stood up and leaned down to give him a hug.
“Bring her home Danny. I want to meet that baby. I dreamt about her when I was in the hospital. Crazy dream.” He wheeled his chair around and followed me out of the room.
“Home is wherever she wants it to be. Love you Dad.” I ran out of the house.
I got in my car to drive straight to the airport. I turned around at the bottom of the hill. Serge. Serge was coming with me. I took his time? I would give it back to him. He wanted to “hang out” with her, fine with me. It would hurt but what important thing didn’t? He picked her up after I tried to knock her down. Let them finish their game, whatever that meant.
The rest of her life would be unicorns and ice cream cones. She loved me. I knew that hadn’t changed. She would come to me like a strong person should. No more trying to drag her around. Everything would be about her and my daughter Louisa.
I parked in front of his parent’s house pumped up with my epiphany. I hadn’t brought a gift. Oh well Christmas was coming up for them. I hoped Carolina would be there. I would bring the Serge’s whole family with me if that were what would make Zelda happy.
I knocked on the door. A wave of nerves spilled over me, screw it. I’m a big strong guy. I wasn’t going to let things go that I loved anymore. Serge was my best friend. I had let him go, pushed him away with my craziness. I had gone through a ton of girls on the beach brushing them off with my lazy lines when I was done with them. Serge never did that. He stayed friends with all of them. He was a good guy, loyal, better than me in every way. I had a million friends growing up. Where had they all gone? I was selfish. Who wanted to be around that?
The door opened.
“What are you doing here?” He looked like an adult in one of Zelda’s suits, but not happy to see me at all.
“Road trip to the airport. I’m giving you back your time. Let’s go.” I gestured my head towards the car.
He started to shut the door. I blocked it with my foot.
“You must have work off until Wednesday. Don’t lawyers stre
tch their vacation days? This is the only time you can do it. You’ll get five days. Is that enough?” Past the anger on his face was a slight smile.
“Are you on drugs? Get out of here Danny. No more dying for love, secret babies. You said you would stay away from her.” He opened the door a tiny bit.
“I am going to stay away from her. I didn’t say anything about Louisa. She’s my daughter. She needs me. If you can’t understand that then I don’t know you at all.” He leaned on the doorjamb and looked interested in what I was saying.
“How are you going to be with Louisa and stay away from Zelda? How do you even know where she is? You said you wouldn’t bother her anymore.” That was the moment I knew he would go with me.
“You’ll help me figure it out on the flight. I’m not going to hurt her Serge. I’m not going after her. I’m not “bringing her home”. I’m bringing you to her. Finish whatever you started.” I felt a little embarrassed and looked down at the ground, “You’re both gone…” I looked up.
“I haven’t seen my parents in a month. I’ll be right back.” He shut the door.
I waited outside for thirty minutes.
“I’m only doing this to make sure that you don’t terrorize her in your quest for Louisa. Okay? Anymore crazy from you and I’ll knock you down and break your knees this time. We good?” He said as we walked to my car.
“I’m not going to fuck this up. I lost it somewhere but I know right from wrong.” I choked up.
“I’m going to be watching you.” He put his messenger bag in the back seat and got in the car. “So are we doing this like Zelda? Or did you book the trip?”
“What do you mean? I didn’t book the trip.” I started my car.
“Go to the airport with very little baggage because you’re planning on buying everything when you get there. Buy a first class ticket and pretend it’s a one- time thing even though that’s the only way you ever fly. She has issues with her money.” He laughed and lowered his seat back, relaxing into it.
“Just like Zelda, first and last time. Don’t you want to know where she is?” I looked over at him as we passed her childhood home. Thank you Mrs. Moreau.
“Surprise me. I’m good going wherever she ended up. She never emailed me.” He flatly stated.
“I didn’t think she would. She needed a break.” I gripped the steering wheel. “I’m sorry Serge.”
“I don’t forgive you. You’re kind of evil. I’ll give you a chance though.”
…
We landed in Oahu at 10:00 PM. Too late to go to her house. We rented a jeep at the airport and drove up the coast to the closest hotel to her house. It was dark as we drove through her little, and I mean little town of Haleiwa on the North Shore. I couldn’t figure out why she chose to live her. She was a city girl. This was backwoods. The town had maybe a dozen storefronts. The closest market was five or six miles past the town on a road built for speeding. Haleiwa was a world away from Paris or Madrid.
We were wiped out by the time we got to our room. We shared it, and it wasn’t a suite. We had ended our Zelda style travel spree. First class was nice though. I was more business or coach person. I could see why she liked it. She liked anything luxurious. I liked that about her. She was like a cat that way. I reminded myself she was human. No more of me putting her on a pedestal. I couldn’t handle it. We would have to buy clothes in the morning.
We woke up at dawn and went for a swim in the ocean. We wore our boxers as swim trunks because the shop in the lobby wasn’t open yet. The ocean was warm. We swam out past the waves to get our first look of where we were staying. Zelda knew what she was doing, lush mountains, forest by the water, beautiful. I could see spending some time here. The water was soft, buoyant, a true blue color. The heavy salted air relaxed us. We floated on our backs looking up at the sky.
We swam back to shore and ran to the Jacuzzi and jumped in for warmth. We hopped out and ran barefoot around the hotel property, waking our bodies up. It was good to have Serge back. I had been alone too much since he left. I had missed my friend. Who else could keep up with us? We ran into the gym, which wasn’t our thing and pumped iron because it was there. The attendant came in and kicked us out for not wearing shoes.
Barefoot we continued running around the hotel. We had to get the something us out. We collapsed by the breakfast cart and carb loaded the day waiting for the shops to open. Our Thanksgiving suits wouldn’t work here for style or temperature. It would be hot. Bring it on. We sat in our boxers on the long sofa looking out the window to the waves below.
“You think Zelda waits around in her underwear for the shops to open when she travels?” I asked as I looked at the clock on the wall.
“That’s the way I like to imagine it. Are you sure you’re good with this? You can’t have a breakdown in front of Louisa.”
“I’m good and if I’m not I can keep it together. I’m manly that way.” I smiled, “Don’t worry Serge.”
“What’s the course of action this morning? Notice how I didn’t say plan? I memorized the Thesaurus entry on that word so I would never have to use it again. It’s the lawyer in me.” He threw his muffin remains at me.
“I don’t know. I hadn’t thought it through. Mahalo.” I held back from throwing my croissant at him.
“Mahalo Dude. The shops open, let’s go buy matching outfits.” And we did because our sense of humor had gotten stuck at twelve years old.
We stood across the highway from her house on Kamehameha Highway. She had her security down. A twelve-foot high white wall surrounded the front of her house with broken glass embedded on the top. An ornately carved wooden door was the only entrance.
“Do we knock? What do you want to do?” He was wearing black flame board shorts and the hotel logo t-shirt, and so was I, “These clothes don’t seem as funny now that we’re here.”
“We look pretty bad. Mahalo.” I looked around and tried to figure out the best way to deal with what I had gotten us into. A gardener’s truck pulled up and began unloading soil and fertilizer. I couldn’t see well from my vantage point but someone opened the door.
“Let’s go.”
“You think we should just walk in?”
“I don’t know. We’ll figure it out as we go along.”
“That’s not the way you do things.”
“Things have changed” I said as we walked across the highway that seemed more reckless than PCH.
“Cool. Where the day takes us.”
…
Her property was a dream. The main house was pink; everything was pink, Victorian style with a wraparound porch. There were two additional cottages, and a storage shed where I saw her from behind. She was wearing a pink bikini and had lost a lot of weight, too thin, and was tan like a native of the island, none of that Malibu spray tan for her. I had forgotten how much she liked to assimilate into where she found herself. In college she had worn sweater sets and plaid skirts with pretend glasses like a 50s schoolgirl.
I couldn’t stop staring at her. Serge poked me and pointed down. There sat Louisa also in a pink bikini with giant white feathered wings on her back. She had a tiny pink shovel in her hand and was digging in a vegetable garden. I kneeled down beside her. She hummed a song, her little white arms slathered in sunscreen unlike her mother. I wanted to pick her up. I couldn’t because it would scare her. I watched her dig. She looked up at me.
“My name is Louisa.” Her voice was clear like her mothers. She had my confidence.
“Hello my name is Danny. What are you planting?” I wiped a tear from my eye.
“Pumpkin seeds so Mommy can make pie for me. Mommy only eats pineapple.” She had pink hearts drawn on her cheeks. She smiled, and the world opened up to me.
“Do you need help?” I asked her and looked up at Serge but he was staring at Zelda’s bottom.
“I don’t have another shovel.” She was skinny with a pouchy little white baby belly. I needed to pick her up and hold her.
“I could
use my hands.” I said to her.
“Please dig a hole here.” She pointed to a spot not far from where she was digging. I dug my hands into the soil. We worked side by side.
“Astrid please come out here right now. Astrid we need to pack. Marco please come now.” Zelda screamed as she walked across the yard towards us, angry and beautiful with pink hearts drawn on her cheeks.
She picked up Louisa in one quick swoop. Astrid came running outside from the main house. She was also wearing a pink bikini and had hand drawn hearts on her cheeks. Marco ran at us from around the corner of the house. He was a good seven inches taller than Serge and me, all muscle with Samoan Tribal tattoos across his chest.
“Astrid start packing right now. We’re leaving.” She was livid. I had never seen her like this before. Good, her anger was correctly directed at me.
“No Zelda no more trains, no more planes.” Astrid shook her head.