by Nicole Sobon
The danger I was in didn’t bother me at the moment. I knew my life was on the line, and possibly both Hayden’s and Colton’s, but I couldn’t let that thought sink into my mind. I refused to give up hope that we’d get out of this alive. All of us. For now, however, both boys were safe, and that was all that mattered.
“So, back to you, kid,” Hayden said, playfully punching Colton in the arm. “Why exactly are you here? And I swear if I find out that you even so much as tried to touch her, I will have to hurt you.”
“Relax, that isn’t the case at all.” Colton was laughing hysterically. “Actually, she almost killed me.”
“How does that answer my question exactly?”
“Well, when Emile was headed here - I’m guessing after she left you back at the other house - she almost ran me over. I should probably say that it wasn’t her fault though, since I was kind of hoping someone would hit me. Thankfully she didn’t.” Colton sighed, pressing his palm against the Pod window. “Anyway, after she almost killed me, I came with her back here.”
“Okay, well that makes no sense. But I have a feeling it’s the only explanation I’m going to be getting for now.” Hayden made sure to emphasize the ‘for now’ part.
“How long are you planning on staying?” Colton asked him.
“Only until I find a way to stop the fusion from happening. I’m thinking possibly three hours max.”
Three hours? I won’t even have the chance to say goodbye. Who knows when the next time I’ll see him will be. I knew Hayden needed to leave to keep me safe, but I wanted to be selfish. I wanted to spend more time with my brother. I didn’t care about the consequences. I wanted to be selfish, just like he was when he brought me back.
“Hey, Colton.” Hayden reached for his arm, holding a hard drive in his other hand. Colton looked up curiously. “A head’s up, I’m going to be performing a hard drive evaluation. These are incredibly painful for Programs. I need you to promise me that you won’t try to stop the evaluation, no matter how much it hurts to watch her scream in agony.”
“Maybe I should go to my room, then. I’m not sure how much more I could take of watching her in pain. The memories are bad enough.”
Hayden reached out his hand to Colton, offering a friendly shake.
“I’m glad she’s found someone that can care for her while I’m gone.”
Colton smiled before heading down the hall towards the guest room.
“Hey, Emile.” My brother smiled at me through the window. “I know we usually perform the evaluations in a chair, but that isn’t possible at the moment. You needed to go into standby mode, and I figured it’d be best to do everything in the Pod. As much as you may want to, please, I beg of you, do not break the window. Please.”
I couldn’t promise him that.
Evaluations had a tendency to force my body to react abnormally. I couldn’t control my actions. Every movement was involuntarily, a reaction to the surge flowing through my core. Each volt sent me lunging forward, desperately trying to break free of the restraints holding me back. In my Pod, I only had a window and a latch restraining me. The chances of me breaking both seemed probable. Extremely probable.
The lights in the room began to shut off. The darkness would bring with it pain, a pain that I dreaded. The darkness brought McVeigh. It brought the horrors of seeing what I’d become, and what I’d lost.
One by one the monitors began to power up. A few of the monitors were running feeds to a camera - a camera that was recording me. The other monitors displayed my readings from Vesta Corp, for both Thirteen and me, along with our current stats.
The memories of Vesta Corp were trying to build a home in my mind, but I couldn’t let them. I needed to push them out. I needed to push Thirteen out as much as possible. I needed to survive. If not for me, then at least for Colton.
I knew what it was like to live as two Programs. I knew that the second she began to kick back in, I’d slowly start to fade away. That was what Charles McVeigh wanted. He wanted to flush me out. He wanted his Program back – not me. He wanted me dead, just like I was supposed to be. So I had to make sure to do everything within my power to stay alive.
If Hayden was successful in stopping the fusion, then I knew that I’d have time. I wasn’t sure how long I'd have, nor did I care, so long as it was enough to save Colton. Hayden would need to leave instructions for me: how to perform hard drive evaluations, ways to monitor Thirteen’s readings, and how to disable Thirteen’s tracker if she were to come through.
I knew that disabling the tracker would be the hard part. And part of me knew that if Hayden had any idea as to how to disable the tracker for good, he would’ve done it by now. But still, I hoped that he had some information, even if it wasn’t much. I was willing to try anything at this point.
“Emile,” Hayden was pressing against the window. His eyes locked onto mine with a hint of panic. His breath created a fog over the glass. “Your readings have spiked a bit. I’m assuming you’ve been listening to our discussions.” I looked into his eyes as tears began rolling down his cheeks. “I hate to leave you like this, especially when I know how much you need me around, but I think you’re in good hands with Colton. I promise that everything you need, I’ll make sure to show him. Just…” He closed his eyes, unable to look at me. “Please, whatever you do, the two of you need to get away from here. Just get as far away as possible.”
He pulled away slowly, forcing himself to let me go. I wasn’t sure when I’d see him again, or if I ever would. I was losing him all over again. I closed my eyes, seeking a moment of peace but finding none. Behind my eyelids, an entirely new nightmare was waiting. This wasn’t another haunting memory. This was a new form of torture.
I walked into the darkness in search of something, or someone, but found neither.
“Hello?” I cried out, hoping that someone would respond.
A voice came from behind me. “Hello, Emile, we’ve been waiting.” But when I looked, there was no one there.
“What do you want with me?” I yelled, my voice echoing in the empty room.
“It’s not you that we want; it’s Thirteen. She belongs to us, and I’m afraid that you’ve taken her away.” The voice was coming from beside me, from a space vacant of a human presence.
I tried to run away, stumbling as I headed for the door. The room filled with laughter as I struggled to escape. Something was pulling me back. I fell to the floor, digging my nails into the ground below me. I tried my best to hold on, but I couldn’t. I was losing.
“Just give up, dear,” a voice whispered in my ear. “You’ll never win.”
My eyes shot open. Colton was staring down at me as the Pod door unlatched. They wanted me dead so that they could get Thirteen back. They had turned it into a game. There was no way of telling how far they’d go to ensure they got what they wanted. All I knew was that they intended to win.
19 RECOVERY
I looked around the room, noting that Hayden had already left. It only felt as though I was under for only a few minutes. Not hours. The restraints on my arms and ankles released, allowing me to exit the Pod. “How long ago did he leave?” I whispered, turning to face Colton directly.
“He’s been gone a few hours now, but he said to give you this when you woke up.” Colton pulled an envelope from his jean pocket, handing it to me. “He also left me a list of instructions on how to perform the hard drive evaluations and even how to monitor you while you’re in the Pod.”
I ran my finger under the seal of the envelope, gently, making sure not to tear it entirely. When I pulled out the letter I was surprised at what he’d written:
Emile,
Please, be safe.
Love,
Hayden
Was that all he genuinely had to say to me? To please be safe?
Colton saw the look on my face and placed his hand on my shoulder to try and comfort me. “You know that’s not all he wanted to say; it’s just that was all he could say. He d
idn’t want to say goodbye to you, Emile.”
I knew he was right.
Hayden had every intention of seeing me again once this was all over. He truly believed our family would be reunited in due time. I had to accept his hope, to admit there was a chance, although currently it seemed rather slim. They wanted their Program back. They were going to make sure they got it back no matter the cost.
No matter the cost – that meant I could be endangering Colton more than I’d realized. Would they use him as bait in order to find me? Would they harm him when it was me that they wanted dead? I knew my family was in danger, Hayden helped me escape. There was no way they’d be safe now. But would they seriously hurt Colton, too? The answer was easy. They would.
“Colton,” I whispered, fidgeting with my hands. “I need you to promise me something.”
He looked alarmed, but nodded for me to continue.
“If they come for me, I need you to run. Get as far away from here as you can.”
“I can’t leave you here.” He was shaking his head, his voice gently cracking.
“You’ll need to. There’s no other way to ensure your safety if you don’t.”
“I can’t leave you alone. I promised Hayden I’d stay with you until we were both safe. I’m not breaking my promise, Emile.” Of course my brother would make him promise something like that. But Hayden wasn’t here, I was, and I needed Colton to stay safe. He had a life to live. I’d already had my chance to experience all that life had to offer, but it was taken away from me. I wasn’t going to force the same fate on Colton.
“They aren’t coming for me. They are coming for Thirteen. They feel as though I’ve stolen her from them and they won’t stop until they get her back.”
“But how…” Colton stopped short, his eyes widening in fear. “They’d need to kill you to get her back. No, no, they can’t – you have to keep fighting!”
“And I will, but I need to keep you safe, too.”
The room fell silent. Colton took a seat on the couch, staring blankly at the wall before him. I walked over to the couch and sat next to him, placing my left hand on his arm.
“Do you mind if I read over the instructions that Hayden left?” He nodded and slipped them into my hand. The instructions were long and incredibly detailed. Every inch of the page was covered in notes. Notes that would protect the two of us, I hoped.
Make sure she spends eight hours in the Pod, daily – it’s not an option. Also, make sure to study her readings while she is under. If you see even the slightest spike, take note. Make sure to watch her to see how she reacts, try to figure out what she’s reacting to. It’s crucial that you study her.
Great, now he’d be keeping a close eye on me.
“Thanks, Hayden,” I muttered, annoyed.
Colton laughed, turning to look at me. “He means well, you know that.”
“I know, but really – ‘it’s crucial that you study her’? Am I some sort of experiment now?” I said as both of us laughed in response.
It was nice to laugh, to let go, something that seemed out of place given the dilemma we were in. No matter how hard things got, it was vital to remember to live. I had to make sure that Colton lived.
“We can’t leave, but there has to be something to do for fun around here.”
“Did Hayden leave anything here besides the essentials? Board games, video games, anything?” Colton went to check the hallway closet, the one place I hadn’t bothered to check since we got here. “Bingo! Found some board games!” he yelled, stumbling back into the living room with the games in tow.
“What’d you find?” I tried peeking to see what he grabbed, but he made sure to hide the cover of the boxes until he sat down. “Let’s see. There is Battleship, Connect Four, and Monopoly. Better than sitting around bored, right?”
Colton opened Connect Four, setting it up on the floor in front of the couch. “You know, this kind of reminds me of my sister.” There was a clear sadness in his voice. Even though he’d said his goodbyes, it was obvious he still wasn’t over her being taken away. “We used to have game nights at home, and I’d always let her win.” He chuckled, a smile overcoming his face. “Anyway, let’s play.”
Part of me felt that he was happy to know his sister survived the car accident, even though he’d never get to see her again. He wanted her to remain pure and innocent; he wanted to remember her as his sister. Knowing that she was gone, and there was no chance she’d be back was comforting in a strange way. At least he knew she wouldn’t have to go through the hell he’d seen me go through daily. She was spared. She still had a life to live, and that was worth the pain to him.
“I think you should go first.” I shoved him playfully. “Fine, I’m red then.” He smiled, removing all the red chips from the box before handing me the yellow ones.
We sat there for hours playing game after game – Battleship, Connect Four, and Monopoly. He won most of the time, but I didn’t care. I was just happy to see him smiling. The news stayed on in the background, though we kept it muted. They were still airing the news of my death, something neither of us cared too much to see or hear about, but it was all that seemed to be on.
“You know, I kind of feel famous.” I laughed, trying to keep the mood light. “I mean they’ve been reporting my death all day. They only do that with celebrities, typically.”
“In that case, may I have your autograph, Miss Emile Reed?” Colton laughed, handing me a pretend piece of paper and pen. I pushed his hands back, forgetting to be gentle. I could see him grabbing his right wrist as if in pain.
“I’m sorry, did I hurt you? Let me see.” But he wouldn’t let me look.
“No, it’s alright. I know you didn’t mean it. I’m sure it’ll be fine soon.” Colton tried his best to hide the pain. I wanted to scream. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. No matter how human I might have felt, I needed to remember that I was stronger than he was. If I wasn’t careful I could easily hurt him.
Something I learned the hard way.
Keep your hands to yourself, a voice whispered.
“Did you say something?”
Colton looked at me as though I was crazy. “No, why? Did you hear something?”
“Yes.” I stopped to meet his piercing stare. “I think she’s making her way back.” Program Thirteen was pushing her way through again. She was trying to recover the shell that was taken from her. “It’s her.”
As the words left my lips, I could see Colton staring at me with worry clear on his face.
“Hayden left me instructions on what to do if she came back,” he said, taking the paper from my hand. “Look, right here.” He pointed.
If Program Thirteen starts making an appearance, whether it is her voice or her actions, send Emile to the Pod immediately! You will then need to perform a hard drive evaluation in order to study both Emile and Thirteen’s readings. If Thirteen’s readings appear higher than Emile’s, you will need to attempt to deactivate the Program. This will cause a lot of pain for Emile, and it won’t be easy to watch, but it’s something you’ll need to do.
On top of the laptop by the Pod is a disc labeled “Deactivation.” Insert said disc into the nearest PC and follow the instructions. The entire process should take no longer than an hour. I can’t promise that it’ll erase Thirteen completely, but it should hide her Program for now – allowing you both more time.
“Let’s do it, then,” I said, pushing off the couch and walking over to the Pod.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Colton asked hesitantly.
“None of this is what I want, but I don’t really have a choice.”
Colton nodded in agreement, walking over towards the laptop. As promised, the disc lay right there. He sighed while removing it from the jewel case and then inserted it into the nearest PC. “Here we go, I guess. Are you ready?”
I opened the Pod door and climbed in, the latch securing behind me. I was as ready as I would ever be.
“Alr
ight, here goes nothing.” Colton pressed the Initiate Deactivation button and the process began.
I could feel Program Thirteen fighting back, screaming in pain. Stop, please, her voice pleaded. I knew the pain she felt, but I couldn’t help her. Not when her existence would kill me and Colton.
My arms were trying to force their way out of the restraints. Thirteen had made her way through enough to control the movements of my body. How close was she to escaping? Did that mean her tracker was already active? I began to panic. The process needed to go faster. I could still feel her presence, and I knew that the longer she stayed, the more danger we were in.
Why are you doing this to me? she pleaded.
But it wasn’t just her in pain; every surge sent to her had to go through me first.
I closed my eyes, fighting my urge to scream.
She was standing before me. Her body, composed of computer parts, was falling apart. She reached out her hand, trying to get me to help her, but I couldn’t. “I’m sorry,” I whispered as she began to fall apart, piece by piece.
“You can never delete me from your core,” she whispered before her voice faded.
And I knew that we couldn’t, but if we tried to deactivate her program it would buy us time. We’d have time to escape, to get farther away from Vesta Corp. Eventually she’d find her way back through, and I knew that, but for now, she’d be a faint voice in the background. Nothing more. Nothing less.
I opened my eyes, surprised to see that the program was still running. “There are about ten minutes left, Emile. Hang in there.”
My body twitched as a response to the pain it was experiencing. The volts were unforgiving, slowly traveling through every inch of my body. But I felt alive, a feeling that made the pain worth the while.