“He doesn’t want me,” Harley said, and she swallowed. “He even said so. He said it couldn’t get any worse.”
“He didn’t mean you. He meant the situation.” Everything was overwhelming to Harley. She was a child—she’d never had to deal with anything like this.
Sonya, how could you dump this in my lap? In Nathan’s?
How could you do this to your daughter?
“Yeah. I know what the situation is—he’s stuck with a kid he doesn’t want.”
“That’s not true.” At least, she hoped it wasn’t. She tightened her arms around Harley. “You’re upset and shocked to find this out. So is he.”
“He said it was as bad as it could get.”
“The restaurant is his business,” Emma said, leaning back and grasping Harley’s shoulders. She had to make the girl understand. “You...we all made a scene. Disturbed his customers. That’s what he was talking about. And then his brother...” His brother had been an ass.
“He was a jerk,” Harley said passionately.
“Yeah, he was. But sometimes, when people are shocked or surprised, they say things they don’t really mean.”
“I don’t care,” Harley said sullenly. “I don’t want him to be my uncle.”
“You can’t pick your relatives,” Emma said, trying to sound calm. “He is your uncle and you can’t change that.” She thought briefly of her own mother. “But you have to learn to deal with him. Be civil, at least.”
“He thought you were my mom. He thought my mom was pulling a scam.”
“We know that’s not true.”
The girl sniffled and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her jacket. Emma dug in her pocket for a tissue and tried to hand it to Harley.
The girl jerked her arm away. “Leave me alone. And go away. I don’t want to live with you anymore.”
“I understand why you wouldn’t,” Emma said, her heart breaking into tiny pieces. “But you don’t have any other choice, sweetie.”
“And don’t call me ‘sweetie,’” Harley yelled. “I’m not your sweetie. I’m not anyone’s sweetie.”
How had everything gone so terribly wrong? She’d been trying to protect Harley. Do the right thing. And now Harley was devastated. Nathan must be, too. And Emma?
Every inch of her body throbbed with remorse. She’d give everything she had to go back in time and handle this better. Do it in a way that wouldn’t hurt Harley.
She had no idea of what that would be. She, the social worker who handled everything calmly. When it was a child she loved, she was a complete disaster.
Speaking of which... “Tell me something, Harley. How did you find out about Nathan?”
“I watched the DVD my mom left for me.”
“That was at the back of a drawer. You searched my desk?”
“It had my name on it,” Harley said defiantly. But she didn’t look at Emma. “You had no right to hide it from me.”
This wasn’t the time for a discussion about snooping. “I had a lot of reasons to hide it,” Emma said quietly. “The biggest one was protecting you. I wasn’t going to tell you about Nathan until I told him.”
“You should have told me first!”
“That wouldn’t have been fair to him,” she answered. “How would you have felt if I took you to meet him without telling you who he was? You’d have been upset and angry, and you’d have had every right to be.”
But that’s exactly what she and Nathan had been planning. Heat burned in her cheeks. Could she have handled this any worse?
Instead of answering, Harley was stone-faced. Taking a deep breath, Emma continued, “I wouldn’t do that to Nathan, either. So, no, I didn’t tell you first. I needed to talk to him alone.
“Think about how you feel right now. Wouldn’t it have been easier if I’d told you myself when we were both calm?” Although Nathan hadn’t exactly been calm, and neither had she. “Answered your questions? Helped you figure out what you wanted to do?”
“You don’t care what I want. Mom didn’t, either, or she would have told me about him. I asked her all the time, but she never said a thing.” Harley clenched her fists as her voice grew louder. “Now I’ll have to live with him and I’ll never see my friends again. I’ll have to go to a new school. They’re probably all rich snobs and no one will want to be my friend. I hate you! I hate my mom, too.”
Harley tensed, and Emma grabbed her before she could run again. “Harley, stop it. You’re not moving anywhere yet. Maybe not for a long time. Maybe never. Do you really think I’d just drop you off at Nathan’s house and drive away?”
She held Harley’s shoulders, forcing her to meet her gaze. Harley sniffled and turned her head to rub her face on her shoulder. “How would I know?” she finally said, her voice sullen.
“I think you do,” Emma answered. “I love you, Harley. I’m not going to do anything to hurt you.”
Harley lifted her head to meet her gaze. “You already have.”
Emma’s heart wrenched. God! Kids knew exactly where to stick the knife in and twist it. “I’m sorry this happened.” She didn’t add that it wouldn’t have if Harley hadn’t snooped. Harley was smart enough to realize that herself. “Let’s go back to the restaurant. It’s cold out here.”
Harley slowly retraced her steps along the sidewalk, shoving her hands into the pockets of her hoodie and hunching her shoulders. They passed a Baskin-Robbins that was open, but only a couple of people sat in the pink plastic chairs eating ice cream. A hairdresser, a Realtor’s office and a hardware store were all closed.
The neighborhood looked like a small town in the middle of the city. A nice place for kids to grow up. Was Emma selfish for wanting Harley to grow up with her instead? She caught up with Harley as they crossed a side street, and she noticed a grocery store that was still open. Happy Foods. That sounded small town, too.
Two people stood on the sidewalk in front of Mama’s Place. Nathan and Frankie. Frankie was wearing a T-shirt, and she had her arms wrapped around herself. Nathan looked frozen in place as he watched the two of them make their way back to the restaurant.
Harley noticed them, too. She stiffened, and her steps slowed. Emma put her arm around Harley’s shoulders, but the girl shook her off.
Emma wanted to let Harley know she wasn’t alone. But the hurt and angry child didn’t want comfort. Emma understood that.
Harley had trusted her, and she’d let the girl down.
It would take time to regain her trust. In the meantime, all Emma could do was show up and love her.
“What are they doing out here?” Harley muttered.
“They want to make sure you’re okay,” Emma answered.
She hunched her shoulders higher. “I can take care of myself.”
“Everyone needs help once in a while.”
Harley scowled. “I don’t need them. I don’t need you, either. I’ll be fine on my own.”
Oh, God. What was Harley thinking about? “You’re not going to be on your own, Harley,” she forced herself to say calmly. “You’ll still be living with me. You’ll still go to school, still go to FreeZone afterward. Everything will be the same while we figure this out.”
“Who says I want to figure anything out?”
“You can’t ignore the fact that you have a father now. Uncles. An aunt.”
“What?” Harley stopped and whirled around to face her. “You think I’m supposed to, like, love them or something? Just because you
tell me they’re my family?”
She made it sound like a dirty word. “Of course not. They’ll have to earn that. But you have to at least make an effort to get to know them.”
“I already know Frankie.”
“And you like her,” Emma replied.
Harley kicked a stone. “That was before.”
“You think she’s changed because now she knows you’re related to her?”
“She’ll probably try to tell me what to do. Think she can boss me around.”
“Maybe you should give her a chance.”
“I don’t want to go to FreeZone anymore,” she muttered. “Everything will be different.”
Was Harley afraid her relationship with her friends would change if they knew Frankie was her aunt? “You don’t have to tell anyone that you’re related,” Emma said.
“You think I should lie to them? Just like you lied to me?”
“I think you should take some time to sort out your feelings before you do anything. You’re tired. Things will look different in the morning.”
“Leave me alone!” Harley cried. “You’re talking to me like a social worker, just like you did when you first came to our place. Mom didn’t like it. She said you talked down to her.”
“No, I didn’t. I talked that way because I am a social worker.” Emma’s head pounded, and she struggled to maintain her frazzled composure. She couldn’t lose it now. She’d been calm so far. Tried to handle the whole ugly mess in a rational way. But she’d had no idea being a parent was this hard. This painful. “And I was seeing you and your mom for my job. It wasn’t until later that we became friends.”
“Whatever.”
They were approaching the restaurant, and Nathan and Frankie hurried toward them. “You must be cold,” Nathan said, leaning on his cane. “Come inside and get warm.”
“I don’t want to go back into your stupid restaurant. I want to go...” Harley stopped abruptly and kicked the side of the building.
“You want to go home, and I do, too,” Emma said. She glanced at Nathan, and he nodded. His posture relaxed. “We’ll deal with all this another time.” She touched Harley’s shoulder. “We need to go home.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
HARLEY DIDN’T SAY a word on the drive home. Streetlights illuminated the tear tracks down her face. Every few minutes, in the silence of the car, Emma heard her breath hitch.
When they got home, Harley went straight to her room and locked the door. Emma stood on the other side, one hand pressed to the wood.
“Harley, let’s talk about this.” The only answer was muffled sobs. “Unlock the door, Harley. Please.”
“Go away.” Harley’s voice was thick and indistinct.
Emma’s throat swelled. How did parents do this? How did they handle heartbreak in their children? How did they even know where to begin?
She’d always looked at parenting clinically—how was the mother’s temperament? The father’s? What was the child’s emotional health? Did they interact well?
Everything was different now. When your child was hurt, there was only helplessness. The pain of listening to her cry on the other side of a locked door.
She slid down the wall and rested her head on her knees. Sooner or later, Harley would come out.
Emma woke in the middle of the night with a crick in her neck and an aching back. She stood up and tried Harley’s door. It was unlocked.
Easing it open, she peered into the dark room. Light from the hall spilled over Harley’s still form. She’d changed into her pajamas, and her red hair clashed with the orange T-shirt. She’d kicked off the blanket, and her knees were drawn up to her chest.
She looked so vulnerable. So defenseless. Emma wanted to gather her against her chest and soothe all her pain away.
Instead, she drew the sheet and blankets up to Harley’s chin, pressed a kiss to her hair and tiptoed out. Tomorrow, they’d both be calmer. They would deal with this in the morning.
* * *
OR NOT.
Emma sat at her desk at work and rolled her shoulders. They still hurt from her night on the floor. A headache pounded behind her eyes, and she’d drunk so much coffee her hands shook.
Harley hadn’t spoken a word that morning. Every overture from Emma, every question, had been ignored. Harley had eaten breakfast, gotten dressed and waited for Emma to drive her to school. When they arrived at the building, she’d slammed the car door and walked away without looking back.
If one of her clients was facing this problem, Emma would have all kinds of advice. But the stew of emotions roiling in her stomach made it impossible to think logically.
She stared at the report she’d been writing and realized it made no sense. Deleting everything, she closed her eyes and tried to focus on the Jeffry family.
The phone rang and she reached for it eagerly. “Hello?” School was just getting out. Maybe Harley was calling.
“Ms. Sloan, this is David Sanders. How are you doing?”
“David. I’m fine,” she said, trying to mask her disappointment. “You?”
The lawyer let the moment of silence stretch too long. Emma gripped the phone more tightly. “What’s wrong?”
“Maybe nothing.” He sighed. “But I...liked you the moment I met you, Emma. And I’m concerned.”
“How come?”
“You’ll be spending a lot of time with Nathan Devereux. I came across some information you need to know.”
She frowned. “What’s going on, David?”
Another pause. “I worked for the Public Defender’s office in Cook County for three years before I started my practice. I still know a lot of people in the court system. I called a few of them and asked about Nathan.”
“Why would you do that?” Emma didn’t know whether to be angry or nervous about what he might have found.
“You already knew Devereux and you seemed...ah, positive toward him. I thought maybe you were...well. I wanted to make sure he was...trustworthy.”
Suddenly chilled, she said, “And?”
“I’m not sure he is. Two of my friends have heard rumors. Something about problematic business arrangements. Relationships with inappropriate individuals. That the FBI was involved.”
One of Frankie’s brothers was an FBI agent. “I don’t believe that,” she said. Nathan might not be excited about being a father, but that didn’t mean he was a crook.
“I have no proof,” David said carefully. “I just thought you should know.”
“So you’re trashing his reputation based on rumors and hearsay.”
“No. Just telling you to be careful.”
“I’m meeting with him because he’s Harley’s father. It’s not like I’m dating him.” After all that had happened, that ship had sailed. She still regretted that it had.
“Yes. Well. Just wanted to let you know what I’d heard.”
David was trying to watch out for her. Give her a heads-up. She should be grateful. But instead she was irritated. “Thanks for calling, David,” she said a little too sharply. “I appreciate the effort you’ve made.”
He sighed. “I’ve pissed you off. I’m sorry. I was just concerned.”
“I know.” Her voice softened. “Thank you.”
“Keep me posted,” he said, and she heard the resignation in his voice.
“I will. Bye.”
She ended the call and dropped her phone into her bag. She didn’t believe Nathan would be involved in anythi
ng illegal.
But why were people in the court system talking about him?
She needed to give him a chance to respond to David’s insinuations. She reached for the phone. Hesitated.
No. She needed to talk to him in person. She needed to see his eyes when she asked her questions.
A half hour later, she walked through the front door of Mama’s Place. It was midafternoon and the dining room was dimly lit. But lights were on in the kitchen, and she heard the clank of large pots and voices behind the swinging door.
She pushed the door open and poked her head inside. Marco stood at a stove on the left side of the kitchen, stirring something that smelled of garlic and butter. There was no sign of Nathan.
“Excuse me,” she said, stepping all the way in. “Is Nathan here?”
Marco glanced at her, and the flash of recognition was followed by what looked like shame. He jerked his head toward the back of the kitchen. “In his office.”
“Thanks.” She skirted the work area without looking at him again. But she felt his gaze follow her all the way to Nathan’s office.
The shades over the window looking into the kitchen were closed, but the door was ajar. She knocked once.
“What?” he barked.
She poked her head in the door to see him seated behind his desk, scowling at the door. “Looks like I caught you at a bad time.”
“Emma.” He jumped to his feet. “Sorry. I thought it was... Anyway, come in.” He held a chair for her, then pushed the door closed.
He sank back into his desk chair and studied her for a moment. She tucked her hair behind her ear and smoothed the tangled waves. It was windy outside, and she knew her hair was wild. Not the look she wanted for a serious conversation. “How are you doing?” she asked finally.
“Tired as hell,” he said, and the weariness showed on his face. “After you and Harley left last night, I called my brother Patrick and asked him to come over. Everyone else knew what was going on. Only fair that he did, too.”
“How did that go?”
“Mr. FBI agent wanted to do a background check on Sonya and rerun the paternity test.”
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