Rosie glanced at me at the same moment I looked at her. She smiled. She looked incredible - relaxed, happy and beautiful.
As a heart surgeon I should have known better, but it felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest. I could hardly breathe.
Then we were being ushered inside the room and the processional music started. I took Kirsty’s arm once more and walked her down to where Rick was standing with Graham. Lucy, Eilidh and Rosie followed us. Sam and Robbie stood up as we came in. They grinned at me. I think Sam actually winked. I couldn’t have felt more nervous if it had been me getting married. My normally very steady hands were shaking and I thought my legs might give way. I was glad to be able to hang on to Kirsty. She seemed to be steadying me rather than the other way around, and she squeezed my arm as we walked. The music faded and the registrar smiled. I kissed Kirsty and passed her hand into Rick’s outstretched one. Then I gratefully sat down beside Sam and Robbie.
As Rick and Kirsty exchanged their vows, I watched Rosie. She was standing beside Kirsty, looking intently from her to Rick. She looked gorgeous in a shade of blue that suited her perfectly. She wore a circle of yellow flowers in her new, short hair. I looked again, yes, she definitely had hair.
Sam was right when she’d said how well Rosie was looking. She caught me gazing at her mother, squeezed my hand and smiled.
As I watched Rosie, she lifted her hand to her face and seemed to wipe away a tear. It was the bit in the ceremony where the rings were being exchanged.
I patted my pocket where I had Rosie’s ring. She knew it had been given to me when she was in hospital, but neither of us had broached the subject of its return. If all went according to plan - I swallowed hard and tried not to think about it.
The ceremony was over and there was a flurry of handshakes, kisses and congratulations for the newly-weds. Sam nudged me in the back and reminded me it was time to go and speak to Rosie. I told her I wasn’t sure if I could speak and, even if I could, that I would make any sense. But Sam wasn’t having any of it. She just shoved me harder in Rosie’s direction.
I took a deep breath and went over. She had her back to me and was speaking to Robbie. As I arrived, Sam swooped on Robbie and led him away.
“Hello, Rosie.” My voice sounded hoarse.
She turned and smiled. “Hello, Tom, and well done. You did the giving away beautifully.”
“Thanks. It was a lovely ceremony wasn’t it? Kirsty looks lovely. So do you – your outfit is - lovely. Sorry, I seem to be experiencing adjective failure.”
Rosie laughed. “Yes, it’s all - lovely.” She laughed again. I prayed for rescue.
Rick called for silence. He was standing with his arm round Kirsty’s shoulder. “Thanks, everyone, for coming. Mrs Montgomery and I…” he paused as we all laughed. “My wife…” he paused again to kiss Kirsty. “My wife and I suggest that everybody goes and relaxes for a while. And we’ll all meet in the bar for pre-dinner drinks at around six.”
On that cue, Sam went over to Eilidh and Robbie. She spoke to them and the three of them left the room. They waved to me and Rosie. Then Lucy and Graham put down their glasses and they too gave us a wave and left.
Rick called over to me. “Tom, can I have a word, mate?”
“Sure,” I called back to him. “Excuse me a moment,” I said to Rosie.
The plan was now in action.
Rosie
Chapter Forty Three
On the morning of Kirsty’s wedding, I awoke with a mixture of dread and anticipation. I was excited for Kirsty and Rick of course. But I was even more excited about seeing Tom and spending a day in his company.
I’d decided to make the most of it, to enjoy the present. I knew that in the coming week we’d meet to talk over our relationship, its past and its future. The dread I felt was that I’d pick up some signal from Tom that he no longer wanted to be with me. I knew I might soon have to face that possibility, but I wanted to remain ignorant for one more day, for this special day in particular.
Lucy, Kirsty and Eilidh joined Sam and me in for a room-service lunch. But by then I was so nervous, I hardly ate any of the sandwiches that the others tucked into.
I looked at myself in the long, wall mirror before going downstairs to the wedding. It was ages since I’d worn makeup or anything remotely smart. I touched my hair. Even although it was still very short, it remained a lovely novelty to have any at all. I twisted right and left to see myself from various angles.
“You’re looking great, Mum,” Sam said, smiling. “You suit the short hair – it makes you look really young. Dad’s going to be well impressed!”
“I hope so,” I said, trying not to sound as scared as I felt.
Once we were downstairs we didn’t have long to wait before Tom and Kirsty appeared.
I couldn’t look at Tom at first, but once I’d greeted Kirsty I allowed myself a glance. I took a breath and smiled at him. He smiled back. He looked really good in a new, navy blue suit, pale blue shirt and patterned, silk tie. My heart did several somersaults.
The ceremony was very simple and moving. I tried to focus only on what was happening now, in front of me. When I heard the bit about entering into a contract for life and watched the exchange of rings, I couldn’t help crying a little. I remembered that Tom had not yet returned my wedding ring, but quickly suppressed the thought that perhaps this was significant.
After the ceremony, Tom came to speak to me. He seemed nervous. I was hoping to have him to myself for a little while, but then Rick called him away and the two of them left, deep in conversation.
I went and joined Kirsty, who also appeared to be on her own. She looked stunning. Her long, tight- fitting, cream silk gown was perfect for her figure and her colouring. Lucy had put Kirsty’s hair up and woven little yellow rosebuds into it. They set off her auburn hair beautifully.
“So, Mrs Montgomery,” I said, hugging her. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling happy, very happy.” Kirsty answered. “Come on, let’s go and sit in the lounge.”
Once we were sitting down, I asked Kirsty where everyone had disappeared to.
“Graham and Lucy are going to spend the rest of the afternoon with their boys. And Sam is taking Robbie and Eilidh round the university. I don’t know what Rick’s got Tom doing – probably planning some daft surprise for me.” She laughed - before adding, “Tom looked very handsome don’t you think? Smart suit and that tie – very nice.”
“Yes, they’re new, I’ve not seen them before and yes, he was looking good.”
Kirsty and I chatted some more, and then she said she thought she’d go up to her room and lie down for a little while, if I didn’t mind. “I couldn’t sleep last night. I was so excited. I think it’s catching up with me now.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said. “On you go – get some rest.”
I was wondering what to do with myself for the next hour or so when Rick came back and sat beside me. I told him he’d just missed Kirsty.
“It was you I wanted,” he said. “I wonder if I could ask you a favour? Only, everyone else seems to have disappeared.”
“Surely,” I said.
“Could you go to the cottage and check the heating’s on. My mate told me it would be, but if it’s not, the place will be pretty cold. And could you check that the food shopping I ordered has been delivered and that the champagne is chilling. Just give the place the once over for me. I want everything to be perfect for Kirsty when we get there tonight. I mentioned to Tom that I was going to ask you and he said to take his car.” He reached into his pocket and gave me Tom’s car keys.
“Okay – you old romantic you,” I said. “Where is Tom anyway?”
“Oh,” he tapped his finger to the side of his nose, “he’s off preparing - something else.”
“Kirsty’s a lucky woman,” I laughed. “Maybe I should get changed first, though.”
“No, no, you’ll not have time – not if you want to be back and all dressed up and ready
for six o’clock. Tom’s got a jacket in the car. I remember seeing it earlier. Put that on if you’re cold. Go, while it’s still light. And here – I’ve written down directions for you – head back out of town – the way you came in. The keys are on the shelf in the shed.” He seemed on edge, desperate to send me on my way. I put it down to the adrenalin of the day.
“Right then,” I said, smiling. “I’d better go. See you later.”
“Yes, see you,” Rick said, seeming to give a huge sigh of relief as I walked away.
It was strange to be in Tom’s car. It was months since I’d been in it. And sure enough, his old, winter jacket was lying on the back seat. I put it on. It smelt of him. I rubbed the sleeve against my face, and sat for a minute, enjoying how good it felt to be close to him, even in this small way.
I found the cottage easily. The gate was open and I turned the car into the driveway at the side. I retrieved the house keys and let myself in.
The heating was on. The cottage felt cosy as soon as I stepped in. I went into the kitchen and checked the fridge. It was full and the champagne was well chilled. It was pink champagne. I knew Kirsty would be impressed by Rick’s choice of this most romantic drink. There was a fragrant bunch of yellow and lilac freesias in a little blue vase on the table. I breathed in their gorgeous scent.
Then I went through to the bedroom and I switched on the bedside lamp. It was a plain room – white-walled and with sheepskin rugs on the stripped wooden floor. I closed the heavy, dark blue velvet curtains. The bed was enormous and covered with a thick white quilt. On the dressing table there was a crystal vase full of the most beautiful red roses. “Kirsty– you’re a lucky woman,” I said to myself.
I peeped into the bathroom. I loved the bath with its silver claw feet. There were bottles of jewel-coloured bubble bath on the windowsill and thick, white towels on the rail. There were candles on the shelf above the bath and yet more flowers – in a chipped, white enamel pail – but made no less beautiful by their unorthodox container. This place was perfect for a wedding night.
I walked through to the living room. I did think it odd that the lamps in there were already on and the fire was lit – the logs smelt wonderful. And then there were the flowers – in what appeared to be a wastepaper bin. Someone must have been into the cottage recently. Maybe Rick’s friend, the cottage’s owner, had decided to call in himself, to ensure a warm welcome for the newly weds and would, presumably be coming back to keep an eye on the fire. I shrugged to myself – whatever the explanation – everything was ready and I knew I should head back.
But I decided to sit down for a moment to enjoy the fire. I sat in the armchair nearest the hearth, facing the door. I slipped out of Tom’s jacket and gazed into the flames. I held the jacket to my face. I missed him so much.
It was getting dark and I was just thinking I’d really better move when a voice said, “Hello, Rosie.”
I jumped.
Tom was standing in the doorway.
Tom
Chapter Forty Four
The taxi was already waiting when Rick called me over. We dashed round to my car for the bags and I flung them into the taxi and jumped in.
“Good luck, mate.” Rick said as he slammed the door shut.
As soon as I got to the cottage, I stowed the bags in the bedroom wardrobe and then set to work. I took off my jacket and tie but decided there was no time to get properly changed.
The fire was first and, I’m proud to say, it took first time and was burning away nicely within half an hour.
Next I prepared the vegetables to accompany the main course of that night’s meal. I had all my instructions from Andy and Sheena. Tonight’s dish was beef in designer beer, one of Delia’s finest recipes. I’d cooked it at home and it would just need to be reheated in the oven. I’d learned to cook this dish on one of my cookery lessons at Sheena’s house. She’d suggested teaching me when I took her out for a thank you meal after the coq au vin recipe proved so successful. Andy had offered to help me too. So, in order not to offend either of them, I suggested they both taught me. I found that I really enjoyed cooking. Then I found that Andy and Sheena really enjoyed each other’s company, and I began to feel like a bit of a gooseberry on lesson nights. But, fortunately for me, they didn’t let their personal feelings get in the way of their teaching commitment.
I’d just finished doing the vegetables and hidden them away, when I saw the car approaching. I let myself out the back door and went and hid behind the shed.I heard rummaging from inside the shed and a little while later I saw the bedroom light go on. I crept up to the back door and listened. It was quiet.
I slipped back into the kitchen and, very quietly, switched on the oven and put the casserole dish into it. Then I crept down the hall to the living room door.
Rosie was sitting gazing into the fire. She was holding my old jacket. She looked breathtakingly beautiful. My heart was doing the hammering thing again.
“Hello, Rosie.”
She jumped. “Tom!” she said, rubbing a hand across her face. “What are you doing here?”
“Long story - are you crying?” I moved towards her.
She put my jacket down and stood up, shaking her head. “No, I’m fine.” She put up a hand to hold me off.
“Please, Rosie, tell me what’s wrong. Don’t shut me out – please.”
“Look, we better be getting back. How did you get here anyway? I’ve got your car.”
We faced each other across the room.
“Sit down, Rosie, please, just sit down. I’ve got some explaining to do. I need to talk, even if you don’t.”
She looked at me, scared and sad. I so wanted to hold her, to comfort her. I took another step towards her. Again she gestured to keep me away. She really didn’t want me to touch her. I couldn’t bear it.
“Rosie, please.”
“No,” she spoke very quietly and shook her head. “Please, don’t. Say what it is you have to say - and then we can get back to our friends’ wedding.”
“Right,” I said, sitting on one of the sofas. “If that’s the way you want it.”
Rosie shrugged and returned to the fireside chair.
“But if we go back to the hotel now,” I said, “our family and friends might never speak to us again.”
“What – what do you mean?”
“Well – let’s just say – you’re not really here to check out the place for Rick. We - that is me and everyone who cares about us – we sort of planned it – for you and me to be here together – so we could talk.”
Rosie frowned. “So this is all some kind of trick, to force me to be here with you, and everyone – except me - knew about it.”
“Yes – I can see how you might feel tricked. But honestly, Rosie, it was all done with the best of intentions – it was because everyone wanted to make sure we’d get time alone.”
“But what about when Rick and Kirsty come?” she asked, sounding only slightly less wary.
“Ah – they’re not coming. The cottage is for us. To quote Kirsty, she said - ‘I’m not spending my wedding night in some old cottage. I’m having the bridal suite or there will be no wedding,’ - or words to that effect.”
Rosie gave a little smile. “Sounds like Kirsty.”
“So you’ll stay? And we’ll talk?” I asked.
She shrugged, defeated. “Yes, if that’s what you want. But surely we could have talked at the hotel – or back home – like we arranged. It seems a bit extreme to rent a cottage for an evening.”
I didn’t want to tell her, yet, just how long I’d rented the cottage for, so I mumbled something about Rick’s friend not minding and owing Rick a favour – and there being no time like the present.
She shrugged again and shook her head. Then she looked in the direction of the kitchen. “Is that food I can smell?”
“Yes – it’s dinner – beef casserole. I put it in the oven before I came in here.”
“You did?”
“Ye
s, I’ve been having cooking lessons with Andy and Sheena. They both volunteered to teach me, so we’ve been meeting at Sheena’s place and they’ve turned me into a bit of a chef – well I hope they have.”
Rosie looked anxious – panicky almost. I desperately wanted her to relax so I kept talking.
“I kept the lessons secret because I wanted to surprise you. And here’s another surprise - while I fell in love with cooking, it seems Andy and Sheena fell in love with each other! I think theirs will be the next wedding.”
I hoped Rosie might laugh at this revelation – smile at least. But she just put her hands to her face and stood up. I assumed she hadn’t been listening to me – had been wrapped up in her own thoughts. She turned her back and looked down into the fire. Her voice was so quiet I had to lean forward to hear her.
She muttered something about a secret.
“Sorry, what was that?”
She shook her head. “I thought I’d lost you.” She gave a little sob.
I went to her. “Oh, Rosie…”
Tentatively, I put my hand on the back of her neck. I was still at arm’s length. She didn’t pull away. She was trembling. I stepped in closer behind her. I put my other hand on her shoulder and breathed in the smell of her. I could hear her breathing.
She turned to face me, but kept looking down at the floor. I put a finger under her chin and tipped her head up. Tears ran down her cheeks.
I held her face in my hands. “You’ve not lost me. I’ve been there all the time - waiting.” I rubbed away her tears with my thumbs and looked into her eyes.
“Oh, Tom,” she whispered. I put my arms round her. She turned her head and leant it on my chest. I pulled her close and held her tightly. She clung to me and cried with quiet sobs.
Eventually she moved back slightly and looked up at me. “I’m so sorry,” she said.
I put my fingers to her lips and shook my head.
She moved closer again. Her breathing was fast and shallow. She put her hands up to my neck.
Change Of Life Page 33