by Blue Saffire
“TMI. Thank you.”
I shrug. “It’s human nature. You’ll be wiping my son’s ass soon enough. We’re all family.”
“Crazy.” Her laughter follows me as I keep walking.
Twenty minutes later, I rejoin her in the living room. I chuckle when I find her passed out on the couch. She’s been napping a lot in the last week.
I leave her to rest and head to the back study to make a call. I need to check in. It’s hard to do when we’re always together.
“Hello, son,” my father answers the phone.
“Hey, Dad. Anything new?”
“It’s been pretty quiet. Wyatt hasn’t gotten any updates from Nate so far. How is the lass?”
I sigh. “She’s good.”
“Good. Your mother is driving me crazy. She wants to come stay with you and help.”
“It’s still early. She hasn’t had any morning sickness are anything. I don’t think we need any help.” I chuckle. “Tell mom thanks, but we’re okay.”
“I’ll let her know. You may want to give her a call when you have time.” He pauses for a moment. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m not complaining. I want this to be over so I can move forward with my life. I hate having secrets. I know our relationship is happening super-fast, but it feels right. It feels like we’ve been together for forever,” I reply.
Dad gives a small chuckle. “Lorg a h-uile duine leatha agus cùm i leat leat fhèin.”
“Yeah. She’s worthy. I’ve found the one I plan to keep for my own. I just need all this other shit to go away.”
“In time. It will all work itself out in time.”
I sigh. “He’s going to want to kick my ass, isn’t he?”
Dad gives a hearty laugh. “Aye, ye have gotten yerself into one there.”
I cringe as dad’s accent comes out. That means I’ve done it. I may give Kiyoshi shit, but I like him. I want to go to him as a man about the baby.
“It is what it is, Dad. I love her and that’s our baby. I’m going to ask her to marry me as soon as I can.”
“Aye. You do what you need to do. Kiyoshi will surprise you both.”
“Ryan?”
Hearing Carmen call after me, I turn to look at the door. “Hey, Dad. I have to go. Call you soon. Let me know if anything changes.”
“Will do. Keep your eyes open and be careful, son.”
“Always.”
I hang up and head to the front of the house. I furrow my brows when I don’t find Carmen on the couch. The back door is open. My heart races as I rush to it.
I sigh in relief when I find her by the pool. She has her dress tucked between her legs and her feet in the water. I smile as I think of the fact that she refuses to go next to the ocean water, but here she is with her feet in the pool.
I go over and sit beside her. Bumping her shoulder with mine, I kiss her cheek and place a hand on her thigh. She covers my hand with hers and links our fingers together.
“Have you been thinking about what we’re going to do?” she says after a few moments pass.
I turn to look at the side of her face. She keeps her gaze straight ahead at the beach. I study her face contemplatively.
“I meant it when I said my home is yours. When we get back, we’ll move your things in. We’ll start visits to the doctor for the baby. You need to have a conversation with your dad. Then we start to plan what kind of wedding we want to have,” I say.
She snaps her head in my direction at the mention of a wedding. Her gaze bounces over my face. I wait for her response.
“Wedding,” she whispers. “Ry, I know we weren’t planning to have a baby. I’m not going to force you to marry me because I’m pregnant.”
“First, who said you’re forcing me to do anything? Second, I’m not marrying you because of the baby. I—”
I’m cut off by her phone. I was about to tell her I love her. That’s why I want to marry her, but the words are stuck in my throat as she takes a call from her father.
I know it’s him because of the tense, scared look she gets whenever he calls. She truly fears him. I’m reminded again that we’re five years apart.
I stop to wonder if I could be pushing her too fast. When she places her hand on her belly, I shake that thought away. Yeah, we’re moving fast, but it’s us. We have a family to think of. We’ll figure the rest out. We have to.
Carmen
I stare in the mirror and try to figure out the woman looking back at me. Ryan wants to get married. I’ve been thinking about it since he said it by the pool.
Having a baby is one thing, getting married is another. What if I’m not ready for that? I haven’t even found the nerve to tell my father about my boyfriend let alone the baby I’m carrying.
I feel like a fraud. I’m living the life of someone I would love to be, but I don’t feel like I belong here.
“Baby,” Ryan calls.
“Yeah?”
“You okay in there?”
I smile. “Yes, I’m fine. I’ll be out in a second.”
“Did that spicy ass food get to your stomach too?”
I laugh. “No.”
Humph sounds from the other room. “That shit fucked my stomach up. We’re not going back to that place. I can handle spicy food, but that stuff. I don’t know what they put in it.”
I shake my head and continue to giggle at him as I finish putting on lotion. I can’t help but think that we sound like an old married couple. Maybe that’s what’s so odd to me. We fit together effortlessly. I keep waiting for there to be something out of place or wrong with Ryan or our relationship.
When I walk into the bedroom, he’s lying on his back with his hands behind his head. He devours me with his eyes.
“You’re glowing,” he says, holding a hand out toward me.
I move to the bed and take his hand. He pulls me to straddle his waist. Sitting up, he captures my lips.
When he breaks the kiss, he silently looks into my eyes. My breath catches. I must be tired.
There’s no way… that look. The one I’ve seen his brothers give the women in their lives, it’s in Ryan’s. At least, I think I see it for a moment before I chide myself and shake that thought away.
I cup his face as a distraction from my wandering brain. Placing my forehead to his, I kiss his lips softly. “Do you think you can make me glow some more?”
Chapter 21
You Don’t Know
Ryan
I roll over and groan. Reaching out I find the bed empty where Carmen should be. I open my eyes and look around the room. She’s normally snuggled under my heat until I get too hot for her, then she rolls to the other side of the bed.
The light in the bathroom is on. I reach for my phone to check the time. I frown. It’s still the middle of the night. I go to sit upright as the sound of retching comes from the next room.
I’m on my feet before I can think about it. I push into the bathroom and find Carmen hugging the bowl. She looks up as I enter and her face is covered in tears.
A mix of exhaustion, embarrassment, and agony crosses her features. I grab a towel and wet it under the sink. Once the towel is damp, I move toward her and sit with her between my legs.
“I’m okay,” she tries to sob and wave me away.
I could give two fucks that she’s blowing chunks again once I wrap around her. I rub her back and move her hair from out of the way. As she heaves, I press the damp towel across the back of her neck like mom used to do us when we were little.
“Damn, baby. I’m so sorry. I thought you were going to make it without morning sickness,” I murmur once she has a reprieve.
“I don’t know where this came from. One minute I was sleeping. Then I woke up hungry so I went to get a snack. Now my stomach feels like it’s trying to turn itself inside out,” she groans. “Ry, this is so gross and embarrassing.”
“Baby, I’ve eaten your pussy and your ass. You’ve been butt ass naked bent like a pretzel while I’ve
pounded you out and I know for a fact I’ve heard that pussy farting on a number of occasions.”
“Not only am I unbothered by this, I need to be here to support you because you didn’t get pregnant alone. While you were giving up all that good pussy, I was taking and this is the result,” I reply.
She turns her head to look at me and stares. I shrug my shoulders. No lie was told. Hell, I think I remember exactly when I slipped up. I was hitting it from the back, staring at her thick ass, she started to throw it back and grind her hips. Yup, I know exactly how my son got in her belly.
“You know. I don’t think you shock me as much as you used to. I think now I expect it. I know you’ll always tell me the truth,” she says.
I school the frown that automatically tries to come to my face. Instead of responding, I return to wiping her face with the towel. She closes her eyes and groans.
I take the time to look away and react. I hate lying to her. I hate this situation I’m in.
Fuck it. I’m going to tell her. I can’t have this between us. It’s not how I’m built.
“You know, I think I’m probably having the morning sickness as a result of stress,” she whispers right as I get ready to spill it all. “My dad called again while you were cooking in the afternoon. We’ve been here for a month, you would think I’d relax by now, but every time he calls I get nervous all over again.”
I blow out a breath. She has been relaxed and having a good time, but I did notice something was up after lunch. Kiyoshi is still pissed at her for not telling him about me and for having her aunt make up a story so she could come away with me.
“Say nothing, Ryan. I want to see how long my daughter will keep this up,” he hissed over the phone the day we left.
And now, because she thinks she’s sick because of the stress of course I’m not going to say shit. Damn. The last thing I want is to put stress on her or the baby.
“Babe, at some point you have to decide whose life this is. I get that you love your dad and you were raised to respect his opinions on your life. I’m not mad at that.”
“I think it’s cool that your father is so involved, but Carmen. You need to realize you’re not a little girl. You need to go to your father as an adult and talk to him.”
“Easier said than done,” she mumbles.
“Personally, I think that’s all in your head. I think that if you talk to him you’ll find that he’s a father that wants the best for his daughter, no matter what that is.”
“You don’t know my father,” she snaps in frustration.
I bite my tongue. I don’t want to fight and she’s wrong. I do know her father, but I can’t tell her that.
I climb to my feet and start out of the bathroom. It’s best if I walk away. I can’t say what I want and things are only going to escalate if I continue to bump my head against this wall. For now, I’m done talking.
One thing I know from growing up with six brothers and becoming a PI, you can’t change someone’s beliefs or perception. We see what we want to see, we believe what we want to believe until we decide otherwise. Carmen’s not ready to see herself as a grown woman that’s in charge of her own life.
I’m her man, but it’s not my job to force her to see anything she’s not ready for. My job is to love her. I don’t know what else to do beyond that for now. I can only hope that she sees the truth before it chips at what we’re building.
I climb back into bed and lie on my back, looking up at the ceiling. It’s cooled off for the night and a breeze is coming into the room. I need the cool sheets beneath me and the airy breeze to keep my temper at bay.
When Carmen enters the room and climbs into the bed, I remain quiet. I can feel her eyes on me, but I don’t turn to give her my attention. Not until she speaks.
Carmen
I think we’re having our first real fight and I hate it. I didn’t mean to yell at him. I was frustrated. He keeps telling me to talk to my father, but he doesn’t know him. He doesn’t know what it’s like.
“My father is ten years older than my mother. He grew up in Japan and only moved to live in the States permanently after meeting my mother. He was in his late thirties and set in his ways by then. My mother tells stories all the time about my father being the most stubborn man she’s ever met, but she fell in love with him just the same.”
“In his culture, he was raised strictly. My aunt Mariah, she’s closer to my age and her father was more lenient with her than dad’s father was with him I guess. My grandmother remarried in America after my father’s dad died. Different eras different cultures.”
“Talk about apples and oranges. My mother and my aunt have always been in my corner. Because I can be timid and shy, they have stood up for me when my father tends to be more heavy handed.” I pause and blow out a breath.
Ry places a warm hand on my thigh as my legs are crossed in front of me. “Babe, all I want for you is the best. I’m not trying to tell you to go against your father, I’m telling you to talk to him. How we see things when we’re younger is not how they totally are from the outside looking in. This is something I’m telling you I know. It’s like a gift, I see shit other people don’t.”
“I’ll think about it,” I say not wanting to fight about this anymore.
Ryan didn’t grow up in my house. I don’t expect him to understand. Having a Caribbean mother and Japanese father was no picnic in the park. Two very strict cultures but in two very different ways. Somehow, my mother and father balance each other.
I’ve admired that. As I look at Ryan’s hand against my thigh, I want that with him. I want to be the in to his yō. I smile. That’s the way Yin and Yang were adopted in Japanese. Same concept, different words.
I never thought to think of my parents that way, but it applies. Ryan and I can be that. It’s what I want. To be the translation of him. To be our own language, the way my parents are.
I lift my eyes to Ryan’s. “Our baby will be special. It will have so much culture and so much of the world inside of it. Whatever happens, I look forward to that. I don’t want to fight with you, Ry. I don’t like it.”
He sits up and kisses my forehead. “I’m not here to fight with you either.” He places his hand on my belly. “You and this baby are all I care about. Whatever else comes our way, we’ll deal with it. I need you to remember something for me.”
“What?”
“Everything, and I mean, everything I do, I do for you and this kid. You got that?”
I smile up at him. “Yeah, I got that.”
“Good, now, shut up. That toothpaste isn’t masking much,” he teases with a smile on his lips.
I swat at his shoulder, but he catches my hand and kisses my fingertips. Tugging at my hand, he brings me to his chest. When I fall into him, I wrap my hands around his neck.
“You’re an ass.” I chuckle.
“Heard it all before. How are you feeling?”
“I don’t know if I can go back to sleep now,” I murmur.
He rubs circle across my back and I second-guess those words. The motion has my lids growing heavy. He kisses the top of my head.
“We could always make good of this time in bed,” he croons.
“My breath stinks remember,” I say dryly.
“Who said that?” he mock gasps. “Besides, I could always gag you. You seemed to like that last time. I had the staff stock some honey. Oh, babe. The shit I can do with warm honey.”
My nipples tighten even as I get sleepy. The idea of Ryan, gags, and honey triggers a flood between my legs. You wouldn’t think I was hugging the toilet moments ago. I smile sleepily into his neck.
“I think I’m going to fall asleep before you can get everything and come back. Tomorrow? Promise?”
He kisses my head again. “Promise.”
“Ry?”
“Yeah.”
“Tell me more about what it was like growing up with six brothers. Do you think we should have more than one?”
His lips tur
n up against my temple. He tightens his arms around me slightly. “I sure hope we have more than one. First, we need to get some things straight and get this one out of the way. Then, we’ll talk about the team I want to build with you.”
“Team?” I chuckle, forcing my lids open. “I never said anything about a team.”
“Ah, babe. Something you have to learn about those with multiple siblings. We’re competitive. Wyatt’s already on his second. The rest of us are going to catch up. This means we have to have at least two more.”
I burst into laughter. Even my sleepy brain knows that’s insane. However, it totally makes sense when I think of Ryan and his brothers.
“I want pancakes in the morning, with honey and butter,” I mutter.
“I’ve got you. I’ll even make you honey butter. How does that sound?”
“You can make me honey butter?” I ask excitedly.
“Is my mother Cassy Black? Go to sleep. You’ll have your pancakes and honey butter in the morning.”
I smile and snuggle into his warmth. I love you. I think the words I’m too tired to say. I’ve fallen so deep in love with Ryan I know I’ll figure the rest out.
Chapter 22
Moment to Shine
Carmen
I giggle as Ryan spreads my cheeks and dips his tongue between them before sucking a piece of fruit into his mouth. I’ve been his personal fruit platter for the last ten minutes. We’re on our private beach as the sun beams down to kiss our skin.
I’m lying on a beach blanket on the sand. Ryan has covered my back and butt in pineapples, grapes, and strawberries. I’ve become his human fruit salad. Fruit juices have dripped into the crack of my butt and Ryan has taken his time, lazily eating half the fruit and feeding me the rest.
“Mmm, I think I’ve eaten too fast. All my fruit is gone, all I have is juice and a very wet pussy. What should I do now, baby?”
I keep my eyes closed as my head rests on my folded arms. This bubble we’re in is going to burst soon. The real world is waiting and this is coming to an end in a week. For almost two months, I’ve been getting to know Ryan and falling in love with him.