Lady Southridge started towards the door. “Do not forget your manners Charles, escort the young lady.” She nodded in Carlotta’s direction and left. The girls following close behind. Bethanny paused at the door, glancing back at Carlotta and giving her a wide smile.
A knowing smile.
Immediately heat burst into her cheeks, surely causing a deep blush.
“I’m under firm orders to escort you to the dining room.” The duke bowed crispy before her, then extended his arm.
“Thank you,” she replied. Keeping herself firmly in check, she allowed him to lead the way, but she refused to feel anything.
Her arm tried to make her feel how warm he was, even through the material of his fine coat.
Her nose tried to overwhelm her with the spicy peppermint scent of him.
Her eyes tried to remind her of his strong jaw, his full lips and the broadness of his shoulders.
She silenced each sense that tried to be overwhelmed with him.
“Quiet again?” he inquired, his tone light but distant.
It pulled her away from the lockdown she had forced upon her senses.
“Simply nothing to say, your grace,” she responded.
“Again, I find that hard to believe. But perhaps I’m not asking the right questions. What do you think of Lady Southridge?”
“She is very kind to the girls, for which I’m very grateful. She seems genuinely interested in them.”
“I assure you, she is.”
“That is good to hear.”
The silence continued for a second longer.
“How are the girls doing in the studies?” he asked as he reached up to adjust his collar.
“They are very intelligent young ladies and quick studies in all I place before them,” she answered.
“That is good to hear.” He used her same words, which was not missed by her. A smile tipped the edge of her mouth at the oddity of their conversations. Truly, if they weren’t arguing, they were kissing. If they weren’t kissing, they were arguing. This was quite possibly the first calm conversation they had carried and it was also the most boring, mundane—
“What has caused that mischievous grin to delight your face?” He stopped their progress and turned towards her, his eyes taking in her features in a decidedly passionate manner that was in conflict with the lightness of his question.
“My thoughts are my own.” She shrugged, attempting to walk towards the dining hall once more.
His hand closed over his arm, trapping her hand and halting her progress.
“Now I find that my interest is overwhelmed. Please share your secrets, Miss Lottie.” He raised an eyebrow, but a smile tipped his lips causing his expression to be quite mischievous.
“As I said, your grace, my thoughts are my own. There is no requirement for me to share them as they belong to me only,” she responded lightly, but her grin widened.
“Then I shall try to tease them from you.”
“That would be a very bad idea.”
“Haven’t you realized that I’m quite fond of that which pertains to bad ideas, lack of thinking and all things impulsive?” he teased, alluding to their earlier conversation.
Carlotta sobered as she reflected on that same conversation, rather, the end of it.
“Yes. I’m quite aware. It’s to your benefit that I’m opposing in nature and find myself more inclined to be less impulsive and more thoughtful. They’ll be waiting, your grace.” Carlotta kept her tone light, but her gaze surely conveyed her desire for the topic of conversation to come to a close.
The duke paused, searching her gaze before his expression became distant.
“As you wish.” He began to lead towards the dining room once more. As they were rounding the corner, he paused. Before Carlotta could question what he was about, he leaned in and kissed her, softly, sweetly. It was nothing more than a quick taste of her lips before he withdrew, leaving her not even a moment to return the kiss.
Which she wouldn’t have done, or so she told herself.
Immediately he began their way towards the dining room once more.
“Before you say anything…” he began in a soft whisper, like a caress. “I did that because I had to. As much as it is impulsive, without thought to propriety and lacking all judgment on my and your part, I find that kissing you is simply like breathing. Absolutely necessary. Hang everything else.” He gave her a penetratingly endearing gaze just before they entered the dining room.
Carlotta, feeling quite overwhelmed with the whole situation and his declaration, was thankfully guided to her chair and sat. She glanced up to see the three girls staring at her openly, questions written all across their faces. But to their credit, they didn’t speak. Although Bethanny was struggling mightily to conceal her amusement.
When she turned to Lady Southridge, she noticed a twinkle in the lady’s eye, one that was deeply amused and impish. Both traits she wouldn’t have earlier associated with the finely turned out lady.
Clearing his throat, the duke sat and dinner began.
Carlotta had never been so thankful for the distraction of soup in her life.
“Tell me about yourself, Miss Carlotta.” Lady Southridge began as she delicately sipped her soup.
Apparently, soup was only a distraction for her.
“There isn’t much to say, my lady,” Carlotta replied, hoping to keep the conversation dull enough to allow for a change in subject. So far, the duke hadn’t ever asked about her background, but she assumed he knew through Mr. Burrows or even Mrs. Pott. Being forced into service because of one’s poverty wasn’t a discussion Carlotta’s remaining pride was willing to explore, regardless.
“Oh, come now. I’m sure there’s something to share! Where did you grow up?” Lady Southridge persisted.
“Not too far from Bath,” she answered vaguely.
“Is that so?” Lady Southridge’s eyebrows rose.
“Indeed.” Carlotta nodded then returned to her soup, not offering any more information.
“So have you been to Bath before then?”
Carlotta swallowed her warm soup slowly, procrastinating so that she wouldn’t have to answer Lady Southridge’s question till absolutely necessary.
Pride was a wicked beast.
“Yes, on several occasions,” she answered politely. Though her answers were not lengthy, the last thing she wanted to do was offend the duke’s guest.
“Miss Lottie knew all about the Crescent and the Abby! We had a picnic at the park and everything!” Berty exclaimed, her face lighting up with the joy of adding to the adult’s conversation.
“Did she now? You girls are very lucky to have such a learned governess.” Lady Southridge gushed to Berty then turned her adoring gaze to the older girls. “Tell me, what else did Miss Carlotta tell you about Bath?”
“Well…” Beatrix turned a questioning gaze to Carlotta, as if to ask if they were allowed to divulge any information. Carlotta smiled sweetly, there was really nothing else she could do.
“She showed us the shops on the bridge, it was quite amazing. I’ve never seen a bridge like that.”
“Ah yes! I remember that as well. What park did you picnic at?”
“I believe it was Sydney Park,” Bethanny answered.
“We fed the ducks! Do you like to feed ducks Lady Southridge?” Berty asked her face lit up in an endearing smile.
“You know, it has been an age since I’ve fed the ducks. Perhaps, if it is permissible with his grace, we could venture out tomorrow and do just that.”
“Oh! Can we your grace?” Berty wasted not a moment to plead her case.
“I believe that will be acceptable. I’ll have cook prepare you a picnic for your excursion. I, however, will remain here. There are several issues on the estate I must address.”
“Has something happened?” Lady Southridge asked, her tone slightly fearful.
“Why, no. Just normal upkeep.” The duke allayed her concern.
“Oh, t
hen if it is not pressing, why can you not accompany us?” Lady Southridge wiped her mouth with the linen napkin and gazed directly at him.
Carlotta could have sworn she saw him squirm.
That is, if dukes actually can squirm.
“I have not been to this estate for quite a few months, I have a responsibility.”
“Come, Charles,” Lady Southridge commanded, but her tone was light.
Carlotta decided that she wouldn’t want to be on the bad side of Lady Southridge. She was quite… assertive.
“After all, your wards will want to spend time with you.” She cast a sweet smile to the girls, who upon seeing her gesture slightly with her hand, the one that was out of the duke’s line of sight, they nodded enthusiastically and smiled.
“See! They want you to attend! Surely you can postpone your business till later that afternoon,” she chided.
“Very well. I’ll attend you.” His tone was reluctant and he cast a wary glance towards Carlotta.
Which of course, she didn’t miss.
And because she was already contemplating the complexities of their non-existent relationship —really there was no other word to describe a kiss between a duke and governess!— she decided that she had to control her emotions better and there could not, under any circumstances, ever —ever, ever— be any more kisses.
It was entirely too confusing,
And she was not going to fall for a man who would leave her ruined, because that was the only logical outcome.
After all, dukes did not marry governesses.
Either way, at least she would not have to attend their outing tomorrow, as it was her one day off for the week. She doubted the girls remembered, especially since she hadn’t taken a day off since they arrived. There was nothing for her to do unless she wanted to go to Garden Gate, and as much as she missed her home, she didn’t want to revisit the memories that haunted the halls. At least not yet.
“Miss Carlotta, would ten o’clock be an acceptable time for you and the girls to take your leave?” Lady Southridge asked.
So much for keeping her plans silent.
“Actually, my lady, tomorrow is my day off. The girls will be ready for you by that time, however.” She spoke as politely as possible.
“Oh, dear,” Lady Southridge commented, her expression crestfallen. “I suppose I did not consider that.” She took a deep breath. “I know you have no reason to amend your plans, especially for me, but I would consider it a great personal favor if you would go with us tomorrow. I’m not as familiar with Bath and your expertise would be most welcome.”
Carlotta considered her words. “I wouldn’t want to intrude… and seeing as his grace will be attending you, he is likely far more wise to the architecture and layout of Bath than I, my lady.”
Lady Southridge glanced to Charles and cleared her throat. Twice.
When the duke didn’t look up from his soup, she turned back to Carlotta.
If it wasn’t so awkward, she would have laughed or at least smiled.
“I’m afraid his grace, by his own admission, has not been here for some time. I’d much rather have someone more familiar.”
It was a far stretch. Bath was one of the oldest cities in England and not much had changed to its infrastructure. Carlotta knew that, she suspected that Lady Southridge knew that as well. But she couldn’t rightly challenge the lady’s word. So with a resigned nod, she accepted. “I’d be delighted then, Lady Southridge.”
“Perfect! And I’m sure his grace will see fit to give you a separate day off for your leisure,” she gushed.
The duke glanced up, his face wincing as Lady Southridge shifted slightly.
If she didn’t know better, she would have believed that the duke had been kicked under the table by a very pointed slipper belonging to Lady Southridge.
Good thing she knew better.
She smiled regardless, however.
“Yes, yes. Perhaps the day after tomorrow? Will Friday be acceptable?”
“Indeed, thank you, your grace.”
“Yes, well…”
The conversation continued to ebb and flow through the several-course dinner. Carlotta was thrilled to watch her charges use perfect table manners, correct posture, and engage in polite conversation. To see a tangible reward for her efforts quickly outweighed the embarrassing conversation earlier.
As dinner finished, the duke excused himself, only to be called back by Lady Southridge. “Charles? Would you please escort Carlotta to the parlor? I would love to walk with the girls once more and I find that I’m in need of entertainment. Do any of you beautiful young ladies play the pianoforte?” She turned her attention to the three girls.
“Yes, m’um.” Bethanny and Beatrix nodded.
“I’m learning, Lady Southridge.” Berty offered.
“That is wonderful. I’d love to hear you all play! It’s settled. Charles? What room holds your delightful instrument?”
“That would be the green room. If you’ll follow me,” he responded graciously.
Carlotta stood and waited for the girls.
“Oh, do carry on without us. I find I need to finish my wine. I’ll be just a moment. The girls will direct me, won’t you?” Lady Southridge turned to the girls.
“Of course,” Bethanny responded. Then, as if she questioned whether to continue or stop, “I’m sure we’ll be only a moment. Lady Southridge wished to tell me more of the London Season and we’ll simply continue that conversation when we rejoin you.”
Carlotta narrowed her eyes slightly. Lady Southridge was beaming, Bethanny simply looked too innocent and Berty had a very confused expression on her face.
“But you weren’t talking about London, you were trying to—”
“Berty! I, er, need your help,” Beatrix cut in, her eyes frantically casting about for something that would make her statement true.
“Oh? What happened?” Berty asked, distracted.
“It seems it is just you and I,” a soft voice spoke from behind her. A chuckle escaped and warmed her insides at the rich sound. “Let them have their secrets, Miss Lottie. Truly, what is the worst that can happen?” he asked.
“You have no idea what you’re saying.” Carlotta turned towards him, prepared to give him a very exasperated expression, but he was much closer than she had expected.
Much, much closer.
Her breath caught as she almost walked into his chest. The scent of cedar and peppermint immediately enveloped her and caused her determined thoughts to grow foggy.
“Shall we?” he asked, his voice for her alone.
She nodded, not willing to trust the strength of her voice.
He reached out and placed her gloved hand on his arm, then led them into the hall amidst whispers that trailed behind them.
She must remember to tell the girls about the difference between the classes. This was one area they were not to meddle with.
“Surely being alone with me isn’t too trying?” he asked, his gaze intent on her face.
“Trying isn’t the word I’d use.”
“Oh, what word then? Charming? Handsomely distracting? Witty, intelligent—”
“My, however am I to choose with such a diverse list of options?” she replied wryly.
“Honesty is always preferable to flattery.”
“Says the duke,” she mumbled.
“Indeed, however I’m curious as to why you said it.”
“So are you looking forward to tomorrow’s picnic?” Carlotta tried to change the subject. She had no desire to explain herself for the slip.
“Yes and no. You are not sufficiently distracting from my previous question. However, just in case my dashing countenance stole your train of thought—”
“Are you always so humble?”
“Yes, and the question was, why does it matter if a duke preferred honestly to flattery? I find I’m quite curious as to your answer, Miss Lottie.”
Carlotta sighed. “If you must know, as duke, you undou
btedly are surrounded with people who wish to flatter you as a way to obtain your good graces. That lends the idea of you surrounding yourself with honesty, quite challenging, your grace.”
“Charles.”
“Pardon?” Carlotta stopped mid stride.
“My name is Charles. You are free to use it, when we are alone of course.”
“No, thank you, your grace.”
“I fully intend on calling you Carlotta so I felt it necessary to be fair.”
“I’d prefer you not address me so familiar, your grace.”
“Carlotta…” He paused, his eyebrows raised in challenge at his use of her Christian name. “Forgive me for being so forward but as a woman I have kissed, thoroughly, and on many occasions I might add, my use of your Christian name is far less scandalous than the previous.”
Carlotta took in a deep breath. “I believe I’ve stated my opinion on the kisses, your grace. To allow you to use my Christian name would simply undermine my previous statement.”
“Ah, yes, the no kissing. Seems to be working rather well, wouldn’t you say?” he teased just as he leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her shocked lips.
“Your grace!”
“Charles,” he amended.
“You cannot simply… kiss people.”
“I don’t. I kissed, you.”
“I’m a person and I don’t wish to be kissed!”
“Yes, you do. You just are afraid.”
“Yes, no. I mean—” She broke off, sighing heavily and releasing his arm. “Yes, I’m afraid, for obvious reasons we have already discussed. I’m not one to trifle with. I have more… respect for myself than that. I ask for you to exhibit that same… respect towards me… please.” Her tone was pleading. In all truth, she was powerless to stop him if he did continue to kiss her. Not only was he stronger, but she had no desire to stop him either. She wanted his kisses, but her heart had a quite different view than her mind. And her mind won the logical debate. It had to end.
Now.
“I swear to you that I’m not simply dallying with you, Carlotta.”
“Your grace, you cannot do anything but. I’m simply a governess. Nothing more… but nothing less either. When I left London, you explained that whatever attraction we felt must be denied, that was why you were sending us away. Why then, are you here now? I’ll not say I’m not attracted to you. I am. As much as it terrifies me, I am. But there is nothing that can come of it. So please. I ask, no, I beg of you. Please. Allow me to remain respectable in my own eyes and do not kiss me or try me further. I fear my own will is not strong enough against the force of your own.
What the Duke Wants Page 14