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Forbidden Page 11

by Rachel Van Dyken


  Essie shook her head but grinned. She shifted her gaze from Anna to behind her, searching for Cross. But he was nowhere to be seen.

  "We only just arrived! It's quite the crush already, isn't it?" Anna spoke excitedly as her royal blue eyes took in the opulent surroundings.

  "Yes, the dancing began a bit early I think, as well," Essie replied, her gaze still searching for Cross.

  "Don't worry, my brother didn't forget. He'll be here shortly." Anna waved dismissively. "If I didn't know better, I'd say he was nervous."

  "Nervous? Why?" Essie asked.

  Anna shrugged. "I'm not sure. Oh! There he is!" Anna pointed to the archway to the left.

  Essie followed her gaze and felt a wave of relief crash over her.

  He was here.

  Essie studied Cross from across the room. His ink-black hair was perfectly combed, yet styled slightly different than she remembered. His evening kit was cut in perfect lines to emphasize his tall and lean shape, but as he had grown older, the thin frame of adolescent boy had matured into the strong build of a man. At only eighteen months older than his sister, Cross had always been close with Anna. Which meant that Essie had also come to know him quite well. But as friendly as they had been to one another, she had always felt that he kept his distance. Sheer desperation had lent her the courage to ask him to participate in her ruse, that and she was quite certain he was the only gentleman of which she could ask such a question and not be laughed at.

  Or rejected.

  His gaze scanned the crowded ballroom, as if searching, yet his movements were so confident, comfortable. He nodded to a passing gentleman and shook his hand. Skirting the room, his gaze finally landed on Anna but shifted to Essie, and remained there. With determined strides he made his way towards her, never once taking his eyes off her. Essie felt the odd desire to glance away and shift her position. Never before had Cross made her feel so… uncomfortable. Yet it wasn't an altogether unwelcome feeling, simply… strange. As he drew closer he lowered his gaze for a moment before lifting it again, only this time his face transformed into a charming grin. His cobalt blue eyes crinkled slightly, framed by lashes dark and thick.

  Essie felt her knees weaken.

  What was wrong with her? This was Cross! And the smile, she was quite sure, was all part of the ruse they were using to lure other men.

  Other men.

  Not Cross.

  Yet she couldn't shake the strange swirling sensation of attraction that utterly shocked her.

  "Hello, Miss Flanguard." He bowed and reached for her outstretched hand. His fingers gripped hers possessively.

  Possessively? She shook her head. Perhaps this was a bad idea, asking Cross.

  The whole situation was causing her to question her sanity.

  He placed a simple kiss to the air above her wrist and straightened, his gaze searching hers.

  For what, she had no idea, but she wanted to know.

  "As always, you are utterly lovely. That shade of blue only highlights the depths of your eyes." He spoke so sincerely, as if the words were more than a compliment, rather they were a confession.

  "I, er, thank you." Essie glanced away, a blush heating her face.

  She had to pull it together!

  This was not real, this was Cross helping her out.

  He didn't truly think those things.

  She glanced back to his earnest expression.

  But he surely appeared to mean them.

  "Cross, you really must tone it down. You're to appear as if you're courting her, not scare her off," Anna replied as she smacked her brother's shoulder with her fan playfully.

  "Ah, dear sister, you give your friend far too little credit." Cross shrugged and turned a mischievous grin towards Essie.

  His eyes gleamed with merriment, adding a twinkling effect to the slightly lighter shade of blue next to his iris.

  It was fascinating. How had she never noticed it before?

  "Miss Flanguard is easily able to withstand my poor attempt at charm," he teased, but his expression wasn't as playful as the intent of his words.

  It was strange how she could see that, as if his expression were able to speak louder than his words.

  It was something she'd remember.

  "Indeed." Essie found her voice as she pried her gaze away from Cross'. "But I must admit that your brother is a far better actor than I anticipated. I dare say if you ever wished to, you could tread the boards at any theater," she teased.

  "A compliment from the lady!" Cross grinned. "But alas, it could never be. You see…" He leaned forward slightly, his movements drawing her in, she followed suit till they were closer than was proper.

  Yet she found she didn't care a fig.

  "Yes?" She whispered delightedly.

  "I have stage fright," he whispered.

  Essie laughed and shook her head, leaning back. "How horrific for you."

  "Indeed, it's humbling in the extreme. So alas, I can never achieve my dream." He pretended to be wounded at the thought.

  Essie laughed and glanced to Anna, who was watching them with a strange expression.

  "Anna?" Essie asked, her brow pinching in confusion.

  "Ah, nothing. Nothing." She shook her head slightly as her gaze darted between Essie and her brother. "I do believe I'm thirsty however, I'll be back shortly."

  She spun on her slipper and left in a swirl of pale green silk.

  "Odd," Cross commented.

  Essie turned a questioning expression towards him.

  "Odd that she didn't ask me to retrieve her some lemonade. I honestly can't remember the last time she didn't expect me to procure her a glass." Cross met Essie's gaze then shifted to watch his sister's retreating back.

  "I'm sure it's nothing."

  Essie shrugged.

  "So, Miss Flanguard—"

  "No. Cross I've known you far too long for you to call me 'Miss Flanguard'. Essie, if you please. After all, we have a role to play, do we not?" She leaned forward and whispered the last words quietly.

  Cross met her gaze with one of his own, without hesitation he leaned in towards her. His eyes roaming her face, finally focusing on her lips. "Indeed we do. Far be it from me to shirk my responsibilities," he whispered, and leaned back.

  Essie felt his retreat acutely, as if he had taken the warmth of the room with him.

  "I should like to secure the super waltz and, if you wish to cause a stir, I'll take one additional dance."

  Essie bit her lip. "It would indeed make a statement. Very well."

  "Would you care to start now?"

  "Now?"

  "Yes, dance, you me, the cotillion." He swayed his shoulders slightly, pretending to dance.

  Essie laughed.

  He chuckled in return, appearing utterly pleased he provoked her mirth.

  "When you ask like that, how could I refuse?

  "Ah, I learned her weakness!" Cross declared as he led her to the dance floor.

  "I have no weakness sir," she shot back, grinning.

  "Everyone has a weakness, Essie." He spoke the words with a smile, but again, his eyes were far more serious in expression than his tone, belying his attempt at humor.

  "Indeed, we do," she replied, trying to keep the tone light.

  "But the most surprising truth about weakness, is that often, it can be turned into a great strength." He spoke directly. "The trick is to not believe the lie."

  "The lie?" Essie asked quickly as they neared the line of dancers.

  "Yes, the lie that the risk isn't worth the reward. Because Essie…" He paused mid-stride and gazed at her candidly. "The lie keeps you from achieving the best, the most the highest and most beautiful. The lie tells you you'll never succeed… when the truth is, no matter what, you will. You'll either achieve your goal, or you'll fail and learn something from the experience, then you dust yourself off and try again. But I'd always rather try and fail, than be a coward," he whispered the last words, as if they were more to himself, than
to her.

  "Who are you?" Essie asked before she could filter her thoughts.

  He seemed startled, then a dangerous light illuminated his eyes.

  "You're about to find out."

  Cross knew that with each moment he spent with Essie, the risk to his heart grew exponentially. It was both his greatest dream and most acute nightmare. For indeed, he was most assuredly courting her, with every glance, every grasp of her hand as they danced.

  But it wasn't real.

  Yet.

  But he was certain he wasn't imagining the way she was beginning to respond to him, as if perhaps who she expected him to be, was not who he indeed was.

  If she only knew.

  He would take it slow, he would bide his time and win her over under the pretense of playing the ruse.

  As the time for the supper waltz neared, he made his way around the edge of the ballroom, breathing deeply; reminding himself of his earlier declaration. He'd not play the coward. He had been given this golden opportunity and he'd not waste it.

  He had waited too long once before, and she became engaged to someone else. Fate—blessed providence that it was—had seen fit to grant him one final chance to win her heart, and he'd not squander it.

  He caught sight of her, a beautiful vision in her pale blue silk dress. She wore a single ostrich feather in her hair; it's creamy color highlighting the beautiful tone of her skin. A wide grin broke out across her face, drawing his attention to her full lips, the most perfect shade carnation pink. He made his way towards her as the first strains of the waltz began. As he neared, she turned slightly and noticed him, her lips once again twisting into a beguiling smile.

  Cross grinned in return, offering his hand to her. "I believe this is my waltz, my lady." He bowed smartly.

  "Indeed it is," she answered and excused herself from the other young ladies with which she had been conversing.

  For the first time, Cross noticed how small her hand was, how its slight form made him feel stronger, and profoundly protective of the woman in his grasp.

  "No profound insights to offer?" Essie's voice called him from his own musings.

  "Pardon?" He furrowed his brow in confusion before understanding dawned. "Ah, minx. No, I only save my deep insights for the Cotillion."

  "Pity, and here I was expecting something truly deep, since it was a waltz." She shrugged teasingly.

  "The waltz needs no assistance in succeeding to be profound," Cross murmured as he pulled her into the frame of his body. Oh he had danced with her—waltzed with her—before, but this time was different…. This time he could make passionate love to her through the fluidity of their movements on the ballroom floor. He could let the adoration he held for her deep within shine through his eyes and flow over her.

  "Oh? I find myself sincerely curious as to how you think so," Essie replied, yet the teasing manner she had used earlier was more subdued. Softly, she placed her hand on his shoulder and grasped his hand.

  Cross pulled her in close… but not too close. But his hold was decidedly possessive.

  His entire body responded with a thrilling hum of greatly restrained desire. She didn't resist his hold, rather seemed to melt into it, as if she fit.

  As if she belonged.

  If only he could prove that it was indeed the truth.

  Steeling himself against his own thoughts, he led them into the swirling dancers and thought of how to answer her question. "The waltz is profound because it takes two seemingly innocent expressions of humanity and through them, creates an expression that provokes delight and desire, joy and hope."

  "The innocent expressions being?" Essie questioned, her eyebrow raised in challenge.

  Cross grinned and leaned forward. "Music and movement."

  "I can see your point, but I have yet to see it executed. They are fine words you say, but they hold no power unless applied." Essie seemed to dare.

  "Is that a challenge I hear in your tone?" Cross asked, raising an eyebrow.

  "Me? Challenge you? Never." Her eyes glowed with mischief.

  Cross leaned forward. "Challenge accepted." His gaze lingered on her lips. "The question is if you are up the gamble." Any restraint he had employed before was stripped away as he lowered his hand on her back slightly and splayed his fingers so that his grip was widened, holding more of her.

  Her eyes widened slightly, but she didn't make any movement to escape or loosen his grip, rather she surprised him by taking a step closer.

  Saints above.

  Tilting his head slightly, he leaned forward and inhaled the soft scent of her, allowing it to fill his senses as they spun. He led her effortlessly as he gently applied pressure along her waist, as he guided her through their outstretched hands, allowing the music to pull them into the grip of its magic. Leaning back, he allowed his gaze to focus entirely on her, not sparing a glance for the rest of the dancers, but memorizing the tilt of her chin, the way her smile began to transition into a humble blush.

  A blush he had provoked.

  "I had no idea you were so…" She seemed unable to find the word as she broke eye contact and glanced down, her color deepening.

  "Charming? Handsome? Feel free to pick one," he teased, never once taking his gaze from her face.

  She glanced up, a wry grin twisting her lips. "Daring," she replied.

  "You say it as if were a bad trait," he shot back, playfully.

  "Not necessarily, bad… simply surprising." She hitched a shoulder as the music faded.

  He released her waist and immediately missed holding her, but settle for her petite hand resting on his arm.

  "Apparently I'm full of surprises tonight," he murmured, glancing to her.

  Rather than respond she bit her lip and looked away, a playful twisting of her lips tempting him.

  She took a breath and returned his gaze. "Actually, I find you rather—"

  "Essie!" Anna's voice attempted to whisper but it truly sounded more of a shout and quite effectively interrupted whatever Essie was about to say.

  Damn it all.

  "Anna?" Essie's brow furrowed as she watched Anna approach, her skirts swishing in the urgency of her gait.

  "Essie! He's here and…" Anna's gaze slid to her brother then back to Essie. "He's here and with Miss Montray."

  "He? Who in creation is 'he' Anna?" Cross asked in an irritated tone.

  As Anna opened her mouth to answer, Essie did for her. "Trighton." She whispered the name.

  Immediately Cross focused his attention on Essie, trying to read her expression.

  Her shoulders lifted with the deep breath she drew, as if fortifying herself. "All it proves is that I was indeed fortunate to escape such a fickle gentleman," she replied bravely, putting on a courageous smile that didn't reach her eyes.

  Anna offered her a comforting smile as she reached out and grasped Essie's other hand, the one that wasn't still resting on his arm. Reaching over he placed his own hand over hers, hopefully offering reassurance.

  "He was never worthy of you, while the temptation is to believe that there is something wrong with you, understand that it is a character flaw within him that allowed him to miss the treasure that you indeed are. If you'll excuse me." Cross patted her hand and left, needing to distance himself from Essie and Trighton before he acted brashly.

  And he had already shocked Essie enough tonight. Fisticuffs with her former betrothed and stealing a kiss from her were not going to help his case.

  And he was quite certain he needed all the help he could get.

  CHAPTER THREE

  "Is it just me, or is my brother acting odd?" Anna asked as her gaze followed the retreating form of her brother.

  Essie tilted her head slightly, studying the man she thought she knew so well.

  Not any longer.

  When did Cross make the transition from comfortable friend to mysterious gentleman? It was as if everything she thought she knew about him had been thrown into question.

  It was alluring
.

  It was alarming.

  It was making her feel things she didn't trust herself to dwell on.

  Her hand felt cold, missing the heat his arm had lent her. When they had waltzed, it had been like a scene from a fairy tale, the music punctuating each movement, each step.

  Each breath.

  What was muddling her mind was that all this was taking place with Cross.

  Cross.

  No matter how many times she said his name in her mind, it didn't add up. How had she spent most of her life in his company and never… noticed him? Was that it? And why in heaven's name was he not married? His blue eyes were sinful, deep and mischievous. His broad shoulders declared him powerful, strong. Essie watched him walk away, the confident and determined stride of a man who knew his place, who knew what he wanted.

  What would it be like for him to want her?

  Shaking her head, she turned to Anna, not wanting to answer that question.

  "Forget that, you both are acting odd. But I must say, I weren't in on the ruse, I'd be fully convinced that you two were courting. I had no idea my brother had it in him, to act so smitten. I had to glance away from watching you dance, it was…" She twisted her lips slightly as if thinking of the correct word. "Passionate."

  "Passionate?" Essie questioned, thought it was for Anna's benefit, and to cover up her own secret emotions all confusing and new.

  "He was making love to you with his eyes. Disgusting. We're talking about my brother." She shivered delicately and glanced away. "I'm happy to know that you're dealing well with Trighton's ill taste. Bringing Miss Montray. Everyone knows she's only after his title…" Anna's eyes widened and she reached out and grasped Essie's arm. "Do you think his family is," She widened her eyes and nodded slightly, as if trying to communicate something without speaking it.

  Essie shook her head in confusion. "I'm afraid I can't read minds."

  "Do you think… wait." Anna pulled Essie's hand in the direction of an open balcony, thankfully mostly deserted. "He asked you to cry off, which means he didn't want to create a scandal, or be the source of one. After all, if you cried off, it would be far less of a disgrace for both of you if you were to end it. And since you're here with Cross, people will simply assume that you both parted amicably, for the most part. But, what if, Trighton needed you to cry off?" Anna asked in a whisper.

 

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