by Amanda Stone
Jessi jumped from the sink with a squeal. “I KNEW IT! Gah, how is it kissing someone with a lip piercing? I’ve always wondered. I bet it’s super-hot.” She fanned herself and I smiled.
“Oh yeah, it’s most definitely hot.” I was getting a little tickle in my belly from the memories of the kisses Kane and I had shared.
“So, do you like him?”
I paused for a second before shyly nodding. “I do, Jess. I don’t know what it is about him but he kinda just gets me.”
“Landon said that he’s never seen Kane behave the way he does when he’s around you. That he has never actually seen Kane show more than a full day’s worth of attention to any girl in general and that Kane isn’t really the relationship type. And I can’t lie, Kels, that scares me a little for you since you’re my best friend and you have never shown this much attention to any guy before. I’m scared that you are going to fall hard and fast and that Kane won’t be there to catch you when you do. Do you think that maybe he might just be a little too good to be true?”
I looked at my friend. I don’t know what I had done to deserve her friendship but she was always there for me. She was there before my whole world came crashing down, she was there after, and she would be there ‘til they laid us both in the ground, side by side with matching tombstones that read best on one, and friends on the other—yeah it was morbid that we had this all planned out, but that was just us.
“I know all about what he used to be like, Jess, but he’s changed. I know it sounds crazy for me to say he has changed when I didn’t even know him before, but he came clean about the stuff he has done and the people he has hurt in the process and I honestly believe him. It couldn’t have been easy for him to admit to me that he used girls for sex at one point.”—I paused—“I really do believe him, Jess. Which is why last night I came clean about my past too.”
Jessi’s eyes widened. “You told him about your mom?”
I nodded.
“Kelsey, that’s such a big deal. I can’t believe you told him about that so soon. You never talk about your mom and what happened.”
“I know, believe me I never expected to do so, but he opened up to me. Telling me about his past. Not only the part about the women but also some stuff about his parents too and it just didn’t feel right not be as open and honest with him as he was with me. I told you, Jessi, I don’t know what it is about him, but I feel so close to him.”
“Kelsey, I’m so glad you have found someone you can connect with. Believe me I truly am—but please, please be careful. I don’t want to see you hurt. I mean Kane’s a big guy and all but if he were to ever hurt my girl do not doubt the fact that I would be all over him like spider monkey.”
I laughed and hugged her. That was my Jessi. She may have been the size of a Chihuahua but she had the attitude of a Pit Bull.
After we got ready, we headed out to grab a quick bite to eat before classes. We were laughing about some crazy story that Jessi had just told me when I looked up and found Kane at the bottom of the stairs to our dorm. He was leaning against his motorcycle with a coffee tray in one hand and a small bag in the other.
“He comes baring gifts. I like him already,” Jessi said as she playfully bumped my hip with hers.
Kane smiled as we approached and held the tray out for Jessi to take.
“I figured you ladies could use some coffee and a couple of muffins this morning,” he said, but he never took his eyes off me. My cheeks were becoming sore from the obscene amount of smiling I had been doing these past few days.
Taking me by surprise, Kane leaned in a placed a slow kiss on my cheek. My eyes shifted to Jessi who mouthed the words “so cute” back to me.
“Well, since I’m feeling a little third wheel-ish here, I’m going to go and see if I can meet up with Landon before class. I’ll see you guys later. Love you, Kels,” Jessi said as she handed me coffee from the tray. She blew me a kiss, then retreated in the other direction.
“Thank you for the coffee. We were just headed out for some before class actually.”
“Well why don’t I walk you to your class while you drink your coffee?”
I nodded and we began the short walk to my first class. Half way there I felt Kane’s hand slide down my arm before he interlaced his fingers with mine. The butterflies erupted in my stomach like a volcano and I suppressed the huge grin on my face with a quick sip of my warm coffee.
The walk to class had seemed a lot shorter than normal, but a lot of that may have had to do with the fact that I wasn’t ready to let go of Kane’s hand yet.
Approaching the door to my class, Kane gave my hand a small tug, pulling me back to him where he immediately covered my mouth with his. I could taste the coffee on his tongue. Best way to have morning coffee…ever!
When the kiss was over, Kane rested his forehead against mine and sighed.
“I had to do that. I couldn’t wait any longer. After the dream I had last night all I could think about doing was getting to you this morning and kissing you.”
“Well that must have been some dream,” I joked.
“You have no idea.” He finally pulled back to look at me.
As I stared into those beautiful gray eyes of his, I couldn’t help but wonder how did I get here? How could someone as attractive and as personable as Kane want anything to do with sheltered and broken me? I didn’t want to dwell on those thoughts too much because I wanted him. I wanted him to want me—but for this to actually be happening was all a little surreal.
One final kiss from Kane and I made my way into class. He waited at the door until I was seated at my desk before sending a sly smile my way. He then slowly backed away from the door, disappearing from my sight. I shook my head trying to clear the thoughts of soft lips and lip rings from my mind, but it was no use. This was going to be a long class.
After class I packed my things up and walked out the door. I was grabbed from behind and let out a yelp, but when the familiar coolness of metal touched my neck, I knew exactly who had me.
“How is it that you always manage to walk me to class and still be waiting for me when class is over?” I asked as I turned in his arms to face him.
He shrugged. “What can I say, my professors love me.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Cocky much?”
Slinging his arm around my shoulder he shrugged. “Nah. Just confident.”
We made our way to class after class. Kane always walking me to them, and waiting for me after. We were always touching each other in some way on the walks. Whether it be holding hands, or his arm around my shoulders and mine around his waist. I caught a few dirty looks from some girls and noticed some of the guys checking us out. I know what they were all thinking. What was Kane doing with her?
Lunch was pretty much uneventful. Kane had me go ahead and take a seat at the table while he went and filled a try for us. Surprisingly, he actually picked out food that I would eat.
“How did you know what I would want?” I raised my brow at him.
Shrugging, he said, “I got what sounded good, and honestly you don’t really eat like a girl, remember? You kinda eat like a dude, so I got what I would eat.”
I laughed at the memory of that first lunch day. I guess he was right, I did kind of eat like a guy.
After lunch, Jessi and Landon actually fell into step with Kane and me on the way to class. Jess kept sending me secret looks that screamed ‘Oh mah God! So cute.’ Which earned her a death glare from me. Kane and Landon talked about some big game that was happening this weekend, but sports were the one thing you would find me completely girly about. I didn’t understand them and I didn’t try to. Every time I tried to watch football I ended up losing the ball in all the commotion and just cheered when my section would cheer.
When we made it to the door to my class, Kane stopped and glanced inside before scooping me up in his arms, deeply kissing me. By the time he was done, I was a little kiss drunk and couldn’t even find the words to tell him
goodbye. I just stood there feeling like my head was surrounded by tiny stars and swirls, like those old cartoons when the characters would get bumped on the head. When I finally gathered my composure I entered the class and went right to my seat.
“Well, well, well. You two seem to be pretty cozy.” Jessi’s voice called to me and I turned in my seat too look at her. She had her chin perched on her fist and was batting her lashes at me.
“Hush,” I mumbled.
“What? I’m just stating the obvious. I have never even seen you kiss anyone since, what, freshman year when you kissed Walker Philips at Katy Allen’s pool party?”
I gasped and leaned closer to her. “You said you would never bring that up again! You know he pretty much assaulted me. Practically licking my entire face in the process!”
I cringed from the memory. Jessi had begged me go to that party. Before everything had happened with my mom, Jessi, Katy, and I used to have sleepovers every other weekend. A few nights before the party when her and her parents thought I was sleeping, I overheard them talking down the hall from my room.
They were talking about how they were worried about me. How since my mother’s death I was secluding myself and I was holding in all my grief because I wouldn’t talk about that night with anyone. Not them, not Jessi, and not the stupid therapist everyone said I should see.
I didn’t want to relive that night, and every time I talked about it … I did. Every time I closed my eyes I saw my mother’s cold blank stare and her purple lips gasping for air. No, living through it once was enough. I would talk about that night as little as humanly possible for the rest of my life. But the next day when Jessi asked me to go with her to the party, I had agreed so maybe they would stop worrying.
I was sitting there, contemplating leaving early when Walker came over to talk to me. I was a little surprised he’d done so because this was around the time that people began to pull away from me. I was sitting on one of the lounge chairs in the back of the pool area picking at the pink polish on my nails when I felt a body plop down beside me. I thought it was Jessi at first but was met with the slight smell of alcohol and Walker’s lopsided grin.
“How’s it going, Kelsey? Haven’t seen you around much lately.”
“I’m at school every day, Walker. Just like you.”
I was trying to play nice and converse with him, but in all actuality I was annoyed. It had been months since he had even attempted to speak to me and now that he had a few beers in his system, he decided it was a good time to approach me?
“Yeah, but you’re not the same you that you were before.”
I glared at him. He had no idea how I was not the same me that I was before.
He placed his clammy hand on the bare skin of my thigh just below my shorts. I tried shaking off his hand but his sticky palm wouldn’t budge.
“Remember how it used be, Kel? Remember when you were dying to … oh shit. Maybe I shouldn’t have used that word.”
I had heard enough. I loved Jessi and her parents, but I couldn’t put up with this or these people for another second. I quickly got up, but when I tried to step around Walker’s legs he grabbed my wrist and tugged me down onto his lap.
“Oh come on, Kel, you know I didn’t mean it that way. All I’m trying to say is before all that went down, I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend.”
“Walker, believe me when I say this. You may have been planning on asking me to be your girlfriend, but you are quick to forget … that doesn’t mean I would have said yes.”
I made a move to stand again but he held firm to my waist and covered the bottom half of my face with his open mouth. It only took him about a minute to realize he was making out with my chin and by that time the damage was done. Someone saw us and yelled, “Kelsey and Walker is getting it on!”
I never thought I would live that day down. Thankfully, shortly after that is when everyone decided to avoid me like the plague and it was never spoken of again. Well, other than when Jessi would have a horrific make out experience and would always refer it to a “Walker Wash.”
“I know, I know. I couldn’t resist!” she laughed and held up both of her hands.
I huffed and turned around in my seat, vowing I would give her a silent treatment for the rest of class. We were still waiting on Professor Hanson to come out of her office when Nate knelt down on the other side of my desk.
“Hey,” he said with a nod. “When is the next study session? I’ve got a busy week and I just wanted to make sure that it wouldn’t fall on a day that I have something planned.”
“Oh, um, I think Jessi is pretty busy this week too. I’m free whenever though. So why don’t you just text me and we will work something out?”
“Sounds good. I will text you sometime this evening with the days and times I am free.” He paused for a minute and looked down at the floor. “So you and Kane, huh?”
I started at him for a minute, what kind of question was that? “Um, I’m not sure what you mean?” I was truly puzzled as to why he would even bring it up. Sure he had tried to “warn” me about Kane’s past indiscretions, but I was a big girl and could handle myself.
“Nothing. I just thought—ya know what? Never mind. I’ll talk to you later, Kelsey.” Then he got up and made his way back to his seat.
When I looked at Jessi, she was starting at me. I shrugged letting her know I had no clue what any of that was about and tried not to think about it the rest of class.
Nate texted me later that afternoon letting me know that he wouldn’t be able to study at all through the week. Something had come up, and the only day he would have free would be Sunday morning. That was one of the days that Jessi wouldn’t be available, but considering we still had a lot left to do—and let’s face it, Jessi wasn’t a huge contributor to the project anyway—I agreed to just meet on Sunday and work with Nate. I would just catch Jessi up on everything before we were to meet again.
Kane had stuff to do that afternoon so I spent my time catching up on some reading. I had always loved reading. It was a passion I had gotten from my mom. As far back as I could remember she had been reading to me.
I was reading full-length novels but the time I was in middle school—not those momma type novels, but ones based for my age—but my mom would always read whatever book I was reading, no matter how juvenile they were to what she was used to reading, just so we could talk and gush over our favorite parts and the people we hated most in the books. After she died, I didn’t think I would ever be able to pick up a book again.
The first book I finished after her death, I had laid in bed and cried for hours because I didn’t have her to talk to about it. I wanted to know what she would have thought when the heroine of the book found herself in a situation she never thought she would have. And I wanted to know when the lead couple shared their first kiss, if it gave her butterflies like it did me.
Reading was something I had to slowly work my way back to. I knew I needed to continue reading, no matter if it did hurt every time I finished a book. It was something we had shared a passion in and it was one thing that could keep me close to her in a way.
So I spent the afternoon lost in a fictional world where no matter how bad things got, they always worked out in the end. Nothing like real life, but it was always nice to get away for a while.
I hadn’t noticed I had fallen asleep until I opened my eyes and found the dorm room in complete darkness. I blindly felt for my phone and slid my finger across the screen to unlock it. I had a few text messages and a missed call from an unknown number with a voicemail.
I decided to read the texts first. The first one being from Jessi letting me know she wouldn’t be back until sometime later tonight. The next was from Kane telling me how work sucked and all he could think about was me. He had to go to work at the bar and get everything stocked up and ready for the big game this weekend. Because he was working through the week helping them prepare for the large numbers they would have this weekend, he was a
ble to have Saturday off.
I tapped out a quick reply to both of them, and then listened to the voicemail. It was weird because I never got unknown number calls. Maybe it was a telemarketer and the voicemail would be asking me if I wanted to subscribe to their home security system.
After putting in my passcode I listened to the robotic female voice tell me I had one new message. I pressed one to hear the new message but there was nothing there. Only the slight muffled sound of breathing that lasted a good minute or so before I heard a raspy chuckle and a click. I didn’t recognize the voice but it had sent chills down my spine and I immediately erased the message and went for a shower.
After my shower I was sitting at my desk in my pink robe, contemplating ordering a pizza when there was a knock at the door. I slowly made my way across the room, still leery after that creepy voicemail. I slowly pulled back my door just enough to peak at who was on the other side. Sighing with relief, I drew the door the rest of the way open and took in Kane standing there in a black wife beater—which left his tats on full display. He was wearing a pair of lighter jeans that hung low on his hips and he had his black ball cap covering a black bandanna and his trusted aviators perched on top of them. In his hands were two take out boxes.
I smiled and leaned against my door. “Thought you would be working late?”
He shrugged and returned my smile. “I worked my ass off to finish up early. Thought you might be hungry.”
Oh boy was I ever, and the smell coming from those tiny bags in his hands was enough to make me rub my chin and check for drool. I stepped back a little and motioned for him to come on in.
Kane came in and went and had a seat on my bed. After I closed the door I realized I had a boy … in my room ... all alone. And on top of that, I was standing here with said boy, wearing nothing but a fluffy pink robe. Automatically I clutched my already tightly closed robe just a little bit tighter.
Cleaning my throat I said, “Um, I’m just going to throw some close on.”