Illegal Motion: Boys of Fall

by Erin Nicholas

  “Take me like this the first time.” He lifted her top leg and surged into her from behind.

  “Oh God,” she gasped. Even if it wasn’t as deep and hard as it would be in another position, she felt stretched and full. So full. This was exactly what she wanted and needed. To be filled. To no longer be empty—not her time, not her home, not her bed. Not her body and not her heart.

  There had been a huge missing piece in all of the above and now she was here, complete again.

  A niggle of guilt got to her. She’d felt that missing piece even when Garrett had been there. But she shut it down and focused all of her attention on the hard, hot body behind her.

  The body that wasn’t moving. Carter was holding her tightly to him, his arm like a steel band around her. He had his face buried in her hair and she felt his hot breath against the back of her neck. But he didn’t move so much as his pinky finger.

  She put her hand over his on her stomach. “Carter?”

  “Just…” She heard him swallow hard. “Give me a second.”

  His voice was tight, like the words were difficult.

  “Are you okay?” She wanted to turn. She wanted to see his face.

  But then she felt the soft puff of air and heard his quiet laugh. “Jesus, no I’m not okay. I’m afraid if I so much as blink, I’m going to come.”

  She relaxed into him. Then she flexed her inner muscles around him.

  He tensed—which she would have thought was impossible with how tightly he’d been holding himself.

  “So you don’t want another orgasm?” he asked, his hand twitching under hers. “Because do that again and I’m just gonna pound through my own and not worry about you, brat.”

  She couldn’t help the little giggle that escaped. “You don’t think you can get me there too? And I thought you were supposed to be this big stud in the bedroom.”

  Lacey barely got the words out before his hand slid down and he pressed his middle finger against her clit. “You’re playing with fire, girl,” he said in a low warning voice that made her wet.

  Feeling naughty and happy, and so damned grateful for feeling happy again, she squeezed him with her inner muscles. “Prove it,” she taunted.

  His finger started circling and she had to bite her lip to keep from moaning. He couldn’t see her face either so he wouldn’t know how she was reacting. She decided that this was a game she was going to have fun with. And fun was something else that had been sorely absent from her life. For just a second she was torn between crying, laughing and moaning.

  But she didn’t care. All of those feelings meant something she hadn’t felt in far too long…she was alive.

  “Well, that’s nice, but…”

  She knew the breathlessness in her voice gave her away, but Carter seemed very willing to go along with it.

  “You think I don’t know how to play you, Lace?” he asked huskily. “You really think that I don’t know exactly how to make you go off? And you honestly think I won’t do everything to make that happen before I take you hard and fast?”

  Every one of the words worked for her. She loved dirty talk. More, she loved the possessiveness and barely held restraint she heard in his voice.

  She flashed back to their night together. It had started with Carter there as an extra. Garrett was going to fuck her while Carter played with her—kissing her, playing with her nipples, talking dirty. But as things went on, suddenly Garrett had wanted Carter between her legs. He’d urged Carter to make her come with his mouth.

  Carter had immediately knelt at the end of the bed and pulled her butt toward him, spreading her legs wide. Garrett had stretched out beside her and had been the one to fondle her breasts and kiss her and talk to her. But his eyes had been firmly on Carter.

  He’d urged her on, telling her to come on Carter’s tongue, but it had been when Carter met her eyes, his gaze burning into hers, that she’d gone over the summit. She’d barely finished when Carter stood up between her legs, cock hard and proud.

  “If you don’t want me to fuck her, you better say so now,” Carter had said to Garrett, though his eyes stayed on Lacey.

  “Yes, do it. Fuck her,” Garrett had said.

  Lacey still remembered how the thrill of desire and anticipation had rushed through her.

  Carter had asked gruffly, “Lace?”

  She hadn’t been able to do more than nod.

  Without needing any further prompting, he’d taken her thighs in his hands and pulled her to him, her ass off the edge of the bed. Then he’d taken his cock in hand and lined it up and filled her in one hard thrust that had nearly set off another orgasm.

  The climb to the next climax hadn’t taken long. His thrusts had been deep and hard, exactly as she liked it, though how he’d known that, she had no idea. Wanting to make him as crazy as she felt, she’d lifted a hand to her breast, rolling and tugging the tip, her eyes locked on his.

  “You are the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve ever seen,” were the words that had sent her over with a loud cry. He’d followed right after, her name on his lips like a prayer.

  Now it was like that, but more somehow.

  “Show me,” she said, wiggling her ass against him, relishing the quick hiss from him.

  His finger picked up the pace and his other hand, underneath her against the bed, cupped her breast. At first he just brushed over it with his thumb, but when he put his mouth against her ear and said, “You said you’re all mine,” he also tugged on her nipple.

  She gasped, not sure if she should push forward toward his finger on her clit, or backward, against his cock.

  “Say it is, Lacey. Tell me all of this is mine.”

  “It’s all yours,” she managed, feeling the orgasm winding tight.

  “Which means that I can put my mouth, tongue, hands, fingers and cock anywhere I want, right?”

  It was the talking. Thank God he knew that. The exact words didn’t matter—all of the ones he’d just used worked great—but it was that low, gravely quality that snuck into his voice when he said them that pushed her closer and closer to the edge of bliss.

  “Yes. Anywhere. Everywhere,” she panted.

  “Any time I want, right? Because it’s all mine.”

  Mine. That one word. That was even better than fuck or cock or pussy.

  “Yes.”

  “And I can do it anywhere—here, the kitchen, the shower, the river, the hood of my car, my bike.”

  The reminder of his motorcycle took her two notches closer to her climax. She loved that thing. She’d never ridden on one until Carter, and she’d almost orgasmed right there on the seat, riding with her arms and legs around him, the wind flying past her face.

  “Yes, oh please do it on your bike.”

  He chuckled, and the sound of it also pushed her two notches closer.

  “Oh, honey, I’m going to do it in all of those places. Over and over. This sweet, greedy pussy needs lots of love.”

  It was such a crazy combination of dirty and sweet that she almost laughed, but then her orgasm was right there, hitting and washing over her, making her cry out and tremble in his arms.

  “Fuck yes,” he muttered as he began thrusting.

  His deep strokes kept the ripples going and all Lacey could do was grip his arm and hang on. As promised, he didn’t last long and soon he was filling her, his body shaking against hers, his breath hot against her ear.

  They lay pressed tightly together, limbs entwined, for several long minutes.

  Lacey had known coming to Quinn to find him had been the right thing to do, but now, laying in the aftermath of the crazy, hot, amazing sex that only Carter could deliver, she knew this had been the best decision she’d maybe ever made.

  And they needed to talk.

  “Carter,” she said, running her hand along his arm that was still draped over her hips.

  He cleared his throat, as if maybe he’d drifted off for a second. “Yeah?”

  “I want to stay.”
/>   She didn’t feel his body tense against her, and for a moment she wondered if he’d heard her. Or if he’d understood her.

  “Yeah, you should stay,” he finally said.

  She shifted to roll and this time he let her.

  He wasn’t looking at her with love or excitement. He looked resigned.

  But he’d said she should stay, so she was going to focus on that.

  She put her hand against his cheek. “I want to be here with you.”

  He nodded, the scruff on his cheek rubbing against her palm. “It’s a good idea.”

  Lacey had to admit that she was surprised at that. “It is?”

  He swallowed. “We didn’t have a chance to go through the grief period together. I think we both needed that. I think we need some closure on our relationship and feelings for Garrett.”

  It was strange. She’d just been thinking of Garrett. He hadn’t been far from her thoughts since she’d gotten here. Or really at all in the past six months. But hearing Carter say his name right now, in this moment when she was talking about them—her and him—was jarring.

  “You think so?”

  “We didn’t even talk after he died, Lace,” Carter said gently. “I didn’t get to hold you. We didn’t cry together. We didn’t have that chance to get to where we were sharing stories and memories and smiling about what we had with him. That’s an important place to get to in the grief process.”

  She had to admit he had a point. She’d talked to Garrett’s sister, mom and dad. She’d talked to her own sister and parents and a few friends. She’d even met with a counselor a couple of times over all of the mixed-up feelings. But no one knew Garrett like Carter and no one was mourning Garrett like she was except for this man.

  “You think that I’m here because I want to grieve?” she asked.

  He looked her directly in the eye. “I think that you need to grieve if you want to move on.”

  She didn’t dare ask if he meant moving on with him or just in general. But he did seem genuinely concerned about her and that warmed her.

  “You reminded me too much of him,” she said. “And seeing you at the funeral stirred up so many feelings—like guilt. And anger.”

  “Because I left.”

  She nodded. “Yes. And it took Garrett dying to bring you back.” She felt a tiny surge of anger even in that moment.

  He pulled a breath in through his nose. “I was an asshole. But it’s important that you remember that, Lacey. I don’t really know how to have positive, long-lasting, be-there-through-it-all relationships.”

  She realized he was warning her off and fortunately she’d expected it. Or that would have hurt.

  The thing was, just like the night they’d first had sex, Carter was going to quickly realize that he knew her well…but he didn’t know everything. Like how tenacious she could be, especially when it came to the happiness of people she cared about. She’d been her grandfather’s advocate for years—with others, including her own family, healthcare providers, and insurance companies, and even with him. When he didn’t think he needed help or when he refused to do what he needed to do to take care of himself. She knew how to fight for what was right. Helping run a nonprofit for mental health meant she knew a lot about people throwing up obstacles to avoid doing something difficult, even if it was right. Being with Carter in every way, for the long term, was what would make him happy, and she would fight tooth and nail for that. But even more, it was what would make her happy, and she would never stop fighting for that.

  “Well, it just so happens, I know a lot about being there no matter what,” she said, running her hand over his chest. “I’ll teach you.”

  She saw his jaw tighten and him swallow hard again. But his tone was gentle when he said, “You’re giving me your body. And I’m too damned weak to say no to that. So I’m going to grab on and absolutely exhaust both of us, fucking you in every single way I can think of. Twice. But that’s free now.”

  Lacey frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “I can’t take what isn’t free.”

  She pulled back to look at him better. “What’s not free to be taken?”

  “Your heart, Lace.”

  “But…” She shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts. “I’ll always love Garrett, of course. But a heart has an infinite ability to love, Carter. And I’ve always loved you. That’s not new.”

  He didn’t say anything for a few seconds. When he finally did, she wished he hadn’t.

  “But I haven’t always loved you, Lacey.”

  She flinched. “Yes, you have.”

  “I’ve loved…all of us. You and me and Garrett. The way things were. Our friendship and the things we did together and yes, the sex. That was the best of my life.”

  He paused then, as if he was letting his words sink in.

  And they did.

  “The sex with Garrett and me, that was the best of your life?”

  “He was my best friend. I loved him. It wasn’t physical between us, but that connection, that sharing, that was something I’ll never find again.”

  He was lying. She was almost sure of it. Well, not lying exactly but exaggerating. Yes, he’d loved Garrett and the connection the three of them had would be impossible to replicate. But that wasn’t everything he felt. She knew it.

  She felt the sting of tears anyway.

  “It was so good because of Garrett?” she clarified. Was it possible that her feelings of connection with Carter were one-sided?

  “And you,” Carter said, running his hand over her hip. “The two of you. I’ll never find that combination again. Feeling the way I did about Garrett and seeing you with him, and then how much I wanted and cared about you, and seeing him pleasuring you… I can’t explain it. It was just so damned good. And there’s no way I’ll be able to find that again.”

  She hated everything about that. Which was stupid. If Garrett was still here, all of that would be perfect and amazing and exactly how she would want things.

  But he wasn’t.

  And she wanted, needed, to be loved. Like she’d felt she was when she was with Carter and Garrett together.

  Was it possible that they did need Garrett to be everything they could be? To be complete?

  And if so, that was over. Forever.

  She couldn’t take the doubts. She’d come here determined to grab on to Carter and how she felt and what they could have together and not let go.

  But she hadn’t even been alone with him for five minutes since Garrett’s death before showing up in the trench coat.

  Maybe he was right.

  A cold chill went through her and she shivered.

  “Here, cover up.”

  He started to pull the sheet up over her but she pushed away. “No. Um. Maybe I’ll just take a shower.”

  Carter let her go. “Okay. Everything you need should be in there.”

  She just needed a minute by herself. She needed to think through everything. And figure out what she wanted to do next.

  Then she needed to figure out what Carter wanted to do next.

  She padded naked to the bathroom door. It didn’t even occur to her to be self-conscious until she turned back.

  He was watching her with a renewed heat in his eyes that she felt from clear across the room. Was it possible to have that heat and only that heat?

  “Do you have a guest room?” she asked.

  He looked surprised for a moment, then he nodded. “Yes.”

  “I can stay in there,” she offered.

  He looked almost angry but he gave her a hot look and said, “You agreed that your sweet body is mine.”

  Damn. For a second she couldn’t breathe. So she nodded.

  “And that I could have it anywhere, anytime I wanted,” he added.

  She was getting hot and wet all over again. She nodded.

  “And I want you in this bed. Every night you’re here, and some days too. Got it?”

  She nodded, wondering if she look
ed like an idiot.

  “So go shower. But do not get yourself off in there.”

  Her eyes widened. “I wouldn’t—”

  “Well, I certainly hope you do sometimes,” he said with a half grin. “I’ve surely pictured it. While I’m getting myself off.”

  She moaned as that image came fully to mind.

  His grin grew.

  “But you’re not going to do that now. Shower. Breathe. And then get back in here. Don’t bother with any clothes.”

  If he hadn’t added the “breathe” she wouldn’t have realized that he understood she needed some time and space. Maybe he did too.

  She nodded again. “Okay.”

  Sleeping in his arms was a temptation she couldn’t pass up. More sex before sleeping in his arms was something her body was already preparing for, seemingly.

  She slipped down the hall and into the bathroom, closed the door and leaned against it, doing the most important thing on his list of commands.

  She just breathed.

  Chapter Five

  He was so fucked.

  Carter’s smile died the moment Lacey left his bedroom.

  What the fuck was wrong with him?

  Telling her that the sex had been amazing because of Garrett? The guy he’d wanted to throw out of the bedroom at least three times before Carter had simply forgotten he was there at all?

  And if that hadn’t been eating at him ever since, not to mention after Garrett died, now that he had fucked Lacey, all on his own and enjoyed every damned second of it, he felt like a complete dick. Because he didn’t feel bad about it.

  But now he was using Garrett as the reason to only fuck her?

  That was…beyond dick.

  What was he doing?

  At least he’d been honest when he told her that he was no good at the long-term, unconditional-relationship thing. And he’d been honest when he said that he’d been happy with their threesome in many ways. They definitely had found a connection that he’d never find again. He couldn’t imagine loving two people the way he’d loved Lacey and Garrett. He’d been trying to wrap his head around how it would work long term, if they were all living together, monogamous—if you could call it that when you were sharing a woman with your best friend—and public about it. But more than what other people would think, he’d been wondering if he could really do it. He’d been afraid it would be awkward living with and having sex with Garrett there when he knew that Garrett had sexual feelings for him. He’d also been afraid that sharing Lacey would start to be a problem.