Chapter Eight
“You had fun with Annabelle?” Carter asked.
Lacey was sitting on a stool across from where Carter was cooking. The stovetop was set into the island in the middle of the kitchen with a huge expanse of marble on all sides, making it the perfect cooking space.
He was making fajitas.
And she loved him even more for it.
She reached out and snagged a piece of red pepper from the plate where he had all the ingredients ready for cooking. “Yeah, she’s great.”
“How many daiquiris did you have?” he asked.
Lacey grinned. “Only two.”
He laughed. “You took a long nap when you got back.”
“Well, that might not have been just because of the daiquiris. I was up late last night.”
He gave her a wink and her heart tripped.
This was a different man than she’d expected to come home to. Things had been intense that morning and she’d known he hadn’t wanted to take her to the coffee shop. He’d been guarded the whole time they’d been there, even though they’d been with his friends. And it had been obvious he didn’t want anyone to know about her and Garrett.
But she didn’t regret what she’d said to him. She wasn’t going to miss out on a great love because the man was stubborn and feeling guilty.
She knew that he would have been okay with her spending only the weekend in Quinn and not leaving the house, or getting dressed, until she got in her car to go back to San Antonio. But she wanted, needed, more and she really believed that being the one to give her what she needed was what Carter needed too.
If she had left, she’d like to think he would have resumed his trips to San Antonio on weekends to see her. She’d like to think that now that they’d seen each other again, he wouldn’t be able to resist phone calls and funny text messages like they used to have. She’d like to think the desire to see her as often as possible would have been too much to resist.
But she’d realized sometime between leaving her apartment in San Antonio and driving down Main Street, Quinn, next to Carter that she wasn’t going back to San Antonio. Her family was there. But she could visit. What she really wanted and needed was here.
“What did you talk about for all that time?” Carter asked as he transferred the veggies into the pan to sauté them.
The question seemed casual but she knew it wasn’t. He wanted to know what she’d told Annabelle about them.
She and Annabelle had talked for almost two hours. They’d had a really nice time. They hadn’t talked about anything heavy. There had been no talk of Garrett’s death or her relationship with Garrett or Carter or them both. Lacey suspected that Annabelle knew there had been something going on between all three of them but she hadn’t asked. True to her word, she’d told stories of high school, and even some before high school. She’d grown up in Quinn and had known Garrett and Carter her whole life. She’d even pulled out old yearbooks.
“I heard about the time you were caught making out with the head cheerleader in Coach’s office,” she said.
Carter chuckled. “Randi,” he said. “She dared me.”
“And she’s the local mechanic?” Lacey asked.
“Yep. She can fix anything with a motor.”
Lacey had to admit she was impressed by that. She knew nothing about cars. “So she was kind of a tomboy?” she asked. That didn’t seem like Carter’s type. At least not if Lacey was Carter’s type. She was definitely not a tomboy.
Carter laughed and slid the vegetables onto a platter, adding the steak to the pan next. “Uh, I guess kind of. She knows more about football than a lot of the guys on the team. She’s a mechanic. She swears like a sailor and can probably drink a lot of my friends under the table. But she was still girlie somehow. Head cheerleader. Favorite color is purple. Always looks amazing.”
Lacey frowned, feeling a twinge of jealousy that was stupid. “You like her.”
He looked up. He read something in her expression and smiled. “I do like her. I’ve known her since preschool. She’s a great girl. And,” he added, bracing his hands on the counter and pinning her with an intent look, “if I wanted to be with her, I would be. We messed around in high school a few times. Just like every other girl here, no one interested me long term.”
She liked that. And knew her jealousy was stupid. Of course Carter had been with women before her. Hell, even during the year she’d known him and had been with Garrett. But she’d never thought about him being serious with anyone. Because she’d been unable to imagine her life without him.
“Because you never thought you wanted to be long term with anyone at all,” she said.
He nodded. “Except you.”
Her heart thumped hard against her ribs. That was what she wanted to hear. “You do want to be with me long term?”
“More than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life, Lace.”
She felt tears sting her eyes. “Carter, I—”
“And that’s what scares me about it.”
“Scares you? Why?”
“There’s just…stuff you don’t know.”
She pressed her lips together and absorbed that. She shouldn’t be surprised, probably, but she was. “I thought I knew you really well.”
“You do. But there are things I didn’t want you to know. Things you didn’t need to know.”
“And I didn’t need to know why you felt the way you did about long-term relationships because you didn’t think we’d ever have one.”
He didn’t divert his gaze or sugarcoat it. He just nodded.
“Will you tell me now?” she asked.
“Yes. Because I want you to know it’s not because I don’t want it.” He took a deep breath. “I might want it too much.”
Lacey smiled in spite of the fact that he was essentially still holding back. “We’re both going to make mistakes, Carter. But if we want this, that’s what matters.”
He took a long, deep breath and nodded. “I can try. Later. Let’s eat first.”
Her stomach rumbled on cue. “You have a soft spot for a stray cat and you can cook,” she said. “What more can I ask for?”
He looked like he was going to respond to that, but instead he smiled. “Stray cats and fajitas. Easy.”
They had a wonderful dinner—Carter really was a great cook—and as they moved out onto his back patio with their coffee and he turned the gas on in the built-in fire pit, Lacey realized how much this was like their weekends on Garrett’s back patio.
And it didn’t make her sad, just a little sentimental.
Their conversation was easy and nonspecific at first. She curled up on the reclining patio chair and Carter took the chair next to her. They both watched the flames as they talked and laughed and fell into comfortable silences.
The air was cool enough that the fire felt great but she didn’t need a jacket and Lacey felt herself relaxing into the chair and growing drowsy. It had been only twenty-four hours since she’d shown up in Quinn but it felt as if she’d been here for a month or more. It just all felt right.
Carter lifted a remote control, turning it to see it in the firelight, and then hit a button. Music floated over the patio from hidden speakers.
“Nice,” she said. She paused to listen. Then laughed. “Just happens to be Eric Church?” she asked.
He chuckled too. “Pure coincidence.”
She rolled her head to look at him. “You don’t need Eric Church music to make me horny, Carter.”
“I know that.”
“I forgot who I was talking to—Mr. Confident himself.”
“But I heard that three Eric Church songs in and you’re bare naked and ready to go.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “You heard that, huh?”
He grinned unapologetically. “Not that I’m surprised. I know that you’ve had four orgasms a week, minimum, ever since you turned twenty-one.”
“You remember me saying that?” She’d confessed that a long time ag
o. “That was when my friends took me to that sex store for my birthday and got me my first vibrator.”
Carter groaned. “Do you know how hard that night was?”
She giggled. “No pun intended?”
“Totally intended,” he said. “That was the first night I jerked off thinking about you.”
She sat up straighter in the chair. “Really?”
“I’d resisted up ’til then, just thinking it was wrong to do that when you were Garrett’s girl, but damn, I never would have gotten any sleep.”
“I love that story,” she breathed.
He looked over at her. “It was the first of many times after that. Kind of like the dam broke.”
She knew what he meant. She’d had some fantasies going herself.
“We had some of the craziest conversations,” she said. “I was always amazed at the things you and Garrett could get me to talk about. I wondered for a while if he put weed on the fire or something.”
Carter grinned. “Does weed make you talkative?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Never tried it. I’m pretty talkative anyway.”
He nodded. “Garrett always steered those conversations if you think about it. You and I participated, but he always started them.”
Thinking about it now, she realized he was right. “He was always trying to make it sexual with us. I thought it was because he liked getting me worked up like that before bedtime.”
“I’m sure that was some of it,” Carter said dryly. “God, the first night I stayed over and didn’t bring my earphones was hell.”
She gasped and reached out to swat his arm. “Stop it. We weren’t loud.”
“No, you two weren’t loud. You were loud.”
She blushed but laughed. “Nuh-uh.”
“Lacey, you’re loud in bed. And it’s the best stuff I’ve ever heard.”
Just like that the moment got intense and heated.
“You brought your headphones after that?” she asked.
“I didn’t always use them.”
“So you listened? And jerked off?”
He gave her a sexy half smile and her stomach flipped as her whole body got hot.
“And I’ll have you know, I outlasted both of you,” he said.
She laughed. “Duly noted.”
He turned back to look at the fire and took a drink of coffee. “God, you were insatiable. Every night, every time I was in town.”
She bit her lip for a moment, not sure if she should tell him what she was about to say. In the end, she blurted, “Because you were in town.”
He looked over again. “What?”
“I mean, we had sex when you weren’t in town of course,” she said. “But I stayed over at his place and we had sex every night you were there because you were there.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Why?”
“Maybe because we were always drinking and laughing and having such fun. Or because the conversations always got naughty eventually. Or because I had this fantasy that you would hear us and come in and join us.”
She could feel the heat coming from him even over the two or three feet that separated their chairs.
“You have no idea how many times I thought about that.”
“But you never did.”
“I didn’t know…” He stopped. “That’s not true. I knew what would happen. It was the morning after that I wasn’t sure about.”
She got that. The morning after had finally happened and it hadn’t been the magical in-love-forever-in-a-threesome she’d fantasized about, that was for sure.
“Do you know what Garrett always said he liked best about you?” she asked after a moment.
“The fact that I never, not once, beat him in fantasy football?”
With a grin, she shook her head. “I mean physical feature.”
“You and Garrett talked about my physical features?”
“After everything. After he came out to me about being bi,” she said. “We flat-out talked about you like you were a piece of meat a few times.”
That startled a laugh out of him. “Is that right?”
“Yep. I’ve always loved your abs and ass. That night we were together, I almost came just running my hands over both.”
Carter coughed and sat up a little straighter. “Jesus, Lace.”
“Sorry. Suddenly shy?” she teased.
“No. I just…no.”
They sat quietly for a moment and Lacey made herself wait for him to ask her about Garrett.
“Okay, fine, what did he say?”
She grinned triumphantly. She’d known he’d be curious. “Your mouth.”
“My smile? That doesn’t sound like Garrett.”
She shook her head, still grinning. “He wasn’t talking about your smile, big shot. Your mouth.”
He sat up even straighter and stared at her.
She laughed at the look of shock on his face.
“I don’t want to know any more.”
She didn’t believe him. But she knew that he had to sift through all of it. She shrugged. “Okay. But if you change your mind—we said some really sweet stuff too.”
He sighed and sat back in his chair.
“And some downright raunchy, dirty stuff,” she added after a moment.
He grumbled something under his breath and Lacey cuddled back into her chair, feeling light and happy. It felt good to talk about Garrett and have it not be sad or serious. He would have liked them joking like this. The teasing, the fire pit, the stars that seemed a million times brighter here than in the city, all seemed so familiar and yet new. In a good way.
“So what did you do while I was at Annabelle’s?” she asked, watching the fire dance.
He didn’t respond for a beat, then said, “Took care of something for…work…for a bit, went to the store for dinner stuff and came home.”
“I suppose you’re on twenty-four-seven as a cop in a small town.”
“Yeah, seems that way sometimes. But this was…”
He trailed off and she looked over at him. “It was what?”
“It had to do with my dad.”
Suddenly her drowsiness disappeared. There was something in his tone that alerted her this was important. “Okay.”
He was still studying the flames and Lacey turned in her chair to do the same rather than looking at him, hoping that might make it easier for him to open up.
“My mom left when I was two. My dad was madly in love with her, crazy, over-the-top in love. He adored her, worshipped her, lived for her. She was a free spirit and didn’t believe in marriage. Believed that marriage was nothing more than a piece of paper and had nothing to do with a real committed relationship. So they never did it officially.”
He paused to take a drink of his coffee and Lacey made herself keep all of her questions inside.
It was tough.
“They were together for a couple of years before I was born and everything was great, I guess. That’s what everyone says anyway. My dad won’t even say her name.”
Lacey was proud of the way she casually sipped her coffee and kept her seat even when she felt as if something was pulling her to go put her arms around him.
“Anyway, after that, my dad was pretty messed up about relationships with women. He was always good to me. We had a great time together. But I had three stepmothers before I was fifteen.”
“Whoa.” Lacey couldn’t help blurting the word out but quickly pressed her lips together and motioned for him to go on.
He gave her a little smile that made her breathe easier though.
“I didn’t really understand all the issues until my third stepmom left and I started paying attention. Dad is…always has been…really…desperate, I guess, about women. He goes overboard on everything. First date, Valentine’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries, proposals. Crazy, romantic, expensive stuff. He’ll do anything for the woman he’s currently in love with.”
Lacey was fascinated. She couldn’t help it. “But
he falls out of love easily too?” she asked.
Carter laughed at that. “Oh Jesus, no. He’s all in one hundred and ten percent forever.”
“So why all the women?”
“He drives them crazy.” Carter sighed. “He’s romantic and sweet until he gets them down the aisle. Then he’s clingy and jealous and controlling. They’re bound to him then, or so he thinks, and he believes he’s in love with them but he’s so damned scared of them leaving that he becomes obsessed with making them happy.”
“That sounds…” Lacey wasn’t sure.
“Right?” Carter said. “Like how can it be bad that he wants them to be happy? But he wants to be the center of their universe like he’s made them the center of his.”
“And eventually they can’t take it anymore,” Lacey guessed.
“And then he does absolutely everything in his power to keep them from leaving him. It gets seriously crazy. And I clean a lot of it up. As a cop, I’m able to, and I like to keep as much private as I can. Though in Quinn, you can imagine a lot of it gets out.”
“Clean it up how?” Lacey asked.
“Believe it or not, I’ve helped two women get restraining orders against my dad. I’ve arrested him for violating one of them. I’ve physically restrained him while a woman moved out on him. That kind of stuff.”
“Wow.” Lacey sank back in her chair. “I’m sorry you have to do all that.”
“It’s one of the reasons I moved back to Quinn,” he said. “I thought maybe I could keep his craziness under control.”
They sat for a few quiet seconds, each thinking.
“The other reason was you.”
She whipped her head to look at him. “I’m the other reason you moved back here?”
“Yep.”
“But…why? It was so fun. We saw you so much more often. You and Garrett were so close.”
“Exactly. It was too much. Seeing you together, feeling the way I did, sensing where Garrett wanted it to go. When he confronted me about my feelings and offered to share you, I knew I needed to get some distance.”
Lacey wrapped her arms around herself and thought about that. It kind of hurt, frankly.
After a moment Carter went on. “If I thought I could have given you what you wanted, I would have stayed. But I knew you were the marrying type, Lace.”
Illegal Motion: Boys of Fall Page 12