by Amy Sumida
I realized that he was right; the RS was gone, which meant that it was no longer necessary for me to take multiple lovers. But that didn't change the fact that I loved all of my consorts. It may, however, change the way they felt about our relationship. Without the Rooster Spell, would the men be okay with sharing me, or would they demand that I choose one of them?
“It doesn't matter!” Darc raged, and thunder boomed outside the palace. “They are lost to you now!”
I didn't have Kyanite to play music for me—Darc had muted him in my mind—but my magic would work without it. It would just be harder for me to focus. I would have blasted Darc with a one-liner, but I wasn't sure if that would have enough power to affect a god. So, I decided to go with a full song and started to sing “Release Me” by Wilson Phillips. The slow, steady tune wasn't hard to sing a capella, and I found myself sinking into the bittersweet lyrics. The magic rose inside me and shot straight toward Darcraxis.
Darc smiled viciously. “Do you really think that your magic will have any effect on me? I cannot be swayed by your song, Spellsinger; my mind is ancient—more powerful than you can imagine!”
Dark clouds rolled across the sun in seconds; turning day into night. Lightning flashed across the black expanse and illuminated Darc's face in a chilling way. My stomach clenched with fear as the full weight of my situation sank in. I had released a god who I had once loved, but I wasn't a goddess anymore. I remembered loving Darc, but was a memory of love the same as the reality of it?
“It is the same,” he snarled into my face. “You are the same soul, Faenestra! This is what I was seeking to avoid; this confusion. I knew that you were buried within your new flesh. I knew that these attachments you formed would be difficult to sever. But I didn't realize how deep your denial would go.”
“Are you reading my mind?” I whispered in horror.
“Of course!” Darc waved his hand up in frustration. “I'm a god, Faenestra; your mind is no match for me.”
“My name is Elaria!” I shouted at him. “And if you dare fuck with my mind again, the next time I remember who I really am, I will castrate you. And when you grow it back, I'll cut it off again!”
Darcraxis stared at me; his eyes going wide as his chest heaved. Then he drew a hand over his face and groaned.
“I don't know what to do,” he whispered. “I have waited an eternity for you to come back to me. And now, here you are, but you don't want me anymore. What has this flesh done to you?”
I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as I considered him. Darcraxis was right; I could say that a memory of love wasn't the same as love in the present, but I'd be wrong. What were we, if not an accumulation of memories; of thoughts and emotions and experiences that affect them? My soul had remembered Banning once and fighting against that love hadn't worked out so well. I had a feeling that fighting my soul's love for a god—a god who had once been my first and only love—was impossible. But giving up Torin, Banning, Declan, and Gage was just as impossible.
“I can give you the world—any world,” Darcraxis said softly. “I can unlock the Fire inside you, and we can form new worlds together if you wish. I can take you beyond this body and show you magnificent things. Whatever you desire, wherever you wish to go, and whoever you want to be; you can have it with me. What can they give you?”
“They give me themselves, but it's not about giving or taking,” I said. “It's about feeling. I can't change the way I feel, and you can't either; no matter how many times you make me forget them.”
“But you loved me first,” he insisted. “That love is greater than the others. How can you toss us aside when you aren't even certain that they'll want you anymore?”
“They'll want me,” I growled. “They love me as much as I love them.”
“But they won't want to share you anymore,” Darc said fiercely. “Not without that spell in place.”
“We'll see about that,” I said. “Take me back, Darcraxis.”
“No.” He shook his head. “You're home now, Elaria. This is where you'll stay.”
“You want me to love you? You want me to choose you?” I asked. “Then let me go. If you hold me here against my will; all you'll have is my anger.”
“If I let you go, I won't have anything,” he countered. “At least with you here, I may see you and be in your presence.”
“You move across space in an instant,” I pointed out. “You can see me anytime you wish.”
“And watch you with those other men?” He scoffed. “No; I'd rather not.”
“At least then I'd be open to exploring what's between us.”
Darc frowned and considered me. “You would allow me to visit you? Spend time with you?”
“You can visit me,” I said. “I can't promise anything more, but I will say that you have a hold on my heart. I don't want to leave you, but I know that if I stay, my love for you will turn into hate.”
“I could not bear that,” Darcraxis whispered. “So be it. I will take you back, Elaria.”
Chapter Six
Darcraxis took me to my house in Hawaii; right onto the back lawn. It was night there but the moon shone bright enough to light our path to the back door. The door was unlocked and sand was tracked through the living room. I wandered up the stairs with Darcraxis following me. My bedroom door was thrown open and the bathroom light was on. I turned it off but not before I saw my backpack lying in the tub.
“Kyanite?” I called to my stone. “What happened? Where are they?”
There was no response. Right; I forgot about Darc muting him. I narrowed my eyes at Darcraxis, and he grimaced.
“Fine,” he huffed.
A shiver of magic coasted over me, and Kyanite roared in my head, My love!
Kyanite! Where are they?
I don't fucking know; I'm not omniscient! Maybe you should ask your husband.
You can access the memories of any piece of kyanite, I reminded him.
You want me to randomly search every shard of kyanite in all the worlds? Kyanite asked with annoyance.
Okay, fine; you're right.
I may be able to talk to Onyx, though, he amended. And I can take a listen around Kyanite Castle. Perhaps someone has heard from them.
Thank you.
I'm just relieved that you're back, he said. You are back, right?
Yes; I'm back.
Good. Kyanite's presence faded away.
“I will stay with you until you locate them.” Darc wandered over to the bed and sat down.
“I don't know if that's such a good idea,” I said.
“I'll meet them eventually,” he reasoned. “Why not now?”
“Because right now they're going to want to kill you,” I said grimly.
Darcraxis shrugged. No; I suppose that wouldn't worry him.
They're at Coven Cay, Kyanite said; making me jump. Why don't you have your god fly you over since you seem to be missing your traveling stone and contact charm?
Did you know? I asked Kyanite; ignoring his snarky tone. Did you choose me because you knew that I was a goddess?
I didn't know who you were exactly, but I felt the power in you and knew you were special, Kyanite admitted. I was just as shocked as you were to learn your true identity... Faenestra.
Don't call me that.
As you like, my Goddess.
I groaned inwardly.
“Do you wish me to take you to the witches?” Darc asked as he stood.
“Stop reading my mind!”
“I can't help it,” he said calmly. “You think loudly.”
“Loudly,” I muttered. “Yeah; I've heard that before.”
“The merman; Danyon, I believe.” Darcraxis nodded. “Yes; he gave you good advice.”
“You really have seen everything, haven't you?” I asked in horror.
“Everything to do with you,” he confirmed. “I have done nothing but watch you for all of these years.”
“Well, that's fucking creepy,” I muttered.
/>
“What else was I to do?” He scowled at me. “I was imprisoned in my own Darkness; the only sight I had was through your eyes.”
“We were connected that closely, even while we were separated?” I asked in surprise.
“We merged our souls, Elaria,” Darc said with a soft look. “There is no breaking that bond. You can mute it and stretch it, but not sever it.”
“You know what; I can take it from here,” I said as I spotted my necklace lying on the bathroom floor.
I didn't remember dropping it. Perhaps I'd taken it off while I was under Darc's sway. I bent down and fished the necklace out from under the sink and then held it up to show Darc my traveling stone and contact charm.
“In fact, I'm just going to call them,” I said as I stuck my contact charm in my ear.
You couldn't have found that before I went through all the trouble of locating the men? Kyanite grumbled.
I ignored Kyanite but widened my eyes at Darc pointedly.
“Now would be a good time for you to leave,” I said.
Darcraxis sighed as he stood and walked over to me. He seemed so large in my bedroom; even bigger than Griffin. He hadn't been so imposing in our—I mean his—palace. But now, he was a tad intimidating. I swallowed roughly, and my heart sped up as he drew closer.
“Don't ever fear me, Elaria,” Darc whispered. “Please; it hurts to see you look at me like that.”
“I'm not afraid of you,” I protested.
Darc smiled sadly but didn't challenge my lie. “Will you at least kiss me goodbye?”
Elaria...
Give me a damn second, Ky, I growled.
All right; have it your way.
I lifted my face to Darc. He slid his palm over my cheek and looked at me as if he were cataloging every detail. Then Darc slowly lowered his lips to mine. Passion ignited instantaneously between us. I groaned and pulled him closer even as he jerked me against his chest. My fingers were threaded through his hair, and his hands were roaming my body when a shocked voice interrupted us.
“What the fuck is this shit?!”
I jerked away from Darc to see Gage standing in the bedroom doorway. Gage looked haggard; his hair unkempt and his eyes sunken. But he instantly revived and started to growl as he launched himself at Darc.
As I was trying to say earlier; Gage is here, Kyanite announced smugly.
“Gage, no!” I shouted and tried to intercept him.
But it didn't matter; before Gage could even get close to Darc, he was stopped. As in; frozen. Darc hadn't moved or spoken; he only looked at Gage, and my griffin was paralyzed; hanging in midair and mid-leap. I gaped at the living statue of my lover and then glared at Darc.
“Let him go!” I shouted.
“He attacked me,” Darc pointed out. “At least, he tried to,” he added with a smirk.
“I told you that he would,” I snarled. “Now, let him go and leave, Darc.”
“We haven't finished saying farewell.” Darc smiled slowly at me.
“You're doing this for his benefit, and I don't appreciate it,” I said. “You may win a point for your pride but you'll lose several in my regard.”
“Fine.” Darc sighed.
Gage fell to the floor but clamored to his feet just as quickly. He started to growl again, but I grabbed him and pulled him into a hug.
“I'm here,” I whispered. “I'm all right.”
Gage melted against me, and as he buried his face in the curve of my neck, I shooed Darc away.
“Call my name, and I'll return,” Darc said before he disappeared.
“Ellie,” Gage whispered. “What happened to you? We felt the Rooster Spell break but we knew you had lived through it. We've been searching for you for five days.” Gage pulled back to look me over. He glanced in Darc's direction and scowled when he only found empty space. “And who the fuck was that?”
“It's a long story,” I whispered.
“Then you had best start telling it,” Gage growled.
“Let me call the others first,” I said. “I don't want to go through this twice.”
Gage grimaced but nodded. I replaced my contact charm in my ear and called for Torin.
Chapter Seven
“You're a what?” Banning gaped at me.
“It makes sense,” Declan whispered as he glanced at the other men. “Look at the way Elaria's collected power. It's almost as if magic is drawn to her.”
“As we are,” Torin murmured as he stared at me. “I sensed something in you from the moment we met, but I never imagined it could be...”
“Divinity?” Gage finished. “I'm not surprised in the least. Elaria has always seemed ethereal to me; a woman to be worshiped.”
“Very romantic,” Banning huffed. “But if you three could look beyond Elaria's new goddess status, perhaps you could see that we're fucked.”
Finally, someone's talking sensibly, Kyanite muttered in my mind.
We are not fucked.
Whatever you say, Great Goddess.
Shut up, asshole, I growled.
“It's worrisome to have this dangerous god free, but it seems as if he truly loves Elaria,” Torin pointed out. “He won't want to incur her wrath by hurting us or the Shining Ones.”
“Actually, there was a moment when I was fully Faenestra and I wanted revenge on the Shining Ones,” I whispered.
The men all stared at me in horror.
“Darcraxis talked me down,” I went on. “He loves his children, despite what they did to him.”
“And to you, Ellie; you were hurt too,” Declan reminded me gently. “You're our goddess; you created us.”
“Oh, that's fucking disturbing,” Gage muttered.
“She didn't actually give birth to me.” Declan grimaced at Gage. “Her soul is that of the goddess who created the Shining Ones. This is both astounding and miraculous. To have our goddess among us again is amazing, but to hold her in my arms and love her? That's—”
“Fucked,” Banning said again.
“Why is that fucked?” Gage asked.
“Because a god is in love with our woman,” Banning said. “Don't you guys get that? He loves her; has loved her since before they made Tír na nÓg together. Has that sunk in yet? They made planets and animals and people together. They've been in love longer than the stars have been shining. And—not surprising in the least—he doesn't want to share her.”
“He loves her enough to let her go,” Torin pointed out.
“For now,” Banning huffed. “Think about your time without Elaria, Torin. What would you have done to get her back; to have had her all to yourself again?”
Torin's eyes widened in comprehension and then focused on me.
“Yeah,” Banning growled. “And you haven't even loved her for a decade, much less hundreds of decades. He's waited for her longer than we've loved her—even me. Darcraxis knows her true self. He's fucking merged his soul with hers! Do you really think he'll just shed a little tear and let her go?”
We all went silent; all except for Kyanite.
You are barely controlling the urge to call for Darcraxis. How much longer do you think you can resist him?
As long as it takes, I said determinedly.
For what? What do you think will happen if you can stay away from him?
I don't know but I can't leave my consorts, and I can't—
“We'll fight him,” Gage interrupted my thoughts. “He was imprisoned once; he can be contained again.”
“No,” I whispered. Then I said it more firmly, “No; I won't do that to him. You're forgetting that I love him too.”
The men turned to face me with various expressions of hurt and trepidation.
“I'm sorry; I know that's hard to hear, but it's the truth,” I said gently. “I tried to push my love for him away and deny it, but it only seems to burn brighter. I love Darcraxis, and yet I hurt him for all of you. I made him bring me back to you, and he loved me enough to honor my wishes. Can't you find some kindness in
your hearts for him? Some sympathy?”
“Of course, we can,” Declan said softly as he took my hand. “We understand what he must be feeling, and we definitely sympathize. But he's not just a man, Elaria, he's not even a powerful shining one; he's a true god. Darcraxis could get into a foul mood and destroy a city or even a world. He may be considerate of you and your life with us today, but how will he feel tomorrow? And what will he do to win you back? Because you know as well as we do that Darcraxis will do everything within his power to reclaim you—and he has more power than all of us combined.”
“We're just going to have to let this one play out, Declan,” I said firmly. “I won't plot against Darc simply because he's powerful. He could have washed away my memories for good and kept me with him, but he didn't. He let them return, and he brought me back to you. I'd say that earns him a little respect and a lot of leeway.”
Declan sighed and nodded.
“Seriously?” Banning asked. “Leeway? That god is going to worm his way back into her heart and steal her from us.”
“He's already in my heart, Banning,” I said sternly. “I love him so much that it hurts to be apart from him.”
Banning's face fell.
“And yet, here I stand,” I said. “So, give him a break. Give me a break. And ask yourself what you would have done if you were him.”
Banning considered my words and then looked at the other men. They stared back at him with grudging acceptance. They all knew that there was nothing to be done; not at this point. Finally, Banning saw it too.
“So, we wait,” Banning said. “And we hope that our love continues to be enough to keep you away from a god.”
I shivered as an image of Darc's eyes rose in my mind, and my chest tightened painfully. I had been as honest as I could be with them because they deserved it. I couldn't lie to them about my feelings for Darcraxis or what we faced. But I knew that Banning was right; Darc wouldn't stop until we were together again. And, from what I'd seen Darcraxis do so far, I knew his tactics wouldn't always be completely honorable. What was honor to a god? Darc would do precisely as he wished.