by Amy Sumida
I jerked back against Darcraxis as I was encased in his main magic, but he steadied me; leaning forward around me as he tightened his hold on my hands.
“Don't fight me,” he whispered in my ear. “I'm only trying to help you, Elaria.”
I forced myself to relax again, and that's when I realized that I could see a light inside me. His darkness had made it possible for my Light—my alpha goddess magic—to be seen. It was just a faint glow in my heart, but as I focused on it, it grew brighter.
“That's it,” Darc said. “You must control your Light first. Only then will your other magics bow to you.”
“What do I do?”
“Remind it of who you are.” Darc's cheek nestled against mine. “Share your memories with it; show it how you were before and how you can be again. Woo it,” his voice dropped to a purr. “Seduce it.”
Darc's hands slid up and over my knees, and his thumbs began a gentle rubbing. This brought his arms closer around me so that I was held in his embrace, and he was pressed so tightly against me that I could feel his heartbeat thudding in sync with mine. That pulse became a primal music, and I shivered as I laid my head back on Darc's shoulder. My muscles went liquid and my mind opened.
In my relaxed state, memories became easy to access. I simply wondered about my past, and the answers rose in my mind. I saw a glowing ball before me. I was pouring my magic into it. Darcraxis had formed its base for me, but now I was setting it aflame. Fire, Air, and, most of all, Light joined together and coated the sphere in layers of churning heat. Then I released it and eased back to admire my work. The fiery globe hung suspended in the center of what would become our universe. Cold space warmed and came alive with colors that had been lost in the darkness. With the life-granting heat of the Sun in place, Darcraxis and I could now attempt to create planets.
I felt Darcraxis gathering around me; a shadowy, glittering mass. I looked down at the glow that was my eternal essence; my soul. I was golden and bright—Darc's direct opposite—but as he moved closer, we blended perfectly and became a shining, silver being. Two becoming one.
I sighed as the memory melted my resistance, and I turned my face toward Darcraxis. His lips met mine immediately, and I groaned as he kissed me. The sensations traveled down from my mouth; the wet heat going straight to even more intimate regions. I started to turn to straddle Darc, but he tightened his arms and held me in place.
Darc drew out of our kiss to murmur, “Focus on your Light, my love. We can't break from it now.”
I inhaled deeply and laid back against him again; trying to push down the rush of arousal and focus on my magic. Darc's arms wrapped around my chest; taking mine with them so that I was hugging myself. I felt his manhood pressing hard against my back, and I shivered with need as he rubbed against me. His mouth went to my neck, and his cool tongue started lightly flicking against my hot skin as he kissed his way across my shoulder. It felt as if steam should be rising from me.
More memories came to me; of my Light condensing into a physical body. That flesh gleamed with magic and illuminated the night. I saw the Shining Ones standing before me; glowing with the silver energy of Dark and Light combined. That was how they became known as the Shining Ones, but their true name was a version of mine; the Fae. Later, the spelling changed to Fey—probably their way of distancing themselves from me—and then they went even further and decided to call themselves the Shining Ones. “Fairy” became a foul word that brought up unpleasant memories of their creation.
I let the memory of my children go before it saddened me too much. Then Light exploded through my body. I tensed as pleasure filled me, and Darcraxis moaned against my neck. His fingers loosened their hold on mine so that he could trail them up my arms and across the top of my breasts. I cried out as my body tightened with desire, and my Light responded to it. Seduce it; that's what Darc had said. I hadn't realized that he meant it literally. The Light tingled through my body; growing in strength in direct proportion to my ardor until it finally burst free. My eyes shot open as I came; my body beginning to glow as it trembled with release. Darc inhaled sharply and pulled me even closer.
“Elaria,” he whispered in my ear, “you're so beautiful. Share your Light with me.”
I turned in his arms and took his face in my hands to pull him into a passionate kiss. Behind my closed eyelids, I saw my Light brighten and shift, but I was so consumed by Darcraxis that I didn't pay it any attention. I straddled his waist and settled myself against him intimately; only a few layers of clothing separating us. He growled low in his throat and pressed harder against me; deepening our kiss as his hands roamed my body. The feeling of his fingers massaging my tender flesh made my thighs clench around him. We ground against each other as ecstasy blinded me to everything but Darcraxis, and he jerked against me as he cried out against my lips. A wet warmth soaked through the barriers between us and touched the sensitive skin of my sex; sending me into my own orgasm. I threw my head back and screamed with rapture as I clung to him.
When I finally came down from that high, I opened my eyes to find us both glowing with silver light. I stared at Darc in fascination and shock; my breath coming in heavy pants, and then I cast myself away from him. I landed on my back in the sand; staring up at him in horror. I had practically screwed him on that beach; with my consorts a few hundred feet away. A guilty flush crept over my face.
“Don't do that,” Darc growled as he crawled over me. “You have nothing to feel guilty over, Elaria. You and I have loved each other since long before they were born. If you should feel guilty about anything, it's being with them while you continue to reject me.”
Darc pressed his lips to mine and savaged my mouth with a ferocious kiss. But the Light was fading back into my chest, and magic wasn't clouding my judgment any longer. I pushed him away and slapped him across his face. Darcraxis growled and set his furious stare on me.
“You strike me?” He asked with hurt and horror. “All I have ever done is love you and tell you the absolute truth, and you attack me for this? Why, Elaria? What have they done to you that has turned me into your enemy?”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath; feeling horrible on so many levels. But when I opened my eyes to apologize, Darc was gone. I stared up at the brilliant blue sky and started to cry.
Chapter Thirteen
I splashed my face with some seawater and took a deep, calming breath. I didn't know what to tell the others; I wasn't even sure if the lesson had given me any control over my magic. So, I sat back down on the sand, tucked my skirts in around my legs, and closed my eyes to check. I tried to call up a gentle breeze, but the air magic rushed out of me and gusted around me; tearing my dress loose to blow up around my face. I pushed my skirt down angrily and tried to let go of the magic.
It didn't work.
The wind grew stronger and stronger; lifting above me to spread out and rustle through the trees nearby. Branches creaked liked shrieking children and leaves were torn up to speckle the tornado. I reached for Air in a panic, but it didn't respond. A shrieking sound cut at my ears as sand was picked up by the whirlwind; turning the tornado even more deadly. Anything caught within that cone would be scraped raw in seconds. And still, it strengthened and expanded; shifting from tornado to tempest. I was blown back into the treeline; hitting a trunk hard enough to knock the breath from me. I tried to find the Light inside me, but it was hiding, and I didn't want to add Fire to the already savage storm. Fear slashed through me as I wracked my brain for something to do.
You are more than this! Kyanite shouted in my mind. Remember who you are in this life.
He was right. I'd been so wrapped up in Darcraxis that I'd forgotten what my true strength was. Regardless of who I'd been, I had gained power in this life—as a spellsinger. That was something I could rely on; something I knew would never abandon me. If my other magic didn't want to obey me, I would force it into submission.
The soft strains of “Listen to Your Heart” by Roxette were
lost to the screeching of the wind, but it didn't matter. I could feel the music inside me; lifting my voice and my magic with it. The gentle urging of the lyrics was just what I needed to coerce the wind to soften, but as I sang, I was gentled as well. I called to the air magic kindly, asking it to stop fighting me; to look into my heart and know that I wanted what was best for us. My spellsinger magic seeped into the storm and started to calm it. As it did, I began to see the sense in my own song.
I sang about a miraculous love falling apart; a woman ready to walk away, and a man who keeps fighting for her. Should she fight for him too or give up? Every moment between them becomes hazy; caught in that uncertainty. But in the end, there's only one path to take; the one that love leads her to.
Why was I fighting Darcraxis? What did I truly want? My heart wanted him, but it also wanted the others. Gage had nearly died recently, and the mere possibility had threatened my sanity. I had brought him back with power that I didn't know I possessed. Had my love for Gage given me access to the magic in the orb? Was that what had drawn me to the orb? If so, what else could love do? Maybe I needed to have faith in my men and in love itself. I would find a way to bring all of my lovers together so that my heart could be at peace. I just needed to figure out where to begin.
With your strengths, Kyanite said as the wind died down, and the magic settled back inside me. Look at what you've done in just a few minutes; you conquered the magic of a goddess. Getting a bunch of men to get along shouldn't be so hard.
“But my songs don't work on Darcraxis,” I said. “Even if they did, I would never try to influence him like that; it would be worse than what he did to me.”
I'm not saying that you should change his free will; I'm saying that you should seduce him with your music, Kyanite huffed. You just had him eating out of your hand. He came in his pants like a teenage boy. Darcraxis may be a god, but he's been without his wife for thousands of years; the guy's about as horny as a rabbit in the springtime, and he loves you.
“I'm not sleeping with Darcraxis without settling things with the others first,” I said firmly.
You came pretty damn close out here.
“I know,” I whispered. “And I'm ashamed of that.”
You've got a lot going on inside you; give yourself some time to adjust, he said gently. Not to mention the fact that betrayal is subjective at this point. You were with Darcraxis first.
“I thought you didn't want me with Darc?” I asked in surprise. “Now, you're on his side?”
I don't like how Darcraxis silences me whenever it suits him, Kyanite grumbled. But I think our best bet is to work with him rather than against him. He's already helped you, and even when he's furious with you, he doesn't do or say anything truly hurtful to you. That's more than I can say for Torin.
“Torin went through a bad period, but he's better now,” I said defensively. “And as far as Darc; he started to help me but then he took off before I was in control.”
Darcraxis did more than your father and Nigel combined. Kyanite paused before continuing, And even though you've found a way to combat the goddess magic, I feel a turbulence inside you. This is not over, my love. The magic will rise again, and next time, it will be stronger.
“I'm going to have to kiss his ass, aren't I?” I muttered.
I'm afraid so, Kyanite sounded amused. But then he'll kiss yours, and everywhere else on your body.
I rolled my eyes as Kyanite laughed at his own joke.
Chapter Fourteen
As I walked up to my parents' house, I noticed that everyone was out on the balcony; waiting anxiously for my return.
“Guys, can you come down? I want to talk to you privately,” I asked my consorts.
“Well, that sounds ominous,” Cerberus noted.
“Can it, Cer,” I said tiredly.
“Sorry, El,” he mumbled.
I went to meet the men at the main door in the base of the trunk of the tree. They walked out with matching, wary expressions.
“It's not catastrophic,” I said. “I just want to talk to you about Darc.”
“About adding him to our number?” Torin asked as he shut the door behind him.
“Are we in agreement on that?” I countered.
“If it's necessary for your safety and well-being, we are,” Declan answered after exchanging a look with the others.
“Let's sit down.” I waved a hand at an outdoor dining set my parents had placed beside some wild blueberry bushes.
“We've already agreed to this; what else do we need to talk about?” Gage asked as we all took our seats.
“How much leeway I have to persuade him,” I said blandly.
The blueberries were ripe and dark on the thick bushes, and a slightly sweet scent wafted over from them. I absently picked a handful and put them on the table between us like a peace offering before I looked up at the men.
They were all staring at me grimly.
“You're asking if we'd be okay with you sleeping with him,” Banning translated.
I nodded and then admitted, “I came very close to doing so on the beach.” I held up a hand when Torin cursed. “When I regained my senses, I pulled away and slapped him, but I don't know if that was fair. It certainly wasn't fair to all of you, and I apologize.”
Torin sighed deeply and then said, “This was why I didn't want to leave you alone with him. We all know that your soul is in turmoil, little bird. I trust you, but I don't trust your memories or the emotions that accompany them.”
“Valid,” I said simply. “But Darc was just doing what he had to do to help me. We needed to delve into... never mind; it doesn't matter. I'm trying to explain that it was necessary for us to touch; it wasn't Darc's attempt at seduction. What happened is on me.”
“Did you gain control over your magic?” Declan asked.
“No,” I muttered. “As I mentioned; I slapped him. That was before we finished, and Darcraxis left shortly afterward. I tested my magic after he had left, and I nearly caused a storm, but I calmed it with a song.”
“Of course!” Declan exclaimed. “You're strongest with your spellsinging; that's how you should control the other magics.”
“It's not control; it's suppression,” I protested. “The air magic went wild, and I stopped it. But I can't manipulate it into doing my bidding with a song. To truly learn to control it, I think I need Darc.”
“You want to go after him,” Gage concluded.
“I think I should,” I huffed. “I don't know what's going to happen between us, but I wanted to discuss the possibilities with all of you before I went. If we're all in agreement that I should try to convince him to join us, does that mean you'll be okay with my methods of persuasion?”
“This is so fucked up,” Banning growled.
“You have my support, little bird,” Torin said. “I won't hold your tactics against you.”
The other men looked at Torin in surprise.
“I abandoned her once, and I've regretted it ever since,” Torin explained. “I have no intentions of ever doing so again. This is the best course of action; I think we should help Elaria instead of hindering her.”
“I agree,” Declan said. “I was just surprised that you gave in so easily.”
“You have my support as well,” Gage said as he leaned out of his seat to hug me tightly. “Whatever you need to do to get him to join us, do it.”
“I don't like it, but I understand,” Banning said and then sighed. “Do what you must, Elaria.”
“Thank you,” I said to all of them. “I'm scared and the worst part about it is that I'm scared of myself.”
“We are with you,” Declan said as he laid his hand against my cheek. “Even when we are not physically there, we are with you.”
“I love you so much.” I kissed Declan and then looked to the rest of them. “All of you.”
“We love you too, little bird,” Torin said gently. “As long as we hold onto that, we'll be fine.”
Chapter Fift
een
I made my goodbyes to my consorts, my parents, Nigel, and Cerberus and then used my traveling stone to take me back to Darc's palace on Ildathach. I couldn't think of it as mine, despite my memories of living there. I felt like two different women in one body, and now that I knew about my soul being split into two pieces, I understood why. I had lived so long without the other half of me that I had become someone else.
I arrived inside Darc's bedroom, but it was empty. I wandered over to the balcony and looked down toward the beach. I instinctively knew that he'd be near the water; it comforted him. Darcraxis stood in the shallows; bare-chested and brooding as he stared out to sea. Down the shore from him, a lime-green, hairless seal sunned on a rock, but I only spared it the briefest glance before I set my attention fully on Darcraxis. Sunlight shone over his golden-brown skin; turning his body into art. I admired the curves of his arms, the breadth of his back, and the blue highlights in his hair, but he was too far away for me to appreciate his face.
I headed back inside and made my way through the palace and then down the path that twined along the spiraling mountain. As I strolled, the gold, winged tigers that nested in the caves within the mountain's curves took flight and glided down the center of the spiral. I watched them playfully paw at each other and smiled at their gleeful roars. This world was wondrous and it baffled me to think that not only had I helped to create it; it hadn't been enough for me.
But then, I suppose when you had forever and limitless power, you had plenty of time to grow bored with it. And what was the point of having the power of creation if you only used it once?