by Amy Sumida
“Just as I thought,” Darcraxis said. “You're changing this body's DNA.”
“What does that mean?” Gage asked warily.
“You've never heard of DNA?” Banning asked in surprise.
“I know what DNA is, Conan,” Gage huffed. “But I don't know what he means by hers being changed.”
“First; I'm not that big,” Banning said. “If anyone in this room is Conan, it's you. And second; that's a good question.”
We all looked at Darcraxis.
“Your spellsinging has saved you from death and given the goddess magic an opportunity to alter your body,” Darc said to me. “It could hardly live inside you without affecting you. The longer it has, the more it will be able to change you; improve you. Your blood is teeming with magic now.” He waved a hand at Banning. “It's flowing through your body; hardening bones, strengthening muscles, and generally making you more divine.”
“You think that if she gives it enough time, she'll transform completely into a goddess?” Declan whispered.
“Yes,” Darc said. “Since it can't kill this body, the magic is making it into a proper host.”
“What will happen to Elaria?” Torin asked.
“For the hundredth time; I am Elaria,” I growled.
“Elaria is half of Faenestra's soul,” Darc said patiently. “You cannot kill an immortal soul. Even if this body were to die, Elaria would live on. It's just this form that we were trying to save, and now it looks as if it will save itself.”
“Do you think I'll be able to use my magic without singing again?” I asked Darc.
“I do.” Darcraxis smiled softly as he pulled me into an embrace. “I think you will be whole again. Your soul has found a way to help your body survive.”
“Congratulations,” Torin muttered and strode out of the room.
Chapter Forty-Four
“I'm sorry for what I said to you,” Gage murmured after Torin left. “If I'm going to be a supportive mate, I need to accept all of you.”
“And I accept your apology,” I said with a smile.
“What about mine?” Darc asked as he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it. “Will you forgive me for bringing them here?”
“You mean for loving half of me more than all of me?” I asked with a wounded tone.
“That's not true, Faene.” Darc pulled me in against his chest. “I love pieces of you more than others, but that's how everyone loves. There are parts of me that you find less appealing; I'm sure.”
I lifted a brow.
“You know what I mean, you naughty minx.” Darc placed a quick kiss on my forehead. “We cannot possibly love everything about each other equally; we're too different for that. And that is all this is with Elaria; she's a piece of you that I love more than the rest. But is that so awful, Faene? That I would love your soul without the magic? Doesn't that simply mean that I love the true you best?”
I frowned as I considered it. There were definitely things about Darc that I didn't treasure as much as others. Did that hurt our relationship? No. He was right; it's the way of love to judge and discern. But it's also in love's nature to forgive and accept. We loved some parts of each other enough to accept the things we didn't like. No one is perfect; not even a god.
“Maybe it does,” I finally said. “Maybe I've been too concerned about becoming the real me when I've been the real me all along.”
“It's understandable,” Darc said as he laid a palm to my cheek. “Part of you was put in stasis while the other part experienced multiple lives. By the time you were reunited, you were so different that it felt as if you were two separate people. You even had two names.”
“You're right,” I whispered. “I keep saying that I'm Elaria and she's me, but I've been thinking as if I'm only Faenestra. I've been trying to push Elaria down when there is no difference between her and me; we are one.”
“Perhaps you should let go of that tight rein you have on yourself,” Darc suggested. “Just relax and be whoever you wish to be. We will love you either way.”
My whole body shuddered at his words—at the possibility of peace within myself—and I decided to try his advice. I let go. I felt Elaria rising inside me immediately, but I resisted the urge to push her back down. I could always do so in the future; I was the stronger half. But I didn't want to be halves who fought against each other anymore. I didn't want a war within my own body. And neither did Elaria.
I gasped as she surfaced, and with her came an overwhelming grief. I began to sob brokenly.
“Faene?” Darc asked in shock as he held me. “What is it, love?”
“I strangled her,” I whispered. “My mother.”
“There she is,” Declan said in relief. “Sweetheart, we've been worried.”
“I need to see them.” I sniffed as I pulled out my necklace and grabbed my traveling stone.
“Just take a breath, baby,” Banning said. “Let everything process a bit before you go running off.”
“Process?” I nearly shrieked. “This bitch nearly killed my mother! Darc, did you find that dagger? We need to cut her out of me before she hurts anyone else.”
Before Darc could say anything, a horrible fury flared through my body. I screamed and fell to my knees as Faenestra took over again.
I'm a bitch, am I? I inhaled deeply; pushing down my fury with Elaria. I may be changing into a goddess again, but I wasn't there yet, and I couldn't afford to let my Fire hurt me. I stood slowly as I shoved the traitorous half of my soul even further down than she'd been before; as far as I could put her. Then I glared at my husband.
“Faene?” Darc asked hesitantly.
“That's right,” I growled. “Your precious Elaria is gone. I trusted her, and the first thing she did was betray me; betray us! This is the kind of woman you love?” I shook my head at him. “Now, do you understand why I must control her? My soul is whole again, but she still finds ways to defy me and deny us peace. I will never be able to rest until I have vanquished this enemy inside me. So, we're going to do things my way from here forward.” I looked over the shocked men and narrowed my eyes at Gage. “Starting with you, griffin. You said that you were sorry for not accepting me. Let's see how true your words are. Come with me.”
Gage looked at Darc in shock, and Darc shook his head slightly.
“Don't look at him!” I shouted at Gage. “He will not be a part of this.”
“Faene,” Darc growled.
“No!” I slashed my hand down. “I'll deal with you later, husband,” I growled the last word. “Right now, I want to be alone with my beast-man. I have things to... discuss with him. Come along, Gage.”
I strode out of the room. Gage hesitated a moment before chasing after me.
Chapter Forty-Five
“I know what you like to do to Elaria,” I said to Gage as I closed the door behind us. “You like to be in control, don't you, Gage? Not that I can blame you.”
“Sometimes,” Gage said warily as he looked around the room. “Why are we in the kitchen?”
“I'm hungry,” I said as I went to the fridge—a modern, human convenience Darc had created for Elaria. It was magic-powered—like everything else on our world—but according to Elaria's memories, it functioned just like a normal fridge. “Take off your clothes and get on the table.”
“What?” Gage asked in shock.
“Elaria may have enjoyed your dominance, but I do not,” I said as I looked over my shoulder at him. “You say that you're willing to accept me as I am. So, prove it. Get up on that table or get out, Gage.”
He started to undress, but he did it with an annoyed expression.
I smiled wickedly as I took a bowl of hulled strawberries out of the fridge. I carried them to the kitchen table as I watched Gage strip; casually eating a strawberry along the way. I licked my fingers as he climbed onto the table and laid down. Gage was the largest of my men. He was nearly too big; just short of being monstrous. And that proximity to monstrosity had the odd effect of
making him even more attractive. I admired the dips and planes of his body, and he responded to my attention immediately; the only soft part of his body going hard.
I put the bowl down on the table beside Gage and picked up a strawberry. I bit the tip off, and as I chewed, I rubbed the wet, red flesh over Gage's nipple. He sucked in his breath and grabbed the sides of the table as the juice ran down his chest. I removed the fruit and blew lightly over the juicy puddles as I held his gaze. Gage shivered, and I popped the rest of the strawberry in my mouth.
“I'm sorry; are you hungry too?” I asked him as I lowered a strawberry to his mouth.
Gage bit the end of the berry, and as he chewed, I rubbed the rest of it over his lips. Then I lowered my mouth to his and licked the liquid away. When he tried to kiss me, I pulled back and tapped his nose as if he'd been naughty.
“Whatever I do, do not move your hands from that table unless I tell you to, Gagerian,” I said sternly.
He swallowed roughly and nodded.
I trailed my fingers lightly down his sides and circled his bellybutton pensively. Then I set the bowl down with a sharp thud and grabbed a handful of strawberries. I crushed them over his pelvis; dripping fruit pieces and juice over his belly and his twitching manhood. I rubbed the mess into him; everywhere around—but not on—his member. I massaged the wet pulp over his stomach and down his thighs as Gage groaned.
Then I went to the sink and washed my hands. I turned to look him over consideringly as I removed my clothing. Gage's stare grew hot and intense as he watched my dress fall to the floor. I stepped free of the fabric and then out of my underwear casually. In only my heels, I went to a cabinet and pulled out a jar of sugar. I took this back to the table and set it down as I held his stare.
“Open this for me,” I commanded.
As Gage opened the jar, I ran a finger through the juice on his stomach. I rubbed the finger over my nipples, and Gage nearly dropped the sugar jar.
“Be careful; I need that,” I said as I took it from him.
I took a pinch of sugar and sprinkled it over my nipples.
“Let me suck those sweet tits,” Gage begged.
I lightly slapped his face, and he jerked in shock.
“Never speak to me like that,” I said fiercely. “You will respect and adore me, even—no; especially—when I stand before you naked. Do you understand?”
Gage clenched his jaw but nodded.
“Good.” I took more sugar and sprinkled it over the strawberries on his body; ending with a light dusting on his manhood. “You look delicious, Gage.”
I took a handful of the sweetened berry pulp and rubbed it into him, then I slid my hand down to his shaft. Gage jerked and the table creaked as he grabbed it tighter. I rubbed the fruit and my fist over his member rapidly for a few seconds and then stopped abruptly. As Gage stared at me—his eyes twitching with need—I lowered my face and licked the juice from the head of his shaft. Gage's hips twitched as I took more of his flesh into my mouth until the whole tip was covered. I sucked it clean and then stood upright and flung the extra bits of strawberries off my hands and onto his thighs.
After washing my hands again, I went back to the fridge. I took out meat, cheese, lettuce, and mayo. On my way back to Gage, I grabbed the bread. I laid everything out on his belly and proceeded to make myself a sandwich.
“You've got to be fucking kidding me,” Gage moaned.
I shot him an angry look.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
I nodded primly as I finished. Then I fetched a knife. Gage's eyes went round as I cut the sandwich in half on his chest; coming just short of cutting his skin. I cleaned up—dusting the crumbs off his chest—and put everything back in the fridge. While I was there, I grabbed a pitcher of wine and a glass to bring back to the table with me. Then I poured myself some wine and ate my sandwich. As I ate, the strawberries and sugar started to dry on Gage, and his sex began to twitch.
“Feeling a little sticky?” I asked conversationally.
“This is starting to itch,” he growled.
“How about now?” I poured some wine over his cock. “Is that better?”
The liquid gushed down his member and over his thighs; no doubt dripping in other places as well. Gage sucked in a breath and then moaned as I began to rub the wine in.
“You're right; this strawberry juice is starting to bother me,” I said as I lowered a nipple to his mouth. “Clean me off, griffin.”
Gage eagerly sucked my nipple into his mouth and had it clean in a few seconds. He started to lean toward the other one, but I pulled away. Gage growled in frustration, but then his eyes went wide as I climbed up on a chair and stepped onto the table; still in my heels. I lowered myself slowly onto my knees and then onto him; sliding him into me as I straddled his hips. Gage tried to move, but I pushed him back and leaned forward; giving him my other nipple.
As my griffin sucked obediently, I rolled my hips over him; strawberries and wine squishing wetly between us. I worked myself over him until I came, and then I stood again. Gage was nowhere near orgasm, and I knew it. His whole body was tense with need as I strode up the table and then knelt over his face.
“It appears that I need cleaning again,” I said.
And the griffin cleaned his goddess.
Chapter Forty-Six
After I was nice and clean—and satisfied—I left Gage to handle his own satisfaction. He growled in frustration as I walked away, but when I gave him a stern look over my shoulder, he grimaced and went quiet. I headed back to my bedroom; all of my hungers eased.
I was contemplating which man to torment next when I rounded a corner and saw Torin walking toward me. Perfect timing; I smiled wickedly. But his expression hardened, and something inside me cried out in distress. It wasn't just a sound, it was visceral, and I stumbled to my knees.
“Elaria!” Torin rushed forward.
Before he reached me, the hallway began to vibrate with music. I scowled at my reflection in the polished floor; I had no need for spellsinging, I wasn't angry in the least and my magic was calm. Then I recognized the song; Elaria's knowledge supplying the name: “Rise” by Katy Perry. I growled as I realized what my other half was up to, and I tried to hold Elaria down, but my voice suddenly burst into life outside of me; completely without my permission. That bitch was using her ability to throw her voice and bypass our vocal chords. She was fighting me with spellsinger magic!
Elaria must have thought the lyrics were perfect and poetically motivating. Within them were vows to rise up no matter what tried to hold her down; metaphors of fire and death making it even more personal. She had been pushed deep down inside me, but that had become a place of power for her. She would use our core to alter me instead of allowing my beliefs to alter her. I had thought that she was beaten, but she was far from it. Elaria had been biding her time; waiting for a moment when I was relaxed and had lowered my guard. Then she had teamed up with that treacherous Kyanite to take over our body.
Torin gaped at me as he eased back and watched the battle play out. My jaw was clenched tightly shut but it didn't matter; my voice rang out triumphantly—loud enough to call the attention of the other men. They came running to us; even Gage, who was dressed only a pair of strawberry-stained pants. I felt my body stand, but I wasn't in control of the movement, and I knew that I had moments left before Elaria won.
And I also knew the perfect way to thwart her.
I used my last bit of control to lurch forward and grab a dagger from Declan's belt. He shouted in surprise as I held it out before me and turned it toward my chest. I smiled viciously as Elaria sang about her angels helping her; she knew her control was slipping. But these men were no angels, and they couldn't save her. If Elaria wanted this body, she could take it... right to the grave.
I plunged the dagger toward my chest viciously. The men were lunging toward me—mere inches away—but they wouldn't reach me in time. Except that I had forgotten one thing; the speed of Darkness. Jus
t before the blade met my skin, Darc's hand shot between us. He yanked back as the knife stabbed through his hand; his fingers closing around the handle as he tore it away from me. It made the barest cut over my chest before it was gone, but it healed within seconds.
As I gaped at my husband in horrified betrayal, he pulled the dagger out of his unharmed hand and tossed it aside. Our stares met; his pleading and mine furious. But Elaria was using my distraction to climb her way up; her mental claws scraping me raw inside. I turned away from him and refocused on shoving Elaria back where she belonged. And then I heard that blasted gem speaking to Elaria.
I'm with you, my love. You can do this.
Tears streamed down my cheeks as the men took my hands, but it wasn't me who was crying; it was her.
“You're doing it, little bird!” Torin exclaimed. “Keep flying straight to me.”
And then Elaria won; this fight, at least. I fell into the depths I had put her in.
As Faenestra fell, my body became my own, and I pulled my voice back into my throat to sing the rest of the song naturally. I felt Faenestra curl up inside me; her fury burning my belly. But I cast her magic down beside her and embraced my own as I embraced Torin. He shouted with relief as he held me tightly, but I sang on; making sure that Faenestra was good and secure. Finally, with the last words echoing around me—my promise to always rise up no matter how many times she pushed me down—I felt in complete control again.
“Take that, you vindictive bitch,” I whispered.
Chapter Forty-Seven
After a tear-filled reunion with my consorts, we began to work on a plan to deal with Faenestra.
“We've been trying to find a way to get Faenestra to back down,” Gage said to me. “But all we could come up with was exposing her to people in your past.”
“I saw you come through when Faenestra assaulted your mother,” Darc added. “I theorized that if we could put Faene around more people you cared about, she would either do something to make you furious enough to take control, or she would feel some of your emotions and be softened by them. Either result would be beneficial.”