I had no idea what to do. Should I get a taxi and go up to the hospital? Nah, she’d know to ask me if she wanted me there.
By this stage I was starving, as I’d had nothing but a tub of Pringles earlier. I should really have gone home, but that would take another thirty minutes and my stomach was turning somersaults. So, I finished my second glass of wine, ordered a third and chicken Caesar salad to help line my belly.
Since cos lettuce was far from good soakage the wine rapidly began to take effect, and my mood became somewhat reflective as I thought over the disastrous year I’d just had.
Without doubt it had been my most catastrophic one yet, and there were still a few weeks left before I could officially start a clean slate.
I was miles away reminiscing about the domino effect a few kisses with the wrong man could have when I noticed the café manager standing over me, smiling. ‘You look utterly miserable,’ he said. ‘I hope it’s not the salad? We’ve got a new commis-chef from Liverpool but I’m not sure he’s the real deal.’
‘What?’
‘Your salad, is it OK?’
‘Yeah, grand thanks, sorry, I was just lost in thought.’
‘So I see. Everything all right? You don’t seem your bubbly self.’
‘Ah, problems. You know my friend Maddie, the model, the one I was supposed to meet tonight? Well, she’s had to take her son to the hospital. I’m not sure yet if he’s going to be all right.’
‘Of course he’ll be fine.’
‘Emmm …’
‘Listen, babies get sick all the time, it’s just part of growing up. She’ll spend many hours with doctors over the next few years.’
‘Are you speaking from experience?’
‘No, gosh, no, but I come from a large family.’
‘Oh.’
There was silence as I looked back at my salad, contemplating whether I could muster up the energy to finish it. Although it looked fairly appetizing, I’d completely lost my hunger and my head was kinda dizzy.
‘You won’t find it in there, you know,’ chuckled the manager.
‘Sorry?’
‘The answer to all your problems.’
‘Oh, very good, no I’m just a bit down. That time of year. It’s been a bit of a crappy one, and I’m not sure how to go about making it a better twelve months next year.’
The wine was quite obviously working its magic, as my loose tongue had begun to run away with itself. I was about to apologize for burdening him with my woes when he asked could he join me. ‘It’s a slow night. Would you like some company for a little bit?’
‘You?’ I asked, not thinking it might sound standoffish.
‘Well, that was the thought behind the offer. I could ask a few of the other customers if they’d be interested, but I might be arrested for pimping.’
‘Ha ha, very funny, sorry, I’m not thinking straight. Yeah, sure, sit down. I’d be honoured … Does that mean I get a discount?’
‘Ha! Even in the depths of despair you’ve still got your brass neck. You’re priceless.’
‘Always worth a shot,’ I snapped back with a slight smirk.
‘I agree. Let me grab myself a drink and I’ll be back to you. Try not to top yourself before I get back, all right?’
Not entirely sure if I was comfortable with the manager guy, whose name I never bothered to ask, sitting down with me, my brain went into overdrive. Should I do the sensible thing, pay my bill and leave? Or should I take his kind offer of a shoulder to cry on and see how the evening progressed?
What was I thinking?
How could I be so selfish at a time when little Woody was sick?
I’d have to excuse myself politely and go.
I was just putting on my coat when a text beeped through. It was Maddie. ‘Panic over. Simple rash caused by naughty detergent powder. Hope ure OK, enjoy yourself where ever U get 2. Stayin in mam’s 2nite xox.’
‘Going somewhere?’ asked the manager, who arrived with two glasses of wine.
‘Ehhh, no, there were a couple of changes of plan while you were gone. But everything’s fine. Cheers.’
Now that I had Maddie’s consent, I texted her back, ‘Phew, love you both x x.’ And settled myself back into my seat.
My manager friend seemed pleased I wasn’t leaving. While I wasn’t quite sure if he was glad of the company because he was bored, or if he was just happy to be with me, either way I was at a loose end and I’d always found him quite friendly.
As I embarked on my fourth glass of wine my head was getting even more fuzzy and I felt compelled to ask the question that had been bugging me for over a year, ‘Sorry, but what exactly is your name?’
‘You don’t know my name, Miss Valentine?’
‘I know I should, but it’s just gone on so long now that I never felt brave enough to ask before now. Sorry.’
‘It’s Michael.’
‘Really?’
‘Last time my mother called … Something wrong with Michael?’
‘No, just, I would have thought you more of a Denis or Daragh.’ I was clutching at straws. I didn’t care what his name might be. I just didn’t want anyone else I’d ever meet to be called Michael.
By now I could see he was starting to look at me strangely, as if I was a bit mad. And without checking with my brain first I blurted, ‘Yes, I am a bit bonkers. That’s why I’m sitting here on a Monday night all on my own. You’d probably do yourself a big favour by running away now …’
‘Wow, that’s the biggest helping of self-pity I’ve seen all year.’ He fell back into his seat as he spoke.
‘It’s not self-pity actually. It’s honesty.’
‘Well, thank you for the advice, Miss Valentine, but I think I’ll take my chances. I reckon I’m safe enough in your headlights.’
‘Well, you’ve been warned. Bad karma follows me.’
‘Duly noted. Actually I think your madness is quite endearing.’
‘Why?’
‘Well, it shows vulnerability. And that’s cute. You come across as a tough cookie a lot of the time, so it’s nice to see your human characteristics.’
‘Maybe I’m just drunk.’ I lifted my glass to exaggerate my condition.
‘Maybe a little, but I’ve seen you worse. I’ve watched you breeze in and out of here over the last fifteen months, and you’ve always had a cheeky flirt, a funny story and a posse of people hanging on your every word. And all this time I’ve been throwing you freebie desserts and bottles of wine, and you never even bothered to ask my name. Yet I still did it … Now that’s a talent.’
‘What are you trying to do? Kick a girl when she’s down? Make me feel bad?’
‘I’m only teasing you. How about I get you a coffee and some cheesecake, and we start this conversation again. What do you say?’
‘I’d say, thank you, Michael.’
‘There ya go, and a smile too. I think we could be making progress.’
As he disappeared behind the counter, a wave of comfort washed over me.
I liked this guy. He was smart, witty, had the size of me, and on reflection had an easy name to remember. He probably just seemed interesting because I was half cut. And I doubt if we had anything in common other than a taste for white wine.
But I’d give him the benefit of one coffee, a piece of cheesecake and then I was outta here. Famous last words, eh?
‘A café manager who used to work as a hedge fund manager – that can’t be right?’
I was sitting at the end of Parker’s bed, filling him in on the evening’s events but he wasn’t buying my new friend’s story.
‘And he says he lived in New York and his name is Michael? That fella is winding you up. He must have heard something.’
‘No it’s true. It’s just a bizarre coincidence.’
‘And he says he just dropped out because his head was melted with the pressure?’
‘That’s what he told me. He seemed quite genuine.’
‘Genuine pe
ople don’t exist, pet. They’re just fictitious like the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus.’
‘That’s rich coming from the man who met his perfect partner this year.’
‘OK, so I’m an exception. I met a Michael Landon and he’s too good for me, and I know that. But not everyone is as lucky as me.’
‘Not even me?’
‘Dear God, especially not you. Well, not this year anyway, maybe next year. If I was you I’d close your bedroom door and not poke your nose out till January the first.’
‘You sure know how to rain on a girl’s parade. I’m going to bed.’
‘I’m just being honest …’
‘Yeah well, sometimes honesty isn’t the best policy. Goodnight.’
Gosh, what an emotional rollercoaster of a night. But up until now I’d thought it had ended on a high.
Maybe Parker was right? Anything I touched this year had turned to crap. Work and relationships had been crushed with a tsunami, and I was only just managing to hang on for dear life with the few pals I had left.
I suppose I should listen to Parker and do a Snow White till New Year. Anything that seems too good to be true normally is.
In hindsight there was no way this Michael was any less of a bullshitter than the other.
Why was it that I kept attracting blokes that live in fantasy worlds? I really needed to analyse myself and work out exactly how I kept making the same mistakes in life.
As I walked past Maddie’s empty room I stopped and switched on the light. I gazed around her clutter. It was a very different sight to what you would have seen a year ago. Before her pregnancy, her domain would have been littered with magazines and photographs of jobs she’d done, girlie smalls, maybe a vibrator and even a couple of half-opened bottles of wine. Now, that scene had been swapped for Avent bottles, nappies, musical flashing toys and plenty of comfortable flannel pyjamas.
She had coped amazingly. It was moments like this that I realized how proud I was of her. Maybe I didn’t tell her enough? I would from now on.
As I turned the light off and closed her door, I pictured Maddie at home in her old bed, with her son lying beside her. It was sad and wonderful all at the same time.
She had turned out to be such a caring mother – not that I’d ever questioned her abilities, but she’d taken responsibility for her foolishness in London, and Woody was now the best thing that had ever happened to her. In time she’d find someone to share her love for her son. All she had to do was open her heart just a little wider to let that person in.
As I climbed into my own bed, I wondered where I’d be in the future. But I couldn’t work out what exactly it was that I wanted. I knew that I eventually wanted a family and a steady writing career. But my confidence was totally knocked, and I didn’t quite know how to pick up the pieces to rebuild the foundations. Would Maddie have been able to forecast sitting in Crumlin’s Children’s Hospital with a sick child twelve months ago? Of course not. Maybe I shouldn’t force fate either?
Work-wise the phone had started to ring again, and as far as dating was going, tonight showed me that there were people who could still be interested in me, even when they knew my problems. But I had yet to find out if this Michael was even more cracked than me. I was too tired to figure it all out tonight. Tomorrow was a new day, and in three weeks it would be a new year. I’ll right all the world’s wrongs then.
I was just about to drift off to sleep when I heard a text beeping through. It was from Michael. Michael Café. Squinting with one eye I could read, ‘I really enjoyed the chat. There’s a whole new Eva once you let your guard down. Talk soon x.’
What a tease he was. ‘Talk soon’ – how thoroughly noncommittal of him. And just one x, well, he was hardly expressing his undying love now, was he? The old Eva would have texted him back immediately and said, ‘Look forward 2 it! X x’ but the new me will just ignore him. I’m going to try and learn from my mistakes if it breaks me …
‘Hi mum, how are you?’
‘I’m in the middle of making a stew for your sister. She’s snowed under with work. What’s up? Are you in trouble again? Are you looking for money?’
I had felt inspired to ring my mother and make friends since Maddie had mended bridges with hers. Mum never made it easy but it was nearly Christmas, and I missed her and her lectures. Maybe if I had listened to her more carefully I might not be in such a state. Mother knows best and all that!
‘Eva, are you still there?’
‘Sorry, hiya. No, I’m not in trouble. Everything’s great, actually. I was just ringing to see if you wanted to go for lunch on Saturday. We could do a bit of shopping and catch up.’
There was silence.
‘Mum, are you still there?’
‘Em, yes, where did all that come from? I’m not sure if—’
‘Listen, Mum, I just want everything back to normal. I hate you being disappointed in me, I just want to straighten things out between us and since it’s the season of good will and all that I thought we could—’
‘That would be nice, Eva. Thank you.’ Her interruption was timed to save us both embarrassment. We weren’t a family that told each other that we loved them, and obviously my mother didn’t want to break that tradition now.
It didn’t matter, though, she had agreed to lunch. It was a start and that was all the window I needed to make me feel like a worthy daughter again.
Saturday lunchtime arrived, but instead of eating humble pie with my mother, it was vino with the gang at Le Café. She’d cancelled due to a neighbour dying, and promised to reschedule next week. So our relationship was still technically on the up, I hoped.
My rationale to meet up was a Christmas get-together, but it was really an excuse for me to pester everyone to look closer at Michael. They already knew him but they’d just never had cause to take a serious interest in him before. Today they were ordered to be on high alert, to pick up on any faults the poor bloke might possess.
Not that I was thinking of dating him or anything. I just wanted their opinion on him in general.
I was halfway through telling them how I’d called a truce with my old sparring partner Caroline Higgins, after bumping into her in the tiny waiting room area of Dr Freedman, the STD specialist, when Michael appeared at the table.
Without my realizing it, he’d crept up behind me as I revealed, ‘I was only there for a smear, but with the look of mortification on her face, God only knows what condition of itchy fanny she could have been in for.’
‘Hello everyone.’ Michael smiled, all pleased with himself. ‘Are we all enjoying the festive season?’
‘Yes, thanks,’ rang the chorus. ‘Oh, hi,’ I stuttered, taken back by his arrival. ‘How long have you been here?’
‘Long enough,’ he smirked. ‘So, how did you get on with the doc?’
‘Oh God, I got on grand, thanks.’ My face had now turned bright red. ‘Clean as a whistle, apparently.’
‘Well, congratulations, Miss Valentine. Yet another reason to celebrate this Christmas. Now everyone, are we all ready to make a food order?’
And just like that an awkward situation passed. He was a slick dude, and as he departed to pass our orders to the kitchen, thumbs all around the table were raised. Everyone agreed he was a decent skin.
It would be a lot easier if he was a jerk and the gang hated him. Staying single would be a lot simpler.
‘He’s almost as cute as my William,’ gushed Lisa as she rubbed noses with her newest recruit.
‘I don’t know … I might be better off letting him go. If I gave him a chance and then messed it up, where would we go to eat?’
It was a weak argument, and Lisa was having none of it.
‘There’ll be other cafés, Eva, but you gotta let the love in when it comes a-knockin’. Just look at me and Will. He was my chalet boy at Lech, and the instant I set eyes on him I knew I’d met the one.’
‘Jaysus, don’t hold back, princess, whatever you do. No offence, Will.’
‘None taken,’ he smiled.
‘Look, Will walked in offering clean sheets, and I offered him the chance to dirty them. He wanted to service me, and I wanted to be serviced. It’s a supply and demand thing. You have a desire to be loved, and Michael “nervous breakdown boy” wants to show you love. Life is not a rehearsal. You got to make every moment count.’
‘Get her,’ interrupted Parker, almost choking on a piece of brown bread. ‘What movie did you stroke that line out of? Life is not a rehearsal. Who are you, Mae West?’
‘She’s got a point,’ agreed Maddie, currently enjoying her own carpe diem moment, ‘I sure as hell wouldn’t be turning down the opportunity of love from a guy who has that much familiarity with money. Then again, lunch with you lot is the most exciting thing that’s happened to me in weeks so I’m easily pleased.’
She was right. Who was I to close the window of opportunity? Despite recent events I was a survivor, and although the war wounds of age were starting to collect, I was still able to attract interest from the opposite sex, and I’d be a fool to reject a seemingly decent bloke like Michael. The fact that I’d already been left with egg on my face by a different son-of-a-bitch called Michael, who also had a New York connection, was irrelevant.
I was too young to worry about my heart getting broken. And too old to let such a bachelor get away.
Maddie was always the spontaneous one. But now I’d have to be impulsive and unrestrained for the pair of us, since her reckless days were over. God love her. She has a mean task ahead of her trying to find a good man to love her and another man’s child. It wasn’t an impossible mission, but her luck and outlook would need to change drastically.
I was just drifting off into a little world where I imagined how life would be as Mrs Whomever, when Parker put his arm around me and told me how well I was looking.
‘Are you feeling all right?’ I asked, not used to praise coming from his direction.
‘Fine, thanks,’ he chirped back. ‘Just thought you deserved to know you were looking particularly attractive today, that’s all. No hidden agenda.’
Wow. Compliments without demands from Parker, maybe my luck had already started to change. Strike that: Parker was the one who had changed, but I was happy for him and his new happiness. And who knows, maybe it was time for my own reversal from such terrible qualities as selfishness, greed and an insatiable need for attention and fun. I’d love to be considerate, compassionate and less diva-like.
Champagne Kisses Page 25