by Aubrey Irons
And for the hundredth time, I can’t decide if I wish she’d never stepped into the back room of that bar or not. If she hadn’t, well, this gets simpler.
Noncomplex.
Unmessied.
Organized, how I like it.
But then, I like that she stepped into that room. I like that she fell into me.
I like it even if it’s fucking with my head on a very core, fundamental level.
“Hey.”
She flinches away when I step towards her, and my eyes narrow at her.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Sierra-” I raise my hand to touch her, but she shrugs me off.
“The fuck is your prob-”
“Who’s Sheila?”
My heart drops.
“What did you say?” I growl.
She finally turns towards me, her eyes wavering as she tries to make a show of keeping a bold face on, despite clearly being scared.
“Sheila, who is-”
“None of your goddamn business,” I snap.
Her brow arches at the ferocity of my response, but then she scowls right back. I don’t know how she knows about that, but it’s nothing I need to get into with her. It’s nothing I will get into with her.
I look away.
The buried past is just that: buried, and in the past for a reason. My eyes travel the room, looking for whatever put Sheila into her head. She must have seen something around the house - an old picture with names on it or something.
But then, she’s asking me about it, specifically, which makes me think it’s probably more than a picture. And there’s that edge to her voice, like she-
“Who told you.”
She freezes. “No one.”
My jaw clenches as I step towards her. “Sierra-”
“What happened to her?”
“She died,” I spit venomously. “She was someone I knew a lifetime ago, and someone I never should have gotten involved with, and what we had was fleeting.”
I don’t blink. I don’t look away. I keep my eyes locked with hers because I want her to feel this.
“We were a couple of young kids not knowing what the fuck we were doing, and we stopped doing it because stopping was the right thing to do, and then she fucking died, okay?”
I whirl, my eyes finally squeezing shut and my hands pushing through my hair. The rage and the heat of those days comes roaring back inside, burning me, flames licking at the edges of mental photographs and memories I buried deep a long time ago.
“Connor, I-” I feel her hand on my back. “I’m sorry,” she says softly.
“Yeah, well, me fucking too, princess.”
I turn back and her whole face is different - softer, crumpled, pained.
“I- I didn’t know, I’m sorry.”
She steps towards me and I bristle for one more second before my shoulders deflate.
“She was Aela’s sister.”
“Your brother’s fiancée?”
I nod. “Sheila was her older sister. We weren’t - I don’t know. We were young, and figuring shit out and just decided to figure it out together, even if we knew it was probably a bad idea. Sheila had a lot of problems.”
I look away.
“Actually problems isn’t the word.”
‘Problems’ is your parents getting divorced, or not getting into your first choice of college, or getting busted for drinking or some shit.
“She was bright and beautiful, and full of - fuck, I don’t know. She was one of those consummately happy, bubbly people, until…”
Sierra bites her lip, like she wants to know, but isn’t sure if she really does. Like she wants to ask but is afraid of what the answer might be.
“Until Mick.”
Something like ice slides through my heart just uttering his fucking name out loud.
“Mick worked for her dad. He was Jack’s top captain actually - a sort of family friend.”
My jaw clenches, and I turn to stare a hole through the wall.
“She was young when it started.”
I glance at Sierra as her face falls, her hand coming to cover her mouth.
“He-” my voice chokes. “He kept her quiet with threats at first - that he’d tell her dad what she was doing even though he was the one forcing her to do it. That he’d tell her sister or her friends and ruin her reputation. After that, he got precise with his control of her.”
I look away.
“We were eighteen when Mick gave her first taste of heroin, and after that, it was just a slow fade. After that, she was his.”
I take a shaking breath.
“What-” Sierra’s face is white, her eyes wide and horrified. “What happened to-”
“She OD’d and she died, eight years and three days ago”
Tears start to trace their way down Sierra’s face, and I can feel that icy hand on my heart squeeze just a little tighter.
“That’s who Sheila was,” I say softly. “That’s my skeleton in the closet.”
I turn to look away, but Sierra suddenly steps into me, her hand slipping into mine.
“I’m- look, this is all… I guess this isn’t exactly what I’m used to, and-”
“I know,” I say quietly, turning back to her.
“I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“What did bring it up?”
She chews her lip, worry across her face as she takes a shaky breath.
“Back at your loft, when I went to check my phone…” she looks down. “Someone was there.”
I bristle. “What?”
“I was talking to my brother on the phone in your car, and this FBI agent was just there. Agent-”
“Marlow.”
She nods, her eyes flitting over my face, full of worry, and fear.
Fear of me, I suppose.
It’s the reason I don’t even bother asking why she didn’t tell me before because I already know the answer.
Because she’s scared of me. Or was and then wasn’t, but then I’m sure Marlow scared the fuck out of her about me and told her all sorts of shit to freak her out.
“Of course he fed you Sheila,” I growl. “He did it to fuck with me.”
I look at the white look on her face, the way her eyes look everywhere but my eyes.
“He scared you, didn’t he.”
She nods.
“Told you a bunch of stuff about me.”
Sierra nods again.
“Showed you pictures of horrible shit?”
She nods again, her lip trembling.
“Are you scared of me?”
She swallows, still not looking me in the eye.
“No.”
“Liar.”
She smiles quietly, her eyes flickering to mine for just a second. “Maybe a little. Is it- I mean, did you-”
“Do those things?”
I shake my head.
“Some of them, probably.”
Her face goes ashen.
“Look at me.”
She shuts her eyes, shaking her head. My hands go to her shoulders, and when she flinches, something pains inside of me.
“Sierra,” I say quietly, my hands stroking her shoulders. “Look at me.”
She opens her eyes.
“I do what I do because the Saints are my family. Your own family - do you love them?”
“Of course.”
“Would you kill for them?”
Her brow shoots up. “I- I don’t know?”
“Okay, how about, if someone was going to kill them, would you kill to protect them?”
“Yes,” she whispers.
She says it without hesitancy. I like that.
“Well, in my life, it’s not always a hypothetical question. I’m not a monster, Sierra. I don’t go off wantonly killing or doing fucking drive-by’s or gangster movie shit like that. I fix problems. I sweep the dirt under the rug, and I make the bad stuff go away however I deem it necessary.”
&nbs
p; “Was that what I was? The dirt to sweep under the rug?”
“No,” I growl, pulling her close and feeling something blaze inside of me.
“I don’t know what you were, but you fell into me the other night and I-”
The fuck am I saying?
What the actual hell am I saying?
“I like that you fell into me,” I say quietly.
“Me too,” she whispers.
“I’m sorry you’re in this, and I’m sorry Marlow freaked you out, but I need you to answer this right now and right here.”
Her eyes meet mine.
“Two questions, sweetheart. Are you scared of me?”
She hesitates. For a second, she drags her teeth over her lip, her eyes studying my face.
Hesitating is good. Thinking hard on that first is good. I should sort of scare her, even now.
“No,” she finally says.
That’s better than good.
“Do you trust me?”
There’s another beat, but this time, it’s shorter.
She nods.
“I do.”
“Then that’s all I need right now.”
And I kiss her.
I wonder if I’m going to find hesitance. I wonder if this thing with fucking Marlow freaking her out about me shatters whatever this is.
That worry goes right out the window when she grabs my neck and yanks me against her. She whimpers hungrily as her lips part and her tongue finds mine, and when she presses her small body tight against mine and holds me like she’s afraid she might blow away, that’s the last of the wondering I need to do.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Connor
I carry her in my arms back up the stairs to the bedroom, tossing her down on the bed with a shriek that gets my cock throbbing hard. I crawl over her, flipping her onto her stomach and tracing a hand down her bare back. Sierra purrs, arching her body and scrunching the sheets in her hands.
My hand moves lower as I hover over her, until I cup her sweet little ass in my palm and squeeze.
“I want more of this,” I growl into her ear.
She gasps a shuddered breath, her head turning as her eyes slide to mine. Even in the semi-darkness of the room, I can see the blush that spreads over her face.
“Why?” she says breathlessly.
“Because I think I like you, but I know I like this ass.”
She laughs and then bites her lip, dragging her teeth over the skin as I grab her ass possessively. I give it a small swat, watching her flesh move and groaning at the way she catches her breath.
“No one’s ever done that,” she says over her shoulder at me, her eyes hooded. “What you did before, I mean. I’ve never-” her face blooms dark red again.
“Say it.”
“Been licked there,” she whispers.
“And?”
My knee goes between her thighs, spreading them. My eyes dip down her back, my hand sliding between her parted legs and running a finger over her pussy.
She’s dripping wet.
I drag my eyes back to hers, seeing them half closed, her mouth hanging open as I tease her softly.
“You can say you liked it, I won’t tell anyone.”
She bites her lip, her eyes sparking something fierce as they narrow on me.
“I liked it,” she husks out, and it’s almost a shameful admission, except I can tell by that edge in her voice that admitting it is turning her on even more.
“Guess you’re a dirtier girl than you thought.”
“I like being dirty, with you,” she whispers.
I ease down over her, my lips right by her ear as my fingers continue to lightly stroke her heated cunt.
“Well, we should keep going with that don’t you think?”
“Being dirty?”
“Yes,” I hiss into her ear, nipping at it with my teeth and making her shiver. I can feel how wet she is, and suddenly, I’m not in the mood for teasing.
I flip us both over and drag her up into my lap. My back’s against the headboard, legs outstretched, and Sierra straddling my cock with her thighs on either side of mine.
I stroke my cock against her opening, feeling her wet heat fucking drip down my shaft as she moans above me. She pushes down, engulfing the first few inches of me in her sweet heaven before she just moans and sinks the rest of the way down. She whimpers as she rises up, rolling her hips as her eyes lock onto mine before she takes every inch of me again with a mewling sigh.
My hands fall to her hips, gripping her tight as she rides me before they slide back to cup that perfect ass of hers again. My hands knead her skin, cupping that candy apple ass in my palms as she bounces up and down. A wicked grin spreads over my face as I move one hand closer to her center, letting my finger tease around our joining. She moans throatily, her hair cascading over her face as her hands drop to grip my chest. She keeps rocking in my lap, riding my shaft as my finger starts to get bolder.
I slide it up, and when I let it tease over her asshole again, she shivers. I push it, teasing around her opening, testing her waters. She doesn’t stop me. She doesn’t push my hand away. She only shudders and gasps, her rocking getting more insistent, her pussy clutching tighter on my shaft.
And she whimpers.
She tenses when I ease a finger against her, but she doesn’t stop me. Fuck, she moans louder, and my cock lurches inside of her.
I move my hand away, rocking my hips up to grind deep inside of her and rub that spot I can tell drives her crazy.
It works.
The cry rips from her lips, her head tossing back and her fingers scratching my chest as the mini-climax tumbles through her. She’s still panting when I turn us over, laying her on her back and slowly thrusting inside, filling her deep and slow as she comes down from her orgasm. I slip out of her reluctantly and move us closer to the edge of the bed as I stand next to it.
“Lay back, beautiful,” I husk. I pull her legs up against my torso, her ankles by my shoulders as I slip inside again. My thumb moves to her clit, teasing her in easy circles as I fuck her deep and slow. I keep it up until she’s starting to melt for me all over again, her hands clutching at the sheets and her head twisting from side to side in ecstasy.
Slowly, I ease out of her slick center and ease my thumb inside, in my cock’s place. Sierra whimpers as I curl it deep, her eyes still closed as her breath comes quickly.
I slide my thumb out, and when I move it lower, her eyes finally fly open. Her cheeks go bright red, and her eyes go wide.
“What are you-”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
There’s no hesitation this time, and something about that tugs at something inside of me. It also makes my cock twitch between my thighs.
“Spread your legs,” I growl. She does, holding the backs of her thighs and spreading as her eyes lock with mine. I push my thumb against her ass, and I watch her eyes get bigger - her lips slowly forming this wide “O” shape as I slowly ease it inside.
“Oh fuck,” she whimpers, taking a shuddered breath. I slip my cock back against her pussy and push inside, making her gasp at the now slightly tighter fit as I push inside.
I rock in and out for another minute before I slip my cock and my thumb out of her. I slide my cock down, slipping it closer to my goal as I watch her breath come faster and faster.
“We can stop whenever you-”
“I know,” she says quickly, her eyes locked on my throbbing hard cock.
I grit my teeth as I push the head against her virgin opening and slowly add pressure. She groans, her hands gripping her thighs so tight her knuckles are white. She’s impossibly tight, but slowly, I can feel her spreading for me. Slowly - so fucking slowly it almost makes me come right there and then, the head slips inside.
Sierra’s eyes fly open, and her jaw drops as a small whimpered moan falls from her sweet lips.
“Oh holy fuck,” she gasped. I squeeze my eyes shut, my hands tightening on her
waist as I fight the urge to either explode right there or drive balls-deep inside.
The feeling passes, and when I open my eyes, I groan.
She’s fucking beautiful.
She’s sweet, untouched pureness that I can’t wait to sully. She’s my new favorite drink, and I’m going to fucking drown in her.
Seeing her like that, splayed out on the bed, holding her legs wide open for me with her eyes hooded with lust and her chest rising and falling with her breath - it’s almost more than I can take.
She’s goddamn perfect.
I push my cock in deeper, watching that O of her lips get wider, and listening to the whining moan in her chest get louder. Our bodies tremble, muscles straining and breaths grunting as I drive deeper. Slowly, my hands on her hips, I push every fucking inch of my cock inside, until my hips are flat against her and her moans are clawing me under.
I grit my teeth fighting the urge to come as I feel her squeeze me tight - so fucking tight. I drag my eyes up from where we join, to her slick, pink pussy, up her belly to her heaving chest, then higher, to her face.
Our eyes meet, and when I see the same hunger in hers that I know are in mine, I fucking growl as I throb deep inside of her ass.
“Go slow,” she whimpers, her breath coming haggard and her mouth slack. Her fingers are tight on her own legs as I pull back, slowly inching out of her and feeling my fucking toes curl. I rock back inside, going slowly, but barely able to hang onto that promise as my eyes practically roll back in my head.
My hips roll as I start to fuck her slowly, her body trembling and her panted moans like honey in my ear on every stroke. I reach for one of her hands and pull it down between her legs. I move both of our fingers over her slippery clit, rolling them over her little nub and groaning as she cries out in ecstasy.
I move my hands to her thighs, pushing her legs back and wide as she plays with her pussy, her eyes locked onto mine. Her other hand finds her nipples, teasing and twisting them as her moans get louder and louder.
I start to lose control. I start to move faster. I start to drive every goddamn inch of my cock deep in her impossibly tight ass on every stroke, until we’re both panting like fucking animals.