“You think the crew pities you?” he said.
“Don’t you? I’m not one of them anymore. I’m not a Naval officer serving by their side. I was violated. In their eyes, in yours, I’m a victim.”
He stalked across the small room until he stood toe-to-toe with her. “Don’t tell me how I see you, especially when you’re wrong.”
“Tell me.” Her voice had dropped to a whisper, her mouth as dry as the Mojave, and her heart pounding in her ears. She’d kept her distance from him, but with him standing so close and once again defending her she was transported back to that bar in Boston and reminded again of the chemistry between them. Except now it was so much more because she knew the man behind the sexy smile and mischievous eyes.
“You’re an amazing person, Nic.”
She looked up to find those smoldering eyes with ridiculously long lashes looking down at her. He didn’t touch, didn’t move back. Every square inch of her body burned with the heat from his.
“You’re intelligent, ambitious, and kind. You’re also strong and resilient and I don’t believe for one minute you’re going to let those jerks get the better of you.”
Words got stuck in her throat, blocked as she fought to keep her emotions in check and not cry all over his coveralls. She couldn’t look at him, or she’d lose the internal battle, because while he thought she was all of those things, basically a warrior, she was only human. Finally she managed to say, “You have a lot of faith in me.”
Gently he lifted her chin until their eyes met. “You’re the only woman in a crew of one-hundred and forty. In the past few weeks you’ve qualified for a third of the systems on the boat. You’ve taken all the ribbing in stride up until now. You’ll get through this, Nic.”
“I feel so alone.”
He stepped back, his jaw dropped, hands held out. “What am I? The Ghost of Boyfriends Past?”
She dropped back to sit on the edge of her rack and buried her face in her hands. If only, she thought. It’d be so nice to wake and find this had all been a dream.
“I’m pretty sure one night, no matter how great, doesn’t qualify you for the term of boyfriend. However…” She held up her hands in surrender. “I get what you’re saying.”
He held a hand out. “I’ll be with you every step. Okay?”
She gave him a shaky nod.
“What do you say we get some chow? Based on what you didn’t eat, you’ve got to be starving.”
“Yeah, food would be good. First I need to hit the head, if you could do me a favor?”
“Sure. Name it.”
She wiped her sweat-slicked palms down her sides. “I know it’s stupid, but can you stand guard for me?”
A few minutes later, with Kyle at her side, Nic entered the wardroom as the rest of the officers were grabbing dinner. Conversations continued as they filled their plates with steak, mashed potatoes, gravy and salad—comfort foods—and joined the others at the long table. No one mentioned Stone or the incident directly. A few talked about how they’d surprise their wives and kids with the unexpected return. The chatter flowed around her, not really ignoring her, yet not really including her.
She pushed the steak around on her plate. Shoved a spoonful of potatoes and gravy in her mouth when Kyle looked down at her plate and then met her gaze. They tasted like glue and lodged in her throat making it impossible to swallow. Half a cup of hot tea and several hard swallows later and the lump of goo made its way down.
She looked up to find the CO watching her. He smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes. Her gaze bounced around the other members at the table, everyone seemed to be watching her, their smiles too bright, the conversation too mundane, too normal. She should have stayed in her room. Snuck down between dinner and midrats and grabbed leftovers. Then everyone could relax.
Especially poor Mace. She’d purposely sat on the other end of the table from him to save him any embarrassment. Every now and then she could feel someone watching her. Was it him? Was he picturing her naked right then? Oh God, who else? Even if they didn’t see the video, were they thinking about it? Wishing they had seen it? If it had just been Kyle she could handle it, after all, he’d already seen her in the buff, with her consent, but this…
The more the thoughts crowded her brain the harder it got to breathe as if a giant’s hand were squeezing her lungs. Sweat trickled down her back. White spots danced before her eyes as black fog crept in. She had to get out of there before she passed out in front of everyone.
If she ran out, that’d just up the pity factor. There was one sure way to get her excused and get their minds off of her. As much as she hated to play the girl card… Desperate times and all that.
As she stood and pushed back her chair, all eyes turned toward her.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’m not feeling so well.” She saw it, the instant pity so she laid her palm across her abdomen. “Cramps.”
Fifteen sets of eyes suddenly found something more interesting to look upon. She escaped while she could because the blackness at the edge of her vision still threatened and the giant hadn’t released his hold on her lungs.
Chapter Eight
For the past six days Nic had spent most of her time in her room, not really hiding out, but still avoiding people. She couldn’t meet anyone’s gaze without wondering what they were thinking and if they’d seen it.
Thankfully it was almost over, at least, this portion of the nightmare. In a few minutes they’d be pulling back into port and she could escape what had become her personal prison cell. Most of her stuff was already packed. She’d changed from the shapeless poopy suit into her aquaflage—NWU, a Navy working uniform which looked like blue camouflage, that they wore while in port—and grabbed for her jeans, shoving them into her duffle with extra force.
Freaking Stone and his buddies. They’d screwed everything up. And for what?
As far as porn went it was pretty tame, even boring.
Thank goodness he hadn’t caught her on one of the days she’d been fantasizing about a certain weapons officer. During one of her late night trips to the galley, as she’d taken to skipping most meals, she’d overheard a couple of the men saying she was overreacting to the whole thing. Given the content was three-minutes of her shampooing, soaping up and rinsing off, she could see how they might think that. However, it wasn’t what she was doing in the shower that made the video wrong.
Stone invaded her privacy. Spied on her. Stolen away her sense of security and broken her trust with the crew.
She didn’t understand it. Did he really think he’d make money off of it? Or did he do it to prove that women didn’t belong on subs? There were still some old school holdouts; those who believed women had their place, like the kitchen and bedroom, but not in uniform.
Whatever the reasoning behind his actions, it was time to put it behind her and move forward. He’d taken up enough of her headspace. These last few days… if it hadn’t been for Kyle. She’d still be curled up in the corner of her rack. He’d been her rock, her pillar of strength, and most importantly, her friend.
“Hey there.” Kyle’s warm voice cascaded over her, bringing a smile to her face.
She turned around to greet him. Like her, he’d swapped out his coveralls for the working uniform, but where it swallowed her up, the material hugged his body. “How are you doing today?”
He’d asked the same question every day for the past week and where once she’d worried about them crossing a line and breaking rules, now she worried that he’d moved her into the friend zone.
“Good. Done packing and looking forward to seeing some blue skies and breathing fresh air. How about you? Got any big plans since we’re home?”
“Pick up my roommate’s cat from the kennel, order some pizza, and chill in front of the TV. Thought you’d want to know security is here and they’re taking the guys to the base brig now. Captain’s told them to give you a day before questioning you.”
; “Oh, that’s good. Good.” The strength in her legs left her and she sunk down on the edge of the rack. “What about you? You’ll need to give a statement, right? I mean you’re the one who discovered… who found them out.”
The giant was back, squeezing on her lungs and the boat started rocking back and forth. Which was not a normal thing on a submarine. For a second the lights went out and when they came back on Kyle was kneeling in front of her.
“Put your head between your knees and breathe,” he said.
“I’m okay.”
“You don’t look okay. You passed out and you’re as pale as a ghost.” He rubbed his strong, warm hand over her back as she focused on breathing.
“That’s just my Irish showing through.” She sat back up. “Really, I’m okay now. I guess I just didn’t think about having to talk to anyone else about this situation once we got back. That I could pretend like it never happened and go on with my life. Then it hit me. I’ll have to talk to the squadron investigators, lawyers, reporters, and oh God, my family.”
He lifted her chin to make her look at him. “It’ll be okay. I told you, I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
“You say that now. You haven’t met my dad or my brothers.”
He grinned. “I’m not worried. Remember, I’m the hero of this story.”
She laughed as she looked into his eyes that were a stormy gray today. “That you are, Kyle Hutchinson, and I don’t know what I would have done without you throughout this mess. Once again, you were my champion. Thank you.”
“You would have been just fine, Nic.”
His voice was low and husky. Over the past month his hair had grown back in and it was still damp from the shower and she could smell the fresh scent of his soap. He leaned in closer, stopping shy of touching her.
“The skipper gave everyone forty-eight hours of liberty. I was thinking I might escape for a few days. Wouldn’t happen to have any recommendations would you?” She was thinking abandoned island, just the two of them.
“I know this great little place in Boston. Right next door is this bar where you can shoot pool or lose yourself on the dance floor. Not very popular with the Navy crowd.” He was so close she could almost taste his minty toothpaste on the air.
“Yeah? Too bad all my girlfriends are busy right now.”
“Yeah, too bad.” His hands slipped up and around to the back of her head, drawing her to him. His lips skimmed over hers. She reached out to grab on to something, anything to steady her and curled her fingers around the lapels of his shirt. The temperature in the room kicked up a couple of degrees.
“Kyle, we shouldn’t.”
He nibbled along her jawline until he reached her ear. “Okay, we’ll go to the Cape instead.”
Liquid heat pooled in the center of her body and he ran his tongue in slow circles in the sensitive hollow below her ear, making his way to her collarbone. “Kyle.”
He framed her face, his gaze steady on hers. “I’ve missed you, Nic. Missed this. I’m transferring soon, so it won’t matter. We’ll go away for a couple of days, no one will know.”
Before she could respond, he stole her breath away with a soul-searing kiss that left her hearing bells.
They broke apart as the 1MC came on. “SUBLANT on board.”
“Oh shit,” Nic jumped up, knocking Kyle over. “My father’s here.”
Quickly she smoothed the sides of her hair, trying to tuck any strays that Kyle’s hands pulled free back into their bun. She threw the last remaining personal items into her duffle and closed it before realizing Kyle was still standing in her room.
“What are you doing?” She pushed him toward the door, or rather tried. “You’ve got to leave before he sees you in here.”
“Nic, we’re not doing anything wrong.”
She crossed her arms, cocked her head and said nothing.
“Now. And I’m not afraid of your dad.” He wrapped a loose strand around his finger and pulled her toward him. “Relax. He’ll see the CO first. You’ve even got time to escape if you want to avoid seeing him, which sounds like a great idea. Let’s drop your stuff off, pick up the cat, and go back to my place. We’ll have pizza delivered and let it go cold while we make up for the past couple of weeks.”
She was so very tempted to say yes. The idea of losing herself in Kyle’s arms for a few hours sounded like heaven. But first she had to face her dad. The men and women who worked for Vice Admiral Patrick Riley might fear the man, but underneath his gruff and tough exterior laid the heart of a teddy bear.
“Maybe later. I need to get a room at the BOQ and well, if my dad’s here, there’s a good chance my mom is too. They might have family plans for tonight.”
Like lecturing her about getting out of the Navy. She also needed to apologize to her dad for dragging them into this mess and publicity nightmare. Not that she pictured the story on CNN or the front page of every major newspaper in the country. In reality the civilian world would probably go along with their blissful lives and never know this kind of thing happened. No, it wasn’t John and Jane Smith of Middletown, America she worried about. It was the high and mighty at the Capitol.
“Give me your phone.” Kyle held out his hand, waiting.
She did as he demanded and a few minutes later he handed it back.
“Now you have the number and address. If you want to escape, I’ll be there.” He turned to go right as the door opened.
A giant bear of a man with strawberry blond hair and piercing blue eyes filled the doorframe. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Kyle snap to attention.
Yeah, he’s not afraid of my dad at all, Nic thought.
She joined Kyle, showing proper respect for her dad’s rank, but she took her time doing so.
“At ease, officers.” The deep baritone of her dad’s voice lifted the corners of her mouth. Not a lot. Not enough for most to notice, but Patrick Riley did. He cocked that left brow of his like he always did when something caught his eye. “Lieutenant Hutchinson, I understand we owe you a debt of gratitude.”
“Just doing my job, sir.” Kyle’s spine was a straight as a ruler.
Her dad waited a beat, never breaking eye contact with Kyle. “I’d like to talk to you for a minute. Wait for me in the wardroom while I speak with Lieutenant Riley in private. Dismissed Lieutenant Hutchinson.”
Kyle glanced her way once on his way out the door, not a word said, his mouth a grim line. Nic waited until her dad dismissed the XO as well and then rolled her eyes at him.
“Seriously, Pops. Do you have to be the hard ass all the time? Kyle—Lieutenant Hutchinson—isn’t the bad guy here.”
“What was he doing in your room?” He stood feet shoulder width apart, fingers splayed on his hips, eyes glaring somewhere between teddy bear and polar bear.
“Letting me know the scum buckets behind what I expect is the reason for your visit today are on their way to the base brig.” The humiliation hit her square on and she fought to hold the tears back.
The man who thrived on being called an alpha-asshole by the fleet opened his arms and she flew into them, just like she did when she was little. She let the tears she’d been holding back all week flow, not caring that his summer whites were getting wet. No one would chastise him. Not caring about her so-called adult independence or need to prove she could play with the boys. Sometimes a girl just needed her dad.
He rocked her back and forth, smoothing her hair and murmuring soft words. When her eyes dried up, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed her dad on his cheek before stepping back to sit on the edge of her rack.
Her dad pulled out the chair and sat. It was a normal size office chair, but he made it look like it belonged in a classroom.
“Feeling better, Lily-Pad?”
“I hate that name,” she sniffled.
“I know.”
Suddenly she felt a little more like herself than she had all week. It could be that with
her dad by her side, she knew nobody would fuck with her. She was safe.
“I’ve missed you, Pops.” She found a Kleenex stuffed into the side of her sea bag and blew her nose. “I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault you missed my birthday party, Lily-Pad. Orders come first. Although, I’ll tell you your mom went out of her way on this one. It was one for the record books.” At the mention of her mom, his eyes got a misty twinkle and his mouth automatically slid into a smile. His fidgety hands gave away the calm he was trying to portray.
“That’s not what I was referring to, but you knew that. And I am sorry I missed the party too. Admiral, why are you here?” She held up her hands to hold off his reply just yet. “Please tell me it’s personal or a coincidence.”
“It’s business and personal. I had a retirement ceremony yesterday to attend and I stayed over to see my girl. Is that a crime?”
She sat back and studied him. Patrick Sean Michael Riley had been blessed at birth and could tell a tale with the best of the Irish and make you believe every word of it was real. His eyes sparked with mischief, but then they usually did. His cheeks were ruddy because he’d spent more than five minutes in the sun recently. His body appeared relaxed, as if they were kicked back at home in the living room. So why did she have a sinking suspicion he was here as more than just her dad?
“Pops,” she reached out to grab his hand. “I know you have the power in your little finger to send those men to the brig for a very long time. As much as a part of me wants that… I can’t let you. It would undermine everything I’ve worked for and cause a bigger scandal than this already is. You have to step back and stay out of this.”
“Lieutenant, I do not need you or anyone else to tell me how to do my job. Not as a naval officer or a father. Understood?” He lashed out in love and she suspected her mom had already had this conversation with him, so Nic didn’t take offense to his gruff tone.
“Understood.”
He stood and pulled her up to tuck under his side. “Your mom’s worried about you. Wants you to take some leave time and come home for a couple of weeks so she can fuss over you.”
Love Runs Deep Page 9