by Elks, Carrie
Nate opened his mouth, but she lifted her finger up to quieten him. “Okay, so her friend offers to go and talk to him. Laura I think her name is. So yesterday, after they’ve had their dinner and they’re given some free time, this Laura heads for Leo’s room and leaves Riley on her own in her hotel room. For two hours.” Kirsten raised an eyebrow. “So of course Riley goes looking for her. And when she finds them, this Laura and Leo are kissing like crazy in the recreation room. And Riley’s standing there devastated because pretty much the only friend she has in her new school has betrayed her with the boy she likes.”
Nate sighed. “Not a great friend.”
“Nope. So Riley’s really upset and doesn’t know what to do and tries to call – what’s her name, Ally?”
“Yeah.”
“But Ally doesn’t answer. And there’s no way Riley’s going to sleep in the room she’s sharing with Laura because she’s way too upset to even look at her. She goes to her teacher to ask for help, but the teacher tells her she can’t swap rooms and to be an adult about things.” Kirsten winced. “Great teacher.”
“I guess I’ll be talking to the school, too.”
“Yeah, well this teacher also happened to have her car stolen by your daughter, so I wouldn’t be too angry about it.”
Nate swallowed. “The car’s been returned to her. Unharmed. And the teacher will be recompensed for the inconvenience. I even had the gas topped off.”
Kirsten caught his eye. She was biting her lip. Any minute now she looked as though she was going to burst into laughter. “Riley really messed up this time, didn’t she?”
“She’s going to be grounded for the rest of her life. And possibly after that.”
“The poor kid. Life really sucks for her at the moment.”
“She can join the club.” Nate let his head fall back onto the stuffed armchair, closing his eyes to try and calm himself down. Like Kirsten, he felt the strange need to laugh. Possibly because what he really wanted to do was cry.
“I haven’t got to the best part yet,” Kirsten said. Nate lifted his head to look at her. “You know, the piece where she gets home and finds her dad in bed with some smoking hot blonde who’s been staying with them.” This time she really did laugh. “Oh Nate, you’ve been a bad, bad boy.”
He closed his eyes, trying to block out the regret that was churning in his stomach. “Shut up.”
“Is it serious between the two of you?”
He opened his eyes, taking in Kirsten’s gentle concern. He had no plans to get into this conversation right now. Especially with his sister. “I don’t know. We were having some fun while Riley was away.”
“Not so much fun now though, I bet?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“I thought you were done with relationships after Stephanie. I never thought you’d be back to sowing your wild oats so soon.”
A sudden tiredness washed over him, making every muscle in his body ache. “You know what? I think I might take a nap, too. I’ve been awake since two-thirty this morning.” He stood and stretched his arms, as if to underscore the fact he wasn’t just attempting to evade her questions. Though if he was honest, that was a pretty big reason to close his eyes. “Can I hit your bed for an hour?”
Kirsten’s smirk was replaced by a look of concern. “Oh God, I’m sorry, you must be exhausted. Of course you can, the bed’s all made up. And if you want to shower first there are fresh towels in my bathroom.”
He felt as though he’d just dodged a bullet. One heading straight for his heart. As much as he loved his sister, right now she was the last person he wanted to talk to about Ally. Okay, the second-to-last person. The last person was sleeping in the guest room.
“Sleep tight, big brother.” Kirsten smiled at him.
“I’ll give it my best shot.”
* * *
“Nate?”
He opened his eyes, looking around the darkened room. Whoever just spoke was standing in the doorway, silhouetted against the light spilling in from the hall. “Kirsten?” he said, his voice croaky. “That you?”
“Yeah. I’m heading out to dinner with a couple of friends. I thought it would give you a chance to speak to Riley without me here cramping your style. I’ll only be gone a couple of hours.”
“What time is it?” He sat up and looked at his crumpled clothes. He was wearing the same t-shirt he’d grabbed that morning before the police arrived, along with a pair of old jeans.
“Almost six. Riley’s stirring but she hasn’t woken up yet. Or at least she hasn’t shown her face outside the guest bedroom. If you need me to be out any longer just message me. Otherwise I’ll bring you both something back to eat on my way home.”
“Are you okay with us staying here tonight?” He felt more awake now. Sitting up, he swung his legs around to touch the floor, and something about the movement reminded him of Ally.
He pushed that thought right out of his mind.
“Sure. I can take the couch.”
“I’ll take the couch,” Nate told her. “I’m not throwing you out of your room as well as imposing on you. I’ll book us a flight home for tomorrow.”
“Home?” she asked, smiling. “Which one?”
“Angel Sands.”
She gave a little chuckle. “I thought you might say that. And I’m glad. I know things have gone spectacularly wrong these past couple of days, but it really seemed like Riley had turned a corner before then.” Kirsten pulled a jacket on. “Anyway, I’ll speak with you later. Call me if things threaten to explode. And whatever you do, don’t let Riley leave. God only knows when you’d find her again.”
“Wasn’t planning on it.”
Kirsten left with a wave, pulling the front door closed behind her. Nate sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, blinking his way back to full wakefulness.
He might have slept the afternoon away, but it hadn’t done anything to improve his mood. He needed to get himself into a better one and fast. There was only room for one teenager in this apartment, and it certainly wasn’t him.
Maybe coffee would help. He walked across Kirsten’s bedroom, glancing at himself in the darkened mirror. His hair was a mess, his face was worse, and he looked like he’d slept for hours in these clothes.
He really did need coffee and fast.
“Kirsten?” Riley’s voice was sleepy as she pushed the guest room door open. Nate stopped in the hallway and held his breath for a moment. Then she walked out, her hair as messy as his, her face red and creased where she’d been sleeping on it. “Dad?” Her eyes widened. “When did you get here?”
“A couple of hours ago.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
“Kirsten said you were beat. I was pretty tired myself. I thought we could both use the rest.” He kept his voice even. There was time for shouting and time for calm. This was definitely one of the latter occasions.
Riley opened her mouth and closed it again, reaching up to smooth her hair back from her face. Watching her gesture was like looking in the mirror. How often did he do that when he was feeling uncomfortable?
“You okay?” he asked her.
She nodded. Then her face crumpled. “I’m sorry.” Her bottom lip wobbled. “I was so stupid. I don’t know what came over me.”
Nate cleared the distance between them in a second, put his arms around in two. Then he pulled her close, shutting his eyes and breathing her in. And for a moment – just a moment – he finally felt some peace.
She was safe. Thank you, God.
“You need to stop making decisions on impulse,” he said, his words muffled by her hair. “Because every time you do, it makes things worse. What part of stealing your teacher’s car seemed like a good idea last night? Or flying to Boston without stopping to talk to me first?”
“I don’t know.” She buried her face against his t-shirt. “It all seems like a blur. I can’t remember making those decisions. By the time my thoughts started working it was like I’d al
ready made them and I was in the middle of a horror story where things keep getting worse.”
“That’s exactly what this is like,” he said. “One of those movies where the heroine goes into the haunted house even though everybody tells her not to.”
“I’m the heroine, aren’t I?” she asked, sighing. “The one that’s too stupid to live.”
“Well you’re still alive. So that’s something.” He hugged her a little tighter. “But you’re also in big trouble, kid.”
“I know. And I’m never leaving the house again anyway, so you can ground me all you like.”
“You’ll be leaving it to apologize to your teacher. And to go for a meeting with your principal.”
She tipped her head up to look at him, her eyes wide. “Have they kicked me out?”
“I don’t know,” he told her. “Do you think they should?”
“I would if I was them. I’m nothing but trouble.” She looked so young as she stared up at him, the light catching her face. He wished he could freeze time, or even better turn it back. To those years when he could always keep her safe. “I bet mom’s turning in her grave right now.”
“Your mom would be worried about you. The way I am.” Nate sighed. “And Ally’s pretty distraught as well.” Just saying her name made his stomach contract.
Riley winced. “Oh God, she must hate me.”
“She doesn’t hate you, she’s concerned. And embarrassed that you saw…” he cleared his throat. “What you saw. She asked me to give you a message, to tell you she’s sorry for not answering your call.”
“It’s not her who should be sorry.” Riley shook her head. “I’m so ashamed. You must all hate me. I’m sorry, Dad. Sorry for everything. And I know I’ve said it before and messed up again, but this time I mean it.” She circled her arms around him again, hugging him tight. “I’m sorry I messed up your night with Ally.”
“You didn’t mess anything up. I did. I’m sorry you had to see us there. It won’t happen again.”
She looked up, her eyes shiny with tears. “I knew there was something going on between you. All those long looks and silences whenever I walked into the room. I’m not a kid, Dad. I know sexual tension when I see it.”
He stifled a groan. Just what he needed. Another member of his family he really didn’t want to have this conversation with. “There was nothing going on, not really.”
Riley grimaced. “Whatever it was, I never want to see that again. Keep it behind closed doors, thank you very much.”
Nate’s stomach gave a loud rumble. Riley stepped back and looked at him with mock-horror. “When was the last time you ate?” she asked him.
“Kirsten made me a sandwich. How about you?”
“No idea. I wasn’t hungry when I got here.” She frowned. “I am now though.”
“Kirsten said she’d bring something back later,” Nate said. “But maybe we should head out and get some dinner now.”
Riley nodded. “I’d like that,” she said, giving him another hug.
For the first time all day Nate felt his headache begin to ease off. Yes, Riley was in big trouble, and yes, she was going to be punished, but right now he wanted to hold his little girl and protect her from the world.
And the mess they’d all caused in the past twenty-four hours? He had no idea how to handle it. He’d let his daughter down so badly, again, and he hated himself for it.
When was he going to get this parenting thing right?
26
It was almost midnight when her phone rang. Ally had been sitting alone in the big beach house for hours, her body sinking into the soft leather sofa, her leg propped up on the matching footstool.
Ember had offered to come over after work, and Brooke had suggested staying with her to keep her company, but Ally had batted off their suggestions, telling them she was tired and wanted to sleep for a while.
It wasn’t really a lie. She was tired. Exhausted, even. But there was no way she was getting any sleep tonight.
“Nate?” she said breathlessly as she lifted the phone to her face. “Is Riley okay?” She missed the smell of him, the feel of his arms around hers. Missed everything feeling perfect… until it wasn’t. And didn’t that make her heart ache just a little bit more?
“She’s fine.” He sounded as drained as she felt. “She was sound asleep when I got to Kirsten’s place.”
She waited for him to say something about not calling earlier, but he was silent. “I’ve been worried,” she said, breaking the silence that hung between them. “When you didn’t call I started to think the worst.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t always call when you need me to.” There was an edge to his voice that made her breath catch in her throat. “I had to speak to the police and then to Kirsten and Riley. She’s my first priority.”
Ally licked her lips, trying to ignore the way his words made her feel. As though she was of no importance. Of course she wasn’t, not compared to his daughter.
Didn’t stop it from stinging though.
“But she’s okay?”
“I said she’s fine.”
Ally bit her lip. “Did you talk to her about…” she trailed off, the excruciating memory of Riley seeing them washing over her once again. “About us?”
“What about us?”
“About what she saw,” Ally said, keeping her voice as even as she could. “When she came home. Did you explain it to her?”
“What’s there to explain? She saw us naked. She freaked and ran away.” He cleared his throat. “So no, I didn’t try to make excuses or explain things away. There are no excuses.”
With every word he was building a wall between them. It was already so high she could barely see over it. The closeness of the past few days felt like something she’d only imagined.
But she hadn’t, had she? It was real, so real for the few days they were alone together. Before that, even. From the moment they’d met outside the coffee shop the connection had been there.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” she asked him, still trying to work out why he sounded so mean. “I could talk to Riley, maybe?”
“You really think that’s a good idea? She saw you… us… together. It would only make the situation worse.”
Ally squeezed her eyes shut. For a moment she was a teenager again, listening to Marnie complaining that she’d used up all the hot water, that she’d eaten the last cookie, or anything else that made Ally look bad in front of her dad. Would she have wanted to talk to Marnie in the same position? Not at all. She couldn’t wait to see the back of her.
Maybe Nate was right. She’d only make it worse if she got involved with the situation. But she felt so damn impotent here, knowing Riley’s world was falling apart and it was her fault.
Or at least partially.
“I don’t know…” she said, covering her face with her hand. “I just want to make things better. Maybe if I found the right words she’d understand. I know this is my fault.”
“Can you quit making this all about you?” Nate sighed. “It’s been a long goddamned day and it’s a stupid time in the morning here. I just wanted to let you know she’s okay.”
“I’m sorry, I—” She tried to think of the right words but they scurried away, hiding in the depths of her mind. Of course he was tired and angry, she would be too in his position. Yes, he was being an asshole, but it was understandable.
He was exhausted, afraid and he had Riley to think about. He was like a tiger growling because he didn’t know what else to do.
“Christ.” He let out a long sigh. She imagined him pulling at his hair the way he sometimes did when he was out of patience.
“When are you coming back?” she asked him. Maybe if they talked about something different he would calm down. She hated to think of him so irate.
“I don’t know. Tomorrow maybe. Or the next day. I need a bit of time alone with Riley first.”
“I thought you were at your sister’s place.”
&n
bsp; “We are.”
She took a deep breath in. The whole conversation was laying heavy on her. Nate’s refusal to talk about the situation was making her feel so uncomfortable, yet she didn’t know quite how to word it.
“Maybe once Riley’s back we can talk about this. All of us. It’s not healthy to sweep it under the rug.”
As soon as she said the words she knew they were the wrong ones. The silence that followed was so loaded she could almost hear it screaming. She squeezed her eyes shut, wanting to hit herself with the damn phone she was talking into.
Stupid Ally. She never could say the right thing.
“I…” Nate trailed off, as though he was looking for the right words. Maybe she should have done the same. “Ally, I can’t do this right now,” he finally said, his voice low and thick like it was full of molasses.
“Do what?”
“Talk to you about this. I’m so tired and my head’s messed up and I need to be alone right now.”
Her breath stuttered. “What does that mean?” she asked him. “I don’t understand. Surely we need to talk about Riley and what to tell her about us?”
“I’m sorry, Ally, but there is no us. I can’t think about us right now. I took my eye off the ball. I spent too much time chasing you that I didn’t even see my daughter was spinning off the rails again. I need to just concentrate on her for a while.”
She gasped at the impact of his words. If he’d slapped her it couldn’t have hurt any worse. Tears stung at her eyes, heating her skin as they began to roll down her cheeks.
“Okay,” she whispered through the tears. Her chest began to ache, as though there was a huge weight pushing down on it, making it hard to breathe. “Okay,” she repeated, more to herself than to him.
“Ah, Ally.” He let out another sigh. She waited for him to say something else, but it didn’t come. Just his soft breaths, so more measured than her own. Her hands shook as she held the phone against her wet cheek.
“I need to go,” she said, trying to hide the wobble in her voice. “It’s late here, too.” And neither of them had slept for almost twenty-four hours. It was a shock either of them could speak at all.