by Anna Adams
“Stop trying to forget who you are.”
She’d had enough. “Try to remember your grandson and put his happiness before yours.”
“How can I forget Evan? I couldn’t love him more, but you know how long I’ve dreaded the truth splashing all over the news. I can’t ignore the story, and you can bet no one else will. All our rivals will gladly spew pages and the longest on-air minutes I’ve had to endure about my daughter’s illicit affair with a long-lost lover and the son he abandoned.” He rose, rubbing his knees as they fired more angry gunshots.
This time his frailty didn’t endear him to Olivia. “You’re still ashamed?”
He stared at her, nodding at last. “I didn’t raise you to make a mistake like that, Olivia, and I’ve protected you from most of the consequences since the day I found out you were pregnant.”
“Consequences? Evan is the only consequence I care about and I’m not ashamed of him. You will not make a confession for me that makes you feel better in front of all your cronies and enemies.”
“Stay out of my way for a change and see if I don’t handle it right.”
“You’re betraying my wishes about Evan.” A key phrase their counselor had taught them. “Cancel it.”
“If I don’t?”
“I’ll take him away from here, away from you again. I’ve forgiven you every story you ever leaked about me, but I thought you understood about Evan. I thought you loved us both enough to let the past go.”
He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what she’d said. “I understand reality better than you do. Let me protect my grandson. You seriously don’t care if people find out the truth about his birth?”
She gritted her teeth. Time for a little havoc. “You aren’t welcome in his life or mine until you find a way to take that back.”
CHAPTER SIX
IN A CORNER of the dim hall near the nursery, Olivia turned her back to the wall. Control. Before she burst into that room, she had to get herself under control. She’d hidden here once before when she was barely in kindergarten herself. That morning, she’d panted just as hard as she did now.
Trying to sneak into breakfast before her dad noticed she was late, she’d overheard him warning his bodyguard du jour that someone had threatened to kidnap her. Her dad liked to pretend she didn’t understand that his fame and their wealth made their family a target. But she’d known since that long-ago morning that her name could attract danger. She’d never liked being afraid, had refused to live in fear until Evan was born. To keep him safe, she’d live any way at all.
And if she had to take Evan away from his grandfather to keep him from finding out her dad had ever felt shame for his birth she’d be glad to do that.
She loved her dad dearly, but his feelings felt like a betrayal. At the best of times, he was difficult. She felt as if she was locked in an almost constant battle for power.
And now, this… To find out he still believed she’d disgraced him. Ridiculous.
She pushed away from the wall and smoothed her hands over her rumpled slacks. Two steps across the hall and she was almost herself. At the nursery door she knocked, unwilling to interrupt Evan’s first private meal with his father. After a second, Evan opened the door, peering curiously around it.
“Mom?” He stepped back, not expecting to see her so soon. “Are you hungry? Did Grampa eat all your food?”
“No.” Her father had robbed her of more spiritual sustenance—her trust in him. She gazed at Zach.
She didn’t think he’d mind if she and Evan went to Bardill’s Ridge, but consulting anyone about what she did with her son felt odd. The concept of sharing decisions had seemed less difficult in theory.
“You didn’t have to knock,” he said.
She closed her hands on Evan’s shoulders. “I felt funny, barging in.”
What she’d really come to say, “I’m taking my son away from here,” refused to come out of her mouth. She had to speak up soon. Zach and Evan would notice, and time was short. Her father would no doubt carry on with his press conference.
Strangely, considering her father’s feelings about her, she didn’t want to expose the family’s dirty laundry to Zach. As if Zach would be surprised. Her father had already flown his true colors, and Evan mattered more than misplaced family pride.
She nudged her son. “Could you get your soccer pictures? The ones beside Grampa’s bed?”
Thank God for genetics. Evan laughed with joy at the opportunity to show off for his father. “I’ll be right back,” he said to Zach. He stopped a few feet away. “Don’t go anywhere.”
“Here to stay,” Zach assured him.
Evan shot out of the room. Olivia hurried after him to close the door. A frown creased Zach’s forehead as she turned back.
“What’s up?” Perched exactly as her father had predicted, with his knees around his ears, Zach didn’t look foolish. He looked vulnerable, like a man who’d do anything to build a loving relationship with his son. but foolish? No.
“My dad’s arranged a press conference to give out a story about you. I can’t stop him, but I don’t want Evan here for it.”
Zach clenched his hands. “Let’s go to Tennessee.”
“Thanks. I was going to ask if we could do that, but it might have taken me longer to be polite about intruding in your family’s hometown.”
“You thought I’d disagree? No way. My family will all want to meet Evan.” Zach uncoiled from the table. “The town is quiet and small. We always know when strangers show up.”
“That’s what you said just before you knocked out the bank robber.” She said it lightly, reluctant to let him see she was a little nervous about switching to his home ground.
A surprised smile curved his supple mouth. “You’re safe.” His glance roamed up her body and then down again, with a hint of possession that should have repelled her. She restrained a distinct urge to shiver as his smile deepened. “You’re not sporting a gun,” he said. “You have nothing to worry about.”
“I have Dad. The ultimate loose cannon.”
“He’d really parade Evan in front of a pack of reporters?”
She managed not to lift an eyebrow. He must have forgotten she was one of the pack. “Dad wants them to hear a suitable story.” She shook her head in frustration. “The impulse wedding idea he tried out on us, maybe. Whatever—I’m not waiting around to let Evan hear.”
“I still don’t understand. What’s the big deal to your father? This should be a good story. I’m grateful to find Evan. I hope he’ll be glad to know me.”
Subtlety wasn’t working. “He doesn’t want people to know how Evan was born.” Her dad’s embarrassment humiliated her. “People asked about his father, but I never answered, and finally they stopped asking. I’ve kept him away from anyone who ever wanted to talk about me or my work.” She continued uneasily. “I never talk about him.”
“What are you saying?”
“Dad doesn’t want Evan to be labeled.” Why should she try to protect her father? Even trying to explain his feelings dishonored hers and the life she’d tried to give Evan. Her face burned.
“James doesn’t want anyone to know we weren’t married?”
“I should thank you for putting it so delicately.” She managed a nod. “So I’m getting Evan out of here before he finds out the strongest male influence in his life is spouting lies that make him suitable for the family.”
Fury tightened Zach’s features. He seemed to be searching for something to hit before he calmed down. “None of this was Evan’s fault.”
“No, it wasn’t.” She took a deep breath and jumped off the deep end, making her own intentions clear. She couldn’t send her son away alone with him already. “I’m willing to take Evan to Tennessee, but I am coming with him—and you.” He didn’t even blink, but she suddenly felt anxious about meeting his family when he hadn’t wanted her to know them before. “I have to call Evan’s school, and I might have to pick up books for him s
o he can keep up with his class. We both need to pack.”
“You want to leave now?”
“I want out of this house as quickly as possible.” She made no apology for her urgency. That her father cared what anyone thought of the circumstances of her son’s birth made her sick.
“I’ll make the arrangements this time,” Zach said. “For this afternoon?”
“Yes.” In her mind she was already laying out Evan’s clothes at home. “My car should be in the garage.”
“Doesn’t he have things here?”
“I’m leaving them.”
Zach nodded, looking up as Evan skipped through the nursery door. The tension seemed to escape him. He held out his photos to Zach, slipping his free hand shyly behind his own back as he danced from foot to foot.
“Look how strong you are,” Zach said. “You’re the goalie?”
Evan nodded, his gaze solemn. “I like soccer.”
“Do you think you could teach me?” Zach asked.
Evan straightened, anticipation almost lifting him off his feet. He was enough of a Kendall to like being the head guy. “Sure,” he said. “I have soccer balls at home.” He grabbed Olivia’s hand. “We could take my dad to the park.”
“We could do that,” Zach said. “Or you and your mom could come to Tennessee with me for a visit. I have a big yard.”
Evan spun around to look up at Olivia, who forced herself to smile. “Would you like to visit Tennessee?” She almost asked if he wanted to meet Zach’s family, but stopped when she remembered Lily. They still had to decide how to tell Evan about his sister.
“Sure, I want to go. Can we take Grampa’s airplane?”
“That’s a great idea,” Olivia said. The company jet would be the quickest, most private way out of town. Olivia hugged her son close while Zach eyed her doubtfully over Evan’s head. But he didn’t argue. Thank God for a man who didn’t argue. “I’ll call from my car,” she said. “Let’s go.”
AS SOON AS Olivia parked in their building’s garage, Evan jumped out of the car and skipped toward the elevator.
Zach leaned down, speaking quietly enough to defeat the building’s echo. “I need to warn Helene,” he said. “I want her to hear about Evan from me, not your father.”
Olivia nodded. “We’ll give you some privacy. I’ll ask Evan to help me pack.”
“C’mon, Mom, Dad!” Evan was holding the doors for them.
Olivia hurried. “There’s only one elevator down here from the lobby. I always picture a crowd piling up.”
Zach laughed, taking one step for each of her two. Evan punched the button for the lobby floor as soon as Zach got inside behind her. The car quickly rose and then jerked to a halt.
“We have to switch elevators here,” Evan said.
A doorman guarded the lobby. He nodded, showing no curiosity as they strolled past.
“I always drive.” Evan dashed inside the next elevator car. When they caught up, he jabbed the metal disk embossed with the number twenty-three and the doors slid shut. They rose again at rapid speed, stopped more smoothly and exited into a parquet-floored hallway. James Kendall had been right, Zach noted as the oriental runner muffled his footsteps. This was no apartment building he’d ever seen.
At the far end of the hall, Olivia fished keys from her purse and unlocked the door. Evan sped through, but turned back, just managing to clear the edge of an inlaid cabinet.
“Dad, come see my room. It’s cool!”
Laughing, Zach followed his son who powered through a vast living room that was homelike rather than the monument to wealth Olivia had lived in with her father. Zach glimpsed fat couches and magazine-strewn tables.
“Come on, Dad!”
“Wait.” Olivia spoke softly as she bolted the front door. “The phone’s in here. You can take it to the terrace if you want.” Her smile looked a little shaky at the corners. “I don’t mean to push you, but we should move. The jet’s waiting for us.”
“I want to make sure Helene understands she needs to protect Lily, too.”
Olivia frowned. “I didn’t think about that. I’m sorry.”
He shook his head, not wanting to add to the pressure on her. Dealing with an ex-wife was all new, another complication she’d added to her life, so that he and Evan could be together. “I’ll try to keep this as painless as possible for you,” he said. “Let me take a quick look at Evan’s room, and then I’ll call.”
“You’ll probably have to remind him we’re on a deadline,” Olivia said.
“Okay.” Functioning as part of a two-parent team felt atypical. He and Helene had divorced when Lily was two, and they’d struggled continually since.
“Which room?” he asked. “I lost track of him.” Because he’d been so intent on Olivia.
“Second on the right.”
“I’ll help him pack.”
“I’d better do it. I know what he’ll need.”
“I’ll start, and you can add the stuff I leave out.” He’d like to make this escape easier for her, but her resources were the ones taking them out of Kendall’s reach. Olivia could do everything she needed for herself.
At the bedroom door, Zach caught Evan just as he tripped over the man-size dragon he’d been hauling across the rug. “This is Burt,” Evan said. “Grampa gave him to me. I sleep on him sometimes.”
Big, green and threadbare at forepaw and sagging belly, Burt had been loved hard. “He looks comfy.” Zach helped Evan carry the toy back to the bed on which he’d already laid out his soccer ball and shin guards and a red-and-white-striped shirt.
“Here’s my soccer stuff. You really don’t know how to play?”
Gazing at his son’s small, upturned face, Zach felt an urge to smooth Evan’s unruly blond hair back from his forehead. He held back, trying to make himself feel that this child was his, that Evan would be part of his life from now on. It didn’t seem possible yet.
“We didn’t play soccer in school when I was your age.”
Evan frowned as if his newfound father might be a little on the crazy side. He tugged Zach toward the closet. “It won’t be hard to teach you,” he said.
Zach cleared thick emotion from his throat, grateful Evan didn’t seem to share his grown-up responses to their situation. “Thanks,” he choked out and then tried again. “Do you have a suitcase?”
Evan tugged him inside a closet as large as Zach’s kitchen. “I left my dinosaur bag at Grampa’s. That’s the only one I like.”
“Maybe we could choose another one together.” But where to start? Enough clothing for three or four kids surrounded them on hangers and in drawers. Shoes for a classroom full of children waited neatly in racks at just the right height for Evan to reach. But not a suitcase in sight.
“Mom’ll pack for me. Look at my hockey stick.” Evan produced it from a corner, along with a scratched helmet. He pointed to a line of slightly crooked scrapes in the paint. “See? Tanya Randall tried to bite me, but she got my helmet instead.”
“Lucky for you.” Zach grinned.
“Yeah, she’s pretty strong, but I can run faster.”
Zach swallowed another smile. Smart kid. “She put you to the test, huh? You like sports a lot?”
Evan nodded his head up and down. “Me and Tanya are on a lot of the same teams.” He peered at Zach through one considering eye. “Do you know how to play anything?”
How often did a guy’s son ask him if he was a real man? “I’m pretty good at baseball, and I was a running back on the football team in college.” He shared a look of commiseration with his boy. “I know a girl like your friend, Tanya.” His cousin Sophie threw harder than the strongest boys they’d ever played with. “So I can run fast, too.” Evan still looked unimpressed. Zach got desperate. He pulled out his trump card, the one activity that had fascinated him for most of his life. “I know how to fly airplanes.”
Evan let his mouth drop open, staring as if he didn’t dare believe. “Really? All by yourself? Could you fly
us to Tennessee?”
He’d kept current. Even if the Navy didn’t trust him with their equipment anymore and he felt sick when he got near an airport, he’d forced himself into the air to keep his licenses up to date. “I could, but your mom’s pilot might not want to share.”
“He probably wouldn’t.” Olivia sounded surprised.
As Zach turned, her gaze asked if he’d forgotten his little problem with flying.
He smiled, feeling foolish.
Olivia held out her hand. “Evan, you and I have to pack, and Zach wants to use the phone.”
“Ours, though?” Evan tightened his grip and begged with his eyes. Zach felt guilty for their missing years. “You’re not going out to the car or somewhere to use a different phone?”
“He’ll be right here when we’re ready.” Olivia reassured him, but his attachment obviously left her shaken.
Her pale skin and wary gaze troubled Zach. She must have known what she was asking for, but maybe she hadn’t fully anticipated how it felt to have your child want someone else.
He’d always envied parents who managed to stay together. If he’d come back from that mission, would they have married? He’d certainly have asked her. He’d asked Helene.
How had he felt about Olivia? Had she loved him? Would they still have loved each other after an unexpected child and her father’s disapproval? She would have tried to keep a marriage going. It might have been the same kind of battle he’d fought with Helene, but they’d both have been sincere about staying together. He knew, because she was so determined to be fair about giving him time with Evan now.
He resisted an urge to wrap his arms around her as he passed her on his way to the living room. Just as well, since she inched away from him. He reminded himself not to get carried away. She’d come to him for Evan’s sake, not for his.
As he dialed Helene’s number, Zach leaned back, listening to the comforting sounds of Olivia and Evan talking together as they packed. A stranger answered Helene’s phone, a servant he hadn’t met yet. He asked for his ex-wife.