Shanna winced. Roman had been a gentle monk, dedicated to healing the poor. It was appalling to think of him thrust into the midst of such evil. "What happened to Roman?"
"Casimir was fascinated with him. He wanted to wrench every bit of goodness out of Roman, and turn him into pure evil. He… he did cruel things to Roman. Gave him terrible choices." Connor shook his head in disgust. "One time, Casimir captured two children and threatened to kill them both. He said Roman could save one of them if he would only kill the other one himself."
"Oh God." A wave of nausea swept through Shanna. No wonder Roman thought God had abandoned him.
"When Roman refused to partake in such perversity, Casimir flew into a rage. He and his pack of devils descended on Roman's monastery and murdered all the monks. Then they destroyed the buildings."
"Oh, no! All the monks? Even Roman's adopted father?" Shanna's heart ached at the thought.
"Aye. Ye ken, it wasna Roman's fault, but he still felt responsible."
No wonder Roman suffered so much from self-loathing. It wasn't his fault, but she could see why he would feel guilty. Karen's death hadn't been her fault, but she still blamed herself. "The ruined monastery—that's the painting on the fifth floor, isn't it?"
"Aye. Roman keeps it there to remind himself—"
"You mean torture himself." Shanna's eyes misted with tears. For how many centuries did he intend to whip himself over this?
"Aye." Connor nodded sadly. "It was the sight of the monastery and his dead brothers that instilled in Roman a purpose for his new and awful existence. He made a vow then to destroy Casimir and his evil followers. But he knew he couldna do it alone. So he sneaked away, traveling to the west, seeking out battlefields where the wounded lay dying in the dark. In 1513 he found Jean-Luc at the Battle of the Spurs in France and Angus at Flodden Field in Scotland. He transformed them, and they became his first allies."
"When did they find you?"
"At the battle of Solway Moss." Connor sighed. "There was never peace for long in my bonnie Scotland. It made a prime hunting ground for dying warriors. I had crawled under a tree to die.
Roman found me and asked if I was willing to fight again for a noble cause. I was in so much pain, I doona remember much. I must have said yes, for Roman transformed me that night."
Shanna swallowed hard. "Do you resent what happened to you?"
Connor looked surprised. "Nay, lass. I was dying. Roman gave me a reason to exist. Angus was there, too. He changed over Ian. By 1710, Roman had acquired a large army of vampires. Angus was his general. I was a captain." Connor smiled proudly.
"And then you marched on Casimir?"
"Aye, it was a bloody war and raged on for three nights. Those who were wounded and too weak to move would fry when the sun rose. On the third night, shortly before sunrise, Casimir fell. His followers fled."
"And Petrovsky was one of them?"
"Aye. But we'll be getting him soon. Doona worry about that." Connor stood and stretched. "I'd best get to my rounds."
"I suppose Roman is up by now."
Connor grinned. "Aye. I'm sure he is." He strode from the kitchen, his red and green kilt swinging about his knees.
Shanna heaved a big sigh. So Roman had told the truth about his crimes. He had killed and transformed mortals into vampires. But he had transformed those who were already dying, and his purpose had been a noble one. He defeated Casimir, the evil vampire who enjoyed torturing innocent people.
It was a violent past Roman had, but it was one that she could accept. In spite of Casimir's attempts to vilify him, Roman had remained a good man. He'd always sought to protect the innocent and save mortals. Yet he was so filled with remorse, he believed God had abandoned him. She needed to get through to him somehow and ease his pain. Their personal relationship might be doomed, but she still cared about Roman, and she couldn't stand for him to suffer anymore. She wandered into the hall and headed for the stairs.
"Oh, Shanna!" Maggie stood at the opening to the parlor.
The double doors were open, and Shanna could see the harem inside. Aw, jeez. She really didn't want to see these women.
"Shanna, come on." Maggie grabbed her by the arm and tugged her toward the parlor. "Look, everybody! It's Shanna."
The harem girls all gave her glowing smiles.
What the hell were they up to? Shanna didn't trust their newfound friendliness one bit.
Vanda came forward with an apologetic smile. "I'm so sorry I was rude to you." She touched a lock of Shanna's hair. "This color suits you."
"Thank you." Shanna took a step back.
"Don't go." Maggie grabbed her arm. "Come in and join us."
"Yes," Vanda agreed. "We'd like to welcome you to the harem."
Shanna gasped. "Excuse me? I'm not joining your harem."
"But you and Roman—you are lovers now, non?" Simone curled up in the corner of the couch.
"I–I really don't think it's any of your business." How on earth did they know what had happened?
"Don't be so touchy," Vanda said. "We all like Roman."
"Oh." Simone sipped from a wineglass. "I have come all ze way from Paris to be wiz him."
Anger sizzled in Shanna. Anger at Roman and these ladies, but mostly anger at herself. She shouldn't have gotten so involved with him while he still had all these women on the side. "What happens between Roman and myself is private."
Maggie shook her head. "It's very hard to be private amongst vampires. I overheard Roman when he asked to make love to you."
"What?" Shanna's heart lurched toward her throat.
"Maggie's very good at picking up thoughts," Vanda explained. "When she heard Roman, she alerted the rest of us, and we all asked Roman to let us join in on the fun."
"What? " Sparks of fire shot off in Shanna's head.
"Relax." Darcy gave her a worried look. "He didn't let them in."
"He was so h-rude!" Simone huffed.
"It was awful." Maggie crossed her arms, frowning. "We've waited so long for Roman to take an interest in sex again. And then, when he finally does, he wouldn't let us play."
"It was terrible." Vanda sighed. "We're his harem. We have a right to share vampire sex with him, but he blocked us out."
Shanna stared at them, agape, with her heart pounding in her chest.
"I do declare," the Southern belle said, "I have never felt so rejected in all my life."
"You—" Shanna struggled to breathe. "All of you tried to join us?"
Vanda shrugged. "Once someone initiates vampire sex, anyone can join in."
"That's how it's supposed to be," Maggie agreed. "We asked twice to participate, but Roman kept blocking us out."
"He even fussed at us." Simone pouted on the couch.
"There was so much arguing and mental shouting going on," Maggie continued, "that even the
Highlanders got into the fight and told us to leave Roman alone."
Shanna groaned inwardly. No wonder the Scotsmen had been smiling at her. Did everyone in the house know what she and Roman had been doing? Her face heated up.
"You will have sex again tonight, non?" Simone asked.
"That's why we want you to join the harem," Maggie said with a friendly smile.
"Yes." Vanda smiled, too. "Then, Roman can make love to all of us."
"No, no." Shanna shook her head and backed away. "Never!" She ran before the harem could see any tears on her face. Damn! Now she knew why Roman had disappeared twice last night. He'd put her on hold in order to answer the deluge of mental calls from his harem. The whole time he'd been making psychic love to her, he'd been forced to expend mental energy to block the harem out. It was like they were making love with a bunch of peeping Toms trying to see in the window.
She ran up the stairs to the first floor. Shock turned to horror, then to raw pain. How could she have gotten herself into such a horrid mess?
By the time she reached the second floor, tears were streaming down her face. How could sh
e have been so stupid? She should have never let Roman into her head. Or into her bed. And certainly not into her heart. When she reached the third floor, the pain morphed into anger. That damned harem!
And damned Roman. How dare he keep a harem while claiming to care about her? On the fourth floor, she headed to her room, then stopped. The anger was burning at full blaze, too hot to be controlled. She stormed up to the fifth floor.
The guard there gave her a knowing smile.
She wanted to slap that smile off his face. She gritted her teeth. "I'd like to see Roman."
"Aye, lass." The Highlander opened Roman's office door.
She strode inside and shut the door. Roman might have survived the Great Vampire War of 1710, but he was about to face an even worse terror.
A mortal female in full rage.
CHAPTER 20
Roman lay in bed thinking, and foremost in his thoughts was Shanna. Last night had been wonderful, but at the same time aggravating. He'd had to expend too much energy blocking out those women downstairs. God's blood, he hated being stuck with them. He didn't even know all their names. He'd never spent any real time with them. During vampire sex, he'd simply imagined making love to a woman's body. It might have felt good to the harem ladies, but the body he imagined might as well have belonged to VANNA. It wasn't real. It wasn't any of them.
It wasn't even Shanna. That, too, had annoyed him. He had imagined Shanna in his mind, but he knew it wasn't really her. He didn't know what she looked like naked, and now his imagination wasn't enough. He wanted the real thing. And he believed she did, too. Last night she had complained about not being able to touch him or hold him.
He had to complete that formula he was working on. If he could stay awake during the day, he could protect Shanna around the clock. He could also be alone with her at a time when other vampires couldn't interfere. And if he could convince Shanna to live with him, then his ability to be awake during the day would allow her to maintain a more normal lifestyle.
He jumped out of bed and took a hot shower. He wanted to see her tonight, but he also needed to go to Romatech. The rest of the week would be filled with the conference. He, Angus, and Jean-Luc needed a plan of action for dealing with the Malcontents, particularly now that they knew Petrovsky was their leader. And getting rid of Petrovsky would not only make the world safer for law-abiding, modern Vamps, but safer for Shanna.
Roman smiled to himself. Even with a vampire war imminent, he couldn't keep his mind off her. She was so different. So raw and honest with her emotions. While in her mind, he'd tried to detect her feelings for him. She was adjusting fairly well to the reality of his being a vampire, mostly because she had such a kind, compassionate heart. When he called her sweetness, he meant it. She had a true, sweet nature that he loved.
He chuckled as he toweled himself dry. She could also be fearless and feisty when upset. He loved that about her, too. He hoped with all his heart that she could fall in love with him. That would be perfect, since he was already in love with her.
He'd realized it the moment he saw her at the ball, hot pink in a sea of black and white. She was life, she was color, she was his true love. Somehow, he sensed that if she could love him and accept him, even with his soul blackened with sin, then all was not lost. If there was something remotely lovable about him, he could hope for forgiveness. He'd wanted to tell her last night that he loved her, but had refrained. He needed to be with her in person to make such a confession.
He leaned over to tug on some boxer shorts. Black dots circled his head. Damn, he was hungry. He should have eaten before showering, but thoughts about Shanna had distracted him. Wearing only his underwear, he padded into his office and retrieved a bottle of blood from the mini-fridge. God's blood, he was starving so much, he was ready to drink it cold.
He heard the office door shut and glanced back. Shanna. Smiling, he unscrewed the top from his bottle. "Good evening."
No answer.
He glanced back again. She was stalking toward him, her cheeks glistening with tears, her eyes swollen, red, and… furious. "What's wrong, darling?"
"Everything!" She was breathing heavily, and rage was practically seething from her pores. "I'm not putting up with this anymore."
"Okay." He put the bottle down. "It appears I did something wrong, though I'm not sure what."
"Everything is wrong! It's wrong for you to have a harem. It's sick that you left me in bed on hold while you talked to them. And it's really disgusting that they wanted to join us in some kind of mental orgy!"
He winced. "I wouldn't have allowed that. What we had together was totally private."
"It was not! They knew we were making love. And they kept banging on the door wanting in."
He groaned inwardly. Those damned women. "I gather you've been talking to the other women again."
"Your other women. Your harem." Her eyes narrowed with seething anger. "Do you know they invited me to join them?"
God's blood.
"And do you know why? They want me in the harem so they can join us next time in bed! Like one giant psychic love fest. Ooh, talk about your multiple orgasms. I can't wait!"
"You're being sarcastic, right?"
"Aaargh!" She raised clenched fists in the air.
He gritted his teeth. "Look, Shanna, I expended a huge amount of energy to keep what happened between us private." And all that spent energy had left him starving.
"It wasn't private! Even the Highlanders knew what we were doing. You knew that everyone knew, but you still made love to me."
He stepped toward her, his anger spiking. "No one heard what happened between us. It was private. Only I heard you moan and cry out. Only I felt your body shuddering when—"
"Stop it. I shouldn't have done it. Not when you have a harem wanting to join us."
Roman balled his fists, fighting for control, but it was damned hard when he was starving. "There is nothing I can do about them. They wouldn't know how to survive on their own."
"You're kidding me! How many centuries old do they need to be before they can grow up?"
"They were raised in times when women weren't taught any job skills. They're helpless, and I'm responsible for them."
"Do you really want them?"
"No! I inherited them when I became coven master in 1950.I can't even remember all their names. I've spent all my time building Romatech and working in my lab."
"Well, if you don't want them, pass them on to someone else. There must be plenty of lonely vampire men around just dying for a good, dead woman to keep them company."
Roman's anger started to sizzle again. "I happen to be one of those dead people, too."
She crossed her arms over her chest. "You and I are… different. I don't think this is going to work out."
"I thought we did very well last night." God's blood, she wasn't going to leave him. He wouldn't let her. And they were alike. She understood him like no one else.
"I can't—I won't make love to you again when there's a bunch of women trying to join us. I won't stand for it."
Anger sliced into him fresh and raw. "You can't convince me you didn't enjoy it. I know you did. I was in your head."
"That was last night. Now all I can feel is embarrassment."
Roman swallowed hard. "Are you ashamed of what you did? Are you ashamed of me?"
"No! I'm angry that those women have a claim to you, that they think they have every right to join us in the bedroom."
"I won't let them! They don't matter, Shanna. I'll block them out."
"You shouldn't have to block them out, because they shouldn't be here at all! Don't you get it? I refuse to share you with them. They have to go!"
Roman's breath caught in his throat. God's blood, that was the real problem. Not that she was ashamed or didn't care. She did care. She did want him. She wanted him all to herself.
She stepped back, her eyes wide. "I… I shouldn't have said that."
"But it's true."
"
No." She backed toward his desk. "I… I don't have any claim to you. And I shouldn't expect you to totally change your lifestyle for me. I mean, this relationship probably can't work anyway."
"Yes, it can." He strode toward her. "You want me. You want all my love, all my passion just for you."
She retreated another step and bumped into the velvet chaise. "I should be going."
"You don't want to share me, do you, Shanna? You want me all to yourself."
Her eyes flashed. "Well, I don't always get what I want, do I?"
He grabbed her by the shoulders. "This time, you will."
He lifted her and set her bottom on the high curved end of the red velvet chaise.
"What—?"
He gave her a little push, and she fell back.
"What are you doing?" She struggled to sit up and managed to prop herself on her elbows. Her hips were still elevated on the higher end of the chaise.
He pulled off her white Nikes and dropped them on the floor. "Just you and me, Shanna. No one will know what we're doing."
"But—"
"Complete privacy." He unzipped her pants and dragged them down her legs. "Just like you
wanted."
"Wait a minute! This is different. This is… real."
"You're damned right it is. And I'm ready for it." He noted her red lace panties. God's blood. Real sex.
"We have to think about this."
"Think fast." He took a hold of the red lace. "Cause these are coming off."
She looked at him, her eyes wide, her chest heaving with quick breaths. "You—your eyes are red. They're glowing."
"It means I'm ready to make love."
She gulped. Her gaze drifted down to his bare chest. "It would be an important step forward."
"I know." He rubbed the pad of his thumb over the lace. Actual, physical sex with a mortal. "If you tell me to stop, I will. I've never wanted to hurt you, Shanna."
She collapsed back. "Oh God." She covered her face.
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