by Alexis Anne
Maybe it was.
He nodded and kissed my lips. “I’m sorry. Do you want me to stop? I knew bringing you out here was a risk.”
I shook my head. I didn’t want him to stop. I didn’t know what I wanted, but I knew I wanted his kisses. I returned them and ran my hands over his shoulders, down his arms, and to his buckle. “I would like to keep us on track. We may be friends, but we’re also sex friends.”
He laughed, deep in his chest, the sound warm and inviting, as I slid his belt free and unbuttoned his pants. “You were so kind as to give me a present earlier. Maybe I should return the favor?”
“Out here?” He didn’t stop me from sliding his zipper down and hooking my thumbs in his waistband.
“Are you expecting any company out this way?”
He shook his head and smiled.
“Then yes. Out here.” I slid his pants down and knelt on the grass growing inside the walls of the old foundation. I wrapped my hand around the base of his large cock and ran my thumb up his length. I’d done my fair share of licking and playing with his dick during sex, but I hadn’t yet taken my time and focused exclusively on only pleasuring Adam.
As confident as I usually was in the bedroom, this was the one area I rarely got to practice, and for once, I felt my nerves tick up. Adam had set the bar on oral sex very, very high… I needed to step up my game. Big time.
“You don’t have to do this…it wasn’t my idea.”
I looked up and found Adam watching me with the strangest expression on his face. “It’s just…”
“Just what?”
I ran my hand up and down his length feeling ridiculous. “Um… well, I actually don’t do this very often. I was going over a plan of action in my head before I got started.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “You sucked my dick yesterday.”
I rolled my eyes. “I sucked it, yes. But I didn’t give you a blow job. That is entirely different.”
“Not really.”
“Do you want me to suck you off or not?” I asked, running my tongue around his head.
He shuddered. “Oh I want your mouth wrapped around me, trust me. I just wasn’t sure what that look was in your eyes.”
I shrugged and ran my hand up and down a few more times. “I’m a selfish lover. I take far more often than I give. I was just taking a moment to make sure I remembered what I was doing.” And then before he could say anything else, I shut him up by wrapping my lips around his cock, swirling my tongue and taking him in deep.
Adam groaned and stopped talking. He did however, run his fingertips across my scalp and through my hair. Lightly, not forcefully. He didn’t grab my head and hold me in place the way some guys did. He let me do all the work and simply enjoyed what I was giving him: a good time out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by trees and blue skies.
I realized there were quite a few things I knew about Adam. He liked it when his balls were cupped lightly—not firmly—and he really, really liked it when I massaged the space between his balls and dick. So as his breathing quickened and his fingers moved from my hair to my shoulders, I massaged the spot with increasing pressure.
His cock was large and firm, but also soft and smooth as my lips and tongue moved against it. The wind blew my hair and Adam brushed it out of my face, pulling it around his hand to keep it out of the way. I liked hearing his grunts of pleasure and the twitch of his muscles as he started to lose control. I got more pleasure out of driving Adam wild than I ever got out of pleasing a man before. In the past it had either been a risky bit of fun, or a dirty means to an end. Both were fun, but it was something I did because it added to the moment.
I was doing this for an entirely different reason. Making Adam lose control was incredibly pleasurable to me. I got an insane and inflated sense of pride out of watching him find satsifaction because of me.
I didn’t understand it and I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
He grunted deep in his chest and his fingers tightened around my hair that was still wrapped around his hand, the added pressure sent a prickle across my scalp. I sucked harder, taking him deeper until his cock was gliding against the soft spot near the back of my throat. I felt the pressure all the way down to my sex each time the tip of his cock made contact, and I moaned with my own pleasure.
“Fuck,” Adam swore. “Do that again…”
I moaned again and Adam gasped, his other hand tightening on my shoulder and his thighs shaking, and then, as his cock slid against my tongue and the back of my throat, I felt the warm spray of his climax. He grunted and groaned, fingers flexing and legs jerking, until he was done.
When he relaxed and let out a deep sigh, I sucked lightly up his length, kissed the glistening tip of his cock, and then met his eyes as I swallowed.
“Oh shit that’s hot,” he groaned.
I grinned. Mission accomplished. I may not be as practiced as some, but I sure as hell knew what I was doing.
Chapter 5
Thursday night
“So,” Adam had on his serious face as he filled both our glasses from the pitcher of beer. “Tell me more about your love of cars.”
I groaned. “I should’ve just pretended I didn’t know anything.”
“No, this is awesome. I had no idea I could talk to you about this.”
I rolled my eyes. “See, this is the problem. I like to drive them, not talk about them. If you go too far, I’m just going to fall asleep. You’ll go from my fun and mysterious fuck buddy to boring engine nerd. Don’t be the boring engine nerd. You’re too much fun to have sex with and I’m not ready to be done with you yet.”
He put his hand to his chest and winced like he was hurt. “You sure know how to kill a guy.”
I drank my beer and looked out over the river. We were eating dinner at the fish camp a few miles down the road from the plantations we’d visited over the afternoon. Oysters and fish sandwiches were on their way and, in the meantime, we were splitting drinks and an appetizer of shrimp and hushpuppies.
“You know what’s interesting? I almost never drive. Part of the reason I loved this job at CBU was because it would let me walk to work. I have a car, but I almost never use it.”
“If you like to drive fast cars why don’t you own one?”
I shrugged my shoulders wondering the same thing. “I’m guessing it has something to do with some deep-seated fucked-up childhood shit. I’m probably projecting. If I spend money on a fast car and drive it the way it was designed to be driven then I will somehow magically become my father.”
“You should let yourself buy a fast car. That’s my humble opinion.”
I laughed and took another sip. “You going to get me a deal on an AMG? How good is the employee discount anyway?”
He looked down at the beer in his hands. “I do get a pretty nice discount, but that car still cost a pretty penny.”
Should I ask the question I really wanted to ask? I didn’t think I could avoid it. My curiosity was driving me absolutely insane. “How did you afford that car?”
He sighed. “You really want to know? It will change things. You’ll know more about me and,” he gasped, putting his hands to his mouth in mock horror, “you might actually become my friend.”
I sat forward, putting my elbows on the table as I leaned in. “I’ve got a secret… I have accepted the fact we’re going to be friends. As much as I avoid this whole relationship-building crap normal people do, you seem like a nice guy and I could use some nice people in my life.”
Adam grinned and leaned forward too, meeting my gaze. “Well then, friend, on top of my very generous salary from Mercedes, I happen to have a ridiculous trust fund sitting in a bank account somewhere.”
“Somewhere?” I coughed. Did he not know where his money was?
He shrugged and looked a little sheepish. “I live off of my salary except for the AMG. I kind of bought it to piss off my parents when we had a fight last year.”
“That’s an expensive way to piss off you
r parents,” I murmured, searching his face for some sign of this rich, spoiled brat who bought expensive cars as a kiss-off.
“Indeed. It worked though. I made my point.” He was looking at his beer, not me, obviously ashamed.
“I’d be pissed if my kid bought a car that expensive but kept it in a garage because he was only home a few weeks a year to drive it. Seems like a shame.”
“That was exactly why I bought it. I don’t think I could have made my point any clearer.”
“What was the fight about?” Adam always spoke about his parents with respect. This was the first sign he had any issues with them.
“My trust fund. It originally came from my grandfather. Old family money that gets passed down generation to generation. I always knew I’d inherit part of the money and eventually, one day, the plantation. I’ve accepted my legacy,” he frowned and took a sip of beer. “On top of that, I’m an owner in my parent’s company. Between my salary and my share of the profits from Green Hills, I have more money than I know what to do with.”
I stared at the top of Adam’s head. He still wasn’t looking up at me and he seemed to have hit a stumbling block in his explanation.
“So what’s the problem?” I prompted. “Too much money?”
He shook his head and finally looked up. His face looked so different. Regret and unhappiness looked all wrong on Adam.
“I’ve always been happy to leave all that money sitting there for a day when I knew what to do with it—but my parents started giving me a hard time.”
“About having money?” I was attempting to make him laugh, but it wasn’t working. Adam was really upset.
“They think I’m not happy. They said a man approaching thirty should be out having more fun. Dating, buying stupid things for the hell of it—shit like that.”
Now I was really confused. “You had a fight with your parents because they wanted you to spend your money and have fun? I’m not really following you…”
He caught my eye and crooked an eyebrow. “Says the mysterious woman who learned to drive in a Ferrari.”
I blushed from head to toe but stayed silent, entirely too embarrassed to say anything.
He touched my hand lightly. “Hey, I didn’t mean to drag you into this. I… hell,” he swore some more under his breath and ran his long fingers through his hair, letting out a long breath. “For someone who clearly comes from some sort of money, you don’t live like it. You’re kind, generous, your apartment doesn’t even have a football television in it. I just figured maybe we had more in common—”
“We do. You’re right.” I cut him off.
He locked his eyes back on mine. There was a hunger in them this time. Something ravenous that came out every time I offered up a morsel of information. “I do know what it’s like to have money and I don’t like to live that way. I can honestly say I understand your desire to live simply.”
I held his gaze and felt all those walls I kept around me start to crumble. Keeping Adam out was impossible.
He licked his lower lip and sighed, taking my hand back. “What was it I said that night at the bar? Kindred spirits?” I nodded and my heart thumped against the walls of my chest. “I think we were destined to be friends, Elizabeth.”
I was pretty sure too. “You always call me Elizabeth or Filler. You can call me Liz, you know?”
He shook his head and lowered his eyes. “No. I thought about it. I tossed it around in my head, but no. I don’t think you’ll ever be Liz to me.”
It was either getting hotter out, or I was. Suddenly my skin felt like it was on fire and the blood in my veins was pumping so hard I could feel each beat. “Why?”
He shook his head, “I don’t know. You just aren’t.”
Never in my life had I ever felt so much all at once. There was energy coursing between us and my entire body craved more of Adam. I wanted to make him laugh and lose control but I also liked how he made me feel. I liked that I wasn’t Liz with him. I was someone else. Someone new.
“So tell me about the fight,” I whispered.
He nodded, as if he could read my thoughts, and continued his story. “I told them spending money for the sake of spending money was the stupidest thing they ever asked me to do,” he laughed and wrapped his other hand around mine. My hand was inside both of his and for all intents and purposes, it felt like the most intimate thing I’d ever experienced in my life. “They told me wasting my youth was a mistake. I just got so mad…I can’t explain it. I just…hated that they didn’t seem to understand me. The next thing I knew I was driving home in a new car.”
“Dumped a bunch of money into something you’d barely use. The very definition of wastefulness.”
He hung his head. “I love the car, really I do. She’s amazing. But it was a dumb move. I regret it almost every day.”
And that was what drew me to Adam—his genuine heart. I squeezed his hand. “Trust me when I say this, there are far worse things to spend your money on and you shouldn’t waste time on regret over a single act of defiance.”
He smiled and squeezed my hand back. “I hate that I believe the conviction in your voice right now. I don’t know who’s done what to you, but it makes me mad to hear that sadness.”
I suddenly wished I could go back and reintroduce myself to Adam with my real name, start over fresh without any secrets between us. I wanted to tell him everything, even the crazy things. I wondered if he’d always doubt me because of the lies I told him in the beginning. “There’s a lot about me you don’t know.”
“Only because you won’t tell me.”
“You do understand that once I tell you these things…there’s no going back. How you’re looking at me right now, this will all change. I won’t ever be the same person to you. Don’t you want to keep things simple? Just enjoy this time we have together?”
“Did you murder someone?”
My eyebrows shot up. “Um, no.”
Adam shrugged, “Then I highly doubt you will ever tell me anything that will change how I feel about you.”
“And how do you feel about me?”
He looked me directly in the eye and spoke with absolute conviction. “Like I finally found someone who understands me.”
Not love. Not need. Understanding.
There was no pressure here and no obligations. Simply a declaration of acceptance. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard. It made me want to tell him everything.
“I’ve had a crazy life. Learning to drive in a sports car is just kind of icing on the cake.” I paused, wondering where to start. “Beginning at the beginning isn’t even worth it. And I’ve never really done this before.”
Adam released my hand and sat back lazily in his chair, grabbing his drink. I had a feeling he was trying to make me believe this wasn’t a big deal. “Not even with Allison?”
I took a deep breath and blew it up into my hair, sending it flying. “No. She met me before things changed and, well… she kind of found out about my parents the hard way. It was a traumatizing enough experience that I’ve never done it again.”
“Changed?” Adam was trying very hard to look casual, but the hunger in his eyes was as obvious as ever.
I nodded and swallowed, rubbing my face and fidgeting in my chair. Mercifully dinner arrived and put me temporarily out of my misery. “Maybe we should eat first.” Instead of attempting to fill Adam in on every detail all at once, I picked and chose as we ate, giving myself time to acclimate to each new thing I shared.
“Filler isn’t my real last name.”
Adam stopped mid-chew and raised his eyebrows. “Ok…”
“I changed it just before I graduated from college to my grandmother’s maiden name. My real last name is Lawrence.”
He chewed slowly, looking like I’d just knocked the wind out of him.
“I told you there was a lot…”
“Keep going,” he replied with his fork, and stuck another bite in his mouth.
“My name
is Elizabeth Lawrence,” I repeated.
He nodded and chewed, waiting for me to keep going, except that was it. I needed him to understand my name before I could explain anything else.
And then it hit him. His eyes widened and he swallowed the bite of fish in his mouth. “The Elizabeth Lawrence. As in the daughter of Cybil Hope the reality star and Roger Lawrence the American hero.”
I nodded and waited.
“As in the granddaughter of Vivian Hope, The Vivian Hope. The Oscar winning, crazy famous, super talented, Vivian Hope.”
I nodded again. It was weird how people always added ‘the’ to our names, as if no one else on the planet were allowed to have it.
Adam set his fork down and rubbed his chin, sitting back in his chair. I wished I could see inside his brain. I had no idea what he was thinking and since I’d never done this before, I was freaking out inside.
“You sued your parents for child exploitation. And won.”
I nodded. I hadn’t been in front of a camera in over twelve years. And twelve years ago it had only been long enough to get in and out of the courtroom.
“I take it everything they say about you is true then.” He didn’t look upset or disgusted, just sad.
And that made me sad.
I hadn’t expected that.
“To say the least.” I confirmed. Unfortunately in my case, most of the crap in the tabloids was true—and it wasn’t even the good stuff.
Adam paled, then nodded. “I think I understand now. All of it.”
I nodded and picked up my drink. My heart was racing in my chest. It was beating so hard I couldn’t hear anything else. I downed the rest of the drink and realized my hands were shaking when I clunked the mug against the table.
Adam stared at my hands and then stood up, fishing out his wallet and dropping money on the table. “Let’s get out of here,” he commanded, holding out his hand and cocking his head. “You look like you could use a good distraction.”
I swallowed and grabbed his hand. “Please.”
Chapter 6