by B R Snow
“I’m going to try,” I said, heading for the living room.
We said hello to Chloe and sat down. I waved off Josie’s offer of wine but did take a few seconds to polish off my second cannoli.
“So what did you need help with?” Jackson said.
“Nothing,” I said. “It was a ruse to get you up here so we could talk in private.”
“A ruse? What’s going on?” Jackson said, glancing back and forth between Josie and me.
“I have no idea,” Josie said. “She’s been acting weird ever since we left the boat.”
Josie realized her mistake and sighed loudly.
“Sorry,” she said.
“What on earth are you two talking about?” Jackson said. “What boat?”
“John’s boat,” I said eventually. “The yacht down at the dock.”
“Why were you snooping around John’s boat?” Jackson said.
“Who says we were snooping?” I said.
Josie snorted. My comment even sounded lame to me.
“Okay, so we were snooping,” I said.
“I’m still waiting for an explanation,” Jackson said, giving me a hard stare.
“The boat is the key to the murders,” I said.
“Murders?” Jackson said. “As in plural?”
“Yes, Roger the Engineer and Captain Bill.”
Jackson blinked, then rubbed his eyes. I knew what was coming and waited it out.
“Suzy, I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate everything you and Josie have done for me. Not to mention what a great job you did with Sluggo. But you are way out of your league on this one. You need to leave the murder investigation to the people who do these things for a living. And nobody thinks Captain Bill was murdered. He was just a drunk who happened to fall into the water and drown.”
“Everybody is wrong,” I said.
“And, of course, you can prove this,” Jackson said.
“Not yet,” I said, shaking my head.
“Well, there you go,” he said. “You know, I always hate it when things are missing. It really gets in the way of solving crimes.”
“What things?” I said.
“The mysterious and elusive things us cops like to call facts.”
“The facts are all there,” I said. “They just need to be revealed.”
“Is that all?” Jackson said. “I feel so much better.”
Josie laughed.
“Yes,” I said. “Revealed then confirmed.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Jackson said, leaning back in his chair and giving me a less than inviting smile. “Why don’t we start by you telling me what you think you’ve figured out?”
“That would be great,” Josie said. “Because I don’t have a clue where you’re going with this, Suzy.”
I started talking and kept talking for the next twenty minutes. By the time I finished, Jackson was sitting in stunned silence and staring at me like I was from another planet.
Even Josie was staring at me like I’d lost my mind.
Chapter 24
The sun was just starting to appear over the horizon on Monday morning when Josie, Jackson, and I strolled down the dock as if we didn’t have a care in the world. It was cold and breezy. A foggy mist hovered just above the surface of the water, and I heard squawking and the flutter of wings as the waterfowl woke and got ready for the day.
I shifted the picnic basket I was carrying to my other hand and then set it down on the dock when we reached the stairway that led up to the boat. Jackson was carrying a case of champagne, and Josie held a large bouquet of fresh cut flowers in one hand and a box of Paterson’s doughnuts in the other. So far, my strategy to give her the bouquet to occupy her free hand had worked perfectly, and all the doughnuts survived the trip to the boat.
Up on deck, the crew was making final preparations for departure and John stood mid-deck nodding and chatting with Alice. When he saw us standing on the dock, he waved and motioned for us to come aboard. We handed all the items we’d brought up the stairway in an assembly line fashion, then climbed aboard.
“What a nice surprise,” John said. “What are you guys doing here?”
“We just thought we’d give you a proper sendoff,” I said, waving at Alice as well as Axel and Sheila who were wiping dew from the furniture and railings.
“How nice,” John said. “Let’s head below deck. It’s cold up here, and we’ve got a pot of fresh coffee. And I think I see a box of doughnuts from Paterson’s.” He laughed. “It’ll be a while before I get a chance to eat them again. I’m sure I’ll go into withdrawal by the time we hit the Erie Canal.”
He and Alice led us down the stairs into the sitting area next to the galley. John looked more relaxed than he had in weeks. I assumed now that the boat was ready to go, he could kick back and enjoy the long trip to Florida. John poured coffee, and Josie passed the box of doughnuts around after grabbing two. After the box had made its way around the table, it ended up sitting right in front of her.
I noticed the loving look she was giving the four remaining doughnuts.
“You need to focus,” I whispered to her.
“Oh, don’t worry,” she whispered, still staring down at the box. “I’m very focused.”
“Josie,” I whispered as I dug my fingernails into her thigh under the table. “You need to pay attention.”
“Ow,” she whispered, squirming out of my grip. “Don’t worry. I’ll be listening closely to you crash and burn. I plan on retelling this story many times in the future, and I want to make sure I get it right. And for the record, I can listen and eat at the same time.”
“Thanks for all your support,” I whispered through clenched teeth.
We’d been going back and forth about how I should handle the situation. In the end, I’d decided to go for strong and direct. Josie was still advocating for heavy sedation and a long stay in a room with padded walls.
“Are you two okay?” John said, watching our sidebar.
“Yeah, we’re fine,” I said. “But it’s probably a good idea for you to keep a close eye on your doughnut.”
John laughed, and Josie made a face at me and took a sip of coffee.
“You didn’t need to do this,” John said, patting the top of the case of champagne. “But I’m sure we’ll put it to good use. And those flowers are beautiful. I’ll find a vase for them later.”
“And Chef Claire stuffed the picnic basket full of goodies,” I said.
“You guys are the best,” John said.
“Yeah, we have our moments,” I said, glancing at Jackson, who was looking down at his phone. When he looked up and caught my eye, he nodded for me to proceed.
As we had discussed on the way over, if my theory didn’t get traction immediately, I would drop the whole thing. I had spent hours formulating my first question. Now was the time to put it out there. And on the threshold of initiating a conversation that might forever change my friendship with someone who’d been an important part of my life for years, for a moment I wished I’d never allowed my thoughts to drift in the direction they’d gone.
“The boat looks great, John,” I said. Then I took a deep breath and tossed the question out in the same quick and efficient manner I used to cast my line into the shallows. “So tell me, how much weight did you have to remove to pull the draft back to five feet?”
Alice flinched but immediately recovered. But what I, along with Jackson and Josie, was interested in was John’s reaction. His eyes grew wide, then narrowed as he frowned briefly, then a grin emerged. It had only taken a few seconds, but all three of us saw it.
“What on earth are you talking about, Suzy?” John said.
“The draft of the boat. The day it arrived, we were talking about the requirements for traveling the Inland Waterway and you mentioned that a boat couldn’t have a draft any deeper than five feet.”
“What about it?” he said, frowning as he glanced around the room.
“Well
, ever since the boat arrived, it seems that all you’ve been doing, under the guise of renovation, is try to make the boat lighter,” I said.
“Under the guise of renovation?” John said, glaring at me. “Would you mind telling me the point you’re trying to make?”
“It just seems like you’ve spent an awful lot of time on it,” I said. “I think it’s odd. Some people might even call it suspicious.”
His gave me a hard stare. I almost wilted, but hung tough.
“Who do you think you’re talking to, Suzy?”
“I don’t know who I’m talking to, John,” I said. “I thought I did. Now, I’m not so sure.”
“Look, we’ve got a very long trip ahead of us, and I’d really like to get going. So why don’t you tell me exactly what you’re trying to say?”
“I’m saying that this boat is the key to the murder of both your engineer and Captain Bill.”
There it was. I’d somehow found the courage to put it out there on the table for everyone to see, right next to the last four doughnuts.
Then I glanced at Josie who was slowly chewing. She looked at me and shrugged.
“What?” she said.
I had no idea when she’d taken it, but we were down to three doughnuts. I shook my head and looked at John who continued giving me a dark stare.
“How is the boat connected to Roger’s death, Suzy?” John said, folding his arms across his chest.
“I was hoping you’d be willing to tell us, John,” I said. “Given your involvement, why don’t you enlighten us?”
Jackson stared at me, and I’m sure he thought I’d gone way too far, way too fast with the conversation.
“My involvement? Suzy, we go way back, and I treasure our friendship, but you’ve crossed the line here,” John said, “Jackson, I’d like you to remove this woman from my boat. As of this moment, I consider her to be trespassing.”
“In a minute, John,” Jackson said, returning John’s stare.
“This is unbelievable,” John said, shaking his head.
“Should I continue?” I said.
“Of course,” John said, laughing. “I can’t wait to hear where this conversation is going to go next.”
“The day the boat arrived, Alice mentioned that Captain Bill and Roger had been arguing non-stop since they’d left Montreal.”
“So what?” John said, glancing at Alice. “They argued about everything.”
“Perhaps,” I said. “But I think this time they were arguing about who was responsible for the screw-up.”
“Screw up?” John said, his eyes widening again.
“Yes, the math problem,” I said. “We were talking that afternoon, and you mentioned how those two geniuses, Captain Bill and Roger, had difficulties understanding basic math.”
“I don’t remember saying that at all,” John said.
“I do,” Josie said.
That’s my girl. In the end, Josie always has my back. I leaned over to whisper a thank you then glanced down and noticed we were down to two doughnuts. The way they were disappearing right before my eyes, I wondered if she’d been taking magic lessons.
John glared at Josie and then refocused on me. I took a moment to gather my thoughts then continued.
“And when you told us that the owner wanted to swap out that beautiful granite and wood interior for that crappy composite, it didn’t make any sense. Nobody would do that, no matter how eccentric they were. But it is very light, isn’t it?”
“So?” John said, spreading his hands.
“But that still didn’t give you enough of the draft back. When we were here last week, the supervisor of the renovation crew was talking about how he needed to find four more. You said he was talking about needing four more workers. But he was really talking about finding four more inches of draft, wasn’t he?”
“You need to leave now, Suzy. Go back to your dogs where you belong.”
“And since the interior renovation didn’t give you enough, you had to start removing some things from the engine room, right?”
He stared at me in disbelief.
“How would you know anything about my engine room?” John said. “Jackson, this woman has obviously been on this boat without permission. I want you to arrest her, both of them, for trespassing, breaking and entering and anything else I can think of.”
“Don’t worry, John,” Jackson said. “I’m definitely considering it. But let’s keep talking for a minute.”
“Okay. But as soon as we finish up with this nonsense, you’re done in this town,” John said. “Trust me. I’m going to make it one of my personal missions.”
“I can live with that, John,” Jackson said. “I’ve always wanted to go into the grocery business.”
“Anybody who sees those bolts sticking up out of the floor in the engine room will come to the same conclusion,” I said. “A couple of heavy pieces of equipment were recently removed.”
“Suzy, I think you’ve lost your mind,” John said, then turned to Jackson. “Are you listening to her? This woman is insane.”
“She does have her moments. I have to give you that,” Jackson said.
I glared at him, then caught the smile on his face.
“I was doing a bit of math on my own,” I said.
“Good for you,” John said, shaking his head again.
“This boat is about sixty-five feet long with a beam around nineteen feet. A yacht this size usually weighs in at around a hundred thousand pounds fully loaded, give or take a few thousand. Does that sound about right?”
John shrugged and continued to stare at me.
“I used an online tool I found that calculates a boat’s draft based on length, width, and total weight.”
“And?” John said, raising an eyebrow.
“And by my calculations, about every fifteen hundred pounds of weight adds an inch of draft. So you needed to remove several thousand pounds to reduce about half a foot of draft so you could make the Inland Waterway trip.”
John stood up and leaned with his back against the galley counter.
“So if Captain Bill and Roger made a wrong calculation, and I’m not saying they did, what’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is how the mistake got made in the first place and why it’s important.”
“I can’t wait to hear this,” John said, laughing.
“You know, John,” I said, “I couldn’t understand what math problem they could have made. Roger had been building boats for you for years. And Captain Bill was obviously very experienced. At least when he was sober. Then I remembered that Captain Bill was an American, but Roger was Canadian.”
“And you think that’s what caused this math problem?” John said, continuing to laugh.
“Yes. The metric system,” I said.
John's face dropped, then he recovered. He took a sip of coffee and pushed the plate holding his doughnut to one side. That was the moment I knew I had him. Nobody with a clear conscious would ever do that to a Paterson’s doughnut.
“What does the metric system have to do with the price of fish?” John said.
“By itself, nothing. But when I remembered the one place where the metric system is frequently used in the States, it became clear,” I said, choking back my emotions. “And I have to tell you, John, when I finally put it all together, it broke my heart.”
John glanced at Alice whose face was drained of color.
“The math problem occurred when Captain Bill and Roger somehow got pounds and kilograms mixed up. Since a kilogram is a little over two pounds, five to ten thousand kilograms misread as pounds adds up to a lot of weight. And about a half a foot of draft that needed to be eliminated.”
“What exactly are you trying to accuse me of, Suzy?” John said.
“Smuggling,” I whispered.
“Smuggling what?”
“Given Captain Bill’s history working in places like Afghanistan and Turkey, my guess is heroin.”
Alice gasped, and she
gave John a wide-eyed look.
“Relax, Alice,” John said. “Suzy, even if I were inclined toward criminal behavior of that sort, do you think I’d be stupid enough to put several thousand pounds of drugs on this boat?”
“No, John,” I said. “I don’t. I think you put it in the boat.”
John’s head snapped back like I’d slapped him, but again he recovered. Then he forced another laugh.
Apparently, he was determined to go down swinging.
“My guess is that there are somewhere between five and ten thousand kilos inside the hull of this boat. That would be pretty easy to do since you and Roger built it. The heroin probably got unloaded off a ship in Montreal, and now it’s tucked safe and sound along both sides of this boat. I also guess that the story about the owner in Florida is a total lie. This boat is all yours. You aren’t selling it to anybody.”
John stared at me, then nodded. He glanced at Alice and reached behind him. Jackson stood up and pointed his gun at John.
“Easy does it, John,” Jackson said. “I really don’t want to shoot you.”
John slowly revealed his hand. It was holding his doughnut.
“No need for that, Jackson,” John said, laughing. “If you want a bite, all you have to do is ask.”
He took a bite and smiled at Jackson. Jackson slowly lowered the gun until it pointed down at the floor. Jackson froze when he felt the touch of cold metal against his temple.
“Easy does it, Jackson,” Alice said, her hand trembling as she held the gun to his head.
“Good girl,” John said as he stepped forward to take Jackson’s gun. He pointed it at us and moved back to his previous spot. Alice pointed her gun at us and stood slightly behind John a safe distance away from three of us who remained sitting at the table.
“Suzy, you are simply too much,” John said. “I have to say that I’m very impressed with how you put that together. And if you had ever gotten tired of working with dogs, I’m sure the FBI would have gladly found a spot for you.”
“He’s already speaking in the past tense,” Josie whispered. “That can’t be good.”
“No,” I whispered. “It’s not.”
I glanced down at the last remaining doughnut in the box.