by Nancy Moser
“I think I could have said less about what was on my mind,” she said. “Can we sit? I need to talk to you. To explain. To apologize.”
“You already apologized in my office. I forgave you. There is no need—”
“There is much need. Please.”
They moved to the bench where they sat side by side. “Your son is handsome. What is his name?”
“Matteo. He’s nine, and Gela is a very precocious ten.”
“You mentioned that their mother passed away?”
“She died soon after Matteo was born.”
The tragedy of it caused her chest to tighten. “I am so sorry.”
“As are we. It was horribly difficult at first, but we have managed well enough.” He looked to the ground and scuffed a shoe against an acorn. “Well enough but not full well,” he said. “When I met you, a new hope ignited in me that what we lack as a family could be filled by…” He took a new breath and looked at her. “By someone like you. By you.”
Everything that Maude was going to say scattered like pebbles on the path. “By me?”
His hand skimmed the side of her skirt. “By you.” He looked toward the lake, at his children. “But when you so adamantly said you didn’t like children, I—”
“As I told your daughter, I believe I actually said I will never marry and have children.”
Silence slid between them.
He broached the delicate subject. “You can never have children?”
She sighed, relieved to have the truth in the open. “I cannot.”
“I’m so sorry.”
She could have left it as a simple statement but felt an inner nudge to share the entire truth of it. “A few years ago I was…” She hated to use the word, but there was no other. “I was raped.”
Antonio gasped and said in Italian, under his breath. “È orribile! Terribile. Mi dispiace tanto.” He took her hand in his. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could wipe it away.”
“As do I.” She needed to finish this. “But due to my injuries…I cannot bear children.”
He drew her hand to his lips and kissed it. “Mia cara donna.”
“That is the reason I so blatantly stopped the dinner at my mother’s. She wanted us to be together and—”
“I wanted us to be together.”
She looked into his dark, deep eyes. “I wanted us to be together, but because of the awful truth I had to stop the feelings before they went further. I didn’t want my deficiency to be a burden to you.”
He spoke softly, his words a caress. “You, and all you are, could never be a burden. And I see no deficiency. Only a delightful sufficiency. A delightful abundance of all I hold dear.”
Her throat tightened. “I didn’t know you would feel this way.” I didn’t know any man could feel this way.
“You assumed too much.” He smiled. “You didn’t know that I am an extraordinary man. Quite remarkable really.”
It felt good to laugh. But then Maude grew serious. “Actually, I did know you were extraordinary from the first time I met you.” She slipped her arm through his and leaned toward him, feeling his warmth, finding strength in his strength. They watched the children sail. “I didn’t know you had children.”
“I was going to tell you—obviously—but I didn’t want you to meet them until I felt certain you would consider us, as a whole.”
She could understand that.
“At your mother’s dinner, I was going to ask you to come on an outing with us, but then…”
“I ruined it.”
“And then I was angry. At you, at myself for being drawn to you, and at God for teasing my emotions, giving me hope only to dash it.”
“I’m so sorry. I thought my decision not to marry was what God wanted me to do. I thought…” This would sound silly. “That perhaps it was penance.”
“For what?”
For being victimized? She hurried to explain. “I was taking a walk after dark and wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings.”
“That doesn’t mean you deserved to be attacked.”
She shook her head. “No, but I was usually smarter than that. My father was a foreign diplomat. I’ve lived all over the world. I was taught to be intuitive in strange situations. Wary and alert.”
“But it wasn’t a strange situation. You’d walked that way before?”
“Hundreds of times.” Whenever Mother and I had an argument.
“But even if it was new, that doesn’t mean you were in the wrong. It was not your fault.”
His voice had risen, causing a couple who were strolling by to glance their way.
He lowered the volume of his words. “I never want to hear you say that again. Doing penance for someone else’s sin? That’s nonsense.”
She felt a weight lifted. “I do wonder why God allowed it to happen.”
“We may never know. As we may never know why He took my dear Sophia. All we do know is that He is with us, helping us through.”
She scoffed.
“Why do you do that?”
“I’ve been rather mad at God.”
“So was I.”
“I don’t think He likes anger.”
Antonio raised a finger. “But He does understand it, and waits for us to see that He is right where we left Him. We move away; He doesn’t.”
Maude looked to her lap. She knew everything he said was true, and yet…“Knowing the truth and acting on it are very different.”
“I’ve been where you are, yet I found my way back to Him.”
Maude remembered her mother’s words after Maude had humiliated herself. “Saying no to marriage is your decision, not God’s…open the door, Maudey.”
She began to laugh.
“What’s funny?”
“God just opened a door for me today. Leading me away from my friends. Finding…you.”
The way he smiled at her filled her in a way she never knew she needed to be filled.
Then he cocked his head as if thinking a new thought. He angled his body to face her. “This may sound pazzesco, but if I had not lost Sophia, and if you had not been attacked—which led you to spurn the idea of marriage…”
She grasped the direction of his words. “We would never have considered the other beyond a business relationship.”
“I would still be happily married, and you too would probably be married.”
“Our crises created a new need within us.”
“They created us, new,” he said.
“Changed.”
“Which left us open to finding each other.”
Maude took in a fresh breath, released it, then gasped with an additional thought. “I cannot have children, but you already have children.”
He nodded, smiling wistfully at her. “You can be a mother, Maude.”
Was he proposing?
He must have seen the look of shock on her face, for he backpedaled. “I am not asking you to marry me—yet. But remember when I went to dinner at your mother’s, I said I was ready to tell you about my children and ask you to go on an outing with us?”
“I do.”
“It appears we are already on an outing.” He stood and drew her to standing beside him. “Shall we?”
Maude wanted to shout it for all the park to hear. “We shall!”
“I don’t know where she went,” Annie said, walking around the Bethesda fountain for the tenth time. Her feet hurt. Her back hurt. She wanted to go home and rest, for they had a big evening planned at Delmonico’s.
“Go on home, Annie,” Edna said. “I’ll wait for her.”
Sean shook his head. “We’ll wait with you.” He led his wife to a bench. “Sit.”
It was up to the three of them. Vesta and Richard had left for home. Henrietta, Steven, and her parents had gone off to the Friesens’ to spend the afternoon together.
They had to find Maude.
Annie was on the verge of letting her annoyance grow to anger when she spotted Maude walking toward the
m.
She was not alone. She had her arm linked with a handsome Italian-looking man who carried a toy sailboat. Skipping in front of them were two children holding hands.
Was this Antonio Ricci? If so, were those children…?
Maude waved, and Annie waved back.
“Is that who I think it is?” Sean said.
“I expect so.”
“He has children?” Edna said quietly.
“Apparently, he does.”
“Maude is smiling.”
Very much so. Something had happened in the last hour. Annie had never seen Maude’s cheeks so rosy, her smile so broad, her eyes so bright.
“There you are,” Annie said as they drew close. “We were worried about you.”
“I’m sorry,” Maude said. “I should have told you where I was going, but I didn’t know myself.”
“She didn’t know she was finding me,” Antonio said. “And I, her.” He extended his hand to Annie. “I’m Antonio Ricci. Antonio. And you must be Annie.”
“I am.” She glanced at Maude who was blushing nicely. “We’ve heard so much about you.”
When he looked at Maude her blush intensified. “I might have shared a few of your attributes with them.”
“Attributes?”
“Good traits, one and all,” Annie said. “Antonio, this is my husband, Sean.”
They shook hands. It was quite a visual moment with Sean’s blond handsomeness meeting Antonio’s Mediterranean good looks.
Maude moved beside Edna and said, “This is my dear friend, Edna Holmquist. We share an apartment.”
“Very nice to meet you, Antonio.”
Annie knew they were all were sizing up this man who had stolen Maude’s heart. He was charming and at ease, and attractive enough to turn any female’s head.
But the children…Maude hadn’t said anything about him having children. Annie pointed to the boy’s sailboat. “Did it sail well today?”
“A little well. There’s not much breeze. And there are leaves in the water, in the way.”
“So you’re Annie?” the little girl asked. She glanced at Maude. “Maude said we were going to find Annie.”
“I am Annie. And you are?”
“Angela, but I like to be called Gela. And he’s Matteo.”
Annie shook their hands. Both children had eyes the color of rich chocolate. “Nice to meet you.”
Annie wanted to take Maude aside and ask a thousand questions. Yet by her smile, she already knew the most important answers: Maude and Antonio were reconciled, and Maude had obviously changed her mind about letting romance enter her life.
“Where are the others?” Maude asked. “I want to introduce them.”
“Gone home for the afternoon,” Annie said. “We will meet at Delmonico’s at eight.” She hastened to take liberties with the invitation by addressing Antonio. “I’m sure Henrietta and her family would love for you and the children to come along.”
“I don’t wish to intrude.”
“I assure you, you will be quite welcome.”
“Then I accept,” he said. “I am eager to know all of the important people in Maude’s life.”
They began to walk down the Mall, a happy gaggle, but soon Antonio and the children had to go home.
Which was fine with Annie, as it left Maude alone for some female interrogation. To fully embrace their chance, she whispered in Sean’s ear, instructing him to walk ahead.
“I saw what you just did,” Maude said to Annie. “And I thank you for it, because I really want to talk to you two alone.”
“Tell us every detail,” Edna said.
“Did you know he was going to be here?”
“Of course not. I had no plans to walk to the sailing pond either, but…”
“But what?”
Maude fiddled with her gloves. “God wanted me there. To see Antonio. To make things right between us.” Her eyes glistened. “He gave me another chance.”
“God or Antonio?” Edna asked.
“Both.” Maude was so full of emotion she came to a stop, took their hands, and faced them. “You remember when I went to my mother’s for dinner and Antonio was there, how I was rude to him?”
“You went to his office to apologize.”
“He accepted my apology, but I’d hurt him so badly I thought I’d ruined everything.” She looked over her shoulder toward the pond. “But then I saw him by the water. And he had two children. He saw me and smiled. He smiled at me.”
“Of course he smiled at you.”
She shook her head vehemently. “You don’t understand how cold he’d been at his office. I thought he never wanted to see me again.” She sighed. “But at the pond…the bad things in the past faded away.”
“He’d forgiven you.”
She nodded. “I got a second chance.” She squeezed their hands. “God arranged for me to see him and softened his heart toward me. Even after all I did.”
“God is merciful,” Edna said. “He is the God of second chances.”
“And third,” Annie said. She remembered the many times she’d pushed Sean away before she’d come to her senses and married the man.
“Did you know he had children?” Edna asked.
“I didn’t. He said his wife died soon after Matteo was born. He was going to tell me about the children the night of the dinner.” She lifted her hands and let them drop. “I can’t have children, yet I find a man who already has two—two children in need of a mother? It’s incredible.”
Annie felt a twinge of worry that Maude was jumping too fast.
Maude must have seen her wariness for she said, “We’re not engaged. Yet.”
Edna kept her voice low. “Does he know about the attack and your condition?”
“He does.”
Annie was taken aback. “He does?”
“I just told him.”
“My, my,” Edna said. “You made quick work of many important issues.”
Maude put a fist to her chest. “The need to tell him the truth and my change of heart that allowed the idea of loving someone have been stirring within me for nearly a month. When I saw him I was ready to lay the truth out between us. I’m so thankful I got the chance, for I truly believe if I hadn’t, the could-have-beens would have haunted me the rest of my life.” She linked arms with her friends and they began to walk.
Edna beat Annie to a question that was on her mind. “But two children…are you up for it?”
Annie was almost relieved Maude hesitated, for the pause made her words more credible.
“There is no way to know.” She glanced at Annie. “Do you know if you will be a good mother?”
It was a good point. “There is no way to know.”
“What I do know is that I am about ready to burst with happiness.”
Her joy was Annie’s joy. To have both Maude and Henrietta find good men who loved them…God was very, very good.
The maître d’ at Delmonico’s gave their attire a glance. He was dressed more formally than they were and led the group to a large table set for eleven—not thirteen, for Antonio had left the children with his parents.
As they walked past table after table where men and women were dressed in elegant formalwear, Annie was glad they were seated quickly to better hide her nice-but-not-fancy clothes.
Sean, Steven, and Antonio seemed oblivious to the disparity between their Sunday suits and the tuxedos around them. Only Sean’s father, Richard, seemed embarrassed by it.
Lady Newley sat beside her and leaned close. “Don’t be nervous. The other diners don’t bite. They only take an occasional nip.”
Annie let her worries pass. It was odd to be seated next to her mistress. Fifteen months ago Annie had been her housemaid. And now, to be seated next to Lord and Lady Newley, dining with them? It overwhelmed.
Once all were settled, Lord Newley rose. “I want to thank you for joining my wife and I for this celebration of our daughter’s betrothal. I took the liberty of cho
osing a menu for us.” He nodded to a waiter who brought over printed menus with the heading of In Honor of the Betrothal of Steven Holmquist and Henrietta Kidd. There were lovely illustrations of flowers and curlicues forming a frame. Annie scanned the exotic dishes: Oysters, consommé souveraine, green turtle, timbales perigerdine, filets of kingfish meunière, cucumbers, persillade potatoes, saddle of lamb Colbert, stuffed tomatoes, Baltimore terrapin, mushrooms on toast with cream, sherbet with kirsch, quail, red head duck, fried hominy and currant jelly, celery mayonnaise, and for dessert, fancy ice cream, assorted cakes, bonbons, and coffee.
Gracious. “I’m afraid I only comprehend every other dish.”
Henrietta laughed with her. “I know meunière is a luscious butter sauce.”
Sean raised a hand. “Butter always wins me over.”
“Doesn’t the word timbales mean drum in French?” Vesta asked.
“It does,” Lady Newley said. “That is a truffle dish formed in a rectangular crust, like a drum.”
“But drums are round,” Steven said.
Lady Newley laughed. “That is what I always thought. But rectangular or round, it is delicious.”
Lord Newley pointed to one of the dishes. “My wife and cousin chose the menu, and there is one dish I don’t recognize. Hominy?”
“It’s a kind of corn,” Edna said. “They can make grits out of it.”
“Grits?”
“Ground up hominy that’s boiled. It’s quite tasty, but you eat it more in the South than up here in New York.”
“I will look forward to the ice cream,” Antonio said. “My children ask for it far too often.”
“I love it too,” Maude said.
“Then we shall enjoy some together on our next outing.”
The look exchanged between Maude and Antonio warmed Annie. Witnessing a courtship brought back happy memories of her own.
The service began, and Annie paced herself, wanting to try each and every dish—which were all delicious. And yes, Henrietta had been correct, the butter sauce on the fish was divine.
The conversation was lively, and stories were shared about the creation and opening of Unruffled. The Newleys were gracious and seemed genuinely interested in the details.
Annie thought she had absolutely no room to partake of the desserts, but when a tray of petits fours was offered, and then ice cream, she could not resist. She also chose one bonbon for good measure.