Work seemed the only way to ease his anger. Jayce tried to pray, but while it comforted his heart to a degree, he would inevitably begin to think about the pain Chase had caused, and soon the comfort was lost.
Jayce simply couldn’t reconcile the fact that Chase was dead or that he’d raped Leah. It all just seemed impossible to accept. Why had these things happened? What purpose did they serve? It seemed like one of the strange nightmares Jayce had had as a boy. Nightmares where everyone he loved had been lost in house fires or floods. He supposed those things had been borne out of his worst fears, but this was no dream. He couldn’t just wake up this time and have it all fade away with the night.
When the grave was finally complete, Jayce packed up his gear and readied the dogs. He had been fortunate in his hunting efforts and would return to Last Chance with two wolf pelts, three fox, and four rabbit furs. The meat had provided well. The dogs seemed particularly fond of the wolf meat. The bear that had killed Chase never materialized again, however, much to Jayce’s disappointment.
Moving out, Jayce tried to imagine what he would say to Leah when he saw her again. He wanted no secrets between them and planned to just tell her that he knew the truth. He hoped it would be less painful for her this way. He reasoned that if she didn’t have to come to him it would be less humiliating for her. Still, Jayce couldn’t help but wonder how they would overcome this obstacle.
How can I help Leah? How can I ever make this right for her? How can she forgive me for not saving her from Chase, when I can’t forgive myself?
The questions continued to nag at him all that day. Every time he attempted to clear his mind and refuse to dwell on the matter, something would come along to steal his peace. He knew it was foolish to let his mind wander. The trails were deadly and full of surprises. There were creeks and rivers to cross or follow, as well as obstacles buried under the snow that could wreak havoc with his dogs and sled. Still, it was only by forcing his mind to comply that Jayce managed to even see his surroundings. Leah was all he wanted to see—to think about.
With no little difficulty, Jayce found the native village where they’d left Brownie. He’d gone in the opposite direction twice as he lost his bearings but finally came around right. He was welcomed and cared for, as were the dogs. The people seemed to sense a great sorrow had come upon Jayce. One of the elders asked for his story and Jayce shared his tale with the man. He said nothing about Leah, however, seeing no reason to bring her into the story.
‘‘My brother is dead. A bear attacked him. I buried him the best I could.’’
The man nodded. ‘‘It bad thing. I am pained to hear you speak.’’
Jayce tried to suppress a yawn. ‘‘I thank you for your hospitality— for your kindness.’’
‘‘You rest here. This good house to sleep in. I know.’’ He smiled and motioned to a woman whom Jayce knew to be his wife. ‘‘We let you sleep now.’’ The man pointed to where his wife had created a pallet of blankets and furs.
‘‘Thank you. I will rest very well.’’ Jayce gave them a slight bow and went to the makeshift bed.
Lying there awake well into the night, Jayce knew that he needed a good night’s sleep. But he was restless and sleep wouldn’t come. He tried to pray, to reason with himself, to force his body to relax—but it was no good. He felt like the biblical Jacob, having wrestled all night with something not of this world. He finally fell asleep just as the man and woman began to stir. His last conscious thought was of Leah. How he longed to hold her—to reassure her that his love for her hadn’t changed. He could only pray her love for him had stayed the same, because if she didn’t love him anymore—if Chase had driven that from her heart—Jayce didn’t think he could bear it.
Leah had never been so happy to see a place in all her life. In the distance, light shone in the windows of a dozen or more houses. Home. Last Chance Creek had never looked more wonderful.
‘‘It’s past suppertime,’’ Jacob said as he pulled the sled to a stop. John pulled his sled up alongside, while the other men were already dispersing for their homes.
‘‘My wife will cook for us,’’ John said. ‘‘I’ll take the dogs. You can take the women.’’
Jacob laughed. ‘‘I think the dogs might be easier to care for.’’
‘‘We can hear you perfectly well,’’ Leah said, getting out of John’s sled basket. Dogs around the village began to bark and yip. ‘‘Well, now everyone will know we’re here.’’
It wasn’t long before Ayoona came from her inne. ‘‘Lay-Ya! You are here.’’
Leah went to embrace the old woman. ‘‘Yes, I am. I am home.’’
‘‘You come in, and I feed you. We have walrus stew. You like it plenty.’’
‘‘I do,’’ Leah admitted. ‘‘It sounds wonderful, but I’m so tired, I don’t know that I can even crawl down your tunnel.’’
‘‘Leah! Jacob! You’re home!’’ Emma Kjellmann came running across to greet them. She waved her lantern back and forth. ‘‘I’ve never been so happy to see anyone in my life. Where’s Jayce?’’
Leah squared her shoulders. ‘‘He’s gone to find his brother.’’
‘‘Oh, when we heard it was Chase and not Jayce who’d taken you, we were sick. Bjorn called a prayer meeting and we prayed well into the night for your safety. And here you are, safe and sound. Oh, I’m so blessed. God is so faithful to answer our prayers.’’ She hugged Leah tightly while Leah exchanged a glance with her brother.
‘‘Ayoona was just offering to feed us walrus stew,’’ Leah said, pulling back more quickly than Emma was prepared for.
‘‘Oh, bring the stew to my house. We have fresh sourdough bread and white-fish soup. Please come, Ayoona.’’
The old woman grinned. ‘‘We come for your bread.’’
Emma laughed. ‘‘Oh, what a grand celebration. We should invite everyone, but they’d never fit in our house.’’
‘‘Speaking of your house,’’ Jacob said, ‘‘we wondered if you might be able to put up a houseguest for a time. Like maybe until spring thaw.’’
Emma looked from Leah to Jacob. ‘‘You, Jacob?’’
‘‘No. Helaina Beecham.’’ He pointed to where Helaina was just now getting out of the sled. ‘‘She’s been sick with pneumonia and needs time to mend.’’
‘‘I’ll be fine,’’ Helaina protested. ‘‘Stop fussing over me.’’
‘‘Of course she can stay with us. We have all that extra space, and Sigrid won’t come until next June. Of course, Helaina can stay on if she needs because Bjorn and I will take the children south to see their grandparents. Sigrid will have the big house to herself, so Helaina is more than welcome to stay.’’
‘‘I won’t be here that long,’’ Helaina told her. ‘‘In fact, if I have my way, I won’t be here long at all. I need to get back to the States.’’
Emma laughed. ‘‘Well, unless you have one of those aeroplanes to take you out of here, you’ll be hard-pressed to find another way.’’
‘‘Well, I understand there are men who for hire will take me by dogsled. I intend to find one of them since no one here seems to care enough.’’
Leah frowned. ‘‘It’s a matter of feeling the risk to life isn’t worth the price,’’ she interjected. ‘‘Sometimes the price required is too high.’’
‘‘Look, it’s cold and we’re hungry,’’ Jacob said. ‘‘Let’s discuss this over food.’’
‘‘Ja. Where are my manners? I’ll send Bjorn to help with the dogs.’’
‘‘No need. I’ll have Kimik and Seal-Eye Sam. They help.’’ John moved to take the lines for both teams. ‘‘Jacob, pull the hooks.’’
Jacob quickly released the sleds, and John led the dogs away. They were feisty, but John was quite capable of keeping them in line.
‘‘I get Oopick and we come,’’ Ayoona told Emma.
‘‘Good. Come along, you three. You can wash up before you eat. I have warm water.’’
They followed
Emma to the house, and Leah couldn’t help but laugh at the reception they got as they entered the mission home. Bryce and Nolan rushed her and hugged her so tightly that Leah thought for sure they would break her in half. Even Rachel came dashing across the floor to see what was happening. Leah knelt down, but the little girl shyly took hold of her mother’s dress.
‘‘She doesn’t remember me.’’
‘‘Of course she does, Leah. She’s just going through a stage. She does this with everyone. Even Ayoona.’’ Emma scooped up her daughter and grinned. ‘‘She’ll be playing with you soon enough.
She has to have everyone’s attention eventually.’’
‘‘I’ll be right back. I just want to make sure John has enough help,’’ Jacob said, taking off before the women could answer him.
Emma bounced Rachel on her hip. ‘‘Helaina, why don’t you come with me? I have some clothes that I think will fit you. You can wash up and change from those things and we’ll get you tucked into bed. Then I’ll bring you some soup and bread. Leah, I have plenty of herbs if you want to mix up something for Helaina’s sickness.’’
‘‘You don’t need to fuss over me,’’ Helaina declared as Emma led the way to the back side of the house.
Leah nudged Helaina along. ‘‘We just want to get you back on your feet so that you can be on your way. That’s what you wanted as well—to get back to the States. Now don’t argue with the pastor’s wife.’’
The room they’d added was no bigger than eight foot by six, but it seemed wonderfully large to Leah. A small rope bed stood in one corner. It had been constructed from driftwood and looked quite sturdy.
‘‘It has a feather mattress,’’ Emma said proudly. Rachel fought to get down, and Emma conceded and put her on the floor. In a flash the toddler was off and running. ‘‘I plucked enough ptarmigan and duck feathers to make a pillow as well.’’
‘‘Oh, it sounds divine,’’ Helaina said, rubbing her stomach. ‘‘I wonder if you might help me with something else.’’
Leah and Emma looked at the woman and nodded. Leah felt apprehensive of what Helaina might request, but at this point it would be good just to have the woman settled and out of her hair.
Helaina looked beyond the two women and took a step closer.
‘‘I think my monthly time is due. I have terrible cramps.’’
‘‘Oh, not to worry,’’ Emma said with great assurance. ‘‘I have everything you need. I’ll bring you tea with the soup. Now you just get out of those things. I’ll bring you hot water and something to sleep in. Leah, you come with me to my room. I’ll bring water for you too.’’
Leah hardly heard Emma’s words. She followed her slowly, trying desperately to calculate the last time she’d had her own monthly time. A sickening feeling washed over her. It had been just before her marriage to Jayce. She’d not had her woman’s time since then.
Feeling weak in the knees, Leah sank onto the nearest chair. She could hardly bear the thought of what it all meant. She might very well be pregnant.
‘‘Are you all right?’’ Emma asked, her voice heavy with concern. ‘‘I’m fine . . . just tired. The trip was exhausting.’’
‘‘Well, you were gone for so long.’’
Just then Ayoona and Oopick arrived, their arms full of goodies. ‘‘We are here, Lay-Ya.’’
Leah looked up and forced a smile, while Emma rushed to help the women. The reality of the moment was almost more than she could bear.
I might be with child. The thought was startling. Worse still was the question that followed.
I might be with child, but who is the father?
Chapter Twenty-one
Leah and Jacob settled into their house and a sort of familiar routine emerged. Jacob rose daily to care for the dogs and later went to hunt or help in the village, while Leah cooked and preserved, tended the store, and worked with hides and sewing. The store took less and less time as the supplies gave out. Most winters Jacob would have already made a trip to Nome, but given the events of the last few months, their regular schedules were completely altered.
‘‘Most of the folks have traded clothing items and furs for the store’s food and tools,’’ Jacob said as they finished a breakfast of caribou sausage and oatmeal. ‘‘I need to get into Nome and exchange them for goods. We brought some cloth up with us on the Homestead. I put it in storage so that we’d have it later. Would you like me to bring some back? I think it might be useful in making shirts and kuspuks.’’
‘‘That would be very useful. Will you leave right away?’’ Leah saw it as a good way to get Jacob away from Helaina and her constant nagging to help get her to the States.
‘‘Not for Nome,’’ Jacob replied. ‘‘I need more furs. One of my suppliers in Nome is big on furs. He has some group in New York that pays him top dollar—especially for beaver, wolf, fox, and such. Oh, and I should lay in a good supply of meat for you before I leave. There’s no telling how long it will be before Jayce returns. No sense making John hunt for you as well as his own family.’’
‘‘No, he’s already done so much for me. I still haven’t found a proper way to thank him for helping you come after us.’’
‘‘I’m sure he’d love some of your baked goods,’’ Jacob said, smiling. ‘‘I know I would.’’
‘‘Well, when you bring back supplies, make sure there’s plenty of sugar and lard. Nothing ever tastes right when I use seal or whale fat.’’
Jacob nodded and grew quite serious. ‘‘I want you to know that I won’t leave if you don’t want me to. If you want me to wait for Jayce to return, I will.’’
‘‘No, there’s a greater need for you to be gathering supplies. I’d rather you go. I know it could be some time before Jayce returns, but then again, maybe he’ll come back tomorrow. We can’t be certain.’’ Leah wanted to keep Jacob focused on his trip. She hoped his interest in Helaina would wane if the two were separated for a time. ‘‘Will you go with someone?’’
Jacob drank the last of his coffee and got to his feet. ‘‘Nut-chuk wants to go hunting with me, and I think it will serve him well. His grandfather is constantly giving him trouble over becoming a Christian.’’
‘‘Well, since his grandfather is a shaman, it isn’t surprising. I’m sure our ways seem just as strange to him as his ways are to us.’’
‘‘I wish their superstitions wouldn’t bind them so strongly. It’s hard for Nutchuk to be in that family with his new faith. I know God will give him the strength he needs, but I think getting away on a trapping trip will give Nutchuk a much needed rest from the rhetoric. We can spend time reading the Bible every day, and hopefully his faith can grow.’’
‘‘I’m sure you’re right. I’ll put some things together for you.’’
Jacob nodded and pulled on his parka. ‘‘I need to finish up with the dogs. Oh, and we have a new batch of puppies. Angel gave birth last night.’’
‘‘How many?’’ Leah asked as she moved to gather the breakfast dishes.
‘‘Six. They all look good and healthy. Not a real runt in the bunch.’’
‘‘I’m glad to hear it. I hate it when we have to put them down. Seems so cruel, yet I know fighting for an existence out here is also cruel when you’re smaller than the rest.’’
‘‘I don’t want you having to be responsible for the dogs while I’m gone, so I’m gonna pay John to help with them. Of course, he won’t want to take money, but I figured I’d promise him a couple of Angel’s pups for all he’s done.’’
‘‘I think that’s a good idea. The dogs will give him better service than my baked goods,’’ she said, smiling. ‘‘But I’ll get some of those prepared as well.’’
‘‘Oh, I nearly forgot,’’ Jacob said, turning at the door, ‘‘I’m gonna need some new mukluks. These are nearly worn through.’’
‘‘It’s no wonder with you traipsing all over the territory. I’ll check around the store and see what we have, and if nothing’s large enough, I�
�ll go talk with the women in the village. Ayoona may have even made some for you. You know how she likes to give you something special at Christmas.’’
‘‘Well, I’d hate to ruin her surprise.’’
‘‘But you can’t go out there on a long hunt without good boots. Let me see what I can find. I think the trip will do you good, and no doubt the furs and meat will keep us well through the winter. I hope you find some caribou. I’ve really wanted some caribou steak.’’
He smiled. ‘‘That does sound good. I’ll see what I can do.’’
‘‘I know you—you’ll probably bring home a whole herd.’’ She wanted to sound as positive as possible about his trip. Leah didn’t want Jacob to worry about her or do anything that might delay his leaving. The sooner he left, the sooner he would be away from Helaina, and Leah felt that was the most important thing of all.
Jacob had actually been surprised to find Leah so receptive to his leaving again. He feared she’d be uncomfortable staying alone, and maybe worried, too, since Jayce hadn’t returned. Instead she was practically pushing him out the door.
He checked on Angel in the partially open birthing shed he’d made for such occasions and found her happily nursing her pups. ‘‘Just look at you, little mama,’’ he said, bringing her fresh water and food.
Angel was hungry and quickly shook off her babies to come to where Jacob poured her a bowl of food. It was a strange concoction of mixed meats and commercial dried dog food, something Jacob didn’t use often. ‘‘Here you go.’’
The dog, a large powerful animal who held a wheel position on the sled line, devoured her food quickly, then looked to Jacob as if to question if there’d be more. Jacob gave her a rigorous petting. ‘‘You’re a good dog, Angel. But now you need to go back and tend to your babies.’’
Under the Northern Lights Page 19