She eyed him skeptically. “I thought you weren’t the marriage and kids kind of guy.”
“I’m not, but that isn’t because I don’t respect the institution. I don’t think two people should be getting married without an earthshaking kind of love. What can I say? I’m an idealistic kind of guy.”
But like she’d just told him, actions spoke louder than words, and so far she’d only seen Gabe run from relationships. The TV in the living room started to play a familiar theme song, and Harper shook her head. She wasn’t going to make sense of this man, and it didn’t matter. They were co-parents, not even exes! As long as he was a good father to Zoey, that was all that mattered.
“Zoey’s waiting. Unicorns are very important. You should know that up front.”
“All right.” He sobered. “Lead the way.”
* * *
Unicorns. Gabe repressed a sigh. His daughter—he was still adjusting to even thinking the word—was going to introduce him to a whole other world of little girl stuff, and he had to admit that he was scared. There was no time to adjust, to get used to the idea. Right now, he was running on instinct—be nice, smile, charm the kid. But that couldn’t last, could it? Eventually, he’d be forced to parent in some capacity, and charm wasn’t going to cut it.
Zoey was curled up on the floor with a giant pillow, and he sank into the couch next to Harper. She cast him a smile, and he felt a rush of uncertainty. What was he doing here? When he imagined what this meeting would be like, he’d thought there would be less...kid stuff. Was that naive of him?
“So...unicorns,” Gabe said.
“It’s a good show,” Zoey said. “I watch it before bed sometimes when I can’t sleep.”
“Ah. So unicorns make you sleepy?” he asked.
“Unicorns are wonderful.” Zoey eyed him with slight mistrust. “Really wonderful.”
He wasn’t sure how to answer that, and he looked over at Harper questioningly.
“All right, Zoey,” Harper said with a chuckle. “I told you they were important.”
The DVR recording began. It was about as agonizing as he expected it to be. He’d never been a big fan of children’s television, but Zoey seemed to be enthralled by the story of a unicorn whose horn was too glittery. At least, he’d assumed she was enthralled until he heard soft snores coming from the direction of that giant pillow.
“She must have been tired,” Harper whispered.
“Yeah, looks like.”
Zoey looked smaller now that she was sleeping all curled up on that pillow. She looked more fragile, more in need of protection. She was this rambunctious, tender little responsibility that had been thrust onto him...and he had no choice. Whether it was good for the kid or not, she was his.
“Thanks for having me over.” Gabe kept his voice low. “I appreciate getting to meet her...properly.”
Harper nodded. “Thanks for coming.”
So formal, and yet Harper still made him feel things he didn’t want to feel. She’d always had that effect on him. She looked paler in the low light, her eyes luminous behind those tortoiseshell glasses. Gabe tore his gaze away from hers and pushed himself to his feet.
“So what do we—” He stopped when Zoey shifted in her sleep, nearly waking. That wasn’t the plan. He glanced toward the door and Harper pointed and nodded. They’d step outside. It was probably better that way. The TV show droned on, and Gabe slipped on his jacket and shoes as Harper did the same, except she wore a pair of slippers and pulled on a bulky sweater.
The evening was chilly, and he led the way outside and into the yard. It was dark already, and the moon had risen in a milky orb, large and bright. The grass was starting to get a lace of frost around the fence posts, and the chill air smelled like leaves, dew and sunsets.
He met Harper’s gaze.
“So...where does this leave us?” he asked. “What do you need from me?”
“I don’t actually know.” Her cheeks flushed pink. “You’d think I’d have figured that out, huh?”
“I was hoping so.” He smiled wanly. “I have no idea how to be a dad. My grandmother made everything about appearances—making sure that she didn’t look bad. I just have a feeling that my first instincts here are going to be wrong.”
“You looked like you were fine tonight,” Harper said with a faint shrug.
She hadn’t seen it—she’d never seen him. She’d looked right past him, never seen his very human heart. Tonight, he was far from “fine” with his daughter. But that was the way it had always been with Harper, even back when they were teens. He’d been head over heels for her, and she’d brushed him off like an afterthought.
“Well, I guess I fake it well. I always did.”
“You mean when we were kids,” she said. “I wish I’d noticed some warning signs or something.”
“Think about it—I was angry, I was dating way too young, looking for love in all the wrong places... That wasn’t normal behavior.”
“I guess. I mean, you didn’t seem like you were being abused.” She met his gaze, sympathy mingling with guilt in those green eyes.
“Yeah, well, no one else noticed, either. My grandmother was a pro when it came to preserving appearances, so don’t feel too bad.”
Her eyes pooled with sadness, and Gabe reached out and moved a curl away from her forehead. She dropped her gaze as his fingers touched her silky skin, and he pulled his hand back. Why had he done that? There was just something about the honesty in her eyes... “I might not be family-man material, but I’ve got some good reasons for that, at least. You remember when I used to try to get you to go out with me?” he asked with a small smile.
“Vaguely.” She looked away. Embarrassed? She shouldn’t be the one to feel stupid for that. “You asked out every girl.”
“I asked them out, I flirted, and I played around,” he agreed. “I only asked you out once, though, and I never played games with you.”
“That’s supposed to tell me something?” Harper dropped her hands. “I was just another girl you flirted with!”
“No, you weren’t.” His voice lowered to a rumble. “You were the one girl I really liked. I didn’t fool around like I did with the other girls because when you shot me down, it actually hurt.”
“Me?” She still seemed to not quite believe him. “I was quiet, bookish, kind of nerdy... You dated the cool girls.”
“They’d have me.” A smile twitched up one side of his mouth. “And you weren’t nerdy, you were mysterious. A thinker...beautiful.”
“Oh...” Harper pushed her hair away from her face, and she looked bashful again. He’d embarrassed her. She didn’t seem used to compliments. She’d never softened to his charm, not even back then. But he was being completely honest. Harper had taken his breath away, and he sincerely wished that he’d stopped reacting to her like this over the years, but if anything, she was a slow burn—getting deeper and more beautiful as the years passed. She still took his breath away.
“Anyway,” he said, clearing his throat. “I’ll be working out my issues for a long time to come. But I’m honest, I work hard, and I’m a stubborn lout when it comes to criminals. I’m one of those guys who doesn’t stop. It’s hard to beat a guy who won’t quit. I’m no prize boyfriendwise, but I’m a good cop. So whoever robbed your store just messed with the wrong man.”
“I should be grateful for that,” Harper said.
“Yeah. I’m good for something.” He smiled ruefully. “I’m a better guy to have on your side than you think, Harper.”
The wind picked up and Harper hunched her shoulders against the chill. They stepped toward each other as if on instinct—bracing against the damp, autumn cold. They ended up closer together than either seemed to expect, because Harper’s eyes widened in surprise, just as another curl tumbled in front of them. Gabe reached to move it away from her face, and as he di
d, his gaze caught hers. Her lips parted as if she meant to say something, and he was struck anew by her untarnished beauty. Faint freckles were sprinkled across her nose, her milky skin glowing in the moonlight. Her lashes—dark auburn—brushed her cheeks when she blinked, and his breath caught. He wanted to pull her into his arms, be a human shield from both bad guys and the cold... He wanted to close those last inches between them, dip his head down and capture those soft, pink lips with his—and he caught himself leaning down.
What was he thinking? He knew better than to let his mind go down the garden path like that.
“I, uh—” Gabe cleared his throat, and closing his eyes for a moment, he tried to banish the image of a kiss he longed for. “I’d better get going. It’s late.”
“Me, too.” Harper’s response sounded breathy, and she took a step back. “I have to get Zoey into bed.”
She met his gaze once more, then turned away. Gabe watched as Harper walked briskly back toward the front door, her sweater held close around her shoulders. She turned before she opened the door, and she seemed to have her reserve back. She met his gaze with an unreadable expression, and then disappeared inside. The door shut with a soft click, and he was left alone in the yard.
“Not the plan...” he muttered to himself as he headed for his vehicle.
That hadn’t been the plan at all. He knew what he could offer, and he’d been praying for God to help him heal from all of it—including whatever residual feelings he’d been carrying around for Harper all these years.
Lord, keep me professional, he prayed in his heart. I can’t keep making the same mistake...
He knew what he could offer. So why did he keep falling for women who wanted the very thing he couldn’t provide? He was a cop, a protector, a stubborn lout who never quit. But he was not, and never would be, a family man.
And yet he’d have to figure out fatherhood somehow... He wanted to pray about that, and he didn’t know how.
Chapter Seven
Harper closed the door behind her, then leaned against it with a shaky sigh. What had just happened out there? Gabe Banks was heartbreak waiting to happen, but she’d never looked up at any man and felt her heart flutter and her stomach float. He was different out there tonight—strong, muscular, vulnerably open... Still, she knew better! So why had she found herself breathless, looking up into those intense eyes and wondering if he was about to kiss her?
More to the point—would she have stopped him?
“Yes!” she said out loud, and Zoey stirred in front of the TV. Harper sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. Yes, she’d have stopped him, but it would have taken a great deal of self-control to do so. This was exactly the thing she’d been warning Andrea about. A man could lure a woman in, but that didn’t mean he had anything at all to offer for the long term. And Harper wasn’t a woman who wanted to be conquered or worn down. She wanted a man who made sense on a head level as well as a heart level.
Harper went to the window just as Gabe’s truck pulled out of the driveway. She leaned her forehead against the chilly glass and heaved a sigh. The problem with Gabe was that he wasn’t quite so easy to dismiss. He was a wounded guy who was dealing with childhood abuse and some really hard memories. He was deeper than Harper liked to admit.
But that didn’t make him kissable. Or dateable. It certainly didn’t make him marriageable. It just made him harder to brush off.
Harper used the remote to turn the TV off, then bent down next to her daughter. Their daughter—in the least traditional of ways. She smoothed a hand over Zoey’s forehead.
“Sweetie,” she murmured. “Time for bed...”
Zoey blinked blearily up at Harper, and she gathered the girl in her arms. Zoey still fit into her arms nicely, and Harper ambled down the hallway toward Zoey’s bedroom. This choice to tell Gabe about Zoey had eased her conscience, but it was also going to complicate her life. Not only did she have to learn how to parent, she’d have to learn how to co-parent with a man who’d just confessed to having had some very real feelings for her back when she thought he was just passing the time with some flirting.
Nothing about this was going to be simple, was it?
* * *
The next morning, Harper poured Zoey her breakfast cereal while she munched on some buttered toast of her own.
“So what did you think of your dad?” Harper asked.
“I don’t know,” Zoey said thoughtfully.
“Does he seem nice?” Harper asked.
“I liked the bracelets,” she said, holding up the toy handcuffs.
Harper chuckled. “They’re very nice. And they’re called handcuffs, sweetie.”
“I call them bracelets.”
“Okay. No arresting the other kids today in preschool.”
“Aw!” Zoey’s face fell, and Harper laughed softly.
“Your teacher will take the handcuffs away if you do.”
“Fine,” the girl sighed. “No arresting my friends...”
Harper didn’t know what she was expecting from her daughter. Zoey was too young to grasp the import of having met her dad. At four, she still expected the world to revolve around her. But those handcuffs—they’d been a more enlightening gift than Gabe probably realized. Harper had never spotted it before, but Zoey just might have her dad’s penchant for law enforcement.
After Harper dropped Zoey off at preschool, she headed over to Blessings Bridal to meet the glass company that was replacing the broken front window. She unlocked the front door and let herself in. She was ready to reopen again—any extra days closed were bad for the bottom line. As she turned toward the back room, there was a tap on the front door. She spotted Gabe in the door window, dressed in his plainclothes.
Harper forced what she hoped was a natural-looking smile to her face and walked over to unlock the door for him.
“Hi,” he said as she pushed the door open.
“Hi.” She swallowed, giving him a nod. “How are you?”
“Good...good...” He smiled tentatively. “Could I come in? I think I need to apologize for last night.”
“Sure.” What was she supposed to say? He was assigned to her shop for her protection, and if things got awkward between them, she couldn’t exactly avoid the man. “But there are no apologies necessary.”
What Harper really meant to say was that talking about that intense moment they’d shared last night was incredibly uncomfortable, and if she could avoid it, she would.
“No?” He eyed her uncertainly. “Look, that was...” He let out a pent-up breath. “I’m not hitting on you.”
“Great.” She wasn’t sure if that was an improvement.
“That doesn’t clear it up,” Gabe said with a small smile. “What I mean is, yes, I find you attractive. More than attractive—gorgeous. I always have. You’re a beautiful woman with a spark that I admire, but...whatever. That’s no excuse.”
Harper licked her lips. “But it wasn’t only you.”
“It wasn’t?” He raised his eyebrows. “You sure about that?”
“I felt it, too,” she admitted, her cheeks heating. “But obviously, we can’t go there.”
“Obviously,” Gabe agreed, but his reaction was a little too quick to not bruise her ego just a little bit. “You’re my daughter’s mother, and I respect that. She needs you—and you and I have to maintain a good relationship for her sake. We can’t just try this on for size and change our minds later without it affecting Zoey.”
“That’s a blessing, in a way. We don’t have some failed romance between us. We’re better for it.”
“And we need to keep it that way,” Gabe said. “I know that, and I won’t...let things get complicated. If that makes you feel any better.”
So they were on the same page—all very good. But it didn’t exactly fix whatever attraction was stewing between them. Maybe time
would do the trick.
“Do you think you upset me?” she asked, only halfway teasing.
“Did I?” he countered.
She shrugged. “I’m a grown woman, Gabe. You aren’t the first handsome man to have made eyes at me.”
“Handsome?” There was a flirtatious dip in his voice and she cast him an exasperated look. “Sorry. Not that it matters.”
Harper shook her head and suppressed a smile. “Attraction doesn’t make a relationship functional, Gabe.”
“Don’t I know it.” He cleared his throat. “How was Zoey? I mean, after meeting me, and all?”
Harper thought back on her morning. “I don’t think she really understands it, truthfully.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” he replied. “She has no expectations.”
“But she will develop a few expectations as she gets older,” Harper countered.
“Yeah, but right now, it might make us getting to know each other a little easier.”
Harper nodded. She had to agree. “Whatever you do, please don’t make any promises you can’t keep.”
“Like what?” he asked.
“I don’t know. It’s just—Zoey’s been through so much this last year in losing her mom, coming to live with me, all the adjustment and grieving...” Harper sighed. “I don’t know how much more disappointment she can take. So just...be careful.”
“Okay.” His gaze warmed as he met hers, and Harper broke the eye contact with a pang of guilt. God had brought Gabe into her path for Zoey’s sake—she was sure of it. She wasn’t going to conflate her own feelings of attraction with God’s will.
There was another tap on the front door, and Harper looked over to see the man from the glass company. He wore a green uniform and gave her a cordial nod when he saw that he’d been noticed.
“He’s here to fix the window,” Harper said, glad for the interruption.
“Yeah?” Gabe frowned, and she could see the cop in him coming back to the surface. He was reserved again, granite. “Let me check his ID and I’ll call the company, just to make sure.”
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