Gabe sank down onto the couch, the old Bible in his hands, and he let it fall open. The pages were brittle and a little tattered. His grandmother had been a Bible marker, and she had other verses noted down next to underlined verses. He leafed through Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, then let it fall shut again.
“It isn’t about her, Lord, it’s about me,” he prayed. “I’m angry. I haven’t forgiven her! I needed her to love me, and she couldn’t do that.”
Tears welled in his eyes, and he put the Bible down.
“I’m trying so hard!” His voice cracked. It had been easier to be a jerk all those years ago. At least he’d just surfed along with his baser instincts. Now that he was trying to live a Christian life, he was fighting those instincts every step of the way.
If he stopped fighting it, he’d drive straight back to Comfort Creek and pull Harper into his arms again. That would be a powerful comfort right about now... But he’d never stay. He couldn’t face that town day in and day out. He couldn’t make a life in the very place where his grandmother had emotionally kicked him around. It was because of his upbringing that he wasn’t emotionally prepared to be a proper father. And very likely, Zoey would grow up resenting him, too, for not being able to be the dad she needed. It was a vicious cycle.
Gabe rose to his feet and sucked in a shaky breath. He glanced at the time on his cell phone. He wanted to call Harper, to hear her voice. He could make an excuse—say he was asking about his daughter, but he didn’t want to toy with Zoey’s feelings, either. She needed a life without complication, and it wasn’t her job to make Gabe feel better.
Zoey had to come first. Her equilibrium mattered a far sight more than his. So he put his phone down, and his gaze moved back toward that battered Bible.
Should he keep it? Give it away to charity? Misused by its original owner or not, that was still a Bible, and he couldn’t bring himself to desecrate it in any way. He bent and picked it up again.
He flipped through the pages once more, and this time stopped toward the end of the Bible in the book of James. A verse had been underlined that caught his eye: “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” Next to it, in his grandmother’s handwriting, was written his name.
Gabe paused, his heart thudding in his chest. When had she written that? Had she actually seen Gabe as a gift from God?
Did she realize it too late, after he’d already left home? Or had she simply been trying to spur herself into better behavior? And maybe his grandmother was no different than he was—ill-suited to raising a child, yet thrust into the role.
Gabe knew one thing for sure—he couldn’t claim to be a Christian while holding on to spite and bitterness. He’d end up no different than his grandmother if he did that.
“Father, help me to forgive her,” he prayed. “I’ve tried so hard, and I can’t do it. I need You to do this for me. Help me to forgive my grandmother for never being enough for me...”
The box lay on the coffee table, and inside was that little Popsicle stick craft. Once upon a time, he’d loved his grandmother, and as he looked at the gobs of glue, the careful printing, that old feeling came rushing back into his heart. A long time ago, he’d loved her with all of his boyish heart, and he’d tried to earn her love in return. Well, she was beyond this earth now, and he realized in a moment that his anger at her was covering over a deeper pain.
“Grandma, I love you.” He wept as tears coursed down his cheeks. “And maybe I don’t need you to love me back anymore.”
His grandmother had been all he had—and loving her hadn’t been a weakness on his part. He’d just been a kid. Loving her still—and disliking her in equal measure—didn’t make him an idiot, either. Grandma Banks had been the one with the problem. Had she done her best with her limitations? He had no idea. Maybe it no longer mattered.
But it wasn’t only his conflicted love for his grandmother that tore at his heart. He’d fallen in love with Harper, and he had a little girl who needed his love, too. And he needed to learn how to give it. His heart was filled with love—aching, piercing love.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above.
Love was the greatest gift of all—the people God put into families. And he and Harper were a family now, albeit an unconventional one. They were tied together by a little girl who’d never asked to be born, but God in His wisdom had created her.
Harper and Zoey were the perfect gifts, and he’d been running from them because he was too broken to see it. In the midst of his pain, God had given him the gift of love so deep that he couldn’t wash it out. God hadn’t left him alone in his pain, after all. But he had to get past his anger and down to real hurt before he could see it. Maybe, just maybe, God had been using his aching heart to bring him back home—to give him the family he’d been running from.
He stood in the center of his living room, his heart pounding in his chest. Gabe knew what he had to do, but it was risk. A big one.
Still, if he didn’t follow his heart this time, he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Not every fundamental instinct was a wrong one. Sometimes, it was God-ordained destiny.
Chapter Fifteen
Harper unlocked the front door to her house and Zoey scampered in ahead of her. It had been another long day at Blessings Bridal, but Heidi was pitching in to give her a hand. Heidi was heartbroken over her split up with Chris, but sisters working together seemed to be more comforting for Heidi than Harper had thought possible. It was helpful for Harper, too. She tried not to talk about Gabe, but she missed him deeply.
Harper wouldn’t admit to feeling anything but tired, but she also didn’t think she hid it very well.
Harper looked out the window to the empty street. Days were shorter now, and across the street she could already see the lights on in the neighbor’s house. Zoey flicked on lights as she went through the living room and into the kitchen.
“Mommy, when is Daddy coming?” Zoey asked.
“He said he’d be here for supper,” Harper replied.
Gabe called yesterday and asked if he could come visit. He had a day off and missed them, he said. She’d agreed, of course, but she knew it would be hard. She was still in love with the man—a detail she’d have to set aside for Zoey’s sake.
“What are we having?” Zoey asked.
“I’m ordering pizza.” It just seemed easier, and Zoey squealed in delight at this announcement. This girl loved a good pizza.
Besides, Harper wasn’t sure she could focus on cooking right now. She’d probably just burn any meal she tried to put together. It was better to keep her wits about her so she wouldn’t make a fool of herself when faced with Gabe again.
Harper sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She and Gabe had talked a few times since he’d left—mostly because they couldn’t quite let go. And she missed his voice, his eyes, the smell of his cologne... She was always checking her phone, wondering if he’d text her, even though they’d both promised not to.
“I’m being stupid,” she told herself aloud.
“What, Mommy?”
“Nothing, Zoey.”
A knock on the door sent Zoey running to open it, and Harper followed a few steps behind. Zoey flung open the door to reveal Gabe standing there with a wrapped package in his hands.
“A present?” Zoey said, eyes wide.
“Say hello first, Zoey,” Harper chuckled.
“Hi. Is that a present?”
Gabe chuckled and handed it to her. “Just something I thought you’d like, kiddo.”
Zoey carried the box a full three feet from the door before she started tearing off the paper. Harper shot Gabe a smile, and he grinned back, the sparkle in his dark eyes making her stomach flip.
“Hi,” she said quietly.
“Same.” She licked her lips and turned her attention to Zoey, who’d just unwrapped a child sized tool belt, complete with a selection of tools.
“Wow, oh, wow, oh, wow!” Zoey breathed. “Tools...”
Harper smiled mistily. Gabe was catching on pretty fast to the whole dad thing. Zoey would be okay, after all.
“What do you say, Zoey?” Harper prompted.
“Thanks, Daddy!” But she didn’t even look up. She was too busy sorting it all out with her nimble little fingers.
Harper looked at Gabe and found his gaze locked on her. He reached over and moved a tendril of hair out of her eyes, then shrugged sheepishly.
“I couldn’t stay away,” he said.
“I’m glad...” But then she stopped herself. She’d promised herself not to do this. Zoey needed a mom and a dad, not two feuding exes. Or a brokenhearted mother who was jealous every time her father dated another woman. None of that was good for Zoey.
“I’m just about to order pizza,” Harper said, forcing a smile. “What kind do you like? Zoey and I normally get pepperoni, but we can be flexible for guests.”
“Pepperoni’s fine, but—” He reached out and caught her hand. “Hold on a second.”
Harper stopped and looked up at him, waiting.
“Here’s the thing, Harper. I missed you. I dreamed of you. Every single waking hour I was trying not to text or call or bother you—” He winced. “I hated this town, but I realized something while I was here.”
“Oh?” she breathed.
“I’m in love with you.”
“We know that,” she replied with a shake of her head. “But it won’t work!”
“And I realized something when I got back to Fort Collins,” he went on. “A chance at happiness doesn’t come every day. I’ve never met a woman who makes me feel like you do. I steered clear of marriage, but with you, I just want to jump in headfirst.”
“I’m a mom,” she reminded him.
“I know. And that’s why I need to man up. I have issues, granted. My grandmother was abusive, but I’ve finally been able to forgive her. I loved her, for all her flaws, and loving again is hard because it risks opening up. It risks...messing up! Making mistakes. Not being the perfect dad.”
Harper had no words, and she stared at him, her breath caught in her throat.
“Harper, first of all, I’m going to promise you something. I’m going to man up. I’m going to face my issues, my childhood, my relationships—all of it—and I’m going to be the man you need me to be. Both of you. I’ve already started facing the hard stuff, and I’ve cried out a lot of that pain, and you know what I found at the bottom?”
Harper shook her head.
“Love.” He smiled gently. “I loved my grandma, even when she hurt me. And I love my daughter, even though I don’t know her very well yet. And I’m desperately, head over heels in love with you.”
“I love you, too, Gabe...”
Gabe leaned over and kissed her lips ever so gently. “Then let’s take a chance—see what we can do if I transfer here to Comfort Creek.”
Harper’s heart skipped a beat and she stared at him in shock.
“What?” she whispered. “You don’t want—”
“I know what I want,” he replied, his tone low and deep. “I want you. I want to marry you, raise our daughter together as a family, and spend the rest of my life convincing you that you made the right choice in taking on a broken cop like me.”
“You want to get married?” she asked in disbelief.
“Eventually, yeah. I’ll move here,” he replied. “I’ll face the hard stuff and I’ll make Comfort Creek the home it should have been all along. I’ve been running from my feelings for too long. I want all of it, Harper. I want a life together, I want to be the kind of father that my daughter needs, and I want to take the first step toward that. What do you say...are you willing to take a chance on me?”
Harper threw her arms around his neck and silenced him with a kiss. His arms twined around her waist, holding her close.
“What happened?” Zoey asked, and Harper pulled back from the kiss to look down at her daughter.
“Daddy’s going to move to Comfort Creek and see a whole lot more of us,” Harper said with a grin.
Gabe pulled her back in for another kiss, and then bent down to scoop up Zoey into his strong arms.
Zoey was silent and thoughtful for a moment, then asked, “Where do I live, then?”
“With me,” Harper said. “But you’ll get to see a whole lot more of your dad, too.”
Harper leaned her head against Gabe’s strong shoulder.
“Pizza?” Zoey asked. “I’m hungry.”
“Tell you what,” Gabe said. “Let’s go out and have a special meal at a restaurant, just us three.” He shot Harper a tender smile. “It’ll be our first date.”
Gabe put down Zoey and she ran for her shoes, and as Harper looked up at this man she’d fallen for, her heart swelled with love.
“Are you sure about this?” Harper asked softly.
“All I need is you,” he replied. “I’ll need you to be here for me when it’s hard, and when I’m sorting through my own stuff. And I want you to tell me when I’m messing up, when I need to do things differently with Zoey. I don’t know how to be a dad or even a potential husband, but I’m going to learn.”
“You’re doing just fine, Gabe.”
“What about you?” he asked, locking his eyes on hers. “Are you sure about this? Do you need some time to think about it?”
She shook her head, tears misting her vision. “I had a list of things I wanted, and then I met you, and—”
“I didn’t tick all of those items off, did I?” he asked ruefully.
“I realized that my list was ridiculous,” she replied with a low laugh. “It didn’t take into account what it would feel like to be in love.”
He loved them, and that was more than enough. Families weren’t made by experts who knew what they were doing—they were the fumbled attempts of people who loved each other enough to keep trying. When they’d been married fifty years, maybe they could count as experts then...but in the meantime, Harper was happy to toss all those expectations of perfection aside and embrace the man who filled her heart.
“Hey, guys!” Zoey stood at the door, her tool belt buckled around her waist and legs akimbo. “Are we going out, or what?”
“We’re going, we’re going,” Harper said with a laugh.
They were starting something today—something beautiful and blessed. She could feel it. God’s timing was always best, and she could feel the rest of the path opening up in front of them. They’d be a family...one step at a time.
Epilogue
On a midwinter weekend, with a fresh layer of snow blanketing the ground, Harper and Gabe got married. Reverend Blake officiated, and Heidi stood as maid of honor. Gabe had Bryce Camden stand for him, and Zoey, of course, was the flower girl.
Harper didn’t wear her grandmother’s dress. She was keeping that dress for Heidi, because while her sister hadn’t found the right guy yet, Harper knew that she would. In faith, she’d cut that dress, and in faith, she was saving it for her sister. Instead, Harper wore her grandmother’s veil and one of the beautiful ball gowns she’d been eyeing all these years—tulle and beading coming together perfectly to accentuate Harper’s slim figure.
The wedding was beautiful, but Harper wouldn’t remember much of it. She remembered little snapshots—like the Camdens sitting together in a pew, Lily holding her sleeping daughter in her arms...or like Sadie Morgan dancing with her husband, the chief of police, and loosening him up like no one else could. And it turned out that Sadie was expecti
ng, after all—and she was now roundly, beautifully pregnant.
Harper’s most vivid memory from her wedding day was Gabe’s toast during the reception. He rose to his feet, looking so handsome and rugged in a tuxedo. The murmur of the guests faded away as everyone turned their attention to the groom.
“When I asked Harper to marry me at Christmas, I knew that wasn’t going to be the end of it,” he said, raising his glass. “She said yes—” he raised his glass to Harper with a wink “—and then I had to talk to her father.”
The guests all laughed at that point, and Gabe shot his new father-in-law a grin. “And I’d like to thank my father-in-law, Allan Kemp, for giving not only his blessing, but a whole lot of advice, too. If I can be half the man he is, I’ll have done well by his daughter. I suggested that I call him Mr. Kemp from now on, but he said I should call him Dad. I never knew my own father, and by marrying Harper I’ve gained more than a wife—I’ve gained parents. So...Dad...Mom...here’s to you.”
Gabe turned then to the Murphys and raised his glass again. “And I’d like to thank Mike and Jane Murphy for their support, as well. They’re my daughter’s grandparents, as you all probably know by now, and they needed a little more convincing.”
There were more chuckles from the guests.
“A few years ago, I let you down in a big way, but you took the time to sit down with me, to listen to me, and after a couple of weeks of long talks, you gave me your forgiveness and your blessing, too. And I’m grateful for that, because this family is important to my daughter, to my wife, and to me, too. I’ve never had a proper family before, and I feel like God has wrapped me up into layer upon layer of family in my marriage to Harper.
“And to my little girl, Zoey.” He smiled down at Zoey, who was seated next to her mother. “I’m marrying your mom, but I’m also promising that I’ll do right by you, too. I didn’t know I was a father until I came to Comfort Creek a few months ago, and discovering you turned my life upside down in the best way possible! You’re my tool-loving princess, and I love you, kiddo. I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but Daddy—that’s my favorite so far!
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