by Anita Gray
“You're not allowed to speak to him,” Charlie says in a chilled, unfazed manner. “This is part of our deal.”
“Huh?” My face scrunches up. “You can't decide that.”
Throwing his head back he bursts out laughing.
My eyes widen with insult. “What the hell are you laughing at?”
“Do you know how confusing you are?” he says once he's done laughing, wiping his watery eyes with one hand. “One minute I think you're so deeply conditioned to Maksim that there's no getting through to you, but then you're rebellious with your cocky attitude, and then you're thawing in my arms as I kiss you-”
A hot flush comes over me at the memory.
“-Now you have a chance to come with me, get away from this life for a while—if you can call this a life—” he casts a hand around the place, “but you don't want to leave?”
I don't know what to say right now so I just look at him.
“What ties you to Maksim?” His thinning eyes search my face, glittering in curiosity. “Tell me, I'm dying to know. I'm almost sure it's not just fear.” He sounds like he's taunting me, goading me into losing my cool, and I am. My blood is boiling.
“You can shout your reasons at me if you want, Blaire. No one will stop you, and I don't mind. I like how feisty you are.”
“If my reasons need explaining, you're more dense than I thought.” I twist my lips, struggling to contain the bubbling explosion going off inside me. Why would I want to leave Maksim when he's all I know? Why's that so hard to understand?
“And as for this life,” I say, unsure of what I'm about to confess, “it's mine, and I like it just the way it is.” I head for the back doors with my hands fisted at my sides, certain he's talking bullshit. Maksim wouldn't barter me. He wouldn't.
“Not so fast.” Charlie's large hand wraps around my upper arm and forces me to an abrupt stop.
“I'm not fucking doing this with you again!” I yank back and forth. “Let me—aargh!” Something sharp stabs me in the side of my shoulder and a cold, dopey feeling rushes through my veins.
Within seconds, my brain goes fuzzy and I fall back in Charlie's arms, my legs buckling under me.
“Wha... what have you done to me...” I say breathlessly, trying to grab my shoulder but my hands are all floppy.
“Shhh... S'all right, Blaire,” he whispers in my ear from behind, stroking my hair back out of my face. “You're gonna be all right.”
The world goes dark.
9
“Take off your clothes, Blaire, or I will,” Charlie says in a deep, low voice. He's staring at me from across the dark bedroom, around fifteen feet away. It's almost too dark to see him, but I can, his tall, broad frame blocking my way to the door. He's standing there prepared for combat, his legs slightly open. He thinks I'll try to fight him and he's right to assume that because I will.
Swaying on my feet, I clutch the bedpost with one hand. I'm trying to gain focus so I can consider if what Charlie told me about Maksim bartering me is the truth but I'm still groggy from whatever he gave me.
I'm not sure it's true—I don't need to be sober to come to that conclusion. I don't think Maksim would trade me for anything. I mean too much to him—or, I thought I did, but here I am.
Maybe I do still mean something to him because Charlie just told me in an attempt to calm me down that Maksim said he's not to ruin me. He doesn't care if they fall out or if Charlie puts a bullet in him, he wants me back alive and in one piece. Then, he insisted one of his best men transports me to this house that feels like it's in the middle of nowhere, refusing Charlie's request to take me himself. Maksim 'apparently' said he wants to know where I'll be, just if anything goes down.
Now, I'm supposed to be here with Charlie Fucking Decena for three months or until he gets bored of me. I don't know how to feel about that. I know nothing of what's going on. I'm not even sure Charlie was telling the truth about Maksim bartering me. I don't trust him.
But again, here I am.
“Go on.” He comes toward me, his feet serious against the wooden floors.
My head is a mazy vapor. I'm so dazed I’m almost stupid, but I'm on my feet, which is what matters. I can fight.
When he reaches me, he tries to get me out of my leather jacket by pushing his fingers in the shoulders. That switch goes off in my head and I weakly grab his wrists but he twists out of my grasp and pins my hands at my sides.
“Just relax,” he says, his breath warming my face. “You must feel light headed.”
Resisting the urge to scream at him, I let my head roll to the side so I can hide in my hair. I wait a moment until his grip on me loosens.
“What did you give me?” I ask, staring into the darkness.
“Just a little something to put you down so you couldn't resist,” he’s still whispering. “But don’t worry, it'll wear off.”
When his hands over mine loosen, I slip out of his grasp and slam my fists into his chest, knocking him back a few steps. I'm strong for a small girl but just pushing him puts me out of breath. I lean into the bedpost on my shoulder. I'm not at full strength and my head is so cloudy. I can't think straight—the last twenty-four hours are like looking into a black hole—but I need my wits about me. I need to assess the situation!
Focus, Blaire, I will myself.
I remember telling Maksim that I cannot get his fifteen minutes, and I remember Charlie kissing me. I remember talking to Charlie in the kitchen and briefly waking up in the back of Maksim's SUV—I know it was Maksim's SUV because I could smell his brut scent. It was dark and the road we were driving along was bumpy. I could still taste Charlie's blood in my mouth.
My eyes widen.
“No,” I breathe out, a lump forming in my throat.
“Blaire?” Charlie hunches down to look at my face hidden behind my hair. “What's wrong? Do you feel ill?”
In a moment of madness, to save my ass from whatever he has planned, I reach for my gun in my jacket pocket, hoping to fucking god he hasn't taken it.
Cold metal against my palm.
Relief sweeps through me.
I pull out my gun, and though it's heavy, I'm sure not to drop it, gripping it with both hands. I lift it high enough to aim at Charlie's head. He's standing there in mute shock.
“Where the fuck are we?” I say, clicking back the hammer, blinking rapidly.
He points a long finger at me, warning, “Put down the gun, Blaire.”
“You didn't anticipate I'd have this, did you?” My voice is the wrong side of confident but I'm not confident. I have no idea what is happening. “Didn't you think to pat me down?”
His nostrils flare. He's still stunned—I can see that much. Good.
“Where the fuck are we!?!” I scream, tearing my throat to shreds.
He doesn't say anything, so we watch each other for a moment, the atmosphere thick with tension. I'm not sure who is the prey—inside, I feel it's me. I'm shitting myself.
Charlie walks right into the barrel of the gun, hunches down and presses it to his forehead. “Do it,” he hisses out, his teeth clenched, “or give me the gun, Blaire.”
I freeze, knowing I cannot actually shoot him—I'm just trying to scare him. I don't really know who he is yet, or how important he is to others, so I cannot be sure people won't come looking for him if he goes missing, and I cannot risk the blame landing on Maksim, even if he has betrayed me.
I hold Charlie's unnatural blue gaze. He's not at all afraid. I am. I'm fucking anxious because I know he's going to abuse me for the next few months. Maksim clearly cannot stop him. He took me from Maksim's house and doesn't seem to have a scratch on him.
“Go on, Blaire,” he says gently this time, “shoot me.”
“If I don't, you're going to do terrible things to me.”
He nods, making the gun move in my grasp. “You're right. I am.” There's something in his voice like vengeance. Wrapping his long fingers around the gun, he holds it in place. “Do it!” he y
ells, making me jump in my skin. “Fucking do it if you want to do it!”
“Shit...” exhaling shakily, I let go of the gun and he throws it over by the door. It lands with a heavy bump that makes me flinch.
Charlie then grabs me around the arms, imprisoning me with all his strength. I stiffen in his hold, panting heavily, trying to gather my wits.
He doesn't do anything right away. He's just holding me in place, looking down on me.
“I need to speak to Maksim,” I say, lifting my eyes to his.
Charlie quietly scans my face, his expression unreadable—or to me his expression is unreadable. I'm so dizzy.
“I need to ask him something. I need to speak to him!” I yell in Charlie's face and it makes me dizzier.
“What for?” he says. “Permission?”
I nod in a floppy state. He's right, I do need permission. I can't do this—whatever this is—without Maksim's permission.
“Are you gonna let me take off your jacket?”
Give and take... is that what this is all about?
I can let him take off my jacket if it means I can talk to Maksim. I need to talk to Maksim!
I nod again in a weak manner, and as his hands draw down my arms, he pulls off my jacket. Leaning past me, he lays it over the foot of the bed, then steps back.
He's quiet again. I can't fucking stand it. His silence seems to magnify his presence.
“Can I speak to Maksim?” I say, wavering under that powerful stare of his. “Please, Charlie?”
More silence...
I try to convince myself that I can see pity in Charlie's eyes as he studies me, but it's a lie my mind has conjured up. This man doesn't pity me.
“Charlie?” I snap, balling my hands. I'm on the verge of losing the plot.
He pulls a mobile out of his jeans back pocket, dials someone, and passes it to me. With a rickety hand, I take it and put it to my ear.
“What's the problem, my friend?” Maksim's husky Russian voice almost breaks me. “Having trouble taming-”
“Cэp Maksim,” I whisper, cutting him off, squeezing the phone in my grasp.
“My little pet, are-are you okay?” he sounds worried. “What's happened? Please do not tell me you have done something to Charlie Decena...”
“No. He's-he's here.” I glance up at Charlie, who is watching me intently, then I turn my back on him, holding the bedpost with one hand so I don't topple over. “Cэp Maksim, what-what am I doing here with Charlie?”
“Did he not tell you?”
“Yes,” I say with hesitation. “He-he says-”
“You are to fulfill Charlie's needs without ruining your virtue, complete the job when he needs you to shut down London's CCTV system, and only that job, and return home to me alive and well in no more than three months time.” Every word he says is like punching me in the chest. “Is that clear?”
“You want me to...” I blink into oblivion, swallowing past the lump in my throat. “He's allowed to touch me?”
“Yes, my little pet.” There's a long pause before he elaborates, “He can do whatever he likes to you as long as he doesn't take your virginity or kill you. Also, he doesn't want you to respect him as you do me. He wants you to decide for yourself, for whatever good it will do.”
I cup my face in one hand. My head is hurting. “I'm so confused.”
“Don't be confused, my little pet. Do not fight him. Just do your jobs and come home to me.”
His words echo while my world narrows. He can do whatever he likes to you as long as he doesn't take your virginity or kill you.
Charlie was telling the truth. Maksim has bartered me!
“No... No—please, I'm sorry,” I squeeze out every word, gripping the phone so tight my fingers ache. “I'm sorry if I've been bad the past few years. I'm sorry for... Maybe if I come back and-and live with you at the house, it will help? I'll be good. I swear!”
There's nothing but silence.
“Cэp Maksim?Cэp Maksim, are you there?”
I check the screen, shaking so hard I almost drop the phone. It's dark. He's hung up the call.
“No...” the ability to breathe abandons me.
I'm not ready to let him go!
I try to call him back—to beg for my life—but Charlie takes the phone off me.
“No!” I scream, trying to snatch it out of his grasp but he pins me to the bedpost with one arm over my chest. “Let me go!” I grip his wrist with both hands, trying to pries him off but his body is too powerful. “I’m not finished talking to him!”
“You are.” He shoves his phone in his jeans back pocket. “He just told you what you have to do.”
“No. he-he didn't clarify.” I'm shaking now, and Charlie is so close that I can smell the clean, sweet-musky scent of his skin. I wish he'd back the fuck up so I can think!
“Why-why didn't he tell me this in person at his house? Why did you have to drug me? I... I would have come willingly if Maksim told me too. I would have-”
“I don't want you having anything to do with him until I'm done with you, that's why he didn't tell you himself.”
“But... that doesn't make any sense.” I shake my head to get rid of this vertigo. “You just let me talk to him, and if... if you let him give me my orders, you-you wouldn't have had to drug me.”
“I'm not gonna keep going over this, Blaire,” his voice deepens with authority as he says that, determined to get off the subject. “When I decided I wanted you, I told him there and then to stay away until your time with me is up—he knows better than to go against my word. He warned me you'd resist, so I drugged you, and now you're here with me for three months,” he shrugs, “get used to it.”
That's hard to digest—I can't imagine not speaking to my master for three months—so I try to focus on what I have to do.
“What do you...” I start to say. “What... What can I do...” My mind is too chaotic. I don't even know what question to ask. Why did he just let me speak to Maksim if he doesn't want us to have any contact?
“Don’t be frightened,” Charlie whispers, cupping my face with his free hand, “I’m not gonna hurt you.”
“Liar,” I snap like a child, and he stands back, releasing me from the rule of his body. “You just admitted that you're going to do terrible things to me.”
I'm all for a bit of sadism. I can't stop myself from thinking about when Charlie said that at the Prince’s party.
Hunching down, he puts us at eye level. “If you misbehave, then yes I will hurt you.”
I sink into my shoulders, shooting him a daggering glare. “What have I ever done to make you want to hurt me? What have I ever done to make you want to do this to me?”
There's a moment of visual power exchange. I don't think he likes that I just asked him that. He sighs, blinking at me, his temple ticking. It's there again, that mirage facade of pity. I wish it was real so I could use it to my advantage.
“Look,” he says softly, glancing between my eyes, “I won't hurt you beyond what you can handle—you have my word on that—and if you want me to stop at any point, all you have to do is say, ‘stop’. Okay?”
Stop? Is he fucking kidding me?
“You know I can’t tell you to stop,” I hiss in his face. “I'm not allowed to.”
“Here,” he points at the ground between us, “with me, you can do whatever you like. All you have to do is open your mind.”
With one push, he knocks me back onto the bed and I fall with a bounce.
———
Charlie grabs the hem of my t-shirt and tugs it up over my head, leaving me in my black sports bra and sports trousers, my dark red hair pouring around me.
I do nothing. I just sit there looking at the floor, obeying Maksim, thought after thought romping through my mind. He can't actually have sex with me, but that just makes the whole thought process worse, because I have no idea how he's planning on getting his kicks.
I imagine a beating is on the cards tonight. Men like him
enjoy doing that.
When Charlie backs up a few feet, I can't help peering up at him. He smiles down on me, tossing my Tee to the side.
“What is it?” he whispers, as I stare at him.
“Maksim told me to fulfill your needs,” I say, striving to gather my courage, “wha-what do you want?”
Silence, and he's just looking at me like he wants to devour my soul, diminishing my courage.
I crawl back across the bed on my elbows to put some more space between us, my heart roaring in my ears.
“Well-” says Charlie finally, tilting his head; he's not wearing a ponytail tonight, “-I want to fuck you.”
My entire body shudders with anxiety.
When my naked back touches the cold wooden headboard, I shut my eyes and hug my middle, complying with Maksim's command not to fight. What's the fucking point? Either Maksim or Charlie is going to abuse me. I might as well accept the latter.
“You're like a beautiful, wild little wolf,” Charlie says.
I don't utter a word to that, and it's quiet again. I can hear Charlie's heavy breathing over the blood roaring in my ears, but nothing else. The house feels so quiet.
The minutes creep by and nothing happens. Why is nothing happening?
Eventually, I have to open my eyes to look at him standing there at the foot of the bed, mentally beckoning him to get a fucking move on.
“What are you thinking?” he says, his eyes tapering with wonder.
Is that why he's taking so long? He wants to get in my mind?
“You're not allowed to take my virginity,” I warn, and I'm stunned by how even my voice comes out.
“So I'm told.” His blue eyes check me out from head to toe, and he's smiling to himself. It's like he's mentally taking off the rest of my clothes.
Fuck, I hate that. It's so personal. I wish he'd just get it over and done with rather than longing it out and making me more uneasy than I already am.
As I blink away from Charlie, trying to center my thoughts on anything else but this, he rounds the bed, his eyes on me the entire time. I hide in my hair curtaining my small frame, hugging my middle to the point where I almost can't breathe.