by Anita Gray
The shock that comes over me is overwhelming. “You stole me from my parents?”
He smiles like a dark angel, as if to say yes.
“Where are they?” I swallow past the growing lump in my throat. “My parents, where are they?”
“Dead,” he says without hesitation, unbothered by the fact.
“What?” My heart twists. Any hope I had of finding them shatters right there.
“Did... did you kill them?” I swear, if he did, I'm not sure I won't slaughter him right now.
“No,” he says, and I'm swamped with relief. “Your father died two years ago from a natural illness, and your mother...” There's a long, intense pause. “She followed a few months later—maybe of a broken heart.” He laughs with sarcasm after saying that, like the idea is weak and pathetic.
Perhaps it is pathetic but I think I understand. If you love someone so much and can't live without them, why not die of a broken heart? It's seems as good a way to go as any.
“Where did you take James from?” I want to find this out for my friend. Maybe he still has someone out there who's looking for him, who loves him.
“Fuck James,” Maksim hisses, and I know he won't spill his guts. “Where I took him from is none of your business.
“How long have you known I didn't buy you from a man in Russia, Blaire?”
I keep my mouth shut about how long I've known and how I know.
“He told you...” Maksim spits out, “...Charlie Fucking Decena.”
My heart goes a little faster at the mention of Charlie. I should never have left him.
“Don’t look at me with those doe eyes because I said his name! He’s been using you, you stupid girl. Whatever you feel for him isn’t real, and he doesn’t care about you either.” Maksim taps his own chest, lifting his chin in a pompous manner. “He’s been using you to get back at me.”
“Lies,” I say through gritted teeth, absolutely sure. “Charlie does care about me.”
“No, my little pet. I am not lying. He doesn’t.” Maksim falls silent for a few seconds, watching me in scrutiny, and then asks, “Did he tell you that he’s had the map of the bank vault since the day he bought you from me? That he’s been ready for the London job for almost three months now?”
I blink at him, screwing up my face, and he nods.
No... I asked Charlie about what was going on with the job and he said it’ll happen when it happens. I asked him the first night we had dinner together. He didn’t say anything about a map—didn’t even tell me he was waiting on one.
“He held off on the job for a reason,” Maksim tips his head, “and do you know why?”
Shaking from head to toe in anger, I say, “I don’t give a shit why.” I can’t even think about the reasons why. I don’t want to consider that Maksim is telling the truth. Charlie does! care about me. He does!
“You and me,” I point at the ground between us, cuddling my breasts in one arm, “we’re done.”
“What?” Maksim’s eyes enlarge with horror.
Running on adrenaline, I stagger past him and up a few steps to grab my mobile. I switch it on with fumbling fingers, trembling impatiently as it loads up.
“What are you doing?” Maksim says from the bottom of the staircase. “Blaire!”
When my mobile screen blinks white at me, signaling it's ready, I call Charlie. I choose him. I should have chosen him all along.
His phone rings a few times, while Maksim is shouting, “What are you doing!?! Who are you calling?”
“Shut up!” I yell with all the force my body will allow, moaning against the pain in my back. “Just shut up.”
“Blaire?” Charlie says on answering.
“Yes,” I whimper his name in relief, desperate to go to him. “Come get me, please? I don’t want to be here.”
“What's going on?” I can hear he's in the car, the engine roaring with speed. “Is he still at your place?”
“Ask him,” Maksim whispers, nodding a couple of times. “Go on, my little pet. Ask him.”
“Yes,” I say to Charlie, holding Maksim’s golden gaze the entire time. “He is here. He’s-” I go quiet, and I’m not sure if my master is fucking with my mind, but I suddenly can’t focus on anything other than the need to know if Charlie really has had the map of the bank vault for all this time, so I ask. “Don’t lie. Just tell me.”
I hear the car pull over to a sharp, screeching stop.
“Blaire,” Charlie says my name with caution, “listen to me, I dunno what he's told you, but-”
My heart splits in two. Maksim is telling the truth. I know it. I can sense it in Charlie’s voice.
“Told you,” Maksim says, fueling my fire.
“Just give it to me straight!” I scream in frustration down the phone, but then I whimper in pain, my back feeling stretched out. “I’m sick of lies, Charlie.”
“Don’t trust his word,” Maksim says, coaxing me. “He will lie his way out of this. He knows you care about him. He will use that to his advantage.”
I’m scowling at Maksim, furious and heartbroken that he might be right again.
“Tell me, Charlie!” I scream, my voice breaking.
“All right, all right,” he says warily. “Just calm down and I'll tell you.” There's a moment of unsure silence, his breathing heavy down the speaker, then he confesses, “Yeah, I’ve had the map for months.”
“No...” I gasp, having to grab my stomach because it feels like there’s a sharp knife in me. I’m physically in tatters because of what Maksim did to me but inside... The emotional pain hurts a lot more. “Why didn’t you-”
“I used you to get back at that bastard, okay? And I held off on the job just in case I needed a reason to send you home early. Fuck...!” he says the one thing I never thought he would and my stomach twists in more pain. “I served four fucking years in a Russian jail because of him.”
Agonizing silence. No one says a word for a moment, but then I want to know why Charlie ended up in jail. I search Maksim’s face as I ask, expecting him to tell me. He doesn’t. He’s as impassive as ever, standing there with his arms hanging by his sides.
“We did a bank job,” Charlie says, “it went wrong and I was the only person with thekahunas to hold off the police chase. Maksim told me not to worry, that if I got caught, he’d get me out of jail, but he lied about how much control he had over his government, and I was forced to serve my sentence.”
“He-he left you in jail?”
“Yeah, he did,” Charlie says, “so I bided my time—used the time you and I had together to break you down, to make you fall for me so I... so I could teach Maksim a lesson.” He hesitates once more, I imagine gutted that he has to tell me all this. “I wanted you to hate him. I’ve wanted you to hate him for so long...”
It’s anguish to know he really was using me. Of course I’ve suspected all along but hearing it...
“When you said you wanted me from the moment you saw me...” I have to squeeze out every word because my throat is restricted with burning tears. Does he really care about me? Has he ever?
“Course I fancied you—you're a pretty girl—but I won't lie. I had an agenda, and that was to turn you against Maksim because I'd heard from every person in his inner circle that you were his most valued possession—his Achilles' heel.” Every word he says is like taking a slug to the gut. “Then I was going to send you back to torment him, whether it be physically or mentally, and I was going to leave feeling satisfied that the four years I spent in jail were redeemed. Losing you is worth far more than four years, trust me, I know...”
I’m not moved by his sweet nothing. I’m too hurt.
“Why didn't you just kill him, Charlie?” I say, striving to control this possessing urge to cry. It's the most obvious question. If Charlie is so powerful in this world and feared by so many, why not just kill Maksim and be done with it?
“He’s too calculating for that,” Maksim butts in, and I look down on him. “He fan
cies darker things than I do, Blaire—four years of revenge has satisfied him nicely, I will bet.”
“Death is too easy,” Charlie says eventually, sighing with aggravation. “And that motherfucker knows it—expected it.”
I'm sure Maksim did. It must have come as a surprise when Charlie asked to hire me, instead of putting a gun to his head.
“None of that matters to me now, Blaire—you have to believe me. I don't give two fucks about Maksim or what he did to me anymore. I just want you. I'm so in love with you it's insane.”
“You could have told me all this, Charlie.” My voice is breaking with tears. I feel like I can’t breathe properly. “All those times we talked in the kitchen... And you sent me home? Did you send me home to torment him, as you planned?”
“No! I told you I didn't want you to go!” he yells that with such passion, desperate to convince me. “Don't you get that?Iwant to take care of you—give you anything and everything you desire...” I hear him punch something, probably the steering wheel. “Please, don’t let him do this. I fucking care about you, Blaire! How many times do I have to tell you?”
I can feel the urgency in him—I believe him. He does care about me... And that's all I need to hear, that he loves me. If his plan was to make me hate Maksim and leave me here to torment him, he wouldn't be asking me to come back.
“I do get that,” I croak out. It's crazy how I trust him so explicitly, but he's... he's Charlie.
Keeping a suspicious eye on Maksim, who's now practically blowing steam because he can see that I’m weak to his adversary’s spell, I again tell Charlie that I want him to come and get me, that I can't live like this anymore. “I don't want to be with Maksim. I want to be with you.”
Charlie exhales down the speaker. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that.”
James... He pops into my mind.
“Can James come with us? Please, I can't leave him here.”
“If that's what you want, baby,” he says, and I hear that he's smiling. “I'll be with you in less than an hour—I'm already half way to London. Put that fuck down if you have to and leave your apartment. Don't pack anything. Just meet me by the river.”
“What about James? I don’t know where he is...”
“Don’t worry. I’ll have my men get a hold of him. Just get away from Maksim.”
A great sense of hope makes me smile, even through my tears. I should never have doubted him. I know he truthfully cares about me.
“Okay,” I whisper, nodding to myself, “I'm going to leave and wait for you by the river.”
“No you're not!” Maksim dashes up the staircase then. I kick him back down, knocking myself over in the process. I drop my mobile to grip the banister rails, gasping out in pain as I bump down a few steps.
Glancing back on instinct, I see Maksim unfolds his tall body from the floor and slowly gets to his feet, the look of the devil in his eyes. His hair is ruffled and his bottom lip is bleeding. Thick claret slithers down his smooth chin, dripping on the collar of his white shirt.
“You've gone too far, my little pet,” he says, his lips thin as they curl against his teeth. “I feared this day would come—the day you feel something other than the need to protect me—but this is beyond the latter.”
“And whose fault is that?” I say through gritted teeth.
I reach for my mobile because I can hear Charlie yelling something, but then I see Maksim pointing a shiny silver gun at me.
I go cold in place, lifting my hands in defense, my mobile in one.
“Put the phone down, Blaire, and I mean it.” He clicks back the hammer, gripping the weapon in both hands.
“You wouldn't dare,” I say, holding his golden iron stare.
“No?” He laughs at me, the skin around his eyes crinkling.
“No.” I gain strength on my feet, and while my back is killing me, I lift my chin with nerve. “You won't do it,” I say, almost sure. “You need me more than I need you.”
“Oh, Blaire, if you are lost to me, then what use are you to me?” there's something like sadness in his voice. “I'd rather you were dead than leave me for that Latin fuck!”
“Drop the gun, Maksim,” someone says from the open front door. “You shoot her and I'll blow a fucking hole in you.”
I whip my head in that direction, as does Maksim. It's James! He's stalking in across the kitchen space holding a long gun in both his hands.
“No...” Maksim growls like a dog, his golden eyes blazing. “How dare you even think about pulling a gun on me!?!”
James isn't fazed by Maksim's disappointment and anger toward him, but I'm suddenly so terrified for my friend that I don't know what to do. When it boils down to it, James won't shoot. He can't. We're not wired that way.
“Ten years I've spent on you both and look at yourselves.” Maksim screws up his nose, shaking his head. “Blaire is a lovesick puppy for my enemy and you're pointing a gun at me? You should be ashamed!”
James walks up behind Maksim and points the gun at the back of his head. “You steal us from our childhood beds and we should be ashamed?”
“You too?” I say, my stomach flipping. “You know what happened to us?”
“Oh yeah,” James nods at me, “I know everything, especially the fact that you're my little sister.” He jabs Maksim with the gun, knocking him forward a step.
My face drops, and I stare in mute shock.
James is my brother...
I grab my mouth, barely believing what I'm hearing.
I had a whole family!
“How do you know?” I say.
“You were gone for months, Blaire, I had to find you, so I broke into his office and found the files he has on us. Have you told her why she can't remember anything before you?” James prods Maksim with the gun again. “He used a Chinese experimental drug on us called Wángjí. It literally means 'forget' in traditional Chinese.”
I'm not surprised by that. I have often wondered why I can't remember a thing past Maksim.
Our master isn't saying a thing, just standing there at gunpoint, shaking from head to toe with pure wrath.
“Ten years you've stolen from us,” James says, tormenting him by poking him with the gun. “Ten years we could have been with our parents and now they're dead!”
The way Maksim glares up at me... I really, really fear for James now. I've no idea why—he's the one with all the power at the moment. But Maksim's face... If looks could kill...
“You have to leave,” I say to James. “I-I don't want anything happening to you too.”
James slowly shakes his head at me. “I won't let him hurt you anymore. I've done my best to prevent him from sexually abusing you but not enough to stop him from hurting you. I won't let him hurt you anymore,” he repeats, as if it's all he cares about in the world. “I won't!”
*BANG*
A flash of spitting yellow, and then a sharp pain jolts through me, making my entire body quake.
“No...!” James yells.
*BANG*
*BANG*
A moment of total quietness follows.
I feel like I'm floating.
In the distance I can hear someone screaming. I think it's James. I think he's in pain. I can also hear Maksim screaming, saying this is our fault. “If neither of you broke protocol, none of this would be happening!”
Pressing one hand to my own stomach, I touch a small wound, soaking my fingers in warm, thick liquid—blood.
He did it. He shot me.
My body plummets to the ground.
32
It's like watching something in slow motion, life actually flashing before my eyes, just like they say it does. I remember the first time someone whipped me to the point where my flesh ripped open.
I am on all fours against a damp, concrete floor. My body is buzzing with a doped-up-confused sensation. I can't remember my own name or how old I am, but I'm young. A man is telling me that if I call for Maksim, he'll stop t
he beating.
Wa-tch!
He strikes, forcing me to arch to evade the next blow.
This is the first time I truly need my master.
“Maksim!” I beg for him and he comes; pushes open the heavy door to my cell and lets in a tunnel of light.
After this day, I start to recognize his presence as protection. When he begins beating me himself, I recognize it as punishment, nothing more, so I try to be good.
“Your name is 'Blaire' when you are in trouble and 'my little pet' when you are not.” Maksim is crouched down in front of me, looking into my eyes as he brainwashes me. “Anything before now doesn't exist.”
The memory of being strapped down on a chair pulls me in. My eyes are taped open. my arms are hooked up to wires and machines that read my pulse. There's a television hanging on the wall in front of me but it's blank white. I cast a troubled glance around. My cell is dark and cold, causing my breath to mist the air. It smells like piss and something stale.
Image after image flickers across the television screen, attaining my attention. It's a story about a girl who will do anything to defend her master. She's holding a sword in one hand and a gun in her other, symbolism that she's a warrior. She's me: long red hair, wearing a black combat outfit. Her master stands there at her side with pride, one hand on her shoulder. He's smiling just like Maksim does, as if he has a hidden agenda.
The images turn into a video. She slices open throats with one clean swipe of her sword, punishment for those who have done her master wrong. She cuts out hearts to prove that she does not have one.
“She's no longer responsive to fear,” Maksim says. He un-cuffs me from the chair, peels the tape off my eyes and stares at my deadpan face. “Perfect.”
Charlie... I suddenly think of him. I visualize I'm smiling at him, reaching out to touch him but he's just too far away. He is the muse of my affections. I don't think I've ever cared so much about someone in all my life.