Mason winked at Lisa over Katie’s head. “No bath, just some fun in the water. You want to be able to swim in the big pool, don’t you?” he asked, lifting Katie into his arms.
“Yeah, I love the pool,” Katie said, a businesslike look on her tiny face. “I swim.”
“That’s great. We’ll start with a splash session in the tub,” Mason said, making his way down the hall to the foot of the stairs. “Coming, Lisa?”
“So Peter’s father is an expert on bathing children,” she murmured.
“If you’d been willing to babysit my nieces and nephews with me, you’d have seen up close and personal just what an expert I am on kid-related activities.”
Having Katie now, she wished she had gone to babysit with him, or at least tried to. Having him back in her life reminded her of the jokes they’d shared, the barbecues for two they’d held in his backyard, the long conversations. But most of all, she could still feel his arms around her as they finished cleaning up in the kitchen, the way he kissed her neck as his hands explored her body.
With Katie peering over his shoulder at Lisa, they went upstairs.
“Hold her while I run the tub and get the show under way. Do you have baby shampoo?” he asked as they entered the oversize bathroom with the giant Jacuzzi tub.
“Right there.” She pointed to where all the personal-care products were lined up at the back of the tub.
“I should have known. Are these alphabetized?”
“And what if they are?” she said, raising her eyebrows. In the past, he’d never missed an opportunity to make fun of her need for order, everything from making lists to organizing cupboards.
Sitting on the bench beside the tub, she eased Katie out of her clothes while she watched Mason get the bath ready.
Lisa wasn’t sure who was clinging to whom as she tried to adjust Katie’s tiny body against hers before she knelt in front of the tub.
“Here, let me help you,” he said, holding out his arms.
His hands touched hers as he took Katie from her and her body warmed in response to the wet heat of his skin. In the intimacy of her bathroom, she couldn’t look at him, couldn’t let him see how much something as casual as his touch affected her.
“Okay, Katie. Let’s show Dolphin how it’s done,” he said, lowering her into the water and picking up a little rubber dolphin to play with.
For a moment she howled in protest, and Lisa was sure they were in for another round of Katie calling for her mother.
“Can you swim like the dolphin?” he asked, racing the toy through the water to delighted squeals from Katie.
Leaning over the tub in such close proximity to Mason, all she could think about was how close his arms were to hers as he gently splashed Katie. His tenderness and the way he related to Katie made Lisa’s breath catch in her throat.
The man being so gentle with Katie was in such contrast to the one who had faced danger as a police officer, and who loved the speed of a motorcycle.
A flood of need, visceral and undeniable, swept through her. She had to get up, get out, away from him, do anything but succumb. “Time to get out, sweetie.”
“No!” Katie yelled, slapping the water with both hands.
“Please,” Lisa said, placing her hands around Katie’s slippery body. Just as Lisa got a good grip on her, Katie twisted free and slipped facedown in the water.
“Oh, no,” Lisa moaned, trying to get a firm handle on the struggling child, who popped up out of the water, screaming.
“Pick her up,” Mason yelled over the din. “Like this,” he said, holding his hands around Lisa’s as he helped lift the crying child from the tub.
Attempting to quiet her, she patted Katie’s back and snuggled her.
“Here, try putting the towel around her so you don’t get soaked through.” Mason placed the towel around Katie’s shoulders, his fingers brushing Lisa’s breasts.
Red heat crawled over her face, but he didn’t seem to notice as he returned his attention to the tub, removing the toys and pulling the plug.
It was a simple task and he did it with such ease, his broad shoulders within her reach. The intimate way he glanced back at her as he wrung out the face-cloth and put it on the edge of the tub added to the feeling of warmth and coziness.
She and Mason had spent so many ordinary days together, doing what any couple would do, but none of those moments had felt quite like this.
She loved the way Mason cared for her new family. And despite his earlier grumpiness over what she’d taken on, in her heart she realized that Mason would always support her.
For the past five years, she’d wondered if they’d ever be part of each other’s life again.
They were for now, but if he moved to L.A. they’d face another separation—this time a permanent one.
In the meantime, they were friends, a much safer connection, and one she could handle.
LISA HOLDING A CHILD in her arms… How many times had he imagined this scene as part of their marriage? He was filled with a sense of loss so powerful it took his breath away. He’d wanted to have children with this woman, and she’d been unable, for reasons he’d never entirely understood, to agree.
“Now, we’re ready for clean clothes,” Lisa said, nuzzling Katie’s cheek. As he followed them to Katie’s bedroom, he couldn’t help noticing how quickly Lisa had taken to motherhood. As she dressed Katie in purple shorts and matching top, his mind drifted back to the evening they broke up.
He’d been shocked at first by her response. Shock had turned to anger, at himself and at the world in general. In retrospect, he’d just assumed she was aware he wanted children, but more importantly, that she would naturally want them, as well. His vision of their life together had been smashed by her refusal to even discuss the issue of children.
He’d held on to his anger for five long years. But when Lisa picked Katie up and turned to him, he forgot all about it. Despite everything that had happened between them, he still wanted to be with her….
But he’d never again make the mistake of assuming that she wanted what he wanted.
As they stood shoulder to shoulder, his arms ached to hold her, to feel her warmth, to kiss her. He leaned toward her, hoping she’d glance up at him. When she did, her eyes met his, her lips parted. If he kissed her now, it would be more than a kiss between friends. And with his uncertain future, he had no right to get involved with her. He’d walked out on her before and hurt her. He wouldn’t do it again.
They’d lost so much that night he’d insisted children be part of their marriage plans. She had refused and he’d walked out. But what choice did he have? He couldn’t face a life without children.
He smiled ruefully. That was why he’d have to make some major changes now or he’d face exactly that. A life without his son.
“What’s that smile about?” she asked.
Trying to ease the confusion roaring through him, he said, “I believe you’re better at parenting than you thought.”
She lifted Katie higher up in her arms. “Maybe, but it’s all so new.” She kissed Katie’s curls and Mason’s heart leaped in his chest at the sight and at the feelings of loss charging through him.
“You’ll be fine,” he said, searching for an excuse to leave, to get the hell out before he said something she wasn’t ready to hear.
“Thanks for everything,” Lisa said, letting Katie down.
They stood so close he noticed the faint line of freckles on her nose. “Anytime.”
Regardless of what might have been, or what he felt about her behavior that night, the one fact he had to accept was that he’d never gotten over her.
The shameful truth was that he’d married Sara because she was pregnant and not out of love.
UNABLE TO CALM her racing pulse at the stark intensity she’d seen in his eyes, Lisa stood waiting for Mason to move away. She’d never had a connection to him like this, a connection she couldn’t identify. Was it the moment with Katie? Their experie
nce of caring for a little girl who needed them?
Her body warmed at a sense of being whole, of feeling a part of something special. Something she shared with Mason. As they stood near to each other, Lisa felt the old yearning to talk about what had happened between them.
But Mason wasn’t the kind of man who spent time on self-examination, and in her experience he’d never once reconsidered a decision.
His fingers touched her chin. “I should get back to the office,” he murmured, his lips inches from hers. “I enjoyed every minute.”
“I did, too,” she said, waiting for his mouth to take hers.
Instead, he scooped Katie into his arms, kissed her cheeks and tousled her hair. “See you soon, Katie,” he said, passing her to Lisa. Before she could respond, he was out of the room and heading down the stairs.
She lifted Katie up for a piggyback ride, then followed Mason down to the sunroom. She heard him say goodbye to her mother.
“Wait for us,” she called, jostling Katie as she tried to catch up with him.
His tall frame was silhouetted by the sunlight glinting off the surface of the pool, and when she caught up with him, she saw that the teasing look was back in his eyes. Teasing looks she could deal with, but just to be sure, she moved to a safe subject.
“How’s business?” she asked, sliding Katie to the floor.
“Going well. In fact, I’m busy enough that I might not be able to check on your progress for a few days.”
Disappointment lurked in the corner of her mind. “You make it sound like I’m an experiment.”
“You could say that,” he said, giving her a once-over she felt right down to her toes.
“Should I be happy about my new role? As an experiment, I mean.” She smiled, trying to keep the conversation light and impersonal, while she recognized how much she’d miss him.
He’s not going to Siberia… But he may be going to L.A. “Tell you what,” she added. “When you’ve got time, why don’t we set a playdate for Peter and Katie? I’d love to meet Peter and get to know him.”
His eyebrows jumped. “A date for the kids.”
Did he think she was using Katie as a way to see him? “It’s only a suggestion…if you’d like to.”
With a hint of a smile, he said, “That would be wonderful. The kids will have a great time. And, Lisa, I’m glad to see this change in you…around children, I mean. I’ll call you later this evening. Peter would love to play in the pool. Why don’t you walk out to the car with me and we can discuss it?”
Surprise filtered through her. Was he going to talk about how she’d changed and what that meant to him? Or was he going to tell her what he’d decided to do about L.A.? Did she want to know right now—and possibly ruin the day?
She glanced back toward the sunroom where her mother and Katie were working on a puzzle, her mother’s gray hair a sharp contrast to Katie’s lighter curls. It was a scene she’d never expected to see in her lifetime, and she’d had no idea how much she’d love it.
She couldn’t influence Sara and Mason’s decision. Deep down she knew Mason couldn’t stay in Durham without Peter. So that settled it—if Sara did indeed go to California, as seemed likely. Today wasn’t a day for bad news. Tomorrow or next week would be soon enough.
“Can we talk later? I really need to get Katie’s snack, and Mom needs to lie down for a rest.”
“Whatever you say.” Holding the back door open, he gazed down at her. “But we do need to talk soon.”
The roar of his sports car as he pulled out of the driveway punctuated her sense of foreboding.
CHAPTER NINE
SHE HADN’T SEEN MASON for three days and she’d missed him. How easily her life had begun to revolve around him, the old pattern reasserting itself. She had to admit she wanted to be with him, but there was still so much between them—both old and new problems. Still, when Mason had called to set up the playdate, she’d eagerly accepted. She’d shopped for food, a bathing suit and made sure Katie was properly outfitted. And now that the day was here, Lisa was excited.
She’d never met Peter, but she was certain that he and Katie would have fun together.
Lisa woke up, listening for any sound of Katie. Lisa’s mornings were so different now with two people in the house who needed and loved her. Feeling contented and relaxed for the first time since her mother’s death, she got up and tiptoed to Katie’s room.
“Oh, you’re awake,” she said, seeing Katie peeking through the railing of the crib.
“I want up,” Katie said, holding her arms out to Lisa, who eagerly gathered her close. This was the best part of Lisa’s day—standing here holding Katie, feeling the little arms tighten around her neck as she snuggled, still not fully awake.
Last night after Lisa cuddled with Katie in her bed, she’d been able to put Katie in her crib, and the child had slept there all night.
“Are you hungry? What about French toast?”
Katie nodded enthusiastically.
After breakfast, Lisa prepared the lunch that she’d serve when Mason and Peter arrived. She checked on Katie, who was playing with her stuffed animals, organizing them on the kitchen table and chattering away to them. It was clear from the conversation—which included their responses—that Katie had a lively imagination.
Lisa’s mother was sitting on the lounge near the pool, reading and resting. It filled Lisa with pleasure and a sense of purpose to know she’d made such a difference in Carolyn’s life.
A sharp knock at the back door made her smile in anticipation. “Come in,” she called, wiping her hands on a towel before answering.
When Katie saw Mason she ran toward him, her little hands waving in the air, only to stop short when she saw Peter in his arms.
“How’s my girl?” Mason said. For a second, Lisa thought he meant her. But when he knelt down and drew Katie and Peter into a hug, Lisa felt her cheeks flush.
Katie promptly popped her thumb into her mouth as she stared uneasily at Peter, who stared back before giving a smile of glee. The little boy had his father’s dark hair and quick smile, and Lisa could see the love on Mason’s face.
As she stood watching them, she felt drawn into the circle of love that emanated from Mason, his arms full of children. When had her feelings changed? Just a few weeks ago she would have shied away from a scene like this.
“You look happy,” she said.
“So do you. This whole fill-in mother thing has changed you…” He grinned. “See what you’ve been missing?”
“Yeah, I do,” she replied. Swallowing a sudden lump that had risen in her throat, she glanced away.
“Anything wrong?” he asked, genuine concern in his voice.
“No.” Struggling to remain calm and not blurt out her regret that she hadn’t had the courage to fight for the man she’d loved or confront her fears before, she eased away.
“What’s first today?” she asked, forcing herself to concentrate on the present.
“If you can take the kids, I’ll bring in my stuff from the car. I got Katie a set of water wings just like Peter’s, and I have a hamper of food my mother insisted on sending along.”
“That was so sweet of her, but I’ve got all kinds of food.”
“You know my mother—the more food, the better,” he said, carrying both children to the kitchen and putting them in chairs before turning back to her.
He looked her over and she recognized the glint of awareness in his eyes. “How’s it going?” he asked in a near whisper as he came toward her.
“It’s great. Mom played with Katie last evening while I got dinner. Her treatments are going really well. Katie is so much fun, and I can’t wait to get to know Peter better. I’m really enjoying myself.” She heard herself babbling, and wondered if he realized how unbelievably happy she was to see him.
“It would seem my job here is done,” he said with a laugh, but the underlying resignation in his tone forced her eyes to his.
“Do you think you aren
’t needed here anymore?” she asked, and saw by the unguarded expression on his face that she’d hit a nerve.
“Mason, there never was a point in our relationship when I didn’t need you,” she said, sucking in her breath in surprise at her own admission.
“I’m glad to hear you say that,” he responded.
“Look, I know you’re waiting to see if Sara is going to L.A., and I’ve probably picked the worst time to say this…”
“Go on,” he said, his voice low and controlled.
“Over the past few weeks, I’ve come to realize that you weren’t entirely to blame for what happened that night. I could have explained better.”
“And I shouldn’t have walked out.” He gave a long sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. “So where does that leave us?”
“I wish we could have a second chance, but until the thing with L.A. gets resolved…I don’t know.”
“Would you consider moving to L.A.?”
Lisa wanted to say yes, but then she thought about her mother, just starting to thrive, and Katie, though she had no idea how long Katie would be with her. “No, I couldn’t, not now. That’s probably not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.”
He reached for her, pulled her into his arms and kissed her. “I’ll take the truth anytime.”
AS HE HELD HER, he thought over what she’d said about the night of their breakup and his mind spun at the possibility that they might be able to talk about that evening. “We have so much we need to work out,” he remarked.
She pushed away and looked up into his face. “Where do we start?” she asked tentatively.
Don’t blow this. Discussing it here, with her mother and Katie to interrupt, wasn’t such a good idea. “Let’s see, we could go to dinner and talk, if you’d like.”
“We could… Do you think you’d be able to take an evening off?” she asked.
Go slowly. “Let me check my schedule and get back to you.”
Her answering smile had him wanting to shout his pleasure. Seeking calm, he glanced over at Peter and Katie, who were playing with her collection of stuffed animals. Katie, in her bright pink bathing suit, was directing Peter, who was doing his best to arrange the animals to suit Katie.
A Child Changes Everything Page 10