by Robyn Grady
Join the club.
“You truly believe I’m nothing but a gold digger?”
He should have been prepared for it. The threat of tears. The indignation. Of course she wasn’t going to admit it. “Bailey, there’s no other way to read it.”
Through narrowed eyes, she nodded as if she were seeing him for the first time.
“I’m such a fool.”
“And how does that feel?”
She ignored his sarcasm. “Could you believe I thought you were upset because you’d found out I’d fallen in love with you?”
His head kicked back but then that certain coldness rose up again. “Don’t play with me.”
“This morning I thought I’d really found the perfect guy, that fate had finally smiled on me again. An intelligent, good-looking professional with a sense of humor who had a heart to boot. Hell, I thought you were way too good for me.” She dropped over her shoulder as she continued up the stairs, “Turns out I’m too good for you.”
Sixteen
Bailey had been packed and gone from Mateo Celeca’s house in ten minutes flat. He wasn’t anywhere around, and she was glad of it. Nothing he could say would change her mind about leaving, and if she’d seen his supercilious face, she would have needed to let him know again how disappointed she was. Disappointed in herself as well. For believing and hoping too much.
Now, a week later she was entering Natalie’s real estate office. The receptionist buzzed through and a moment later Natalie breezed out from a back office, the smile wide on her face. She beckoned Bailey inside.
“I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I just finished cleaning my last house for the day. I hope this isn’t an inconvenient time.” Bailey took a seat while Natalie shut her office door then lowered into a chair behind her orderly desk.
“What can I do for you? Personal or private?”
“Both. You obviously don’t know yet. Mateo and I broke up last week.”
Her expression dropped. “I can’t believe it. You said you’d had such a perfect time in France.”
“We did. So perfect I fell in love with him.”
Natalie nodded as if she understood. “He hasn’t tried to contact you since you left?”
“No. And I don’t want him to.”
“He’s always said he didn’t want to know about vows and rings.” Annoyed, Natalie flicked a pencil away. “I love Mateo but he’s so stubborn on that. People come into our lives. Things change.”
“Actually, Mateo bought a ring. The most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen.”
Natalie’s eyes rounded. “He proposed and you said no?”
Bailey relayed the story about the email, how Mateo had misinterpreted the message and how he wasn’t prepared to view it from a different, more flattering light.
“I’m sorry,” Natalie said, “but it sounds like a timely excuse to me.” Bailey waited for her to explain. “For Mateo to have gone so far as to buy a diamond, he must be in love with you. But it doesn’t sound as if he’s ready to look beyond the past.”
“I know he has issues with family. That he feels as if his parents abandoned him, his biological father particularly.”
That was a big part of the reason he kept his emotions concerning Remy reined in so tight.
“There’s something else,” Natalie admitted. “Mateo was in love once before, many years ago. From what Alex tells me, she was not a nice type. She preyed on Mateo’s good nature and generosity. He gave and gave but nothing was ever enough. They’d have arguments then make up. Alex said Mateo wasn’t prepared to ever go through that kind of rollercoaster affair again. It scared him to think what would happen if he married a self-centered woman like that and they had a family. If he died and she abandoned the children.”
Bailey tried to absorb the details as she gazed blindly at some document on the desk. “He wanted to marry her and she used him….”
“She didn’t so much use him as bleed him dry.”
Bailey’s gaze flew up. “I wasn’t with Mateo because of his money, what he could give me—”
“Oh, honey, I know.”
Natalie skirted the desk and put her arms around her, but that didn’t help Bailey from feeling gutted. She understood his reasoning a little better, but whatever lay in his past, Mateo was wrong to have jumped to any conclusions without giving her an opportunity to explain. She was tired of feeling as if she weren’t good enough. As if she continually had to prove herself.
Moving away, Natalie leaned back on the edge of the desk. “Would you like Alex to talk to him?”
Bailey shook her head. “I’m here about my job. After the break you gave me, I wanted to give you plenty of notice. I’ve enrolled in classes and I’ll be starting work in the university canteen closer to the time. If you don’t mind, I’d like to stay on till then. I found a small place to rent and, frankly, I need the money.”
The apartment wasn’t much more than a room with a tiny bath attached. But it was affordable and clean and, most importantly, all hers.
“Of course you can stay on as long as you need to,” Natalie said. “And I’m so pleased for you about the classes. But I do wish you’d let Alex have a word with Mateo.”
Bailey found her feet. “It wouldn’t work. Even if we got back together, he’d always wonder about my true feelings. Whether or not I’m a fraud.” And, right or wrong, she didn’t think she could ever get over the anger and disappointment that consumed her whenever she thought of his mistrust. “Still, I hope he finds someone who can make him happy.”
Natalie sighed. “Alex and I thought he had.”
The two women hugged and promised to keep in touch after Bailey handed in her notice. She was on her way out when she remembered to ask, “Did you and Alex come to a decision about Reece’s shots?”
“We’re going to take him in next week.”
Bailey smiled. “I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
As she made her way to the bus stop, she rolled over in her mind their conversation. Given Mateo had gone so far as to buy her that ring, Natalie seemed convinced that he loved her. Bailey hadn’t confessed that he’d barely batted an eye when she’d admitted that she loved him. Then again, given his doubtful nature—his ill-fated affair—he would only think she’d been playing her trump card to keep her foot in his door and her body in his bed.
Cringing, she walked faster.
She may not be a virgin but she would only ever sleep with a man if she wanted to share that most intimate part of herself with him. She hadn’t been prepared to do that with Emilio, not that Mateo needed to know. The truly sad part was that she’d been burned enough by her Italian episode. Once bitten… Now, like Mateo, she couldn’t imagine trusting anyone that much again. To know that he believed she would barter sex for a well-to-do lifestyle—that what they’d shared was essentially a lie—made her want to give up on relationships altogether.
As she neared the bus stop, a tall, suited figure stepped out from behind the shelter. When she recognized the height, the profile, every drop of blood froze in her veins. She was ready to turn straight around and walk away. She didn’t want to see him. Didn’t need to talk. But another, more resilient part propelled her on at the same time as that man came forward too.
She was shaking inside, but that didn’t stop her from standing tall when she pulled up before him.
“What are you doing here? How did you know where to find me?”
“Since you left that morning after our argument,” her father said, “I’ve kept track of your movements. I was about to take a deep breath and knock on your Mateo’s front door before I saw you storm out. I contacted Mateo. He explained you two had had a falling out, and he told me which agency you worked for. The lady at the desk explained you were on their books to clean properties. I’ve waited around every day since, working through what I’d say when I saw you next.”
Bailey swallowed against the emotion rising in her throat. “What did you come up with?”
“I don’t know if she ever told you,” Damon Ross said in a thick, graveled voice, “but your mother and I chose that bracelet together.”
She wanted to clamp her hands over her ears. Instead she held them up. “I’m done fighting over that.”
“I wanted to get you a gold pin with your name on it,” he went on. “But, like always,” his smile was both sad and fond, “Ann had her way. And, I’ll give it to her, usually she was right. But not always.” In his pristine jacket, his shoulders stooped. “Sometimes she was dead wrong.”
Bailey’s chest ached so badly she didn’t want to take another breath. Her father had never opened up like this before. As if he genuinely wanted to help her understand. Still, that lesser part of her whispered in her ear. Walk away. Say something that will hurt him for a change. But she couldn’t. When everything was said and done, he was her father and he was reaching out. But she needed to make him understand too.
“I know you miss her,” she said, “but, Dad, I miss her, too.”
He nodded slowly as his gaze trailed off.
“I thought something was wrong,” he admitted. “We can all have trouble remembering where we put the keys. We’ve all missed appointments. But when she couldn’t coordinate your activities…when she forgot to pick you up from school…” His features hardened and he thrust out his chin. “I told her I was taking her for a checkup. Yes, she was a free spirit. That’s what I loved about her most. She always wanted to do it her way. But just that once—”
He paused and air leaked from his chest before he went on.
“Just that once, I wish she’d have listened.” His chin firmed up again. “I should have insisted. Taken her to the doctor myself instead of buttoning my lip when she insisted it was nothing.”
Her throat clogged, Bailey’s thoughts raced. She couldn’t get her mind around what he was saying.
“You blame yourself for her stroke?”
“Sometimes…yes, I do. Her grandmother died of an aneurysm at a young age. Her own mother died of similar complications the year before she passed.” His eyes met hers and he smiled. “You’re so like her. So headstrong.”
“Is that why you pushed me away?”
“Makes no sense to say it aloud but I didn’t want to lose you too. I made a pact the day we buried your mother that no matter how much I might want to give in to you, you’d do as you were told. I was going to protect and guide you and I didn’t care if you ended up hating me because of it.”
“I never hated you.” Her voice cracked. “I just couldn’t understand why you were so…distant. When Mom was alive, everything seemed so simple.” So warm and so safe. “When she died, it felt like the biggest part of me died with her. After the funeral I felt so alone. I got mixed up with the wrong crowd and dropped out because I didn’t think anyone cared.”
He closed his eyes for a moment as if wishing he could take all those hurt feelings away. “Every day since you left I told myself that I shouldn’t be so hard on you. I should be happy to watch you grow, make your mistakes.”
She admitted, “I made a few.”
“Most of them because I wasn’t there the way I should have been.”
He fished into his suit jacket pocket. When his hand opened, the gold chain and charms shone out like the treasure that it was. His eyes glistened with unshed tears.
“This is yours.”
He took her hand and laid the bracelet in her palm. She gazed down, remembering those happy childhood days—her mother and the father she’d loved so much—and her heart rolled over. Tears ready to fall, she rested her cheek on her father’s shoulder and Damon Ross at last brought his daughter close.
Mateo downed the last of his scotch, set his glass on the clubhouse counter and gestured to the bartender. He needed another drink. Make that a double.
Beside him, Alex held up a hand. “No more for me. I told Nat I’d be home by six-thirty.”
Mateo argued. “We only got off the course an hour ago.”
“And I’m ready to gloat to my wife about how I beat you on both the front and back nine.” Alex’s mouth shifted to one side. “Not that you’ve been focused on anything much lately.”
Two weeks had passed since Bailey had walked out. Admittedly, he’d been preoccupied. Mateo was gesturing to the bartender again.
“I’ll be back at work soon.”
“And you think that’ll help?”
Mateo pretended not to hear that last comment. It was high time he got back to the practice. He was going crazy hanging around that big house. Nothing to do. Only ghosts to talk to. When he’d been with Bailey he’d been happy to postpone visiting Mama. Since she’d gone, he’d considered flying to Italy to fill in the time more than anything, but he knew if he happened upon Emilio he might just punch him in the nose.
“Why don’t you come back and have dinner at home with us,” Alex said. “Natalie would love to see you. Reece too. I told you he had his shots earlier this week.”
“A couple of times. I’m glad there weren’t any serious side-effects.”
Alex raised his brows. “You’re not the only one. So, what about dinner?”
“Thanks. I’ll have something here.”
Mateo collected his fresh glass while Alex asked to settle his tab.
As Alex brought the leather booklet closer and looked over the items, he asked, “Ever heard the saying, love never comes easy?”
“I’m not in the mood for a lecture.” Mateo swirled his ice.
“What about some sound words from a friend then?”
“She’s gone, Alex.” Mateo took a long sip. Swallowed and enjoyed the burn. “No happily ever afters here.”
Alex signed and waited for the bartender to leave before he thatched his hands on the timber counter and asked, “Why do you hold on to it so fiercely?”
“Hold on to what?”
“You’re not losing anything by admitting you love her.”
“You know, you’re right.” Mateo found his feet. “Time to go.”
“To that great big empty house,” Alex reminded him, following out of the crowded room filled with nineteenth hole chatter.
At the exit, Mateo stopped and rotated around. “I let Bailey know I thought she was a con.”
Alex shrugged. “You were wrong.”
“Yeah. I was wrong.”
He’d let Bailey walk away that day two weeks ago, telling himself he had no choice. He was protecting himself. Doing the right thing. But he’d printed off that email and as the hours and then days passed, he read it over again and again. Bailey had insisted that her dialogue in that email had been that of a woman in love. In love with him. He hadn’t wanted to listen. Even when his heart wanted to believe it, his brain didn’t want to take the risk. Because this kind of decision was only the beginning. When you were a couple, you had to tend the garden every day, do everything you could to make certain the union survived. And if it didn’t…if the marriage failed and you had kids…
Mateo headed for the cab stand.
Better that things had turned out the way they did.
Alex was on his tail. The sun was lying low, getting ready to set. The air was muggy. Stifling. Mateo was a whisker from ripping off his shirt.
“So admit it.”
Mateo looked at Alex, striding beside him. “Admit what?”
“That you were wrong.”
“Just did.”
“To her.”
“Sure. I suppose I could kick it off with something like… ‘Hey, Bailey, I was wondering if you could ever forgive me for being the world’s biggest jerk.’”
Alex tugged his ear. “That’s a start.”
Mateo confessed, “I found that message and—” What felt like a sharpened pencil drove into his temple. Growling, he waved off the rest. “Ah, forget it.”
But Alex wasn’t letting him off. “And what?”
Mateo stopped and studied his feet. His heart.
“And suddenly…I felt as if I had nothing.
Was nothing. It’s weird. I have so much. Too damn much. But where it counts…” He shut his eyes. Oh God. “I’m empty.”
“You don’t have to be.”
Mateo’s jaw shifted as his stomach sank more. “I never knew my biological parents.”
Alex rested his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You’d make a great father.”
“Bailey said that to me once.”
“She’s a wise lady.”
“And I’m a jackass.”
“Not usually but in this instance…”
Mateo looked over. Alex was grinning.
He would’ve liked to smile back but he shrugged instead. “How do I fix this? What on earth do I say?”
“The sixty-four million dollar question.” Alex flagged down a cab. “The truth is always a good place to start.”
Seventeen
“Just shout if it’s a bad time to drop in.”
Knowing that voice, feeling her heart instantly crash against her ribs, Bailey gathered herself in record time and turned to face her attractive, uninvited guest.
“Okay,” she said, devoid of emotion. “It’s a bad time to drop in.”
She angled back to climb her building’s first flight of stairs. Mateo Celeca was right there beside her, his arms out, offering to carry her grocery bags.
“I’ll help with those,” he said.
Ignoring him, she kept climbing.
“Nice complex,” he said when they reached the first landing.
She leveled him a glare—Go away!—and went on walking.
“Nat said you handed in notice at the real estate agency,” he said.
She groaned and kept walking. “Whatever it is you’ve come to say, please, just say it.”
“I thought we could catch a coffee some place.”
“Thank you. No.”
She tackled the last of the stairs and crossed to her apartment’s front door.
“Bailey, I want to say I’m sorry.”
His words hit her so hard she lost her breath. But apologies didn’t make a difference in how she felt. She bolstered her resolve.