They say that time eventually heals all wounds, and Marissa Benson knew this from experience all too well. It had been three years since she had the abortion. Although a considerable amount of time had passed since then, there were still times that she felt sadness—during the holidays, every September (the month the baby would’ve been born), and occasionally when she saw infants with their families in public. The painful nightmares of a crying baby that she could hear and not see had become less frequent.
Her mother had tried to get her to attend therapy sessions but she refused to attend. She’d rather grieve alone in peace than tell a stranger about her life. Sometimes she found herself wishing that she could go back in time and change past decisions she had made but wishing wasn’t going to change anything.
As she stood in the door way of Cami’s room and watched her stare at the ceiling, sadness began to pour over her. Cami had lost her baby, and Marissa knew that there wasn’t anything that she could do or say to make her pain go away. The only thing that she could do now was give her love and support.
She had been so involved in her own thoughts that she had not noticed Kaci approach her from behind. “Hopefully you’ll have better luck with her than Mom and me.”
“Yeah,” Marissa choked. Kaci questionably looked at the young woman. She looked as if she was fighting back tears, and she had never known her to cry.
“Hey,” she began. Marissa slightly turned her head hoping that she hadn’t seen a tear drop. “She’ll bounce back just like she always does.”
Cami had heard Kaci’s comment and couldn’t help but wonder what made her younger sister think that she was so strong. She didn’t feel strong. She felt defenseless because she couldn’t save her baby. Her mother, Kaci, Marissa, and River didn’t understand the feeling because they hadn’t lost a child.
She felt someone lay down beside her in her bed and she knew that it was Marissa without turning to face her. She could smell the new strawberry scented shampoo that she’d been talking about for weeks. She inhaled the scent and momentarily forgot that she didn’t want anyone’s company.
Marissa sat up and laced her fingers with Cami’s and tugged at her arm. “Let’s go,” she said.
“I’m not in the mood,” she said, as she pulled her arm away from Marissa.
“Listen. We don’t have to go to a party. Just let me take you to the mall and buy you dinner.”
“Fine,” Cami said as she sat up.
“Great!”
“But after that I want to come home.”
“Okay. Sure.”
As the girls were getting ready to leave, Kaci peaked into Cami’s room. She had been eavesdropping on their conversation the entire time. “Marissa, I need to borrow you for a sec.” She turned to look at Cami as to what Kaci could want with her, but Cami only shrugged.
She slowly rose from the bed and looked back at Cami before Kaci shut the door behind them. “Look, I want you to take extra care of her.” She paused for a moment as if gathering her thoughts. “She hasn’t been herself since…you know.”
“Yeah, I know the story.” In fact, she knew the story a lot better than Kaci or Cami knew. “Just take care of my sister or else.”
“Sure,” Marissa said nervously. She knew that Kaci meant well, but she was coming off as somewhat threatening to her. She had always looked out for Cami whenever they were together so Kaci had absolutely nothing to worry about.
The mall was crowded with youngsters hopping from store to store with numerous shopping bags in tow. Cheerful smiles were plastered across the shoppers’ faces. Looking at them made Cami wish that she was one of them. Why should they get to be so happy while she was miserable?
Seeing her upset made Marissa sad. Cami was her best friend and she hated seeing her this way.
A thought crossed her mind. It wouldn’t take away the pain of her loss, but it should remind her of happier times.
Cami sighed.
They hadn’t been at the mall for ten minutes, and she was already tired of walking. She was pleased when her eyes caught sight of the food court. There she would sit and rest for a while before doing whatever else was on Marissa’s mall agenda.
“Let’s sit down for a minute or two,” she said to Marissa.
“Where?”
Cami led the way to the food court with Marissa following closely behind. She picked a table located near a fast food restaurant. “I’m going to go run and get something right quick,” Marissa said as she stood.
“Wait. Are you getting something to eat or…”
“Just wait here. I’ll be right back.”
Cami watched Marissa walk off into the distance and turn a corner. She had better not ditched her to go shopping. She wasn’t in the mood for that today. In fact, she wasn’t in the mood for anything today. All she really wanted to do was stay at home where it was peaceful and quiet. But she just had to listen to Marissa and be dragged to the mall.
Suddenly she felt someone’s eyes on her. She looked from side to side but didn’t notice anyone looking at her. Maybe it was just her imagination. Then, she felt someone tap on her shoulder. She turned around and was surprised to see Skylar standing before her.
“Hi, Skylar,” she said quietly. She didn’t know that he had left the hospital. That’s when she really got a good look at him. Although she had seen him before on many occasions, he looked more muscular and taller than she remembered. She also noticed that he was walking on crutches. It made her realize that she and Natalie were not the only victims that Leena had hurt. He was one of them as well. If he hadn’t saved Kaci’s life, she may have been one, but she was grateful the young man cared enough about her sister to actually put his own life on the line.
“Hi,” he said. He had seen her in the parking lot earlier with Marissa. When he saw her he was secretly hoping that Kaci would’ve been with them. He hadn’t seen her in several days, and he really missed her. He would’ve taken a chance and stopped by her house to see her but he knew that within the next half hour his parents would be home—sooner rather than later—and he didn’t want to risk getting in trouble. He was already taking a chance by even being seen in public. He was supposed to be at home in bed but he was bored to death. So he took one set of his father’s keys to his favorite sports car without his knowledge.
“I’m glad that you’re okay,” Cami said.
“Yeah,” he said. “So am I.”
“I know that you’re probably wondering where Kaci is…” She began to play with her hands. “She’s not with me right now…She’s at home.”
He nodded.
“But she is doing fine…” She glanced upward at the dome shaped ceiling which looked as if it was covered in diamonds. “I guess I have you to thank for that,” she said while smiling. Skylar even smiled to himself. “I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you for saving my little sister.”
He blushed. “I would never let anything bad happen to Kaci.” He meant every single word he had said. He cared a great deal about Kaci, and he would never allow something bad to happen to her.
“But don’t let this go to your head. You’re still a boy, and I’m still going to keep an eye on you.”
His lips formed a straight line. He couldn’t deny the facts. He was a teenage boy with raging hormones who would’ve loved nothing more than to sleep with the young woman who had his heart. But Kaci was a classy, ambitious, girl with much potential and even if they were dating, he knew that she wouldn’t have slept with him. After all of the time that he had spent with her, he knew that she wasn’t the type of girl who would have sex before marriage. She had a lot of respect for herself and he respected her for that. There was one thing that he was sure about: when the day came for them to be together, he wasn’t going to let her out of his grasp.
“You okay?” Cami asked. He had been staring into space with the goofiest look on his face for the past several minutes. She knew that he was probably daydreaming about Kaci. She had seen the way he look
ed at her.
“Yes,” he said. His eyes caught sight of Marissa in the distance. She looked as if she was a happy kid in candy land. She was carrying a plastic bag that was filled with candy. He couldn’t tell what kind of candy it was but he was thinking of purchasing some before heading back home.
He smiled to himself. He would be sure to share some with Kaci the next time he saw her. He dropped his eyes to the floor when he realized that Cami was staring at him.
When he had the courage to look up again, she was looking off into the distance. Her eyes held a similar sadness that he had seen in his mother’s eyes while he was in the hospital. Suddenly, he remembered Kaci telling him that Cami had lost her baby.
“Cami,” he began. She tilted her head to the side. She was listening. “I’m sorry about your loss.” She crossed her arms and stared at the floor. “It’s not your fault. It’s Leena’s.” Her voice was shaky and she could slowly feel herself becoming angry. Just hearing Leena Davidson’s name made her angry.
“I should get going. My parents will be home soon,” he said hurriedly.
She watched him walk on his crutches until she lost sight of him completely. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all. Besides, he did save Kaci; but at the end of the day, he was still a boy and she was going to make sure that he didn’t do anything to hurt her little sister.
“Here,” Marissa panted as she handed Cami the jellybeans, “these are for you.” She looked from the jellybeans to her friend. She knew that Marissa was trying to make her feel better and it was very nice of her—not that she expected anything else. Despite that, she still had a lonely, empty feeling in her heart and jellybeans weren’t going to fix that. She bit into one of the candies and began to relive her childhood.
When she was younger, both of their mothers would take them to the park together. After a fun filled day of playing and joking around with Marissa, their moms would take them to the store and let them pick a sweet treat to eat. Marissa would always choose gummy bears while Cami picked jellybeans. After that they would even go out for ice cream. What a sugar rush! Oh, how she missed the good old days of being a kid. She didn’t have any worries then. Her main focus was school and that was it. Now her worries extended far beyond that.
It was obvious to Marissa that something was on Cami’s mind. She wondered if it had anything to do with what Skylar had said to her. She saw them having a conversation earlier but she wasn’t close enough to hear what it was about. She debated whether or not to ask Cami but decided against it for the time being.
Although Cami thought that she wanted her to come to the mall to have a good time, there was another reason why Marissa wanted her to come.
She sighed and Cami didn’t seem to notice. She focused her eyes on her gummy bears. She popped a red one into her mouth. She had never told Cami that she was once pregnant, and had an abortion, or that she was raped but she wanted to. The only part that she really dreaded was revealing that the person who had caused her this great pain, besides herself, was another Davidson.
“I know that you probably don’t think that I know how you feel but I do,” Marissa said.
Cami turned her sad eyes to Marissa’s. “What are you talking about?”
Marissa gulped. There was no turning back now. “I can relate to the loss that you felt when you lost your baby.”
Cami stared straight ahead at her with a cold look on her face. Marissa was probably going to tell her about when one of her relatives passed away. That wasn’t the same as her losing a baby because Marissa didn’t have one so there was no way that she could possibly relate to her on this one.
“When I was fourteen, I was raped and had an abortion,” Marissa confessed.
Cami’s mouth fell open. “I’m so sorry that happened to you,” she said as she put a reassuring hand on top of Marissa’s. “But why didn’t you tell me? How did this happen?”
“Let me start from the beginning.” Marissa began to tell Cami about her past. She told her about the risky decisions she used to make concerning alcohol and sex after her father passed away. She even told her that she use to frequent Leena’s parties and that she slept with her brother. The more she revealed to Cami, the more she could feel herself slowly falling apart. She was trying her hardest to keep it together but it was difficult. Then, she told her about the rape, pregnancy, and abortion. After everything that Marissa had revealed to her, Cami didn’t know what to say.
She knew that she use to attend parties often but that was it. She never would’ve guessed that Marissa used to engage in such risky behavior and suffered pain and trauma or that those parties she attended were hosted by The Devil herself. For a moment, both girls sat down in silence.
Marissa had said what she wanted to say to Cami. She waited for her to say something but the young woman didn’t utter a word. She tried reading her facial expression but she couldn’t tell if she was angry or sad. After all Cami wasn’t always the easiest person to read.
“Take me home,” Cami demanded. Marissa could hear a hint of anger in her voice. She figured that it was probably because she told her that she used to party with Leena Davidson. “Was it something I said?” Marissa inquired.
Cami didn’t bother facing her. Instead, she gathered her purse and left the packet of jellybeans on the table. Marissa quickly followed pursuit and drove her home. She tried talking to Cami but she was quiet the entire way home. Marissa thought about anything else that she could have possibly said to her that could have made her angry. Each time she’d come back to Leena. That had to be it. Hopefully, after a good night’s rest, she’d be fine.
After dropping Cami off at her place and arriving home, she noticed that the mailbox was open. It instantly struck her as odd because her mother would never leave the mailbox open. She always said that nosy neighbors may try to steal her TV Guide magazine which didn’t make any sense to Marissa because she was hardly ever home to watch TV.
She stepped out of her car and made her way towards the mailbox. She peered inside and saw a white envelope inside with her name typed on the front. She pulled it out and looked it over. There was no postage or a return address. She opened the envelope and her hands trembled as she read the note inside: I’M COMING FOR YOU.
Someone had to put this inside her mailbox probably while she and her mother weren’t home. But who? Leena couldn’t have done this because she was in jail so that leaves Kelly but Marissa couldn’t picture her doing something like this. It didn’t seem like it was her style. So who could it have been?
Chapter 38
Cami's Decision Page 38