Lovie shrugged. “Guarda possesses incredible power.”
“But why would she want to make spirits disappear?” Ryan asked.
“Who knows!” Christopher snapped as if the answer were already apparent. “Why does Guarda do anything she does? Only she can tell you why.” He paused for a moment. “Not that she ever would.”
“Why would you suggest that Guarda was the force behind spirits disappearing?” I chose to reword my question.
“Because spirits have been disappearing all over N’Orleans,” Lovie responded with a sigh. “Spirits we’ve relied on for years, along with spirit guides who facilitate us in successfully reaching those on the other side. They’ve simply vanished without a trace.” She swallowed hard.
“How long has this been going on?” I asked.
“Since we’ve started noticing it?” Lovie asked as I nodded. “Maybe a couple o’ months.”
“It is also possible that,” Christopher straightened before going into lecture mode, “these spiritual energies carry an expiration date. People died more often and more violently in less civilized times. The rate of untimely death has naturally slowed, which could explain why these energies seem to be extinguishing around the same time.”
I wasn’t buying that explanation. “What is Guarda doing with the spirits?” I asked Lovie.
“If we knew that, we wouldn’t be wildly speculating,” Christopher answered, his voice full of snarkiness and spite.
“The truth is, we don’t know. But we’re guessin’ it’s not good,” Lovie replied.
Silence descended around the table as the weight of the conversation sank in.
“If we talked to Guarda…”
“Peyton, that’s out of the question!” Ryan said, shaking his head.
I put my hand to my chest. “Do you think I want to go back to her? Me? I’m the one who had to endure her last time.”
“And I was the one who watched what she did to you,” Ryan said, anger beginning to simmer in his eyes.
And I can still feel how it affects you, Drake added. I feel it the same as you, ma minette.
“What if someone you loved was stuck like Dorothy is?” I stared into Ryan’s eyes, weighing my words as I spoke, “reliving her untimely death, over and over…”
Ryan’s jaw clenched as he stared back at me, but he didn’t take the bait. “But it’s not someone I love,” he said slowly. “You’re the person I love and I don’t want you doin’ something that could get you hurt, or worse…”
All romantic posturing aside, Drake began and his tone was dismissive, if Guarda does have nefarious intentions for these stuck spirits, what’s to stop her from harming Dorothy? Technically, we would be leading her right to Dorothy, mon chaton.
I closed my eyes and put my face in my hands. “This isn’t fair; not when it’s two against one.”
“We found another way to help Peter without going to Guarda,” Ryan said, noticeably ignoring my mention of Drake. “So why would we need Guarda this time?”
“Believe me,” I said, “if there’s any way we can do this without involving Guarda, I’m all ears. But I don’t see how that’s possible. Maybe you two have some ideas?” I looked at Lovie and Christopher.
They looked at each other, Lovie searching Christopher’s face while he gazed back, his arms folded snugly across his chest.
Christopher finally shrugged, and Lovie turned back to me. “If you wanna help, an’ no one would blame you for walkin’ away, but if you wanna do somethin’, Guarda would be your only option.” She took a deep breath. “Given all the facts about Dorothy’s spirit, it’s beyond our abilities.”
“Peyton?” Ryan started, but when his eyes met mine, his voice faded.
“I have to do something. I can’t say no to them in good conscience—and I keep thinking what if my grandmother’s soul got stuck?” I said softly, realizing I’d already made the painful decision.
Ryan looked away, his jaw tight when he looked back at me. Something told me he’d caved and I knew I’d won. “I’m going with you.”
“Of course,” I said quickly, even if I weren’t exactly thrilled to have him near Guarda. Last time we saw her was the first time she met Ryan, and she took a rather unhealthy interest in him. Even more troubling, when Lovie asked how much we owed for Guarda’s services, Guarda replied she’d already been paid in full while practically drooling over Ryan. None of us knew what that meant. Naturally, it still bothered me because Guarda was the type of person who never did anything for free.
“Not just to Guarda’s house,” Ryan said evenly. “If your search for Dorothy involves another foray back into the past, I’m going with you this time.”
I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. The idea of Guarda working her magic on Ryan worried me. I almost felt violated. And not entirely because of what I suffered under her supervision, but also what I saw firsthand. I knew what she’d done to Peter.
Before I could stop it, the image of Guarda and Peter having sex flashed in my brain, but instead of Peter mindlessly thrusting into her, it was Ryan!
For the love of God, why would you torture me with such images?
Ignoring Drake’s outburst, my response to Ryan’s demand was, “No.”
Ryan’s posture tightened as he inhaled a deep breath, but before he could move, Lovie interrupted.
“I can see the benefit of Peyton havin’ help, should she go back in time, but it can’t be you, Ryan. Peyton can only travel between the realms because of Drake.”
Ryan’s lips pressed into a line as he sat back against his chair while he looked at me, his normally sunny eyes growing dark with frustration.
“I think I might have an idea though,” Lovie said. “Since we’re going to Guarda’s anyway…”
Ryan scowled.
“Guarda may be able to send Drake back in time with you, Peyton,” Lovie finished, turning to face me.
The relief that swept through me made me feel a little guilty.
If you must go under Guarda’s magic again, I insist that you take me with you, Drake said.
“Now, I’m not positive, but…” Lovie turned to Christopher, “…it’s theoretically possible, seein’ as it’s the spirit that gets sent back in time, and Drake could be physically present, just like you would be, Peyton.”
“Interesting idea,” Christopher commented, his features lightening considerably in a pensive expression.
My eyebrows rose in surprise.
Is this really possible? Drake’s voice came in a rush of excitement. I would be with you, as if I were still in the flesh? Back in my own time once again?
“You mean,” I paused abruptly when I heard the enthusiasm in my voice, “Drake could come with me? As opposed to being inside me?” I asked more neutrally.
The scowl on Ryan’s face deepened and I kicked myself for my choice of words.
If this distresses you, mon chaton, Drake purred, I’m sure we could find an alternate way for me to be inside …
Shut. Up. I lowered my face as the heating sensation spread across my cheeks. Drake’s laughter in my head made me start to roll my eyes, but I caught myself.
“I think so,” Lovie said, “But there’s only one way to find out.”
FOUR
I shut the door behind Lovie and Christopher as they left and silence quickly descended over the house. I didn’t turn around right away to face Ryan; the weight of his mood filled the air with tension.
“Peyton?” His deep voice was measured and serious. Drake was quiet. I thought I owed Ryan some privacy and knew he wouldn’t like to have an audience, so I shut Drake out. Then I turned to Ryan, and my eyes settled on his face. It looked very different with the stern expression on it.
“Ryan, think about the anxiety those women must suffer, lying awake at night, knowing their loved ones aren’t where they’re supposed to be,” I started but Ryan shook his head. “Imagine if that were Elizabeth,” I persisted, nearly startling myself in the process. The c
olor immediately drained from Ryan’s face and he took a step away from me. I realized too late that I’d gone too far.
“Don’t ever bring my wife into something like this again!” he said, clenching his teeth in obvious pain.
The way he said “my wife” surprised me and I felt something lurch in my chest. It almost seemed as if she were still here. “I just thought…” I said softly, trying to figure out a way to explain my compulsion to help Dorothy and spare her from reliving her death, if that’s where she truly was stuck. I was only intending to relate it to something he knew, i.e., the loss of his wife. “Dorothy belonged to someone. She had a family. People loved her too.”
“I know what you were doing,” he said slowly, his eyes never leaving my face. “Don’t ever use Elizabeth again, not as a means to an end.”
I opened my mouth and shut it again. What could I say to that? “That’s not what I meant,” I started.
“What happened to Elizabeth can’t be compared to what happened to Dorothy and Alice. They have absolutely nothing in common,” Ryan continued, the anger rising in his tone.
“I didn’t mean to offend you,” I replied honestly.
“Offend me?” he said, astonished. “You didn’t offend me, Peyton, you sideswiped me!”
Elizabeth died in a tragic accident at one of Ryan’s work sites barely six years after they were married. He hardly ever spoke of her now, but in the beginning of our relationship, he was more than hesitant to get involved with me. He wasn’t over her untimely death, even though years had passed since the accident. It was always obvious to me that he loved her deeply, but seeing the fire now in his eyes, which he aimed at me, painfully confirmed that in a way he hadn’t before.
As my brow furrowed, I lowered my face. “Okay,” I said gently as I tried to banish the uncomfortable realization from my thoughts and shield my bruised heart. “But you act like I want to involve Guarda. And I don’t.” I looked back up at him, reminding myself to stay strong. I had to keep the hurt out of my eyes. “I just want to help Jill and her mother.”
As Ryan studied my face, he sighed and looked away. “I know you do.” He put his hands on his hips and stood motionless for a moment, probably lost in his thoughts.
I struggled, trying to think of what to say or do to cut the tension. I wasn’t used to such hostility. Since Ryan started working again, he was gone a lot, so when we finally got to see each other, we tried to make good use of our time. And this wasn’t what I would call “good.”
“I just don’t like any of this, Pey,” he said, his voice much softer. His eyes were big and worried as they settled on mine.
“Well,” I said, eagerly seizing the shift in mood I sensed from the tender tone of his words. I stepped forward and slid my hands up to his chest before placing a barely-there kiss on his lips. I didn’t want to fight with him. That was the last thing I wanted. No, I wanted to be close to him, so I could explain to him why I needed to do this.
He gazed steadily into my eyes, although he didn’t make any moves to hold me.
“Why don’t we just think about it tomorrow?” I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer until I could feel the heat of him through our clothes. “I’m sorry about… everything. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know you didn’t,” he answered, his voice gruffer. “You don’t have it in you to hurt anyone.” He sighed heavily. “But she’s still a tender subject for me.”
“And that’s okay,” I said as I pulled away and sandwiched his face between my palms. “She was special to you, Ryan, and she always will be.”
He nodded as his hands automatically found my hips and his jaw tightened. Then his face lowered to the inside of my neck and he kissed me slowly before releasing an agonized breath. “And you are also incredibly special to me, Peyton,” he said as he pulled me closer and I reveled in his maleness. I suddenly needed him in a purely physical way. I longed for him to make love to me.
“Stay tonight?” I whispered softly in his ear.
“I’ll stay,” he answered, his breath tickling my skin and sending a wave of heat through me. With a soft groan, he grasped my bottom in both hands and picked me up.
I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist as he proceeded toward the stairs. I listened to his breathing accelerate, and while he strode up the stairs, I planted kisses along his neck. As soon as we safely arrived at the top of the staircase, I wanted to see just how determined he was to make it to my room.
I took his face in my hands and pulled his mouth on mine, parting his lips with my tongue before I began to explore it. Ryan inhaled sharply and stumbled, but managed to regain his footing before we went sprawling. I had to temporarily unlatch my mouth from his because I was grinning too much to keep up my kissing attack. He paused and took in my expression, his smile now devilish. Then in one swift moment, he turned and pressed me up against the wall. Grinding his hips into mine, he made me ache between my legs. I was throbbing with an intense need to be filled. Moaning, I let the back of my head fall against the wall and surrendered to him before he overwhelmed me.
We usually took our time with our love making, drawing out our excitement until we were both shaking with anticipation. But this was not one of those times. Ryan tugged off my pants and slid inside me in one swift stroke. The delicious sensation, as well as the shock of it, made me wonder how he managed to remove his pants so quickly. In seconds, my thoughts were consumed by the feeling of having him deep inside me, pressing my back hard against the wall with his body. He pulled out briefly, then re-entered me.
I moaned again, but the sound died in my throat when his mouth locked onto mine. My fingers were tangled up in his hair, digging into the tightly coiled muscles of his back as he drove himself deep inside me, over and over. The blissful moments were replaced by waves of sweet release, pulsing through my core and I felt every muscle in my body relaxing. Ryan’s tongue went from urgent to tender as he played with my lips.
When all the tension was drained from both of us, he rested his forehead against mine. His chest rhythmically rose and fell with each deep breath he took. I wanted to stay like that forever, his body pressed inside me, the glistening sweat from his skin mixing with mine, his intoxicating smell that was so distinct filling me up with each breath.
Gently easing me away from the wall, he didn’t put me down, but carried me the rest of the way to the bedroom. I heard the rustle of blankets when he flung them back before he lowered me onto the bed. An instant later, I was completely wrapped up by him, his chest was pressed against my back, and one of his legs was draped over both of mine. I cherished the sounds of his contented breathing in my ear and closed my eyes to take it all in, reveling in the safety I felt by being surrounded by him.
I’d never felt that way with a man before: safe, protected, cherished, and wanted. All at once. It was always like that after we made love, regardless of whether it was tender and sweet, even when we went at each other like a couple of horny teenagers. I always ended up in his arms, feeling lazy and wonderful. Thankfully, it was nothing like my past marriage. Sex with my ex was just another item on my to-do list. Another unsatisfying task I’d legally committed myself to perform whenever he demanded it from me. At least, it hadn’t usually lasted very long.
Everything was still new with Ryan, and sometimes, I wondered if it were real, and if it could last. Would I blow it somehow? Would it fade with time? It just didn’t seem possible, especially after observing Ryan’s healthy sexual appetite only growing more insatiable as the weeks turned into months. At times, I was almost thankful for the break when he had to work overtime. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure we would’ve starved to death. Not to mention, the sleep deprivation! I was convinced I was turning into a zombie. One time, I even woke up in the foyer after I apparently sleepwalked through the house.
Although, what could I say? Ryan’s enthusiasm was more than inspiring, and one look at his gloriously naked body was more than enough to put me up for the task
of filling his ravenous appetite.
Ryan’s fingers trailed up my arm, tickling my skin, then he squeezed my bicep and kissed my shoulder.
“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” he murmured in the silence.
I swallowed as I recalled his fierce loyalty to Elizabeth’s memory. I couldn’t really fault him for it though. He was a good man. And from everything I’d heard, she was a good woman. And they loved each other. But just because he loved her didn’t mean he had no love left for me. I had no doubt he loved me.
“It’s okay,” I answered, my voice sounding sleepy.
A moment passed, and I could tell by the tightness in his arms that there was more he wanted to say.
He sighed, letting out a slow exhale as if he were releasing some frustration, then he kissed my shoulder again. “I know you want to do this. And I understand.” His lips pressed another sweet kiss onto the skin of my shoulder.
“Thank you.”
“I know you’re scared. I’m scared too.” His voice fell to a whisper. “And I’m glad you won’t be alone.”
My eyes glistened with emotion as his words sunk in. He actually listened to me! He did understand. And despite his resentment toward Drake, he was willing to put those feelings aside if it helped me.
“Thank you,” I whispered back, my heart full of love for this man.
His lips moved from my shoulder to the back of my neck, and I snuggled deeper into him, pressing my rear into the warmth of his pelvis. The length of him throbbed behind me as his hand slid under my arm to take hold of my breast.
Like I said, the man was insatiable. But then again, maybe I was too.
I arched my body against his as we woke up to the heat that ignited our insides. For some reason, I was absolutely sure that this feeling, our new reality, would be around for a very long time.
FIVE
I woke up with a start, my damp hair sticking to my scalp with sweat, my heart pounding. My first thought was that I’d awoken from a nightmare but I couldn’t remember dreaming anything.
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