by Marie Ahls
***
“Ellie? Where did you go?” My mother called out, snapping me out of my head. Looking around, I realized that I was still in the closet.
“In here.” I called out, bending down to put the blanket that was in my hands back in the box that I had pulled it out of. I noticed an envelop with my name on it laying in the open box. Picking up and looking at in more closely, I noticed that I had never seen that handwriting before. Letting my curiosity get the better of me, I gently opened up the envelope and pulled out the paper that was neatly folded inside of it.
“Ellie?” My mother called out again, this time her voice was a little closer. “What are you still doing in there?”
“Mom, why is there a letter addressed to me?” I asked as I started to read the letter.
Dear My Sweet Ellie,
I hope that you are in a good place when you finally read this letter. I can’t tell you how many times I have rewritten this, trying to get it just perfect. I know that no matter what I say, you are probably still going to be angry and hurt. The only thing that I can say is that I am sorry. I am sorry that I couldn’t be the mother that you deserved and needed. I hated having to give you up but knew that it was the best thing that I could have done for you. There are so many reasons that I could give you, but honestly none of them will ever excuse the fact that I gave away my beautiful little girl.
I want you to know that not a day has gone by where you have not been on my mind or in my heart. I hope that Shelby and Jacob have given you the life that I always wanted for you. When I met them, I knew that they would be the best parents for you. Giving you up was the hardest thing that I have ever done.
Please don’t hate me for giving you up or your parents for taking you. Just know that I have always loved you and will always love you. I hope that one day, you will come find me and give me a chance to tell you the real story of where you came from. I will tell you this much, I have loved your birth father every single day since I have met him. I will love him until the day that I die. He is a good man and I don’t think that he will ever forgive me for giving up his baby girl.
My name is Keisha Grant and I live in the small town of Allenville, South Carolina. I don’t think I will ever leave here. I will be here waiting for the day that you want to meet me.
I love you Ellie!
Now and Forever,
Your First Mother ~ Keisha
“Ellie.” My mother said, from the doorway. “I can explain.”
“Is it true? Is what I just read true?” I demanded, hoping that she wouldn’t lie to me.
“Yes,” rushed out of her mouth with the breath the she was holding. Reaching out to brace herself on the wall, “I can explain.”
“There is no need.” I said, as the letter that I just read feel from my hands. Desperately needing air to process what I had just learned; I pushed past my mother and made my way to the front door. Opening the door, I turned back to see her with tears streaming down her face. “Don’t wait up for me.”
“I don’t care what that paper said Ellie. You’ve always been mine.”
Slamming the door behind me, I made my way down the driveway and hopped into my car. Thankful for my purse that was still sitting in the passenger seat, I grabbed the key and started up the car. Reversing down my driveway, I hit my street. Not knowing where I could go, I just drove.
Shelby
Three Months Later
“Cole, I don’t know what I am going to do. It has been three months since Ellie found the letter from her birth mother and she hasn’t been the same ever since.” I said, as I laid my head on Cole’s shoulder. So much had changed in the past three months and I finally felt like I wasn’t drowning. Cole came back into my life just when I needed him the most. He has been by my side ever since the day my beautiful daughter found out that I didn’t give birth to her.
“Shel, I know it may feel like there is no bright side to life right now. I promise that things will get better. Ellie has had a ton to process and she is honestly doing as well as can be expected.” Leaning over, he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. “Give it some more time. Things will get better.”
“Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” I admitted, meaning every word and returning the kiss that he just gave me.
“Oh geez! Do you know how disrespectful it is for you two to be all over each other, here of all places?” Ellie asked, as she slammed into the house. Dropping her backpack on the floor, she just stood in the living room doorway and glared at Cole and I. “It is bad enough that you are now dating my teacher, but to bring him here of all places.”
“Wait just a minute young lady. This is my house and I am fully grown. Cole and I are both consenting adults.” Jumping up, I stared Ellie down. I know that she is processing a lot right now, but I will not tolerate this disrespect from her. Taking a deep cleansing breath, “Ellie. I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I love you more than life itself and I hate that we are in the place.”
“You lied to me my whole entire life!” She screamed at me.
“Ellie, don’t yell at your mother like that.” Cole said, getting up and taking the two steps that were separating us. Placing his hand on my back for support, “I know you are processing a lot right now, but I will not just sit here while you beat her up.”
“You’re not my father!” Ellie roared, focusing her rage at Cole. “Well, she is not my mother either, so you too are actually perfect for each other.” Turning on her heels, Ellie marched up the steps and slammed her bedroom door behind her.
The house shook as I collapsed into Cole’s waiting arms, I let out the sob that had been building up. “I’ve lost her.”
“No, you haven’t. She is an angry teenager.” Cole said, as he rubbed my trembling back. Leading my back to the sofa, he gently sat us both down and wrapped me up in his strong arms. “Shelby, it’s going to be okay. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but it will be okay. She loves you and knows how much you love her. She’s angry and you are the only one here, so you are going to take all of what she has to dish out.”
“When did you get so good at this?” I asked, wiping my eyes and looking up into his deep chocolate eyes.
“I was born this way.” He said with a wink.
“Oh goodness.” I responded with a chuckle. Taking a much-needed deep breath, “thank you for everything. I don’t know if I will ever be able to thank you for just being here through all of this.”
“You don’t have to thank me. Shelby, I have to tell you something. Now probably isn’t the right time, but this can’t wait anymore.”
“What is it?” I asked, sitting up and fearing for the absolute worse.
Turning his body to face me and taking both of my hands in his, “I have been in love with you since the first day that I saw you walking across the quad with your books in your arms. You were walking with Rebecca Morrow and I think you ladies were headed to Mr. Myers’ science class.”
“Why didn’t you say something then. It was months before you actually talked to me.” I asked, shocked by his confession.
“When I told Jacob about you, he thought that I should make my move. When I had finally gotten up the nerve to talk to you, he saw you and fell head over heels in love. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. We were all at the bonfire and I was about to go talk to you, but then he saw you. The look on his face told me that I had blown my chance and I knew that I had to take myself out of the equation.”
“I didn’t know…”
“Shh. He didn’t know what effect you were going to have on him. It was instant and hit him like a ton of bricks.” Leaning into me with a thoughtful look on his face, “when we were walking home that night Jacob told me something that I will never forget.”
“What?” I asked, becoming impatient and needing to know everything.
“He told me that he was going to marry you one day.” Cole confessed.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yes really. Shelby, there was no one else for him after that day.”
“I loved him with every bit of my heart. We had a good life together. We made a beautiful family…”
“No! You took someone else’s child and played house!” Ellie roared from her across the room. I didn’t know that she came back downstairs.
“Ellie. That’s not fair.” Cole said, instantly putting some distance between us. The temperature in the room dropped and my heart shattered into a million pieces.
“It’s the truth.” Ellie spit out. Shifting her attention from Cole to me, “it seems like I was interrupting something important.”
“No. We were just talking…” I started.
“I just came to tell you that I am leaving.” Ellie interrupted me and picked up her backpack off the floor.
“Will you be back for dinner tonight?” I asked, not wanting to fight with Ellie anymore. I was tired and just wanted things to go back to the way that they used to be.
“No.”
“What do you mean? When are you coming back home?” I asked, noticing how angry and hurt my child really was. She was not the Ellie that I raised anymore. She was someone that I didn’t recognize.
“I don’t know.”
“Ellie, where are you going?” I asked, standing up on shaky legs.
“I am going to find my mother.”
“I’m right here.” I said, not really understanding what was happening.
“No! I am going to find my real mother. Keisha Grant.” Ellie informed me, as she picked up her backpack off the floor and flung it over her shoulder.
“I…I…I don’t understand.” Feeling the room start to spin around me, I plopped down.
“Are you okay?” Cole asked, worry etched on his handsome face.
“She will be fine.” Ellie said, with a venom laced voice.
“Why don’t you slow down for a minute?” Cole asked, hoping to restore some kind of order to the situation that was unfolding.
“You’re not a part of this! You’re not my dad! I thought my dad died but turns out he was lying to me too.”
“Enough!” I roared, instantly regretting my tone with Ellie. “Listen, I understand that you are hurt and angry. You are allowed to be. You just found out something that shattered your whole world. Ellie, I love you and will give you all the space you need to process this. One thing I will not tolerate is the disrespect that you have been heaping on me, Cole, and your father.”
“I don’t have to listen to you!” Ellie roared back, interrupting me and causing my heart to break a little bit more. I was losing my baby girl and didn’t know what to do to get her back. Looking at Ellie, I didn’t recognize the young woman who was standing in my house. I missed my daughter so much and wanted her back.
Taking a deep breath and staring me down, “I didn’t come in here to fight with you anymore.” The tone of Ellie’s voice was eerily calm, and I knew that this was it. This was the last time that I would see my baby girl. The next time I laid eyes on her, she would be someone else. “I just wanted to tell you that I was leaving to go find my mother. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.” Turning her back to me, Ellie made her way to the front door. There was a moment of silence before my front door opened and then instantly closed with a loud bang.
“Ellie!” I called out, hoping that she could hear me through her pain. Collapsing into Cole’s arms, “Ellie come back!” The tears flowed with no sign of stopping, “you’re mine! Always mine…”
“Shh!” Cole soothed as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. “She’s yours and will come back home.”
“Do you promise?” I asked, hoping that he would say the magic words that I needed to hear.
About the Author
E.S. McMillan is a self-proclaimed Superhero. She is a mom to 4 amazing boys. Married to one of her best friends and has plans to take the world by storm.
E.S. was born in California, raised in New York, and now resides in Connecticut.
E.S. is a lover of the written word and cannot remember a time when there was not a book in her hand or an open notebook close by, waiting to be filled with her stories.
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