by Amy Patrick
His eyes left the tattered piece of straw and came up to meet mine. “Take my word for it.”
I glared at him. “If that’s true then they’re stupid. It’s completely out of the question. It’s too dangerous to be with a human. One wrong move, and I could kill him.”
Using as intimidating a tone as I could muster, I added, “Never forget that. Your girlfriend Marjorie... Kelly, Heather... me... every vampire you’ve ever met—we’re dangerous predators.”
Shane’s gaze locked on me, and his heartbeat, which I could hear clearly, increased in pace.
“I’m not scared of you, you know.” His tone wasn’t quite seductive, but it was definitely something.
Wait... no. It couldn’t be. We’d kidnapped him for God’s sake. Was this why he’d stayed with us when he could have escaped? Did he feel something for me?
Did the pheromone thing affect human males as well as vampires?
If that was the case, I had to shut this down right now.
“You should be,” I said, staring into his intense brown eyes. “I’m a murderer.”
23
A Rather Significant Detail
For long moments, Shane stayed quiet and still. I’d shocked him.
Good. He needed to understand what he was dealing with. There were lots of good vampires in the world, but there were plenty of bad ones too.
We were headed right for a hotbed of them.
His experience with Marjorie had probably led him to believe all vampires were like her.
“You couldn’t be a murderer,” he finally said. “I don’t believe it.”
“Someone is dead because of me. Several people, actually.”
“Who?”
I peered through a knothole at the Yoders’ lifeless house, at Josiah’s vacant bedroom window. “My friend Josiah, the boy who lived here. We’d been friends since we were two. He liked me.”
“Of course he did,” Shane said, but I ignored his ignorant compliment and kept going.
“We were in an accident on the highway. All of us should probably have died on the scene, but a group of vampires was passing through and found us. One of them turned me.”
I took a deep breath before continuing, remembering that night. “I turned Josiah the next day. I bit him, drank his blood. One of my best friends. I drank his blood. He was the first and last person I ever bit.”
“You were a brand-new vampire,” Shane argued. “Marjorie told me what that was like. I’m sure you didn’t mean to.”
“I did. That’s the thing. I thought about it beforehand, and I chose to do that to him. I told myself I was saving his life, but the end result was still the same. A few days later he came home and slaughtered his parents then took his own life. A whole family wiped out. All their blood is on my hands. Even if I really do live for eternity, I’ll never live that down. I’ll never stop seeing that look in Josiah’s eyes when he told me I should have just let him die in the hospital. He was right.”
“You made a mistake. You’ve gotta stop torturing yourself, Abigail.”
I turned to Shane, angry though I wasn’t exactly sure why.
“Really?” I demanded. “Why? I think it’s only fitting that I torture myself. It’s no less than I deserve.”
Wow—I sound just like Reece.
It was impossible not to think of him in this place. He’d been there that first night of my vampire life. He blamed himself as well.
Now it was Shane’s turn to get angry. His face reddened, and his voice dropped into a lower register.
“Do you think you’re the only person in the world with regrets? The only person who screwed up and can never take it back? I did want to help you, like I said, but you were right—there is another reason I came with you willingly, Abigail... a reason I didn’t escape when I had the chance.”
I blinked. Blinked again. Shane had shocked me. Did he actually have some ulterior motive all along?
“What is it?”
“When I told you about my parents earlier, about how they didn’t approve of me and Marjorie, I left out a rather significant detail.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “They’re vampires.”
Crackling electricity zapped all my senses. “What?”
“My parents are vampires. They weren’t at the time I was seeing Marjorie, when they forced me to break up with her and told me how “evil” she and the rest of the vampire race were. A couple of years later they were both turned—involuntarily. Suddenly they saw vampires a little differently. Suddenly they were asking for understanding and compassion.”
He frowned at the memory of some long-ago conversation. “I didn’t give it to them.”
“You were angry at their sudden change of heart,” I said, getting it completely.
He nodded. “All I could think at the time was what hypocrites they were. They’d forced me to break up with a girl I loved for reasons beyond her control. It was different when it affected them, though. After they turned, they begged my forgiveness, but I didn’t want anything to do with them. I decided to go live with my uncle and aunt. They gladly took me in. They disapproved of my parents’ new lifestyle and didn’t think it was healthy for a human kid to live with a couple of vampires. I didn’t even speak to my parents for a long time. Finally, last Christmas, I called them. I realized I’d been pretty immature about the whole thing. I missed them, and I’d been thinking about it a lot, deciding maybe I’d made a mistake, cutting them off like that.”
“What happened? What did they say?”
He shook his head. “Their phone was disconnected. I drove by the house and saw it had been sold. My uncle never even mentioned to me they were planning to move. I haven’t spoken to them in a couple of years now. I have no idea where they are or how to find them. They didn’t leave a forwarding address or tell anyone where they were going.”
My first thought—a frightening one—was that they’d been taken to a Safety Center like my friends and I had been, like many of our neighbors had been.
Hopefully that wasn’t the case. Perhaps Shane’s parents really had simply elected to move away and start fresh somewhere new. Being here in this barn underlined for me how old memories could haunt a place.
“You thought we might be able to help you find them,” I said rather than asked.
He nodded his confirmation. “I figured if you’re going to a ‘safe place’ as you called it, it’s probably a place with a large population of vampires. Someone there might have met them, might know where they went. My Uncle Glenn is dead. Uncle Terry will die any day now. When that happens, I’ll be alone in the world, without a family. After the way I cut them off, that’s what I deserve. But instead of torturing myself, I decided it was worth a shot to try and find them, to make things right. I at least want the chance to say I’m sorry for how I acted.”
My heart ached for him. Studying his sorrowful face, I considered taking him with us to the Bastion. Someone there might actually know something about his parents.
But I dismissed the notion immediately. I couldn’t take Shane there. I was pretty sure even I wasn’t welcome there, and humans certainly weren’t.
“I wish I could bring you with us. But I can’t.”
He looked crestfallen. “Why not?”
“This place we’re going is dangerous for you. I’m not sure I can adequately express how dangerous it is. There are thousands of vampires, and not a human for miles. You could be killed instantly upon arrival simply for being human.”
“It’s not like I have that much left to live for. As I said, I’m alone. I’m willing to take the chance.”
“That’s not all,” I confessed. “I sort of... got thrown out.”
“What, you? Miss Goody Goody? Don’t tell me you broke the rules?”
“In a way. The ruler there ordered me to do something, and I refused. She banished me. The only reason we’re going there now is we have no other place to turn. I need to get Kelly and Heather somewhere they’ll be safe. And I nee
d help to find out where my friend Larkin is. If she’s been taken to a Safety Center, I have to get her out before something even worse happens to her. There are soldiers there who could help her.”
Shane nodded gravely. “I understand. And I’ll do whatever it takes to help you get home.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, feeling even more guilty now for saying no to his request. “Maybe I can still help you too. When I get there, I could ask around about your parents. If I find out anything, I could call you—that is, when you get a new phone.”
His warm brown eyes filled with affection. “That’ll be the very first thing I do when I get home. I would welcome a call from you—even if you don’t have any information on them.”
His voice softened. “Thank you for being willing to help me, Abigail.”
“Thank you for being willing to help us.”
He grinned. “Look at us... we’re a mini Vampire-Human Coalition.”
“I guess we are.”
For a moment we sat smiling at each other.
Then there was a bang and a flash of light, and I screamed in pain.
24
A Thing for Vampire Girls
“Look out,” Shane yelled.
Launching himself at me, he covered my body with his, blocking the sunlight that had hit me full blast and singed my skin and eyes. The plywood loft door creaked back and forth on its hinges in the wind.
A gust had blown it wide open, leaving a wide shaft of daylight stretching across the loft floor.
Shane’s face above me contracted in concern. “Your forehead and nose are burned.”
“All of me would have been burned if you hadn’t moved so fast. Thank you.”
He was still on top of me, breathing hard from adrenaline. Shane was a thin guy, but he was solidly built, and his body was heavier than I would have thought.
I let out a nervous giggle. “Vampires don’t have to breathe much, but we do need some oxygen.” At his quirked expression of confusion, I added, “You’re crushing me.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry about that.” He lifted a little, propping his upper body on his elbows, which were planted on either side of my shoulders.
Not moving off me, he glanced back over his shoulder. “I’m not sure about what to do here. If I move to go shut the door, the sun will hit you.”
“If it’s just for a second, I’ll be okay. My skin will heal. I can take the pain.”
He shook off my assurance. “I never want anything to hurt you—even for a second.”
In spite of my awkward discomfort, there was a strange sensation in my chest, a sort of thawing and softening that left it feeling tender.
At a loss for words, I simply said, “Thank you,” again.
Shane lifted his head and scanned the loft area. “I was hoping there’d be an old blanket up here or something, but there’s nothing. You think if we yell for Heather and Kelly one of them could help us?”
I crinkled my face in doubt. “Maybe. Once vampires fall asleep, we’re pretty hard to wake. You remember that day in the truck on the way to San Francisco.”
Making sure to stay in Shane’s shadow, I twisted my neck to the side. “Heather. Kelly,” I called out. “Wake up. I need help.”
Nothing. My friends were not Bloodbound soldiers. They were just two regular girls who’d had a very long, stressful day and were exhausted.
When both mine and Shane’s calls went unanswered, we looked at each other and laughed a little.
“I think we’re on our own here,” he said.
“Yep, and my legs are starting to fall asleep.”
“Really?” He shifted his weight, taking more of it onto his knees, which bracketed mine.
“No, not really. But we can’t stay like this all day long.”
Shane gave me a rascally grin. “Oh, I don’t know about that. I’m pretty comfortable myself. I could at least stay here until the sun changes position.”
“Or...” I said, “you could put your arm under me and drag me as you crawl forward until we’re out of the light.”
His delighted expression fell. “I’m more a fan of the stay-here-all-day plan, but you’re right. That could work, too.”
Bracing himself on one elbow and sliding the other arm beneath my waist, Shane began moving us both. We made progress by slow inches.
Each time he lifted me to pull me forward with him, the front of my body pressed against the front of his. One time, we knocked foreheads and both laughed.
But by the time we reached the safety of a shaded area, Shane was no longer laughing. His face appeared strained, and when he moved his arm from beneath me, he didn’t roll off of me. Instead, he stared down into my eyes.
“I do want to find my parents,” he whispered. “But even if I wasn’t looking for them, I would still have wanted to help you.”
I nodded. “I believe you. Can you... move?”
After another long look, he did, shifting his weight and rolling onto his back just next to me. For a moment, we lay side by side, breathing and recovering.
“I’m not sure where along the way this happened, but it’s moved past guilt over my uncles’ actions,” Shane said. “Now it’s much more than that. I care for you, Abigail. You know that by now, don’t you?”
I sighed, looking up at the rafters instead of at his earnest face. “Why?”
My money was on the queen bee pheromones, but I couldn’t tell him about that. Besides, I still didn’t know if it even affected humans.
Shane pushed up on an elbow, rolling onto his side to look down at my face. “What’s that supposed to mean? There’s all kinds of reasons why. You’re smart, funny, sweet… and you’re so beautiful you take my breath away.”
The unexpected comment—and the absorbed expression he wore—stole my breath. “Do you... have a thing for vampire girls or something?”
His smile crashed. He looked hurt. “No. Well, maybe. But it’s not just that. Is it so hard to believe I just like you? That I’m attracted to you?”
Yes. Because I let myself believe that about Reece, and it turned out I was laughably, tragically wrong.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled. “Shane... I don’t know what to say.”
For a long moment he just stared into my eyes. Then his gaze shifted to my lips. “You don’t have to say anything,” he whispered.
Before I knew what was happening, his mouth was on mine. At first, I was so shocked I didn’t respond. And then I did.
The response probably wasn’t the one Shane was looking for. My fangs emerged, and my stomach growled, my thirst roaring to life. He jerked back.
“Oh—I forgot about your blood addiction. Does kissing me bother you?”
Yes. But it wasn’t for the reason he assumed. The second his lips touched mine, a vivid image of Reece had popped into my mind.
“Um... kind of. Listen, I have a confession to make. That story I told you about blood addiction? It is true... about some vampires, like Kelly. But not about me. There’s another reason I wouldn’t drink from you back at your uncle’s house.”
Shane’s brows drew together. “What is it? Do I smell bad or something?”
A surprised laugh barked out of me. “What? No. Why would you ask that?”
“Well, Marjorie said some humans smell better than others. And some smell distinctly unappetizing.”
I rocked my head back and forth. “No. You smell just fine. I didn’t bite you—couldn’t let myself bite you—because of what happened with Josiah.”
“But I already told you I haven’t been bitten that many times. I won’t turn.”
“I can’t be sure of that. There’s a chance that with me, it might take only one bite. I could never do that to another person—certainly not to you after all you’ve done for us. Believe me, you don’t want this life. Especially now with the way things are going under President Parker. It’s a really bad time to be a vampire.”
He nodded in understanding and then he blushed deeply. “So then
...” He stopped and swallowed. “If kissing me doesn’t make you want to bite me... can I kiss you again?”
Sitting up, I scooted away from him. He sat up as well, and his mouth quirked with amusement. “I guess that’s a ‘no.’”
“Shane, I like you. Very much. You are truly a nice guy, and I can’t thank you enough for helping us get this far, for keeping me from flame-broiling a few minutes ago. But I have a history that makes getting involved with anyone difficult.”
“What happened with your friend Josiah doesn’t bother me,” he said. “You had just turned, you’re remorseful about it, and I know you’d never hurt me.”
“That’s not the history I’m talking about. There’s a guy. A vampire.”
His hopeful expression changed into something resembling embarrassment. “Oh. I thought you said you didn’t really date. Well actually you said there was a boyfriend once, but I thought it was in the past.”
The word “boyfriend” seemed so trite, so inadequate to describe what Reece had been to me, but I didn’t know what else to call him, so I didn’t correct Shane.
“It is. It’s over. He’s... not available.”
“I remember. You said he made an ‘eternal commitment’ to someone else.”
“Yes. He did. But the fact he’s not available doesn’t change my feelings. I loved him. I still do.”
Shane reached for my hand, taking it inside his own. “I get it. Just know that I’m here for you—as a friend. And if you ever feel ready for something more...”
I interrupted, fighting tears. “Thanks. We should both try to get some sleep. You’ve got to fly home tomorrow.” And I have to face Imogen.
And Reece.
Giving me a tight smile, Shane said, “You’re right. You three are making me nocturnal. I’m actually starting to get tired at dawn.”
Turning away from the guy who wanted to be with me, I curled up on my side and thought of the one who didn’t.
I wrapped my hand around the pendant that contained his blood, reliving some of the sweeter moments we’d shared, the way he’d looked at me, the times he’d held me... and kissed me.