by Kylie Brant
He’d made a point of talking to her daily, but hurried phone calls were scant satisfaction. The hours he’d been keeping had prevented him from spending any time with her, time he needed to ensure that the bond they’d forged remained strong. She might not be willing to admit it yet, but the fact that she’d insisted on seeing him tonight was surely a good sign.
He pulled up in front of her condo unit and shut off the ignition. She hadn’t given any clue about her state of mind, had, in fact, sounded a little distant on the phone. But it had been easy enough to figure out why she was so anxious to see him when she’d said there was something she had to say to him. In person.
The grin spread wider, and he jogged jauntily toward her door. If Kate wanted to thank him for the work he’d ordered done on her condo, he didn’t mind a bit doing it in person. As he pounded on the new door, he examined it with a critical eye. His men had done as he requested and installed a sturdy model. He had no doubt that all his instructions had been followed to the letter. That was, after all, what he paid his employees for.
He could hear her on the other side of the door, unlocking the dead bolt. The sound filled him with quiet satisfaction. He’d rest a little easier knowing that her home was more secure. No system was burglarproof of course, but thieves were notoriously lazy. If a job was too difficult, most went on to easier pickings.
The door swung inward then, and he let his senses drown in Kate. Her long hair was left down and just a little wild, the way he liked it, the way that sent his imagination rolling. There was nothing the least suggestive about her shorts and top, but her long slim legs didn’t need any fancy adornment to set his mouth watering. He stepped inside and inhaled the light, inherently sexy fragrance that was Kate. He lowered his head for a kiss and found himself embracing empty space. She was already moving into the living room.
He paused for an instant, then turned to shut the door. The security system caught his eye and he spent a few moments inspecting it. It was a top-of-the-line model manufactured by a branch of his company, and he didn’t think any others on the market could match it. He strolled about the condo, checking the windows and, finally, the back door. He turned back to Kate, who was watching him expressionlessly, and grinned.
“Well, what do you think?” He approached her eagerly, feeling like a kid at Christmas, waiting for approval of the gift he’d chosen.
“It…was certainly a surprise.”
His grin faltered a little, and he watched her more closely. She didn’t seem overcome with gratitude. In fact, he was having a hard time reading just what she was feeling.
“I hope you didn’t mind my suggestion to spend the day with Chloe,” he said more tentatively, and thought, hoped, he saw a slight softening.
“I always enjoy spending time with Chloe.”
Relief flickered. She was probably just tired. Spending a day with his daughter would exhaust anyone. The little squirt had more than enough energy for everyone. “I’m sure she loved it, too. And I needed a way to lure you away from your apartment for the day.”
She nodded. “Well, your ‘lure’ was certainly effective. Would you mind explaining, though, just how the workers got inside?”
Something in that cool, collected manner of hers finally registered. This was not a woman who was ready to cover him with kisses for the little surprise he’d arranged. Feeling his way carefully, he said, “Well, I kind of told them…” He broke off when her eyes flashed, then finished the sentence in a mumble. “Where you kept the extra key.”
“I see.” She offered him a brilliant smile, one that was frighteningly detached. “I guess I should be glad you didn’t choose to tell the neighborhood cat burglar.”
“Cat burglars usually climb in through windows,” he explained helpfully. He thought—no, he was sure he saw her back teeth clench.
“I don’t suppose it occurred to you, Michael, when you were arranging this little ‘surprise,’ that I don’t own this condo. My rental agreement stipulates that I cannot make permanent changes to this unit without express permission from the owner.”
“Oh, I got permission,” Michael replied. “You don’t have to worry about that. Your landlord was overjoyed when I explained what I was going to have done.” And why shouldn’t he have been? he thought smugly. This day’s work hadn’t come cheaply, and the materials would stay the property of the landlord once Kate moved out. The man had had nothing to lose and a state-of-the-art security system to gain.
She looked at him then. Her eyes were distant, the smile too bright, with strain at the edges. “Well, aren’t I lucky? It seems you’ve thought of everything. But then, you’re used to that, aren’t you, Michael? Planning sneak maneuvers, takeovers…it all must provide plenty of experience for trying to run other people’s lives. After all, if you know what’s best for a company, you must know what’s best for everyone else, right?”
He blinked. “You’re mad,” he said, a note of wonderment entering his tone.
Her teeth came together with a snap, and she stalked toward him, fairly radiating temper. Her hands slapped against his chest. “Brilliant deduction,” she said through gritted teeth, giving him a shove. The fact that she didn’t even sway him seemed to remove the lid on her simmering emotions, allowing them full boil.
“What in God’s name were you thinking?” she said, her voice rising. “This—” she waved a hand around her condo “—had to have cost hundreds.” Something in his eyes must have alerted her, and she stared hard at him. Aghast, she whispered, “Thousands. Oh, God.” Sinking to the rocking chair, she pressed a hand to her stomach. “Do you know how long it will take me to pay that much money back?”
He scowled and took a step toward her. “Kate…”
She held up a hand to stop him. “Don’t you dare—don’t you even suggest that I accept this from you.”
Wisely, he stopped where he was, but she couldn’t keep him from explaining. “I worry about you. I just wanted to make your place a little safer, that’s all.”
“No,” she corrected him caustically, “what you wanted was to make decisions for me, to control me.”
Astonishment threatened to render him speechless. “Where did you get that idea? Honey, you’re way off base.”
Her head shot up, and her eyes flashed. “Oh, am I? Am I really? Let’s recount what happened here. You think—” the inflection she gave the word made his eyes narrow “—that I could use more security. I tell you that should I wish such measures, I’ll take care of them myself.” Her chin rose challengingly. “Do you remember that particular conversation?”
He jammed his hands into his pockets, hard, and remained stubbornly silent.
“So, knowing that I don’t choose to make those changes to my apartment at this time, you get the brilliant idea of doing it for me. After all, what do I know about what I want, anyway? Surely Michael Friday, the terror of the corporate world, is the best judge of what I need.” She cocked her head at a challenging angle. “Isn’t that about it?”
This conversation was so far removed from the one he’d thought he would be having with her that his mind was having difficulty making the adjustment. Her words were like small, sharp knives slicing at him. He still wasn’t exactly sure how his intentions had gone so awry. All he knew was that each word she uttered was another stone in the wall she was building between them. The knowledge made his chest go tight. His first inclination was to tear down that wall, shatter her defenses in whatever way possible. He used all his willpower to keep his muscles relaxed, his voice even.
“You’re wrong.”
The simple words seemed to ignite her temper further.
“Oh, am I? Am I really?”
Her disbelieving tone stirred the embers of his own temper. He strode over to where she was seated and bent down, shoving his face close to hers. “Yes, you are. I never gave a thought to ‘controlling’ you.”
Her chin tilted up and their faces were so close they were almost touching. Glare for glare
, temper for temper, she matched him. “Then what do you call all this?”
“I call it trying to keep you safe.” Each word was bit out with measured precision. “I call it showing you that I care.”
That last word scored a direct hit. It showed in her eyes, the way they widened. Doubt flickered across her face, and her voice was a little less combative when she spoke again.
“This wasn’t the way to show it.”
He straightened and dragged a hand through his hair.
“You’re telling me.”
“C’mon, Michael, you have to admit it’s not exactly hearts and flowers. I mean, a home security system?” Her voice tapered off a little when he fixed her with a steely look. “It’s not the normal way most men would go about convincing someone, a woman, that they—”
“Care?” he finished for her grimly. “But I’m not most men, am I, Kate? I’ll tell you what kind of man I am. The kind who wants to protect those he cares about. The kind who worries about their safety.”
He saw the recognition in her eyes and knew she was remembering him telling her as much. But because stubbornness and doubt still showed on her face and because they fed the stream of anger he was trying to hold in check, he didn’t let her off the hook. Not yet.
Turning half away from her, he said levelly, “But I can see how you reached the conclusion you did.”
“You can?”
He ignored the cautious hope threading her voice and nodded. “Certainly. You placed a very different interpretation on my actions.”
“Yes, I did.”
“Taken in the worst possible light, I’ll admit you could interpret my actions as controlling.” He paused to read the agreement on her face before adding, “If you’ll admit that I could interpret your actions as trying to use me.”
“Use you?” She bounced out of the chair and approached him. While he watched blandly, her eyes started shooting blue sparks as her temper flared again. She raked him up and down with her gaze. “I’ll admit that you’d make a handy doorstop, but just how else do you figure I could use you?”
He crossed his arms across his chest and met her scowl for scowl. “For sex.”
“Sex!” Mouth hanging open, she stared at him in silent astonishment. When she regained her power of speech, she seemed capable of only a sputter. “You…you…brainless…egomaniacal…big…jerk! If I wanted someone on call for sex, what makes you think I’d mess with you? There are plenty of men willing to fulfill that role who aren’t half as irritating as you are!” She thrust her hand in her hair, turning away from him in disbelief. She must have sensed his slight move toward her, because her elbow shot out and caught him in the stomach. He released a slight whoosh of air.
“As if I were that shallow, that casual…that…that…”
His hands caught her stiff shoulders and turned her gently around to face him. “I know,” he said simply.
Nonplussed, she stared at him, as if wondering if he was trying to drive her crazy. “You know?”
He nodded, feeling a bit more cheerful. “Sure I know. You’re not the type of woman interested in only a physical relationship. You’d have to really care about a man before you’d get involved with him.”
“That’s right,” she agreed, but was stopped short by the beatific smile that spread across his face. He’d boxed her neatly into a corner, and for an instant she looked hunted.
“I accept that,” he said softly, reaching for her, relieved when she didn’t try to avoid his touch. Kneading her shoulders with gentle fingers, he continued, “And I want you to accept that I care about you, too. Maybe this hang-up I have about safety and security for those I care about is just paranoia. But that’s what motivated me, Kate.” He tipped her chin up with one crooked finger. “Caring, not control.”
Her gaze met his for an instant, then skittered away. She moistened her lips, and when she spoke, she was careful not to look at him. “This isn’t what I meant by keeping it simple, Michael.”
His thumbs rubbed some of the knots out of her shoulders. “I told you it couldn’t be simple.” But she was still and tense before him, and a cold premonition pierced him even before she spoke again.
She ducked from beneath his touch slowly, with an awkward movement very different from her usual grace. She seemed to pace aimlessly in the small apartment, but when she came to a stop, the length of the sofa was between them.
His eyes narrowed. That distance wasn’t lost on him.
“I need some time.” She rubbed a weary hand across her forehead, and if her words hadn’t struck him with bolts of terror, he’d have felt sorry for her. She looked almost forlorn standing there. “This isn’t…it isn’t working out the way I thought it could.” She dropped her hand, and her eyes looked haunted. “I have to figure this out. Just please…please, Michael, give me some time.”
She was slipping away from him. Everything inside him wanted to lunge for her, to hold on tight, to prevent her from vanishing from his life. He stayed where he was, his hands fisted at his sides. “You don’t need time. You need to face up to your feelings.” That brought some emotion to her face, to her voice. And he thought he’d much rather be faced with her annoyance than her detachment.
“Oh, so now you’re an expert on my feelings, as well?” she said caustically. “Does that expertise come from the corporate world? Can you take over someone’s thoughts and feelings as easily as you take over a company?”
His mouth flattened and he swallowed a retort, swallowed the anger and fear that threatened to swamp him. Anger and fear wouldn’t get through the wall she put between them, it would only add another brick to it. “Shutting me out won’t solve anything.”
She heaved a huge breath and pushed her hair back from her face. He clenched fingers that itched to follow suit. “I’ll be the judge of that,” she said somewhat shakily. “I want you to leave now, and I’ll let you know if…when I want to see you again.”
He caught her verbal slip. The fear was back, but it was doing battle with pride, and losing. “If that’s what you want.” He’d survived rejection before, and with very little effort would again. Probably. If it left a deep and ragged void in him this time, it would be easy enough to fill. He had Chloe, he had his work, he had… He refused to believe that was emptiness already seeping in. This shot all his plans to hell and back, and maybe that was why he felt as if a vise were squeezing his chest. But that didn’t mean he was going to beg.
Without another word he turned away and walked to the door. His hands were unsteady as they reached for the knob. The sound of the door closing behind him shouldn’t have sounded so final. So bleak.
And it shouldn’t have filled him with a sick certainty that he’d just lost something he could never hope to replace.
Chapter 13
Michael drove like an automaton, his sports car eating up the freeway. It was easier not to think, not to feel. But he knew reaction was only minutes away. Reality wasn’t kind enough to allow numbness to remain permanently.
He roared off an exit ramp, his headlights slicing through the darkness. He drove the car expertly, trying to direct all his awareness into an appreciation for its speed and handling. When he reached the canopied, winding roads of Great Falls, he reluctantly slowed down. He wasn’t interested in wrapping his Jag around one of the huge trees hovering at the roadside.
Feeling was already returning, seeping through his determined resistance. And with it came thought. Both had refused to stay banished for long.
He’d lost her.
The knowledge hammered at the base of his skull in painful dissonance. A roaring in his ears accompanied the certainty, and his gut felt hollow. Somehow, some way, his actions had conspired against him in the most baffling manner and driven a wedge between them. A wedge, hell, he thought bitterly. More like a damn fortress.
The darkness of the night mirrored his soul. Moonlight slivered through the treetops, offering only miserly glimpses of silver. It was for the best. If he tr
ied hard enough, long enough, he’d be able to convince himself of that. He didn’t have the time to spare away from Chloe, from the business to try to get a clue on just how Kate’s mind worked. If she couldn’t accept the fact that someone cared about her, that was her problem.
But right now it was feeling a lot like he was the one with the problem. The air in the car seemed to shrink and go stale. Taking each curve and dip of the shadowy road with unconscious ease, he hit the buttons to lower the electric windows. The balmy night air rushed into the confines of the vehicle but failed to relieve his strangled lungs.
He hauled in a giant breath. Okay, so forgetting his plans for a relationship with Kate Rose wasn’t going to be easy. But he’d faced disappointment before, hadn’t he? He was a master at weighing the odds and cutting his losses when they didn’t stack up favorably. There was no reason for this situation to be any different. He’d clouded it with emotions, always dangerous. But he was through with those emotions now, ready to lock them away, and he hoped like hell he never had to deal with them again.
Lord, it was stifling in here. His hand went to the tie he’d loosened hours ago, yanking it free from his shirt. His fingers tripped over themselves working a couple more shirt buttons open. The task didn’t relieve the suffocating grip on his lungs. He was lucky this thing with Kate had ended before he’d gotten in any deeper. He’d always hated to walk away from a situation he’d invested heavily in. This wasn’t business, of course, but a personal relationship followed the same rules, didn’t it? And he really didn’t have that much invested in Kate. After all, it wasn’t as if he were in lo—
His fingers froze on the wheel. A creature of the night scampered across the road in front of him and froze there for an instant, reflecting his own immobility. When it raced to safety, his half-formed errant thought did the same.