Text from Rosy: What the hell are you doing in Italy? There are some amazing places to climb here! You could come home to make your commercials and give the resort some free publicity at the same time. Also, who’s the ho you’re with? I don’t like it.
Text from Arabella: Got your messages. Sorry I missed you. I was on that conference call all afternoon with the Equal Everywhere Campaign committee. We have much to do before the big conference next week. Sorry to hear about the rain delay and the problem with the camera angle. Can’t believe you have to reshoot the entire thing. You must be exhausted, what with climbing all day and partying all night. ;) BTW, apparently the entire world thinks we broke up or were never a real couple to begin with. Urgh. Fingers crossed that you and I can curl up and watch episode two together Thursday night. The rest of my family seems to have begged off, so I’ll be alone at Arthur and Tessa’s babysitting the twins while the show airs. A and T have a state dinner they forgot about. Father decided not to watch any more episodes on account of all the implied sex, and Gran has a hot date. If you do come, I’ll whip us up a batch of my award-winning brownies. I’m off to bed. Championing women’s rights around the globe is tiring work. Good night, darling!
Text from Emma: Dude, are you and Arabella okay? I keep seeing stuff online that you broke up. Is that true? Are you really in Thailand with some hottie climbing woman?
Text from Kenneth: Will, get down to the restaurant already. Lara just came up with an amazing plan for the commercial. We need a quick meeting to discuss the change of plans.
“Shit.” I roll out of bed and stand, unable to fully appreciate the mountain view from my hotel suite on account of my pounding head and my quivering gut. Between my hangover and the fact that I need to get back to Valcourt stat to fix my relationship, I’m a bit of a mess.
My phone rings. Harrison’s name flashes across the screen.
I sigh, then answer it. “Hey, buddy, what’s up?”
“Just wanted to give you a heads-up not to answer if Emma or Rosy call. They’re totally freaking out that you’re cheating on Arabella.”
I sigh and scratch the stubble on my chin. “That’s a little insulting.”
“Agreed. I told them you’d never do that.” He pauses, clearly waiting for me to elaborate.
“The mystery woman is the new girlfriend of Kenneth Abernathy. She’s a model.”
“Obviously.”
“He’s putting her in the commercials to keep her happy. She can’t even climb.”
“Ah, that all makes sense now,” he says, then quickly adds. “Of course I knew there was some simple explanation, but you know how Rosy and Emma can get.”
“I’m glad I could clear that up for them,” I answer, putting extra emphasis on the them so he knows that I know he also thinks I could be a cheater.
“Brilliant,” he says in a slightly sheepish tone. “How are things going there?”
“Good and bad,” I say, tugging on a pair of shorts. “Kenneth’s got the ability to really make my career. He’s even been talking about giving me my own line of outdoor gear.”
“Seriously? That’s incredible, Will.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty crazy. The timing is nuts. Season three just started, and it’s like a whole new world is opening up—one with money for a change.”
“Wouldn’t that be nice?”
“It would,” I say, making my way to the bathroom to put toothpaste on my brush.
“What’s the bad bit?” Harrison asks.
“I promised Belle I’d be back last night at the latest, but we got rained out, then yesterday’s filming had to be scrapped because the lighting was off. When I left, things were on a bit of an… awkward note, I guess you could say. I really need to get back there to smooth everything over.”
My phone buzzes and I see Kenneth’s name. “I got to go, Harrison. I’m late getting downstairs for a breakfast meeting and my sort-of boss is calling.”
“Okay, hang in there,” he says. “Get it? Cause you’re climbing?”
“Got it. Bye.”
“Bye.”
“There’s the man!” Kenneth shouts as I cross the restaurant with a plate of toast and packets of jelly in one hand and a large glass of freshly squeezed orange juice in the other.
I smile and give him a nod, even though my spinning head would much prefer if I were to lie very still for another couple of hours. How is it possible that he doesn’t look in the slightest bit hung over? After all the shots he did last night? His 6-foot supermodel girlfriend hangs off his arm at the shiny round wooden table. She’s got oversized sunglasses on, and, based on what I can see of her face, she feels about as good as I do. Kenneth, however, having dedicated his life to the pursuit of optimal health, is a 42-year-old man with the stamina of a steam engine. He just keeps going and going. But to be fair, he doesn’t spend the entire day climbing. He goes up once, then hangs around at the bottom waiting while the commercial is being filmed.
“That’s not all you’re going to eat, is it?” He asks, eyeing my plate as I set it down. “Oh, don’t tell me you’re hung-over!” he says, laughing far too loud for this hour in the morning.
“Only a little,” I say, sliding into my chair.
“Well, no worries. We won’t leave for the climb until three. The light should be perfect by then.” He kisses Lara on the top of her head. “And this one should be feeling up to shooting by then, too.”
Three? Son of a bitch. I sit down and do my best to sound indifferent. “Oh, I thought we were going right after breakfast so we could fly back tonight.”
Kenneth takes a massive bite of scrambled eggs, then has a sip of some kind of disgusting green drink before answering. “Change of plans. Lara had a terrific idea. We should go for a multidimensional commercial so that our customers can imagine themselves using our products in more than one place.”
“Yes,” Lara says, nodding slightly. “As beautiful as it is here, it’s really expensive in the alps. We should try to incorporate places that are more accessible to the average person.”
“She’s so smart, isn’t she?” Kenneth asks.
“Yes, very,” I say. “But, back to this other location idea. Are we talking in the near future because I do have to get back to—”
“Yes,” Kenneth says. “The best thing is to keep the momentum we’ve got right now. Besides, Giorgio is available for the next week so we should take advantage.”
Giorgio is the director. He’s from Trieste, and Kenneth has him shoot all of his commercials, and the fact that he’s available isn’t actually a positive as far as I’m concerned. Kenneth calls him ‘a true artist,’ and if by that he means total ball-buster, I’m in agreement. It’s like he thinks we’re making an arthouse film that’ll be up for a cinematography Oscar instead of a commercial for carabiner clips that’ll play while people are waiting for their YouTube videos to start. He’s the reason we ended up here for an extra day so the last thing I want to do is go to a second location with him.
My heart drops to the tile floor as I try to think of a way out of this.
Lara picks at the fruit on her plate, then sets her fork down. “We’re thinking Moonlight Buttress in Zion National Park, Utah.”
Kenneth gives me a ‘how about it?’ smile.
“Utah?” I say, quickly calculating my flight time in my head. Well, not that I can actually come up with it, but I’m assuming it’s really fucking long. “Sure, but could we stop in Avonia on our way, perhaps?”
It’s not on the way at all, but I have to try.
“You seem really intent on getting back there, Will.”
Nodding, I say, “Truth be told, I am a little concerned about Arabella. Things have not exactly been easy since the first episode aired, and I definitely should be there to support her.”
“Why don’t you invite her to come along?” Kenneth asks, leaning back in his chair and wrapping his arm around Lara’s shoulder. “Whisk her away from her worries.”
“Oo
h, yes!” Lara says, suddenly perking up a bit. “It’ll be fun—kind of like a wild several-day double date. She could climb too. Then I won’t look like the worst one out there.”
I hold back the defensive retort on the tip of my tongue and exchange it for a clearing of my throat. “Well, I can ask her, but she’s getting ready for a United Nations Conference next week so I can’t see her being able to drop everything to join us.”
“Invite her, and either way, we’ll carry on,” Kenneth says. “At least if you’ve extended the invitation, she can’t be mad at you for not coming back when ordered.”
“Oh, hey,” I say, holding up my palms. “She didn’t order me to come back. In fact, she’s been extremely supportive of what we’re doing. It’s just that with the show and all, she could use a friendly face, even if I’m only there for two days, maybe?”
He gives me that ‘you better play ball look’ he gets once in a while when I’m not necessarily on board with his latest idea. It’s the kind of thing a guy like him gets to do because he holds all the cards. And since he’s pretty much the only person waving huge wads of cash in my face, I should grab my glove and get in the game.
“What about Germany?” I ask, offering him a location that’s closer to Avonia. “We could head over to Devil’s Crack. Amazing scenery, totally different than what we’ve got here, and they’ve got some terrific short climbs that would be perfect for all three of us, really.” I offer an amiable smile to Lara, who wrinkles up her nose.
Kenneth shakes his head, “Been there, done that, you know. Ooh! What about Railay Beach in Thailand? It’s supposed to be amazing, and that long flight will give us ample time to hash out some ideas for your new outdoor gear line.”
Oh, shit. How do I turn that down? It is literally my best chance at giving Arabella the life she deserves, and, based on what I’ve seen of her family so far, she desperately needs out. I nod, even though I know that in the short term, this is a very bad idea. “Sounds perfect.”
Thailand - Friday Morning Indochina Time
“Christ, I’ve missed your voice,” I say to Arabella, who has finally picked up the phone after the sixth attempt on my part. I’m sitting on the bed in my hotel room, staring out at the unbelievably beautiful Andaman Sea, but instead of enjoying the view, I’m miserable. “Actually, I’ve missed all of you. How’s my favourite girl?”
“Fine,” she says, in a slightly formal tone. “Doing really well despite everything.”
Uh-oh. “That doesn’t sound good. What’s going on?”
Arabella lets out a long sigh. “Nothing worth talking about. How’s life in Railay Beach? Hot and fabulous?”
Shit. She’s mad. And she has every right to be. Twice now, I’ve promised to come back, and both times, I broke it. When I told her we were boarding a flight to Thailand, there was a pause on the line that was so long, I checked my phone to make sure we weren’t disconnected. “Honestly, it’s kind of tiring, even for me. Kenneth’s like an animal. I don’t know how the guy never runs out of energy. He literally does not need to sleep.”
“Cocaine?” she suggests.
I bust out laughing, and she joins me. After a moment, I say, “God, it feels good to laugh with you. I wish you were here.”
“Me, too,” Arabella says. “But you’ll be back soon enough. No sense in dwelling on it.”
“Pivot and press on, right?” I ask.
“Right.”
I lie back on the bed and stare up at the slowly spinning fan above my head. “Did you find anyone to watch the show with you tonight?”
“Dexter,” she says, trying to sound upbeat about it.
“I’m sorry, sweetie, I wish I could be there.”
“Oh, it’s not all bad. I’ll crack open some wine and a bag of crisps and curl up on the couch with my other favourite pig.”
“Hey, was that a shot?”
“If you have to ask, it means I missed.”
“Ha! Good one.” I glance at the bedside clock, then immediately wish I hadn’t because it means I have to hang up. “Listen sweetheart, I have to run. I’m hoping today is the last day of filming, but Giorgio is such a perfectionist, I honestly don’t know if we can get it wrapped up.”
“Sounds awful,” she says, sounding less than sincere.
“I want you to know that if this wasn’t so important for my career, I would never want to be away from you for this long.”
“I know.”
“I feel terrible about it, but these types of opportunities don’t come along very often.”
“Don’t worry about it. I understand.”
“That’s why you’re the best.” I close my eyes for a second, hating like hell that I have to ring off. “Okay, I better get going. Love you.”
“You too.”
Bugger. She always says I love you too, but that time she went with ‘you too’ which tells me I have to get my arse back to Avonia as soon as humanly possible.
15
If You’re Going to Jump, It Might as Well Be to Conclusions…
Arabella
Episode Two
“Good evening, I’m Dylan Sinclair, your host of ABN’s hit show, Princess in the Wild!” Dylan fans her arm out to point to a large screen behind her, displaying the show’s thumbnail shot. “Tonight, the ugliness continues as Will Banks and Princess Arabella show just how different they are. We’ll also hear some shocking revelations about royal life from the very lips of Princess Arabella herself, and see what happens on their first night together in the jungle. Will they or won’t they?” she asks, grinning into the camera.
“But first, a recap of last week’s show.”
“Oh, great,” I say to Dexter, who is lying beside me on Arthur and Tessa’s couch, his head resting on my leg. “Like I really need to see that again.”
Flashes of me in those short shorts start up, then Will calling me ‘useless’ and demanding that I be left behind, now me rappelling from the helicopter complete with bleeping. Now, I’m clomping behind him and holding my middle fingers in the air. And it all wraps up with him suggesting it wouldn’t be a tragedy if I break my neck.
Dylan comes back on and says, “And a quick preview of what’s in store for you tonight…”
Cut to me sobbing loudly and yelling, “I’ve had to use the loo for hours now and I’m afraid to ask how that even works because I hate you so much and I just know it’s going to be horrifyingly embarrassing and likely you’ll have to stand guard while I squat somewhere only to end up wiping my arse with some sort of plant that will cause a horrible rash!”
“Perfect. Just perfect,” I say, as the commercial break starts. I sigh, glancing at my phone, even though I know Will is busy filming his commercial and won’t likely be texting me for hours. I look down at my date, who is slobbering on my sweatpants. This is a new low, even for me. “You want some crisps, buddy?”
Dexter lifts his head and slides his huge grey body off the couch.
“You know what that means, don’t you?” I ask, getting up. “Almost makes me want to stop eating bacon.”
He follows me to the kitchen and parks himself directly in front of the cupboard where the junk food is kept. I open it, trying not to think about how pathetic I am, spending my last night before I go to Vienna alone, babysitting. Oh well, at least I’ll also be torturing myself with footage of me having a total meltdown. That should add some fun to the evening.
A couple of minutes later, Dexter and I are back in the living room munching on classic salt-flavoured crisps out of my brother’s best china.
The show starts up again and Dylan leads in with, “We’ll pick up where the unlikely pair left off last week. They were just about to set up camp for the night. As you’ll see, the first day of hiking proved to be too much for our royal co-host. She’s about to fall apart in a huge way…”
Footage of me gingerly rappelling down what I now see is a rather short cliff starts up. When I reach the bottom, Will says, “Hey, that was pretty good
. You didn’t shout any curse words that time.”
I glare at him. “That’s because I’ve lost my will to live. At this point, between being faced with the prospect of spending another few days out here with you or just ending it all quickly, the second option sounds far more appealing to me.”
“Ooh, that was offside, wasn’t it, Dex? Now, I’m kind of glad Will isn’t here.”
“The first day is always the worst,” Will says.
“Oh, is it?” I quip.
I clomp over to the stream and crouch down, plunging my hands into the water, but Will’s voice stops me. “Oh, don’t do that. We need to boil that first.”
“Obviously I wasn’t about to drink it. I only meant to splash some on my face.”
“That’s a total lie. I was definitely going to drink it,” I say, popping a crisp in my mouth.
“Don’t do that either,” Will says. “You could get a parasite in your nose or mouth, and it’ll be game over.”
I stand and shake my hands off, scowling.
“God, I look like a total brat, don’t I?” Glancing down at Dexter, I add, “Don’t answer that.”
“I can have our camp set up in about fifteen minutes, but it’ll be a good two to three hours until we can eat.”
“No. That can’t be right.” I take my backpack off and drop it, then crouch, unzip it, and start taking everything out. “We must have some protein bars or something. They wouldn’t have sent us out here to starve.”
“We’re not going to starve. We’re going to survive. Did you not understand the premise of the show?”
“Yeah, I got it, thank you,” I snap, scowling at him. “I’m just a bit hangry right now is all.”
“Well, the good news is we’re surrounded by vegetation and protein sources. Since the rhino beetles weren’t your thing, I’ll catch us some fish and dig up some wild yam tubers. In about three hours, we’ll be nice and full.”
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