by Virna DePaul
“Oh no,” he said, trying very hard not to look amused.
“Oh no is right. The old guy tried to roll away, and I took one step in his direction. Both of my feet went out from under me, and within seconds I was sitting in a creamy, nutritious pool of Ensure.”
Ryan laughed. Annie pretended to be annoyed with him, but in truth it had been what she was going for. She loved it when he was happy, and she loved it even more when she was the one who made him that way. She’d fall on her ass any day just to see him smile.
“Thank you,” he told her when he finally stopped laughing. “I needed that.”
“I live to serve,” she said with a smile and bow of her head.
“Did you hurt yourself when you fell?”
“Nope.” She swatted her hip. “Still plenty of padding left to cushion my fall.”
His gaze dropped to her lower half, and his hand twitched, as if he was imagining touching her there. He looked…aroused. Pupils dilated. Cheeks red. Nostrils flared. Eyes dark and blazing with some kind of inner fire. Feeling like the temperature had gotten twenty degrees warmer, she licked her lips and leaned slightly closer to him.
He blinked and suddenly his expression went blank. He reached out and held her hand between his. “So nothing else is going on? How are you, really?”
Annie wanted to snatch her hand away and slap him. God, the way he’d looked at her, she would’ve sworn…
But no. Her mistake. Again.
She forced herself to say, “I’m good, Ryan.”
He didn’t seem to believe her.
“What?”
He cleared his throat. “Nothing. Have you been thinking of your mom?”
Ah, so that’s what was going on. “I miss her,” she admitted. Of course she did. She missed her mom so much, but the reason she continued celebrating Jean Marie Christmas was so she could focus on all the wonderful moments she’d had with her, not the sad times. Ryan knew that, but he always checked in to make sure she was okay. “I talked to Dad and Janie.” Janie was Annie’s sister, who’d followed in Annie’s wake and celebrated Jean Marie Christmas, too. Usually they celebrated together, but her sister had moved to Chicago a couple of years back, and it was harder for them to get together. “They’re good.”
“I’m glad.” Releasing her hand, he leaned back on the couch, arms spread on the back. “So…I know we normally wait until after dinner to exchange gifts, but I thought we could get to the gifts early this year.”
Looking toward the Christmas tree, Annie immediately spotted the new gift nestled next to the box with the…special toy. Despite herself, she blushed, but covered it by jumping up. “Oh goodie! I’ll grab yours, you grab mine, and let’s meet back here.” As if the five feet back to the couch would be some significant journey. But he just stood and then joined her again on the couch with the gift.
“You first,” she said.
He ripped through the wrapping and opened the box. As he lifted the gift from the paper, she watched his face anxiously. He wasn’t smiling anymore, and as he pushed the button on the front of the frame and stared at the screen, she winced, wondering if she’d made a mistake.
She’d gotten him a digital album and loaded it with pictures. There were several of them, and she’d forced herself to include the ones taken before she lost weight because she wouldn’t have been in the album otherwise. There were also pictures of his family, his friends, and his dog, Butter, who’d passed away suddenly, just before Ryan had left for Northern California. He’d loved that dog, and so had Annie. He’d had him since he was sixteen years old. But maybe it was too soon—
He laid a hand over his heart. “I love it, Annie. Thank you.”
He reached out and hugged her. Once again, she felt equal amounts of affection and lust zing through her body, concentrating between her legs. Truth was, that place always ached when she was around Ryan. Bigger truth was, it ached when she simply thought of him, and despite her whole transformation agenda, she still thought of him all the time. Biggest truth? He was the reason she’d visited Sweet Sensations in the first place. After several nights of dreaming about him, of the two of them doing all kinds of nasty and wonderful things to each other, she’d felt so empty and frustrated she’d decided to do something about it. More than she usually did, that is, which was get herself off the old-fashioned way.
Hopefully her naughty list would pave the way for better things and rid her of this longing once and for all. Maybe it would help her finally accept that Ryan would always be her friend but nothing more. Hopefully it would kick-start a whole new segment of her life, one where she didn’t have to fear Ryan would someday figure out how much she wanted him and things would get beyond awkward between them.
She pulled away from him and folded her hands in her lap. “I’m glad you like it.”
“Now you,” he finally said.
Flustered, she snatched up his gift.
She opened it with far more care than he’d shown.
Ryan was great at gift giving. And he had exquisite taste. She could tell from the packaging that he’d gotten her another piece of jewelry, which was awesome, considering she never bought jewelry for herself. The earrings she wore almost every day were from him, and so was her watch.
She lifted the lid to the box and gasped.
It was a necklace, with a dainty diamond heart.
She touched it and whispered, “It’s beautiful.”
She threw her arms around him, hugging him tight. Letting go of the restraint she’d been forcing herself to exercise.
“Not as beautiful as you,” he said.
Closing her eyes, she relished his words and his closeness.
When he moved to pull away from her, however, she found herself hanging on. She squeezed his arms, so hard her nails pinched his skin and he gasped.
Swiftly, she let go and pulled back.
His gaze met hers. Hot. Intense.
His gaze flickered to her mouth.
Time stopped.
The air around them quivered.
Shimmered.
Her pulse accelerated.
Her breathing grew ragged.
God, he looked like he wanted to kiss her.
Not as a friend, but as a lover.
But that didn’t surprise her as much as what he did next.
He leaned in and actually did it.
He kissed her.
It wasn’t the peck on the lips he often gave her.
Nor was it a full-on open-mouthed kiss with tongue.
It was somewhere in between.
It was a gentle graze.
It was a quick flick.
It was a hint of teeth and pressure that increased slightly, then slightly more, before vanishing.
It was both sweet and hot.
It left her confused.
And when he pulled away, it left her wanting more.
Much, much more.
* * *
Ryan felt like he’d been sucker-punched multiple times.
Mother of God, he’d kissed Annie. And not the chaste way he usually did, but with heat. Passion. And with the intense desire to pull her deeper. Kiss her harder. To open her mouth and plunge his tongue inside.
Taste her.
Take her.
He’d had to force himself to pull away.
The feel of her mouth had been incredible.
He knew what her lips felt like—he’d given her sedate kisses over the years. The first time was in college, after he hadn’t seen her for a while and was so excited when she showed up at his dorm on a prearranged visit that he’d grabbed her and given her a big smack on the lips. But like all the others that followed it, that kiss had been closed-mouth.
Not like this kiss.
Kissing her had nothing to do with her new look. Annie’s new look was hot, but he’d always found her sexy as hell—in high school, he’d been in love with her, but he’d accepted she didn’t feel the same way.
When he’d kissed her jus
t now…
He stared at her, trying to get a feel for her emotional state. Had she been turned on? Had she wanted him to keep going? But her gaze flickered away from his, and she had a bright smile on her face, nothing to indicate heat was rushing through her system the way it was rushing through his.
“Thanks again for the lovely gift,” she said, but in contrast to her smile, her tone was cold.
He almost winced. Great. She was upset. No wonder. What the hell had he been thinking, kissing her like that?
Say something, Ryan. And not about her trip. Not about her list. He was dying to confront her about it, but she was obviously hiding it from him, and the last thing he wanted was to make her feel cornered. He cleared his throat. Forced himself to smile as he pushed her hair behind her ear. “You’re welcome. So…dinner…”
She jolted and jumped to her feet. “Um, right. I should check on dinner. I’ll be right back.”
He watched her tinkering around in her kitchen while he tried to get a hold of his scrambling thoughts. He kept wanting to draw her in for another kiss. Or twenty.
“Dinner’s ready,” she called out. The smell of chicken piccata wafted out with her, but Ryan’s mouth watered for something else altogether.
Another taste of Annie.
“Ryan?”
“Yeah?”
“Dinner’s ready.”
He got up and went over to the table. Annie had it all set up with her Christmas china. She’d served up a salad for each of them. She heaped a pile of linguini on his plate and handed him the bowl with the main dish in it. He noticed she skipped the noodles and took only a small piece of chicken for herself.
“It looks great,” he said as he scooped the chicken dish onto his noodles.
“Thanks. I hope it tastes good. I added some artichoke hearts tonight.”
“I love artichokes.”
“I know,” she told him with a smile. “I was thinking about the time you ate the whole jar of the pickled ones back in high school. Our senior year. Do you remember?”
He winced. “How could I forget? I was sick for two days. It was your fault, really.”
“How do you figure that?”
“I was so caught up in learning what you were teaching me that I wasn’t even paying attention to how many I was eating. You should have warned me.”
She laughed again. “Yeah, I’m sure you were enthralled by my math lesson. I never suspected you’d eat the whole jar until I happened to glance over and they were all gone.”
“It was English not math,” he said.
“Really?”
“Yup. You were the only one who could make me enjoy English. You made me want to learn. You should have never stopped teaching me. If you hadn’t, I’d be as smart as you are now.”
“What are you talking about? You’re a really smart guy, Ryan. You just didn’t have the high grades because you were too busy chasing the cheerleaders to concentrate on school, that’s all.”
“Yeah, I guess high school does come with a lot of distractions,” he said. Annie had been one of those distractions. She just hadn’t known it. Learning with her had been fun, but making himself stop thinking about her after tutoring time ended had been beyond difficult. In the end, he’d moved past all that.
At least, he thought he had.
“So how’s Samantha? You haven’t mentioned her once since you’ve been back. Afraid I’ll be jealous?”
He glanced over. She was obviously joking, but she wouldn’t look at him. Her cheeks were flushed.
“We broke up right before I got back.”
Her eyes widened and her mouth fell slightly open. “You broke up? Why didn’t you say anything at the wedding?”
He shrugged. “Didn’t think about it.”
She suddenly started looking around the room and playing with her hair. “Oh. Well, that’s terrible that you broke up.”
“Is it? Why?”
She looked a little startled by his question, but he really wanted to know. She didn’t comment much about the women he dated. He usually figured it was because she didn’t like them. When she’d met Sam, she’d made a big deal of it, telling him how perfect she was, that she could see it going somewhere long-term. He’d wondered about it at the time. Sure, he’d liked Sam, but it hadn’t been a case of love at first sight, so he’d found Annie’s enthusiasm odd.
“Annie?” he urged when she still didn’t answer him. “Why’s it terrible that we broke up?”
“Well…I don’t know. You seemed to really like her.”
He shrugged. “She was nice. Definitely pretty. But since I knew I’d be heading north for two months, I didn’t take it too seriously. No surprise, given the long-distance thing hardly ever works out.”
“Well, yeah, but…”
“But what?”
“I don’t know. I just thought you were happy.”
“What makes you think I’m not now?”
“Jeez, what is this, an inquisition? So you broke up. Fine. Really. I forgot I was talking about someone who avoids commitment at all costs. I’m sure you’re ready and willing to move on. Yay.” She gave him a friendly thump on the arm, a clear indication she wanted to drop the topic.
But for some reason, he couldn’t. “Because I’m always willing to move on, you mean? You think I should be trying to settle down with just anyone?”
She stiffened and averted her gaze. “Not what I’m saying at all,” she said. “In fact, I think you’re right to play the field.”
“You do?”
“There’s a lot of great people out there to meet. A lot of fun to be had. So why not? We’re young, right? Now that I’ve lost the weight, I’m looking forward to testing the waters.”
“Wow.” How had this suddenly turned into a conversation about her trolling for guys? It was that damn list, he thought. “I don’t know. You seemed pretty happy when you were in a relationship with that guy. The doctor.”
Her expression flickered. “That was two years ago. Daniel was great. But there wasn’t a lot of chemistry. And to be honest, even as brilliant as he was, he was a little boring. Aside from work, he never wanted to leave the house.”
“There’s a lot to be said for someone who can be happy staying at home. Look at us.” He cringed. Almost couldn’t believe the words had come out of him. But an Annie who enjoyed staying at home with her boyfriend seemed, if not ideal, at least preferable to an Annie who was out there hooking up with random men.
“We’re different,” she said, looking at him strangely. “There’s nothing romantic going on between us, so I wouldn’t expect us to go out for a night on the town. But with a man I was going to…”
“What? Marry?”
She tilted her chin up. “With any man I’m involved with romantically, I want to be able to have fun in a lot of different places, not just home.”
“And Daniel wasn’t fun?”
She pressed her lips together before saying, “Not fun enough.” She put her hands on her hips. “Since when are you a Daniel fan anyway? You always said he was a pompous ass.”
“I’m not. He is. And anyway, you’re right.” He took a deep breath before slowly releasing it. “You should be with a guy who can show you a good time. One who knows he’s the luckiest man alive for getting to share your bed. Your life.” His fists clenched at the thought of Annie meeting such a man on her trip to Vegas.
Her gaze lowered. “Thanks.” For an instant, she looked sad, but when she glanced up, her expression was friendly and sincere. “And you should have a relationship with a woman that no amount of time or distance can damage. A woman who’d climb mountains to make you hers. A woman who’ll fight for you. Obviously, Samantha wasn’t her.”
He shrugged. “What if that woman doesn’t exist?”
“She does. And when you meet her, you’ll know it.”
He laughed. “You’re something else.”
“A good something else, or a bad one?”
“All good.”
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He meant it in the best way possible.
So he didn’t understand the sudden shadow that darkened Annie’s expression, or the quick twist of her mouth before she stood and excused herself.
Chapter Three
After Ryan left, confusion reigned supreme in Annie’s head. What was up with that kiss? Had she imagined how amazing it had been? And how not platonic?
Exhaling loudly, she plopped down onto the sofa. It had to have been a platonic kiss that had just lasted a little too long. Otherwise, he’d be here. Her crush on Ryan was something she was putting behind her. She wasn’t going to dwell on one Christmas kiss. But God, it wasn’t easy to forget him after he’d kissed her in a way that had her body tingling in all the right places.
"Ugh!” Frustrated, she tried to shove the thought of kissing Ryan out of her mind and went through the motions of her nightly routine—washing her face, brushing her teeth. Then she double-checked that she had packed everything she needed for Vegas. She’d almost forgotten to pack the diet pills. Can’t have that. Quickly, she dumped the bottle into her carry-on, right next to a box of condoms and her birth control packet. Paige was the only one she’d told about the diet pills, and her friend had lectured Annie on using them. Yeah, Annie wasn’t thrilled with the side effects, but she’d only need them temporarily. Besides, wasn’t heart health important, too? Given that high cholesterol ran in her family, she figured losing the weight, no matter which way she did it, was more important.
Why, then, had she not told Ryan that she was taking diet pills? Maybe for the same reason she hadn’t told him about her trip to Vegas. Because he’d worry. Maybe even judge. Even if he didn’t, she needed to pull away from him a little. And, frankly, she’d be way too embarrassed to tell him about her naughty list.
Annie climbed into bed and set her alarm. After turning off the lamp on her nightstand, she snuggled down into the covers and tried to sleep.
Didn’t happen.
Instead, she lay there, wide awake, replaying Ryan’s kiss.