by Amanda Paris
“Let’s get her out of here, away from the pool,” I heard Ben say, lifting me. I still had not found my voice.
“Emily, can you hear me?” Ben asked gently as we walked. I nodded, burying my face in his shoulder. I still had the lingering sensation of danger. Who was this woman haunting my dreams and literally trying to kill me? Could I have imagined all of this in my panic?
The locker room had cleared, and Ben set me down on one of the benches, making sure that I wouldn’t fall over. He must have signaled for Annie and Zack not to follow because it was just the two of us.
He grabbed a few towels and started drying me off as best he could, trying to make me warmer. I was shivering and not just from the cold.
“You really should take off those clothes. You’ll never get warm if you stay in them. I have some shorts and a t-shirt in my locker. You can take a hot shower and change. I’ll keep watch,” he said.
“No!” I screamed, finally finding my voice as I contemplated going near any water again, even to take a harmless shower.
“It’s okay,” Ben said, wrapping his arms around me. I realized then that I’d begun to sob, terrified by what had happened to me.
When the heavier heaving had subsided, Ben wiped the last of my tears away.
“Why don’t you just change, then, right here. I promise to turn around,” he said in a teasing voice meant to distract me.
“You won’t go away?” I asked, desperately needing not to be alone right then, especially after what I’d seen in the pool. I knew where all the scratches and marks came from and that I would have bruises the next day.
“No, I’ll be right here. I’ll always be here,” Ben said, kissing my forehead and stroking my wet hair.
He retrieved some dry clothes from his locker and looked away, giving me some privacy to change. I peeled off my wet t-shirt and jeans, toweled myself, and put on his dry shorts and shirt, which smelled delightfully of him—fresh and somehow strong, like him. The feeling of panic subsided, and I could feel myself growing calmer.
“Okay, you can turn around,” I said.
He turned around and smiled, putting his arms around me.
“Looks good,” he said, and we both laughed. Given our height and size differences, his clothes definitely hung on me, and I had to hold the shorts together to keep them up.
“Are you ready to go back out?” he asked.
“Not just yet. Ben, I’m so sorry about last night. Things just haven’t been normal lately,” I said, wanting to make amends.
“And?” he prompted.
“And I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“And?”
“Okay, and I love you.”
“Now, was that so hard?” he asked, squeezing my arm.
I started to feel a little better. I began to have a strong suspicion, though, that his responsiveness to Angela was more to send me a message than to encourage her. I wondered if she knew that.
He pulled one of my wet curls and smiled down at me.
We left the locker room, where Annie and Zack stood waiting for us. Everyone else had already disappeared except for Angela, who still sat in the bleachers. She smirked at me as I came out.
“Are you okay?” Annie asked, hugging me to her.
“Yeah,” I said, starting to feel really embarrassed. I could feel the blush creep into my cheeks.
“Zack and a couple of the guys wanted to go fishing,” Ben said. “Will you be okay?”
“Sure,” I said.
“Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of her,” Annie said.
“We won’t be too long,” Ben said, flashing me one of his best smiles.
“I’m taking her to the mall,” Annie answered. Shopping was her remedy for everything. I didn’t feel much like going, but I didn’t want to go home, either.
“I think I need to dry my hair first,” I said, laughing a little. I was glad I didn’t feel so anxious. My eyes darted to the pool, and I couldn’t help but wonder what lurked beneath the surface of the water, now serene. My feet must have led me there because I was to the edge and almost over again before I knew it, almost as though I was led beyond my control.
“Whoa, there,” Ben said, taking me by the arms and pulling me back. Zack, Annie, and he cast worried glances at each other. Ben took a firm grasp of waist to steer me away from the side.
“Let’s meet up for dinner,” Ben suggested casually, carefully avoiding what almost happened again.
“What time?” I said hesitantly.
“I’ll pick you up around six. I don’t think the Saratoga would make it,” he said, laughing a little nervously.
“Ha-ha. Very funny,” I answered, glad that he was teasing me in a familiar way after the trauma I’d had.
Just before we left the pool, he pulled me close and kissed me, almost directly in front of Angela’s line of sight. I could feel her fume, her eyes burning into my back.
Take that, I thought smugly.
Later that afternoon, Annie and I drove to the mall in Daytona. I knew she wanted to distract me, and after seeing Angela, I decided I was long overdue for some decent clothes. Since I wasn’t making them anymore, I needed to buy them. And I didn’t want to go home and contemplate what had happened to me, an eerily similar disaster to the one in my dream.
Shopping in general bored me, but Annie could do it for hours. I was glad she was with me; it helped take my mind off of the humiliating and frightening morning. She didn’t once mention that I almost drowned.
“So I saw Ben make out with you right in front of Angela,” she said as we started out of DeLand. Annie loved gossip almost as much as clothes.
“Yeah,” I replied. I usually didn’t like public displays of affection, but I was grateful today that he’d shown how he felt about me in front of her.
“You’re so lucky,” Annie mused. I was a little irritated at this. I knew he was gorgeous and, well, I wasn’t, but still.
“Maybe Ben sees something deeper than just looks,” I retorted, a little too sharply.
Annie looked hurt. “No, I didn’t mean that, Em, honestly. It’s just that everybody knows what kind of girl Angela is and what boys are into and all.”
“Huh?” I wasn’t following.
“You know,” she said, giving me a knowing eyebrow raise.
“Well, obviously I don’t,” I answered.
“Come on. Think about it. Isn’t Ben always trying to make out with you? And let’s face it, Angela puts it out there.”
“I don’t think Ben is tempted by that.”
“All boys are tempted by that,” she said matter-of-factly.
That gave me pause. Ben and I had always taken things slowly. Annie had pestered me, wanting the details of our first kiss when it had happened several months ago. She couldn’t believe we’d waited so long, but I was old-fashioned. I thought Ben was too. Her words made me think; did he feel tempted by Angela? Had I put the brakes on our relationship a little too hard?
We pulled into the parking lot of the mall and entered by the food court.Annie immediately found two stores where she wanted to shop. We wandered around for several hours, and I still hadn’t found anything I really liked. Seven stores, one ice cream cone, and five outfit try-ons later and I was sure I wasn’t going to find anything.
“One last shop, Em, come on,” Annie said, pulling my arm in the direction of a vintage store we’d overlooked on our way in.
“Okay, but that’s it,” I replied. “We’ve got to go soon so I have time to get ready for tonight.”
“Is Ben taking you somewhere nice?” she asked.
“I don’t know. He said ‘dinner at six,’ but I don’t know where.”
A strange feeling came over me as we entered the store. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed this place before. A mannequin in the window wore the most unusual dress I’d ever seen. I loved it on sight.
I pulled Annie in, asking the sales girl if they had my size.
“You’re in l
uck; the only one in stock is in the window, and it’s a six,” she answered, checking the tag and taking the dress down for me to try on.
Annie just looked at me with disbelieving eyes. It had a very old-fashioned cut, even for my tastes. I didn’t care. I felt curiously drawn to the ivory dress, which featured wide sleeves that opened from the elbow down. The waist parted to reveal a golden lace underskirt. Normally, I didn’t go for something quite this old-fashioned, but something compelled me to try it on. I knew it looked almost like a costume, but it seemed so familiar to me.
I quickly undressed in the fitting rooms and put on the dress, which fit like it was made for me. I stared at myself for a moment and then knew. I looked like I had in the dream. The dress looked familiar because it was.
I came out of the room and modeled for Annie, who looked at me, surprised.
“Wow, you look amazing,” she said, looking me over. “But won’t it be a little dressy for tonight?” she asked.
“Yeah, I guess so,” I said a little sadly.
She was right; I didn’t really have an occasion for the dress. Still, it felt so right. I didn’t want to take it off.
I decided to make the purchase anyway and worry about where to wear it later.
We left, Annie chatting about the fall fling our school had every year as we entered the parking lot.
“That’s where I’ll wear it,” I said, interrupting her.
“Wear what?” Annie asked, already forgetting my dress.
“The dress,” I reminded her.
“Oh yeah, I guess so…” she replied a little doubtfully, thinking, I was sure, of the older cut of the gown. I’d never been too trendy anyway, so it didn’t bother me. And Ben probably wouldn’t even notice. He always told me I looked great. It was a definite plus having him around.
“It should be okay…” she started slowly, “except that you aren’t supposed to wear white after Labor Day.”
“Oh, come on. You really are the fashion police,” I said, rolling my eyes at her.
“I’m just saying…”
“Well, it’s ivory, anyway,” I compromised. “That’s off-white, right?”
We both looked at each other and started laughing. I felt normal for the first time since having the dream.
****
I decided against telling Aunt Jo that I’d almost drowned. It would only worry her, and I really just wanted to forget it. I’d just wear jeans for a few days while my bruises healed.
It was almost time for Ben to arrive, and I wondered where we were going. It wasn’t like him to be late. I had to get a move on.
I wished I could have worn my new dress or even one of the old dresses I’d made over a year ago, but they didn’t fit anymore. I’d definitely grown taller over the last year, something I was thankful for. I was only about five-foot-four—not exactly short, but not exactly tall either, especially when I stood beside Ben.
Though I loved my new dress, I knew that, unless we were going to a costume ball, it wasn’t exactly right for whatever Ben had planned. I decided instead to wear the only other dress that fit, fortunately a long black one that I knew he liked. They hid my legs fairly well, though there were still visible marks around my ankles, as though someone really had grabbed at them in the pool.
I had dismissed the whole notion of someone pulling me down. Someone would have seen something, right? It was totally ridiculous, a mind trick just before unconsciousness hits. I’d been thinking about my dream all that morning, so it was only natural that I’d conjure the scary woman from the deep, right? And I couldn’t remember whether or not I’d hit anything on my way in or out of the pool. I thought it most likely that Ben and Zack had accidently done it when they pulled me out. I told myself that it all made good rational sense. So why didn’t I believe it?
As I dressed, I heard the doorbell. I asked Aunt Jo to finish zipping me, careful not to let her see my legs, and quickly went to answer the door, my black heels—a legacy from Mom—still in my hand.
His smile told me everything I needed to know.
“Hello, Gorgeous,” he said, presenting me with pink roses, my favorite flowers because of my mother, who’d also loved roses.
I could feel the blush starting on my face, but Aunt Jo saved me.
“You kids have fun. Not too late, Em,” she reminded me, taking the flowers to put them in the only vase we had. Aunt Jo pulled it out for special occasions. I wondered if she and Ben were cohorts. She had that vase a little too handy when the doorbell rang.
“Don’t worry, Miss Jo. I’ll have Emily home before eleven,” Ben assured her.
He opened the front door for me and winked at my Aunt, who shook her head. Like me, Aunt Jo had liked his cheerfulness from first sight.
When I saw that he’d dressed up, I wondered what he had in mind.
He grinned at me.
“It’s a surprise,” he answered as if reading my mind.
I looked sideways at him as we drove along. I loved the light at dusk, the way it bathed his features in the soft early evening glow. He turned to smile at me, reaching for my hand. The feeling of security our relationship gave me had been a mainstay in my life, especially since I’d lost Mom, and I knew Annie was right in more ways than one when she said I was the luckiest girl in school.
We turned into his parents’ drive, which was empty.
“So where are your Mom and Dad tonight?” I asked.
“They’re visiting Jake for parents’ weekend,” he replied, parking the pick-up in front of the garage. We’d often laughed about that. The garage was mainly filled with overflow junk from the attic, mostly fishing and camping gear. They had to park their cars out in front. The Harmons were definitely not neat freaks.
Jake played football at the University of Florida, and though Ben and his family were very proud of him, I knew Ben missed his brother.
“I’ve got the house all to myself this weekend,” he said.
Some parents couldn’t trust their kids to stay at home alone for a few hours, let alone an entire weekend, but Ben’s parents felt the way my Aunt Jo did about me. They trusted Ben.
He jumped out of the pick-up, came around, and opened the door for me.
“After you,” he said, gallantly helping me down.
The outside of his parents’ house had the definite look of a house built in the 1970’s, but the inside had an art deco feel, with bold colors and stark lines. Tonight, however, I wasn’t paying much attention to the décor.
Ben had spread the front entry way with more rose petals, which made a little path from the front door to the sliding glass leading to the back deck.
“Did you buy out the florist?” I teased.
He smiled, gesturing that I should follow the path he’d made with the petals.
We went out to the deck, where Ben had arranged a bouquet of another two dozen pink roses on a candlelit table set up for two. He reached to pull the chair out for me and then went back inside.
As I waited for him to return, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The entire deck was strewn with lights, and as dusk turned to evening, the candles gave off a romantic glow. So that was the “fishing” he’d done this afternoon. I felt guilty at ever doubting him this morning with Angela.
Ben returned with two plates, which he set in front of us.
“What, no wine?” I teased.
“Well, actually, I think Mom put some in the fridge earlier today before they left,” he said.
“I was just kidding. Iced tea is fine,” I said, surprised that he’d taken me seriously.
I looked around and smiled, still amazed that he had taken all this trouble for me.
“Ben, this is wonderful. I can’t believe how much time it must have taken for you to set this up. I mean, don’t think I’m not grateful, because I am, but what’s the special occasion? Our anniversary isn’t for another six months,” I said.
He hesitated for a moment, and I thought, no, he’s not popping the question. We were, afte
r all, only sixteen.
“I know, but I thought that this week might be difficult for you,” he answered quietly.
And suddenly I remembered. This time last year I was in a hospital room with Mom. The anniversary of her death was almost here. I couldn’t believe that I’d almost forgotten it. I really was out of it, and I felt even guiltier than I had before. Granted, I’d had a near-death experience. But could one nightmare really disorient me that much?
Ben must have seen the conflicting emotions working on my face.
“I’m sorry, Emily…I just thought you might not want to be alone. I wanted you to know I’ll always be there for you,” he said quietly, reaching for my hand.
“No, Ben, you’re totally right,” I said, wanting to cry, not just because I missed Mom so much but also because I was happy to have Ben. I was the luckiest person in the world, I thought, thinking of how much both of these people had loved me.
“What would I do without you?” I asked, coming over to kiss him.
“That’s the idea,” he said, laughing to lighten the moment as he threaded his fingers through mine.
What would I do without him? He’d been there nearly all my life, a firm shoulder to cry on, a confidant, maybe even a husband one day.
Ben and I had been around each other long enough for our silences to be comfortable, not awkward, so we ate our meal quietly, the only sounds coming from a small fountain in his parents’ backyard.
When we’d finished eating, we went back to the living room to watch a movie I’d wanted to see for awhile: Tristan and Isolde. I felt a strange sensation come over me as we watched the story unfold about two medieval lovers tragically kept apart. My heart began to race, and I could feel myself beginning to hyperventilate. Flashes of memories—no, not memories, that couldn’t be, it had to be visions—appeared before my eyes. His face mixed with hers, the dark of their eyes comingling, the one soft and tender, the other fierce with hatred. An older man I had never seen yet knew as well as myself seemed to stand over me, horrified by his own act of betrayal. I tried to tell myself it was the movie, but the faces didn’t match the actors. I knew them.
Ben looked in my direction and saw me shaking uncontrollably. I could see him call out my name, but a loud rush roared in my ears and prevented me from hearing or answering his questions. The faces before me collided, then merged, and everything became black.