“Yes, darlin’,” he murmured against her parted lips.
He turned her further into his arms, allowing her to feel the heat of his mouth on hers. The kiss slowly built in intensity as he continued to rub her arms. Her left hand clutched his arm while she brought the other up to caress his face.
Her simple touch shot heat through him. He thrust his tongue into her mouth, tasting the warmth. Her tongue brushed against his, sending jolts of desire down his spine. He held her to him, slipping his hands down to her hips, pulling her closer.
He should break it off now. Trouble was, he wasn’t sure why. She was his wife, after all.
She doesn’t know what she’s doing.
That thought cooled his raging lust. Never in his life had he taken advantage of a woman. He wasn’t about to start with Laura.
He lifted his lips from hers. “Darlin’, we have to stop. You’re exhausted. You don’t know what you’re asking me to do.”
“I thought you wanted me to change my mind about our agreement?” she asked under hooded eyes.
He’d been teasing her about it since that first night. Was she serious? Could she really want to be his wife in body as well as name?
“Darlin’, I want nothing more than to crawl into bed with you and enjoy every inch of your body. I just want to know it’s because you really want this, not because you’re confused, half awake and scared.” Fighting his own raging temptation, he slowly turned her away from him then kissed her neck behind her ear before releasing his hold on her shoulders.
She caught his hands and held them on her hips, her eyes meeting his in the mirror across from the bed. Their gazes held. “Nathan, I want to be your wife in every way possible.”
“Are you sure?” God, let her mean it. If she said no, he’d walk out of the room right now. It might kill him, but he’d do it.
Reaching down, she grabbed one of his hands, her eyes never breaking the connection of their gaze. Slowly she moved his hand up her body until it cupped the fullness of one breast. “I’m sure. I need to feel alive. I want to feel like a complete woman. Most of all, I want you to teach me what it feels like to be truly alive—to be with a man.”
Keeping his eyes fastened on hers in the mirror, he brought his other hand up to capture both breasts, gently kneading them. Her eyes drifted closed and her lips parted. He lowered his mouth to the delicate flesh of her neck and sucked softly at the pulse point beating there. She looked so luscious and sultry letting her desires finally take over.
Someday he’d make her stand there and watch him undress her in front of that mirror. Maybe even take her from behind too, but not tonight. He’d waited a long time for this, he intended to make it special for her.
He moaned and pulled her around in his arms, crushing her to him, his lips grinding out his long-controlled passion against hers. She moaned softly into his mouth, her tongue meeting his in a battle of thrusts and parries as if they were two combatants in a duel.
Without breaking their kiss, he eased her back onto the bed and rubbed a nipple with his right hand through the thin material of her chemise while he used the left to push the hem slowly up her thighs and hips. He didn’t stop until he’d swept it completely overhead and tossed it on the floor. He leaned back to gaze at her.
Embarrassed now that he was seeing her imperfect body, Laura tried to cover herself from his view. Her cousin Clara’s words rang in her ears. Men only want thin, dainty women, not some big cow like you.
“Please, Nathan, turn out the lamp.” What had she been thinking? He had to be so repulsed by her.
“No, darlin’. I’ve waited too long to see you like this,” he whispered as he pushed her hands away from her body to allow him to gaze at every inch of her. “Ever since that night you fell asleep in the bath, you’ve haunted my dreams.”
“I do?” She lifted her gaze to meet his, expecting to see artifice in his face. Instead, all she saw was pure, unadulterated lust. Could he really desire her?
She laid her hands at her side, trying to relax for him. Her body hummed from his earlier touch and kisses.
He stared at her with a look of wonder, his tongue moistening his masculine lips. His shoulders and arms strained with the effort of holding his upper body away from hers. The muscles of his abdomen pressed intimately between her thighs. If he didn’t truly desire her, he certainly knew how to hide it.
Chapter Ten
Nathan stared down at all of Laura’s lush curves. Here was a woman ripe in her femininity. No bones protruded at the hips or ribs—only soft full curves that made him want to sink into them. He couldn’t stand it. He filled his hand with one of her breasts. The dusky nipple puckered more and tickled his palm. He kneaded it softly.
She closed her eyes and moaned. The sound thrilled him to his core and he hardened completely. If he didn’t get out of his pants soon, he’d die from the pain. He lifted himself from her body, then quickly discarded his pants.
Sucking in air, she whispered, “Oh my.”
He chuckled at her admiration, then sank down between her spread thighs again, nestling his length into her slick folds, his face even with her breasts. Licking his lips, he looked back into her eyes. Those passionate jade orbs—mesmerizing—watched him as he slowly lowered his mouth to her breast for his first taste of her. Sweet, sultry, sensual. How had this been hidden from him for so long?
Laura gasped, her breath catching in her throat. She arched her back, pushing her breast farther into his mouth. Gently he suckled her. She wound her hand in his hair, holding him closer. He shifted his weight to the side, sliding his other hand down her body, caressing her slightly narrowed waist, then over her belly to stop just at the swell of her feminine heat.
She shivered, tensing in a delicious way that made him want to give her more pleasure.
With each new area he caressed, a soft moan escaped her, sending more sparks of desire through his own body. When his hand dipped lower, parting the soft folds of skin and rubbing across the small bud of her desire, she cried out.
Nathan lifted his mouth from her tender flesh to watch her in her first experience with her own passion. “Doesn’t that feel good, darlin’?”
“Oh yes.” The tip of her tongue rubbed across the edge of her parted lips. She’d closed her eyes and arched her head back against the pillows. Against his fingers she rocked her body in the age-old mating rhythm, thrusting her hips backward and forward. He continued to massage her softness, the fluid heat flowing across his fingers.
As he watched her, his shaft grew harder and throbbed with his own desire. He needed to possess her now. He pushed his body up over hers, the tip of his desire straining just at her opening.
“Laura,” he murmured across her lips, “are you sure about this?”
She cupped his face between her hands, staring intently at him. “Nathan, please make me your wife.”
“It may hurt, darlin’, but I can’t wait any longer.”
With one thrust into her womanhood, he tore apart the barrier of her virginity. He heard her gasp softly and froze to allow her a moment to grow accustomed to his invasion. Murmuring words of comfort, he kissed her and kneaded her breasts. Then, ever so slowly, she rocked beneath him. He slid in and out of her slightly.
“Laura, hold still a moment or I won’t be able to stop. I don’t…want to hurt…you anymore.” He ground the words out, his body aching to drive repeatedly into her warmth.
“Didn’t hurt,” she whispered back at him. “I want…I want…” She shook her head from side to side as if she didn’t know what it was she so desperately needed.
Chuckling in her ear, he pulled almost out of her, then buried himself into her even deeper than before. “Is that what you want, darlin’?”
“Yes! Please, more.”
With each thrust she moved forward to meet him, gasping and moaning with her newfound pleasure. Each sound drove his passion up a notch. He increased his pace, working them both into a frenzy of desire. Finally, u
nable to wait any longer, he spilled his seed into her.
The spiraling at the core of her being wound itself so tight that when she felt the convulsive shudder of her husband, Laura matched it with a shattering explosion of her own, leaving her racked by her own climax.
Moments that felt like eternity passed. Laura’s heart slowed to a natural beat, her breathing once again deep and steady. Nathan lay still on top of her but his weight wasn’t heavy. His body on top of hers was comforting and life-confirming. Hesitantly she rubbed her hand over his back, enjoying the sweat-cooled feel of his skin. He let out a moan. Her hand stilled.
“Don’t stop, darlin’,” he murmured into her neck. Lifting his upper body onto one elbow, he grasped one loose tendril of her hair and rubbed it across his face while he gazed down at her. “Are you all right?”
Unsure how to answer, Laura simply nodded.
Loosening his grip, Nathan eased out of bed and went to the washstand. From the pitcher sitting in the bowl she used to wash her face with each morning, he poured water onto a cloth lying next to it. He came back to bed and attempted to wash her blood and his seed from her body.
“I can do that.” Laura lurched up in the bed and closed her legs, trapping his hands between her thighs.
“Laura, allow me to do this for you. I know I hurt you, and you must be tender down here. Besides you’ve been busy taking care of so many people while I was gone, let me take care of you.”
The honest concern in his eyes stopped her protests. Cheeks heated with embarrassment, she lay back on the bed and allowed him to continue.
As he gently wiped her tender skin with one hand, he used the other to stroke her legs and hips. “By the way, did I tell you how sorry I was for all those things I said when you came home today?”
“No, you didn’t.” Why did he have to bring that up now? He hadn’t hurt her while loving her, but his earlier words comparing her to his first wife still stung. How could she have been so intimate with him when he’d hurt her so badly? Now she wanted nothing more than to get away from him.
She surged out of the bed with such sudden force that she knocked him onto the floor. Stepping around him, she went to the armoire, pulled her nightgown from the top drawer and slipped it over her head.
“What’s wrong with you?” Nathan sputtered from the floor, then struggled to his feet, one leg caught in the sheets. He kicked it loose, then stood there—buck naked, legs apart in a warrior’s stance, hands on his hips, ready for a fight.
Good Lord he was a magnificent man, completely self-assured in his masculinity. She’d seen sculptures of naked men in museums. They couldn’t hold a candle to him. Laura buttoned her gown slowly, trying to gather her thoughts and not stare at her husband. This man had the capability to make her body sing in ways she’d never believed possible. With just a word, she’d crawl back in that bed and beg him to let her stay forever.
When he’d left the farm in her hands, she’d thought he trusted her. With his words today, he’d tempered that trust. Now she realized as much as he wanted to believe in her faithfulness, it would take more time before he could put the betrayal of his first wife behind him.
Would she have time enough?
She moved toward him until mere inches separated them. Swallowing hard against the hurt she still felt, she gazed up at him. “Nathan, I want to make one thing perfectly clear to you. I’m not like your first wife. I don’t look like her, nor will I ever behave like her. In the future, please remember that.”
Her declaration made, she moved around him and climbed back into her bed. He sat beside her and cupped her face between his calloused hands. “Darlin’, as long as I live I’ll never confuse you with any other woman.”
Before she could protest, he kissed her deeply once more. With her senses tingling from his kiss and its promise of passion, she fought the urge to invite him under the covers with her.
She laid one hand against his chest and pushed until he broke the kiss. “Nathan, don’t.”
“Don’t what? Don’t kiss you?” He arched one dark brow, his jaw clenched tight again. “Darlin’, it’s a little late for virginal protesting. We’ve already shared more than a simple kiss. In fact, I tried to stop. You begged me not to.”
“I’m not denying it.” She felt his heartbeat pounding beneath her hand lying on his chest. “But I’m not sure it’s a good idea for us to continue to be so…intimate.”
“And why not? We’re legally man and wife.” He ground the words out between clenched teeth.
Obviously he didn’t understand her reluctance. She wasn’t quite sure herself why she was refusing his advances either, but for the first time in her life she wanted something more than second-hand discards. She wanted him to see her as the woman she was inside, to trust her implicitly—possibly love her. And if he couldn’t do those things, then she didn’t want to settle for less.
She pulled her hand away from his warm skin. “My plans haven’t changed. I’m still leaving at the end of five years.”
He sat absolutely still, his gaze boring into hers in the dim lamplight, the muscles of his jaw and throat working with tension, his lips pressed into a thin line. For a moment she feared he might strike out at her. Instead he reached for his pants, stepped into them and pulled them up as he stood. Without fastening them, he grabbed his shirt, turned and stalked from the room.
Laura carefully exhaled. Suddenly cold, she drew the covers up and curled against the pillow that still held both his body heat and scent. For the second time that day, she cried.
* * * * *
Three days later, Nathan had a tight leash on his temper and an even tighter grip on the handles of his plow as he broke ground for the spring planting in his front forty acres. If he got the hay and winter wheat planted now, he’d not only have an extra cash crop this year but enough hay to possibly sell to the two ranches at each end of the valley.
Everything depended on the weather holding. He might be pushing the planting schedule this year, but right now he needed to spend as much time away from his wife as possible.
The sun’s heat made him sweat despite the cool breeze that wafted down from the mountaintops. He stumbled over a rock, then slapped the leather strap against the draft horse’s rump to keep him going. He focused on the row in front of him, still trying to unravel the puzzle of his wife’s stubborn behavior.
Ever since Laura threw him out of her bed, he’d simmered on a slow boil. Meals were stilted affairs, with neither one of them saying anything beyond “pass the potatoes, please”. At night he rolled around and punched his pillow. He’d gotten no more than a few hours’ sleep at a time since that night. Over and over he replayed every moment in his head, trying to make sense of it.
They’d shared something special and the damn woman was determined to keep them from repeating it. He just didn’t understand her. She’d so beautifully found her passion with him, and he’d never felt that content with any other woman. Hell, he’d even tried to comfort her for any pain he’d caused.
What had he done that set her off?
He pulled on the leather reins. “Whoa, Buster. Whoa.” With his shirtsleeve, he mopped the sweat from his brow.
He’d apologized for thinking she’d been as untrustworthy and irresponsible as Kirsten. The next thing he knew, she’d knocked him to the floor.
What an idiot! He’d compared her to Kirsten then, brought it up right after he’d taken her virginity. That had to be the burr under Laura’s behind. She thought he still didn’t trust her.
Well, his mama always said actions spoke louder than words.
After he finished plowing this field, he was gonna have to go mend some fences with his wife.
“Giddyap.” He snapped the leather reins to get the draft horse moving again.
By noon, his mood improved and his body humming from physical exertion, he entered the house expecting to enjoy eating his midday meal with his wife and daughter for the first time in nearly a month. On the table
sat two plates with beans, ham and biscuits, but no sign of Laura or Rachel.
Shaking his head, he washed his hands. The woman was not going to hide from him. This tense battle of wills needed to end.
Before he could go in search of her, he heard a large thud from above, followed by muttering. He stuck his head around the door and looked up the stairs. Laura stood behind the large oak chair he’d stored in the attic.
“Laura?” He climbed the stairs to see what she was doing. “How did you get that thing down here?”
“I thought it would be nice to have two chairs in front of the fire for us to sit in at night.” She placed both her hands on the heavy oak and pushed. It budged an inch.
“Dammit, woman. Let me get it before you hurt yourself or the floor.”
He maneuvered himself between her and the chair and hefted it into his arms. His body sagged slightly beneath the weight of the piece. He’d forgotten how heavy the thing was. Angling it to prevent scratching into the wall, he carried the chair down the steps and into the kitchen. “Where do you want it?”
Laura came around and pointed to a spot next to the rocker in front of the fire. “There would be nice.”
He set the chair down, then flexed his back muscles. “You know there were smaller pieces in the front parlor you could’ve moved in here yourself. They certainly weigh less.”
“I suppose you’re right. I know that style of velvet-covered chairs with all the ornate trim is all the rage back East, but I prefer the charm of these pieces.”
He smiled. “I know what you mean. Kirsten didn’t like these chairs at all. She had me move them up there not long after we were married, and replaced them with the gaudy ones covered up in the front room.”
“I think it’s a shame such craftsmanship should be hidden away upstairs.” She ran her hand lovingly over the smooth wooden frame. “Whoever made these pieces knew what they were doing. Look at the construction of this, Nathan. The joints are perfect. And the wood just glows. It’s such a beautiful chair.”
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