by K. L. Slater
I ran upstairs to Michelle’s bedroom. Again, the scene looked rushed compared to what I’d come to expect of her. A damp towel draped over her dressing table stool, the hairdryer unravelled across the floor and still plugged in, her bed unmade. She wasn’t a clean freak exactly but she liked to leave things tidy. I knew for certain that if Michelle had been back here before leaving for the office, she wouldn’t have been able to stop herself from tidying round.
I heard the front door rattle and I hurtled downstairs. My face dropped when Owen and Zachary appeared. ‘Oh, it’s you.’
‘That’s a nice welcome, isn’t it, Zach?’ Owen grinned.
‘Hi, Zach, have you had a good day?’ My voice was strained but Zachary didn’t seem to notice.
‘It was OK,’ he said a bit glumly. He gave me a half-hearted peck on the cheek and kicked off his shoes. I raised my eyebrows at Owen and he shook his head.
‘We’re gonna have a kick-about in the back garden before tea, aren’t we, champ?’
Zachary shrugged. ‘I don’t know, Dad. I might just watch TV.’
He disappeared into the living room and a few seconds later, we heard the television blasting out, too loud.
Owen came closer and lowered his voice. ‘Mr Barry, the sports coach, caught me at pick up. Seems Zach’s been a bit disruptive in class this afternoon. And… he didn’t make the football team selection. Just the reserves.’
‘Oh.’ I feel my shoulders tense. Zach loved football and I knew he’d take the rejection badly. ‘Would it really have killed them to give him a place in the team? With everything he’s been through, I mean?’
‘It doesn’t work like that, Esme. They have to select on merit, you know that.’
Still, I was fuming. I’d go down there and demand they put him in the team. That new coach wasn’t a patch on Mr Martindale, who’d retired last year.
‘No sign of Michelle?’ Owen brought me back to earth with a bump, reminding me of my panicked call from the office.
‘No, and I’m really worried now. I feel sick, thinking what might have happened.’
Owen looked at me as if he couldn’t fathom why I was being so dramatic. ‘She’s probably gone shopping out of town or—’
‘Owen! There is no way Michelle would take herself off shopping when we’d scheduled probably the most important meeting we’ve had since the business started!’
He shrugged. ‘I don’t know then, maybe her phone died or something,’ he said, opening the fridge and taking out a carton of juice. ‘But where’s that place you and her go to sometimes?’
‘The Bicester outlet but like I say, there’s no way she’d go there,’ I said curtly. ‘Owen, don’t drink straight out of the carton like that. It sets a bad example to Zachary.’
‘Zachary’s not here to see it though,’ he said and took another swig.
‘You don’t even ask.’ My blood was boiling now. ‘You just waltz in the house and carry on as if you still live here.’
He stuck the lid back on the carton and put it back in the fridge, needlessly thumping the door closed.
‘Excuse me for breathing.’ He glared. ‘I’m good enough to rush over to check the house and then pick up Zach when Michelle decides to bail out though, I notice. Since you started this stupid podcast Zachary barely spends any time with you. I don’t know how you live with yourself after what he’s been through. And that sister of yours is—’
‘How dare you! And leave Michelle out of this, there’s no need to—’
‘There’s every need, Esme.’ I moved to the other side of the kitchen but his eyes were trained on me like a laser. ‘It’s pretty obvious Michelle hates me coming round here. I’ve heard you two whispering like schoolgirls behind my back, seen the eye-rolling.’
‘What are you going on about?’
‘I know she tries to poison you against me.’ His expression grew dark. ‘Turns out she’s not so reliable after all though, is she? What would have happened to Zachary if I hadn’t called? He’d still be waiting at school, with his class teacher asking herself what kind of mother leaves a boy with a disability alone like that.’
‘I haven’t got time for this bickering.’ He had this way of shortcutting straight to my guilt. I grabbed my handbag off the side. ‘I’m going out to check on a few places. That’s if you don’t mind staying here to watch Zachary for an hour?’ I hated leaving Zach again after what Owen had just said but I had to do something. ‘Don’t say anything to him about her being missing yet, I don’t want to worry him unnecessarily.’
‘But are you sure it’s OK for me to stay here unattended? I might need to use the bathroom or make myself a coffee without asking.’
It wasn’t worth the argument that would ensue if I replied.
‘Where are you going?’ he called as I headed for the living room to say bye to Zachary. He was absorbed in his programme so I just kissed him on the cheek.
Back in the hallway, Owen hadn’t moved. I considered ignoring him but he walked towards me, hands outstretched. ‘Look, Esme, this is daft. I’m sorry, OK? Let’s not be petty with each other, that’s all I’m asking. Not when you’re obviously worried about Michelle.’
My eyes prickled and I nodded. ‘I am really worried now, Owen. She called me from Sainsbury’s to say she’d be at the office for the meeting. That’s the last time I spoke to her so I guess it’s the logical place to go first.’
‘She’s hardly likely to still be there if it was hours ago.’
‘I know that. But maybe someone has seen her. I’ll show her photo to the checkout operators. At least I’ll start building up a trail of where she was seen last.’
A look crossed his face as if he was about to say something unhelpful but thankfully he seemed to change his mind. ‘Do you know which branch she was at?’
There was a superstore about two miles away and also a smaller Sainsbury’s Local within half a mile.
‘I think she’d have gone to the big store as she was getting stuff in for a barbecue tea. The local store wouldn’t have as much choice.’ I felt the enormity of the task: asking staff who might have already changed shifts from this morning on the off-chance someone remembered Michelle. ‘I have to do something. It’s too soon to report her missing to the police and they’ll ask me if I’ve done this stuff, anyway.’
Owen looked incredulous. ‘Report her missing? Esme, she’s only been gone a few hours. I think you’re overreacting a bit.’
‘I was relying on her for the big meeting with TrueLife today. She knew that and would never have let me down. I’d lay my life on that.’ My jaw sets as I remember how I doubted her in the run-up to the meeting. I watched as Owen clearly lost his resolve to make me see any sense.
‘Fine.’ He shrugged his shoulders, a look of amused incredulity on his face. ‘I’ll stay here with Zachary, then. That way, if she comes home loaded down with shopping bags from the outlet, I can call you at Sainsbury’s to let you know. Good luck.’
He went to give me a peck on the cheek, but I was already out of the door.
I drove the long way around so I’d pass Zachary’s school. I travelled slowly along the road that ran in front of the main school gates. Despite regular pleadings from the Head Teacher in the weekly newsletter asking parents and carers to refrain from double-parking on the road, they all tended to do so, Michelle included.
There were parked cars dotted here and there and I cruised by and scanned all of them. At the end of the road, I turned left and then left again. I kept going until I’d ridden around the entire perimeter of the school campus but Michelle’s snazzy new lipstick-red Mini Countryman was nowhere to be seen.
Sixteen
The superstore was busy with parents and kids who’d gone shopping after the school run. I saw a couple of other mums from school and nodded and smiled while keeping my distance. The last thing I wanted now was to get in an inane conversation about next month’s school trip to Eyam.
I sat in the car park when I arrived
at the superstore and selected a photo of Michelle from her Facebook page. I avoided any where she’d been dressed up to the nines to go out because I wanted an image that represented how she was most days. I chose one that reflected her girl-next-door friendliness, a lovely natural-looking shot of her taken on a day trip to the coast we had last summer. She looked relaxed and happy, her dark blonde hair tousled by the sea breeze, her hazel eyes bright and sparkling. My heart squeezed in on itself as I saved it to my photos folder.
Inside the store, I felt deflated when I saw how busy the place was. All the checkouts had queues, even the self-checkouts were all taken.
When Owen and I were still together, and before I launched The Speaking Fox, I had more free time. I used to spend a lot more time with Zachary and come in here regularly to do our weekly shop. As I approached the checkouts, I recognised some of the faces from my numerous visits here. But they saw hundreds of people every week; the chances of anyone remembering me were small.
I’d never had to ask about a missing person before.
I reached the first till and joined the short queue. I was tired and rattled now – a bad combination – and doubting that this had even been a good idea in the first place. I was mad to think anyone would remember her. Eventually, it was my turn. The cashier looked at the empty conveyer belt and back up at me.
‘Sorry, this might seem a bit strange but I just wanted to ask if you’ve served this woman today?’ The woman peered at my phone screen. ‘It’s my sister,’ I explained. ‘I’m trying to track her movements today as she missed an important appointment and she’s not picking up my calls.’
My heartbeat picked up in anticipation that she’d recognise Michelle. Please, please, recognise her.
She pressed her lips together and shook her head. ‘Sorry, love. I haven’t served her today.’
It was the same story at the next till. I had to queue up and, fiddling with a change of till roll, the woman barely glanced at Michelle’s photograph.
‘She’s not been to my till today, sorry.’
‘But someone must’ve seen her!’ My voice rose two octaves as I held my phone up to her again. ‘Please, take another look… she was here! Just a few hours ago. Check again!’
The cashier stood up and took a step back from her seat. ‘Look, I’ve told you, I haven’t seen her.’ Her eyes scanned the section of the foyer where the security guards usually stood.
People began to stop emptying trolleys and packing shopping bags and just stood and stared. That’s when it hit me that the checkout operator obviously thought I was violent or mentally ill… or both.
‘Esme! How are you?’
Dread prickled at the back of my neck. I turned around to see Imogen, a parent-governor and one of the mums who was very involved with all aspects of school life. Last term, I’d successfully dodged her efforts to organise a stand at the summer fête and to sew sequins on costumes for the upcoming Christmas pantomime.
‘Hi, Imogen,’ I said, managing a weak smile and then turning back to the cashier to avoid speaking to her further. But she seemed oblivious to the situation.
‘You’ll have no doubt heard about our eco-warriors initiative from Zachary. We’re looking for parents who are happy to document their carbon footprint on their way to work.’
It occurred to me that Zachary barely talked to me at all about what’s happening at school these days. Worse still, I realised I hardly ever sat down to chat about his day, aside from my usual automatic greeting of, ‘How was school?’
Imogen tipped her head to one side and frowned. ‘You look a little… stressed, Esme. Is everything alright?’
‘Sorry,’ I said quickly, my chest tightening under her scrutiny. ‘I’m too busy to get involved with anything going on at school at the moment.’
‘Ha ha, aren’t we all? It’s not as involved as it sounds, actually. All we need you to do is—’
‘Look, I can’t talk about it now,’ I snapped and her eyes widened. ‘Sorry but… I’ve got an emergency situation on at home and I have to—’
‘Oh no, I’m sorry to hear that, Esme. Is it Zachary? I know he didn’t make the football team. My Matthew said how disappointed he was and I said, “Thank your lucky stars, Matty. You’re one of the lucky boys who’s got a place.” It must be heartbreaking for Zachary to be so hampered by his leg injury and such a difficult decision for the coach to have to—’
‘Just stop!’ I screeched, and my hands flew up to grip the top of my head. ‘I can’t think straight. My sister’s gone missing, I have to find out if anyone saw her here today.’
Imogen’s face paled but still she stayed put. ‘I’m so sorry, Esme, I had no idea. Michelle, isn’t it? What happened?’ She took my arm and steered me across the supermarket foyer. I didn’t resist, didn’t speak because I knew I was in danger of disintegrating if I did. ‘Is this where she came last? I saw you going around the tills showing them your phone. How inconsiderate she hasn’t let you know where she is. Here we go, customer services.’
We stood in front of the horseshoe-shaped desk with Imogen still rabbiting on although it was just white noise in my ear now.
An assistant approached us.
‘My friend needs help. She’s lost someone.’
The woman instantly looked concerned. ‘Have you lost a child?’
‘No, no. It’s her sister,’ Imogen replied. ‘She’s missing and this is the last place she came.’
The other woman’s hand fluttered to her throat. ‘Oh, how awful.’ She nodded at her colleague. ‘Put a call out for Nasreen, Janet.’ She looked back at me. ‘It must be awful for you, lovey.’
‘Thank you, it is,’ I said, her sympathy making me feel suddenly tearful. I turned to Imogen who, despite her nosiness, has helped me out. ‘Thank you. Sorry I—’
‘It’s fine, darling, really it is. Are you going to be OK now? It’s just I’ve left my husband on the bakery aisle and—’
‘I’m fine. Thank you.’
A navy-suited young woman appeared at the desk a few minutes later and was helpful and efficient. She escorted me to the remaining checkout stations and, after apologising to each customer being served for the interruption, showed the cashiers Michelle’s photograph.
Not one of them had seen her that day.
‘There are a couple of part-time staff who were on this morning and have already left,’ Nasreen explained. ‘If you text me the picture of your sister, I’ll contact them personally and ask if they served her.’
I thanked her, but my heart felt heavy and sore. Still, I texted her the photo and said a silent prayer.
I’d done everything I could.
I took a diversion on the way home so I could call at the smaller Sainsbury’s Local. There was a chance Michelle had been here and I felt hope rise again in my chest.
Again, the shop was busy. But at least there were only two cashiers. I stood in the queue and when I got to the front, I held up my phone to show him the picture.
‘Excuse me, what are you doing?’ An officious-looking man in a suit appeared out of nowhere, frowning at my phone.
‘I just… I just wanted to know if he’s served my sister today.’
‘We can’t give out information about our customers.’
‘My sister is missing. I just need to know if she’s been in here, that’s all. You see, I’m trying to pinpoint where she last—’
‘Data protection laws,’ he said coldly, ‘cannot be compromised, I’m afraid.’
The other customers were openly staring now and I felt like running from the shop as fast as I could. Without looking at the manager, the cashier took my phone gently from my shaking hand and showed it to the woman who was serving next to him.
‘Seen this woman today, Barb?’
‘Harold! This is not appropriate,’ the manager blustered. ‘You just heard me say—’
‘And you just heard her say she’s lost her sister,’ he retorted.
The female cashier shook he
r head sympathetically.
‘Nah, we haven’t seen her in here, love. I’m sorry. Hope you find her soon.’
I thanked them both, touched by their kindness. Then I directed the foulest glare I could muster at the manager and left the shop.
Back in the car, I slumped over the steering wheel and closed my eyes.
When my phone rang I sat upright in the car seat. I snatched it up without even looking at the screen.
‘Hello?’
‘Esme, it’s me,’ Owen’s voice sounded low with urgency. ‘Zachary’s just told me something that happened earlier at school. You really need to hear this.’
Seventeen
I drove home as fast as I possibly could without breaking the law. What could have happened at school that’s so urgent and why didn’t Zachary mention anything when he first got back?
You really need to hear this…
If Michelle had been in touch, Owen would have said so. I prayed it was nothing about the football team, or something Zachary had done wrong in class, because those usually important details meant nothing to me right now. I’d hit the roof if Owen had dragged me back for that.
When I got back, I burst into the house, hope fluttering in my chest. I rushed into the kitchen where Owen sat at the breakfast bar, scrolling through his phone.
‘What is it? What’s happened?’
‘Follow me.’
He slipped off the stool and walked into the living room. I had no choice but to follow. Why couldn’t he just tell me?
‘Dad!’ Zachary objected when Owen muted the television.
‘Sorry, son, but this is important. I want you to tell your mum what you just told me.’
‘What, all of it?’ Zachary rolled his eyes.
‘Yes, all of it. It’s important.’ Owen turned to me. ‘Zachary told me something very interesting about his Aunt Miche this morning. Something he saw.’
I reached for Zachary’s hand. ‘You’re not in trouble, sweetie, but I’ve been trying to contact Aunt Miche most of the day and she’s not answering her phone. Can you tell me what you saw?’