by K. L. Slater
‘Haven’t seen you for ages, Esme! We heard about what happened to Michelle. It’s so awful. Come here.’ I couldn’t help being a bit stand-offish at first, but then I found I actually felt better after their hugs and good wishes and I relaxed a little.
‘Are the police any further forward in finding out who did it?’ the mum of one of Zachary’s school friends asked.
I shook my head. ‘Not yet.’ If the police didn’t release Owen soon, it would only be a matter of time before word got out he’d been questioned. Especially now the attack had been reported in the media. ‘But I wanted to ask… did any of you see Michelle talking to someone outside the school last Thursday morning? A man, perhaps?’
One of the women’s face blanched paler. ‘Was he here, at the school? The man who attacked her?’
‘No, no. The police have just asked me to put the word out if anyone saw her on that last morning, that’s all.’ There was a grim finality to my words that made me want to weep.
‘There were a couple of uniformed officers here yesterday,’ someone else said. ‘They showed around a photograph of Michelle, asking if anybody had seen anything unusual.’
I felt reassured. At least the police were looking into the prospect of the mystery man, even if they were still wasting time interrogating Owen.
Brooke shifted next to me and cleared her throat.
‘This is Brooke, Owen’s mum.’ I introduced her. ‘She’s come down to help out with Zachary.’
The women made a fuss of Brooke and I watched, fascinated, as her snooty manner dissolved completely and she stood, head hanging, humbly accepting their compliments about how good she was to come down to help us.
‘It’s lovely to have the chance to spend time with our grandson,’ she simpered, making it sound like something or someone had prevented them from doing so thus far. ‘We miss him so much, living away as we do.’
When the women moved away again, Brooke swiftly returned to her usual spikey self.
‘I’ll meet Zachary’s teacher while I’m down here, if I might,’ she said when the end-of-school bell sounded.
‘Oh, you have to make an appointment to see her if—’
‘No, no, that’s not necessary. I would like to just say hello, to introduce myself as Zachary’s grandmother. I’m sure we don’t need to book a half-hour chat to do that.’
The end-of-day procedure was usually for parents to wait by the gates until the children emerged from their classes, but I led Brooke across the playground to Zachary’s classroom doors.
Brooke scanned the fabric of the building with a critical eye, taking particular interest in the windows.
‘What was the last OFSTED rating at this school?’ she sniffed.
‘They got a “good” rating earlier this year,’ I said, glad I was able to say so. ‘They were in special measures a couple of years ago but the new head has really raised standards. And they’ve had new windows and built an extension at the back with extra funding he’s secured for the school.’
‘They’re mostly private schools around us, but the one state school came out with an outstanding rating after their latest inspection,’ she remarked. ‘The thing I don’t like about these places, these state schools, is the limited facilities. Eric always says it’s a travesty for young boys if there are no fields on campus for rugby.’
‘Girls play too sometimes, you know,’ I mumbled under my breath, and she looked at me sharply. ‘Zachary doesn’t suffer in that regard since the accident. His leg prevents him participating in contact sports.’
The classroom doors opened and the children tumbled out, running across the playground. Zachary smiled when he saw me and walked over as fast as he could with the hindrance of his leg. When he spotted Brooke, he stalled.
‘Darling!’ Brooke rushed towards him. ‘It’s wonderful to see you. Have you got a kiss for Grandma?’
‘It’s best if you just let him…’ My words were drowned out by the other children shouting and squealing. Brooke pulled Zachary towards her and he shot me a panicked look.
I walked over and took his hand, forcing a break in Brooke’s pincer-like grip on him.
‘Grandma surprised us. She’s come to visit for a couple of days, that’s nice, isn’t it?’
Brooke smiled widely and Zachary swallowed and managed a single nod. I approached Miss Carling as she saw the children out of the classroom.
‘Can I introduce you to Zachary’s grandma, Owen’s mother, Brooke?’
‘Hello, very pleased to meet you!’ Miss Carling said, giving Brooke a nice open smile.
‘Very pleased to meet you, dear,’ Brooke said grandly. ‘I’m so pleased for the chance to chat. Myself and Zachary’s grandfather hope to play a larger part in his life and I wondered if it would be possible to get a report on his current grades and teacher assessments?’
‘I… well, yes, I could certainly put something together for you.’ Miss Carling glanced at my stunned expression.
‘I have all his school reports at home, Brooke,’ I said archly, finally pulling myself together. ‘There’s no need to bother Miss Carling with this.’
‘Perhaps my husband and I could arrange a mutually convenient time to pop in and meet with you, Miss Carling?’ Brooke said, blanking me. ‘School reports won’t cut it, I’m afraid. If his grades aren’t up to scratch then a remedial plan of action may need to be discussed.’
Miss Carling opened her mouth and closed it again.
‘We can talk about this at home, Brooke.’ I grasped her elbow firmly and looked at Zachary’s teacher with an apologetic expression. ‘We’ll be in touch, Miss Carling. Thank you.’
I led Brooke away and she shook me off immediately. ‘I didn’t appreciate that, Esme. Frankly, I felt undermined.’
‘Not as undermined as I felt!’ I snapped back. ‘You can’t just barge into our lives and take over, Brooke.’
She shot me a hellish glare and swapped sides so she was next to Zachary.
‘Now, let’s see what we have in here, shall we?’ She opened her cavernous Mulberry handbag and pulled out a large bag of sherbet-filled flying saucers. ‘Here we go. A treat from Grandma!’
Zachary took them eagerly, then his face fell as he remembered our no-sweets-before-tea rule.
‘Just have one,’ I told him. ‘As a special treat.’
‘I always found depriving children and laying down rules about sweeties had the opposite effect,’ Brooke remarked as we walk back to the car. ‘Moderation was the way we raised Owen and look how he’s turned out.’
Yes, he’s currently in police custody, I’d have loved to snap back at her, but of course I didn’t.
‘Indeed,’ I said instead.
Forty-One
Back in the car, Zachary declined Brooke’s invitation to sit in the back with her and climbed in his usual seat in the front next to me.
‘Is Dad at home, Mum?’ he asked, leafing through his new reading book as if he fully expected me to say that he was.
‘He isn’t yet,’ I said lightly.
‘Is he still at the flat?’ Zach pressed.
‘What flat?’ I watched in the mirror as Brooke pursed her lips.
I continued as if she hadn’t spoken as I pulled out into a gap in the traffic. ‘We’re hoping he’ll be back home later and then—’
‘Does he know his father’s still at the police station?’ Brooke said.
‘Huh?’ Zachary closed his book and shoved it back in his reading folder. ‘Why is Dad still there?’
His voice sounded strained and he looked at me with dark, haunted eyes.
‘That’s Grandma’s opinion entirely, Zachary,’ she piped up again. ‘It’s ridiculous. They’re questioning him about something he’s had absolutely nothing to do with.’
‘Brooke, can you please stop?’ My face felt like it was on fire. I had to speak through my teeth because if I let rip I knew I’d never stop. ‘I’ve explained to Zachary that Owen will be home soon. There’s absol
utely no need to burden him with any further details.’
‘Well, I’m a big believer in telling children the truth,’ she said tartly. ‘People don’t give young people the credit they deserve. Zachary is quite capable of understanding that his father is in trouble.’
‘Is he, Mum? Is Dad in trouble with the police?’ Zachary wailed, wringing his pale hands together. I pulled the car over into a lay-by, engaged the handbrake and turned fully in my seat until I was facing her.
‘Brooke, it’s about a ten-minute walk home from here or it’s just two more minutes that you’ll need to stay quiet if you want to continue the ride.’
Her mouth dropped open. ‘Hang on a minute! I’ve done nothing wrong, all I said was—’
‘It’s not appropriate, Brooke. It’s not the right place or time to be talking to Zachary about his dad. You can see how worried he is, as we all are. I won’t have him needlessly distressed.’ She hadn’t a clue about the effect her ill-timed remarks could have on Zachary for days, maybe even weeks, to come.
‘Message received and understood. You’ve certainly made yourself abundantly clear,’ she said coldly, folding her arms and staring straight ahead, dismissing me.
I sat back in my seat and reached for Zachary’s hand. ‘Everything’s going to be just fine, sweetie. You’re not to worry, do you hear me?’
‘But when will Dad be back?’ he asked me in a small voice. ‘The police said it was just a few questions and you said he went to bed in the flat last night. That he was out of the station.’
‘What flat is this?’ Brooke demanded.
‘Your dad will be back soon,’ I said, the words catching in my dry throat. I disengaged the handbrake and set off again. ‘There’s no doubt in my mind about that.’
In the back, Brooke sniffed and made a small noise in her throat. It was all I could do not to stop the car right there and then and order her out.
Back home, I sent Zachary upstairs to get changed out of his school uniform and in the kitchen, I called the hospital and asked how Michelle was.
‘She’s stable and that’s all we’re really looking for at this early stage,’ the nurse said. ‘The doctor is on his way around the ward now.’
I thanked her and ended the call. I couldn’t take Zachary to the hospital to see his aunt while she was on the ventilator. It wasn’t right, him seeing her so terribly ill. I rubbed at a small stain on the worktop with my thumb, trying to ignore the aching I felt inside.
‘If you want to go to the hospital to visit Michelle, I’m happy to watch Zachary.’ I jumped at Brooke’s loud, clear voice. I didn’t realise she was standing there in the doorway.
‘It’s fine,’ I said, my voice sounding toneless. ‘There’s no change anyway.’ The last thing I wanted was her filling Zachary’s head with the ‘truth’ about Owen’s precarious situation at the police station while I was gone.
‘Esme, has Owen got a flat?’
I held my breath for a few moments. Do I outright lie? Do I refuse to answer?
‘He… yes, he has. It’s complicated. You can ask him about it when you see him, that would be best, I think.’
Her face darkened. ‘If there’s something happening I ought to know about then I’d appreciate you telling me now, Esme.’
With great effort, I pulled myself up to my full height and met her stare. ‘Like I said, you can ask Owen when you see him.’
Brooke walked over to the breakfast bar and tapped her ruby nails on the countertop. ‘Look. Perhaps I was a little hasty in the car and spoke out of turn in front of Zachary. If that’s the case, then I’m sorry. It seems we have different ideas when it comes to what children can handle.’ It sounded about as close to an apology as I was ever going to get from her. I picked up a dishcloth and rubbed at the persistent stain. ‘I’ll avoid mentioning Owen to him altogether if you’d prefer. I can make him some tea and he can do his homework, or whatever he does after school. I’m sure you’d like to get to see Michelle even if it’s only for a short time.’
She was right. I would really like to go and see my sister with my own eyes. Whether she could hear me or not, I was aching to talk to her, tell her how much we were missing her. I hesitated.
‘I give you my word,’ Brooke said convincingly. ‘Can we call a truce now, do you think?’
‘If you’re sure…’
‘I’m positive. You get off now and I’ll try and find out what’s happening at the police station… well out of Zachary’s earshot, of course.’
Forty-Two
It was an hour before I finally got to the hospital. The roads were busy with work traffic and the hospital car park was rammed. I had to drive round for a good five minutes until I was lucky enough to find someone reversing out of a space. But I got there and, although it stuck in my throat to say so, it was thanks to Brooke I was able to come.
We might have very different ideas of how to relate to children but I had to confess she’d pulled a masterstroke with Zachary before I left.
I told him I was going to the hospital and he started playing up.
‘I want to see Aunt Miche! It’s not fair. I want to tell her what I’ve done at school today, she always asks me. Every day.’
‘Zachary, I’ve explained that she’s feeling really unwell right now and—’
‘I don’t care!’ He jumped up and tossed his game console aside. ‘I want to see her.’
‘And you will,’ Brooke interjected gently when I closed my eyes, just so weary with it all. ‘But today you need to stay here and let your mum give Auntie your love. Because I’m going to need some help with this.’
She handed him a big dinosaur activity pack and a bumper pack of coloured felt-tipped pens. The words emblazoned on the front of the pack read ‘Everything Dinosaur’, which was just about Zachary’s dream apart from anything Nintendo.
His face brightened and he barely murmured goodbye when I left the house.
Just when I’d thought I had Brooke Painter pegged, she went and surprised me yet again.
They buzzed me in through the ward doors and I walked to the nurses’ station, waiting to catch someone’s eye. It was a different nurse on the desk today and I couldn’t see the other one, but then I was visiting later in the day than yesterday.
‘You’re here to see…?’ She was tall and thin and more officious than the previous nurse, but when I explained I was Michelle Fox’s sister, she became a little friendlier. ‘You’re here again? I’m afraid there’s little change from this morning. But you’re welcome to sit with her, follow me.’
The bright lights and noise assailed my senses again. I glanced at the tangles of tubes and medical equipment clustered around each bedhead, reminding myself there was a patient just like Michelle under there, with a family as desperately worried as I was.
I didn’t pay quite as much attention to my surroundings because something about the nurse’s comment, and the way she said it, bothered me. You’re here again? Surely it wasn’t unusual for family members to visit people in ICU once a day.
‘I haven’t visited since yesterday,’ I said slowly, the tendons in my neck tightening. ‘This is the first time I’m seeing her today.’
‘Oh?’ She looked over her shoulder at me. ‘I thought you’d visited earlier.’
‘No… what makes you say that?’ A crawling sensation started at the base of my spine.
‘Someone mentioned it at the nurses’ station this morning, I think. Said in passing that Michelle Fox’s sister had just arrived.’
‘Sorry, can we just stop walking for a second?’
She turned around, puzzled. ‘What is it?’
‘It wasn’t me. If anyone came to visit Michelle this morning saying they were her sister, it was a lie. Can you check if she did have a visitor?’
She shook her head and set off walking again. ‘I probably misunderstood, that’s all. We’re rushing around so much it’s easy to get things like that wrong, hearing bits of conversations.’
I felt like something had a hold of my throat. There were no visitor logs or anything like that here, I’d not been asked to sign in yet. When I rang the ward for a progress report, they took my word for it that I was who I said I was. Maybe the nurse was mistaken this time, but the thought that people could just come and go here without being thoroughly checked out… it made my blood run cold.
What if the man who attacked Michelle came in here claiming to be her boyfriend or something? He could do anything if they left him with her like they did with me. The police were busy trying to pin the blame on Owen, wasting valuable time while the real perpetrator was still out there free to do as he wished. My head swam with it all and I had to force myself to focus on the here and now.
I wrinkled my nose against the smell of antiseptic as we reached Michelle’s bed.
‘Here we go.’ The nurse picked up the clipboard at the end of the bed and studied the paperwork on there for a moment. ‘The doctor’s already seen her and there are no comments on here which means things are going as planned with the ventilator.’
‘I’m worrying though,’ I said falteringly. ‘If someone’s been here saying they’re—’
‘Honestly, you shouldn’t worry. I’m sure I was mistaken. But tell you what, I’ll ask at the nurses’ station, OK?’
I nodded, grateful.
‘Give me a shout if you need anything,’ the nurse said before turning on her heel and walking away again. I bet she regretted mentioning the other visitor but now she had, I had questions.
I looked down at my sister… or what I could see of her through the rubber and metal and Perspex. If I came here every day for the next year I knew I’d never get used to seeing her in this state. Her skin was a mass of purple and blue bruising, her eyes even more swollen than yesterday, it seemed to me. It was like she’d been stripped of whatever it was that made her human.
The urge to fall to my knees and pray for her recovery was so strong I had to battle it. I pulled up a chair and sat down next to her instead, taking her cool hand in mine. I looked down and saw one of her nails had been torn off and the top of her hand was covered in deep scratches. I closed my eyes, bent my head and kissed her fingers.