I did trust her, but now I was more confused than ever. I hated when people used phrases like ‘let him in.’ It wasn’t clear, it wasn’t precise. How the hell was I supposed to let someone in? Did they need a key? Was it just a matter of talking more or did she expect me to forge some sort of bond with this guy?
Also, on a related note, what the hell could Luke Perona possibly teach me? You might learn a thing or two…about what? Being a cocky douche? Hooking up with random qirls? Swimming?
Well, yeah, actually. That last one held merit. But I didn’t want to swim, and if I needed a teacher it wouldn’t be Luke.
Did she think he could teach me about guys? If she was getting all weirdly hippie mom on me and trying to subtly reference my sexual awakening or something I would absolutely have to hitchhike to the airport and get out of this country because no way were we going there.
We’d done the birds and the bees talk and then, because I was curious, I did far more research on my own. I understood the mechanics, thank you very much. And while physical attraction wasn’t a determining factor in Brandon and I getting together, we certainly kissed. We even made out. We hadn’t gone all the way, but I’d never been in a rush and neither was he. We had the rest of our lives to figure out what all the fuss was about.
Still, I’d never felt that weird pull with Brandon, not even when we’d first started dating. I’d never felt like the oxygen was being sucked out of the room, or felt acutely aware of his proximity and his heat. I’d definitely never swooned over Brandon’s scent.
I leaned back in my chair but I didn’t reopen my book. I stared out at the ocean instead.
It didn’t mean anything, I ultimately decided. I wouldn’t try to deny the fact that there was a physical attraction between me and Luke. Certainly on my end. I bit my lip and struggled to draw in air as I thought of the looks I’d caught last night and this morning. The way his blue eyes grew dark with it when they focused on my lips.
Yes, he definitely felt it too.
But just because attraction was there didn’t mean we needed to act on it. That was what separated us from the animals, right? We knew about pheromones and hormones and the tricks they played, on our bodies and on our minds. That knowledge gave us the power to make decisions regardless of our physical wants.
This logic didn’t make all the confusion vanish. It didn’t help clear up why his kindness made me want to cry and it did little to explain why I was going along with his silly idea to study one another like we were on some sort of extra-curricular anthropology assignment.
But it did make me feel slightly more in control.
I might be suffering from rapid onset hormones, but I still had my intellect and I knew better than to let myself get carried away. It was just a physical reaction, with none of the deeper emotional connections that were necessary for a sustained and healthy relationship. Like respect and mutual admiration.
I hypothesized that once the initial thrill of intimate contact was over, there would be nothing between us at all.
That fact was even more reassuring. Only this temporary and fleeting surge of hormones were to blame for this confusion. They would vanish once we were no longer in close quarters.
They would also stop if we acted on these feelings.
I blinked at the book in my hands. Now where had that thought come from? It was ludicrous. It was ridiculous.
But then…it wasn’t the worst idea I’d ever heard.
I leaned back in my beach chair and attempted to weigh the merits of initiating a physical relationship with Luke Perona. Or rather, I attempted to consider the issue without unwanted input from the reptilian portion of my brain that was immune to reason.
Easier said than done. My lizard brain seemed to be like Gollum when it came to Luke.
We wants it, we needs it…
But I was a human, not an animal and certainly not a J.R.R. Tolkien character. If I were to do this, it would be for the right reasons. To assuage my needs, and his, and to rid myself of this bizarre preoccupation with a guy who was so clearly not right for me.
There was no denying it any longer. He’d gotten to me. If I fascinated him, then he certainly distracted me. He was constantly on my mind, which was annoying, and I was hyper aware of his presence…or lack thereof.
Even now when I was enjoying my favorite trip of the year, I was keenly aware of the fact that he was not with me.
It didn’t make sense, but I had the bizarre feeling like I…like I missed him. Clearly that was the hormones talking. My hormones liked his pheromones and that was all there was to it.
It would pass one way or the other, but kissing him and giving my hormones what they wanted was surely the faster and more entertaining route to getting there.
The thought held merit, and I was almost certain my lizard brain held no sway in that argument.
I bit my lip as I realized I was really considering this. I was truly contemplating making a move on Luke Perona.
But it was all in the name of science, really. And my sanity.
I thought back to our conversation about how Luke viewed girls and his “relationships” with them. He’d made an excellent point, and if I did this, I’d just be taking a page out of his playbook.
I felt a smile tugging at the corner of my lips as a flurry of excitement warred with nervous anticipation.
Was I really going to do this? Was Maya Rivero, Briarwood’s biggest nerd, really going to try and seduce the cool, confident and insanely popular Luke Perona?
I grinned down at the book in my hands.
Yes. Yes, she most certainly was.
Chapter Eight
Luke
The day just went from bad to worse. My mom’s plan to distract my brothers with pyramids failed in epic fashion. Now they weren’t just depressed and missing my dad, but they were also hungry, tired, sweaty, and cranky.
So was I.
Mom wasn’t doing so hot herself. All four of us dragged ourselves out of the rental car and the short walk to the hotel felt like miles.
My mom and I tried valiantly to keep things from falling even further into a vat of crap. I promised my brothers ice cold pops when we got back to the bungalow and Mom was reciting all the “fun” things we could do tonight, Christmas Eve. Her list faltered after “watch a Christmas movie.” It was all downhill after that. Sit outside and look at the stars wasn’t exactly a hit with the younger crowd, and sing Christmas carols around a bonfire got quizzical looks from all of us. Looks that clearly said, have you lost your mind?
Our situation got mildly less awful after we all piled into their bungalow and I got a movie going. I let Kevin pick this time.
Back to the Future…again. My brothers had never seen it before this trip and now they were obsessed.
This was all fine and good until Biff came onto the screen. Now, my nerdy new friend hadn’t outright called me Biff. No one had called me that but me, I supposed. But I still hated the sight of him. I’d managed to avoid thinking about certain aspects of my conversations with Maya while we were sightseeing. Granted, I hadn’t stopped thinking about her. If anything the mind-numbing tour guide’s barely audible commentary at the site made the perfect white noise for my runaway daydreams.
So no, I hadn’t stopped thinking about her once as this interminable day went on. That actually made it feel even more insufferable because I knew she was here, at the hotel, doing something without me.
It didn’t matter what she was doing without me, I just wanted to be doing it too.
Why? I didn’t know. I mean, I did know. I liked her. There was no denying it. She was a surprise hottie—I suddenly had a whole new appreciation for the term diamond in the rough. Take the turtleneck and harsh bun away, and the girl was a freakin’ ten.
But more than that, I liked being around her. I liked talking to her and trying to get past that hard shell of hers. Those moments when I teased a smile out of her were addictively satisfying. Better than a runner’s high, be
tter than beer, better than making out with one of the girls I used to hook up with at school.
So yeah, my trek through living hell with my brothers helped me see the full extent of this new fascination.
I liked her. I liked Maya a lot.
And Maya?
Well, apparently she wasn’t so keen on me.
And that was why I didn’t have the patience to sit there and watch Biff be a bastard. I had a horrible feeling that was how she saw me—or how she used to see me, at the very least.
A knock on the door had me sitting upright so quickly my brothers turned to stare. I ignored the looks as my mom went to answer the door.
Was it weird that my heart was pounding? Probably. This had never happened to me before. I’d been with my share of girls, but I could safely say I’d never lost my cool because one knocked on my door.
My mom let Maya in. I never in my life thought I’d compare Maya the super-serious nerd to a ray of sunshine but standing there in a surprisingly casual T-shirt and jeans, with her hair loose around her shoulders and, believe it or not, a small smile on her lips for my brothers—that’s exactly what she was.
She was sunshine and fresh air and so refreshingly uncomplicated. I mean, the girl had a thick shell, but talking to her was black and white. It was all logic and reason and facts and…desire.
So maybe I should rephrase that. Maya was refreshingly uncomplicated—aside from the complicated feelings she brought on. But now I was feeling much clearer on those as well thanks to some enforced downtime with nothing better to do but think about this girl.
“Hey guys,” she said, ignoring me as she sank onto the couch between my brothers. After last night, I think it was safe to say that Kevin and Adam were just as smitten as I was.
She’d gotten into our blood, apparently, because my brothers and I were all staring at her—fawning might be a more appropriate word. She was too busy watching the TV to notice the gawking. “Ooh, my favorite.”
I wanted them gone. My brothers, my mom, her mom, who’d arrived right after her looking just as refreshed with a bigger version of Maya’s smile.
It might be Christmas Eve but I wanted my family temporarily gone so I could have a moment alone with Maya. Now that I was clear on the fact that I liked her—really liked her—I wanted to make her feel the same.
And I could, I just needed time. Alone time. Which…was definitely not in the cards anytime soon.
Maya’s mom took one look at our sorry clan and went into action, ordering my brothers into the bathroom to freshen up for dinner and me to head back to my room to change. I wouldn’t normally have loved having a stranger come into our lives and order us around, but I saw my mom’s relief at not having to be in charge anymore and realized that we all needed someone to take over.
My mom was beat, I was distracted, and my brothers were miserable. Somebody needed to take the reins and someone outside this mess of a family seemed like the obvious choice. I had a feeling my mom would have been happy if Lila offered to adopt the whole family at this point.
I looked to Maya, who was making a calm, rational argument for why Kevin should indeed put on a clean shirt and how he’d be thankful later when he wasn’t wearing shorts and a sleeveless shirt on a windy beach.
Then she casually mentioned that he wouldn’t be able to help her roast marshmallow for s’mores if he wasn’t wearing appropriate bonfire attire.
Maya won that debate hands down.
I headed to my room and took a quick shower before throwing on clean clothes and hurrying back. Yes, it was Christmas Eve, and I wished I could say that I wanted to get back over there so I could be there for my family who needed me. The reality, though, was I wanted to see Maya.
I hated the way we’d left things this morning. When she’d slipped away from me, it had felt…unfinished. Unresolved. I hated that feeling.
I also despised the fact that I’d upset her. And I clearly had. That cold, emotionless wall of hers had visibly shaken and almost tumbled when I’d pushed her on the fact that she didn’t know how to swim.
Maybe it was just that she was embarrassed. I mean, the girl was more than a little confident in her superiority. When it came to book smarts, at least. But judging by the way she shamelessly huffed and puffed during that pathetic jog, I highly doubted she took great pride in her physical prowess.
So no, I didn’t think she’d been rattled by the fact that she was lacking in swimming skills. It was something else. Something deeper. And by now I couldn’t even begin to deny that I’d become addicted to these glimpses of the real Maya. The one she hid from the rest of the world—particularly me, and the majority of Briarwood.
Did her boyfriend see these parts of her? He must have. I had to pause before entering my mom’s suite or risk everyone seeing the murderous rage I couldn’t even begin to hide.
I had no idea who this boyfriend was, but I hated him solely based on the fact that he’d been privy to this Maya I was just starting to discover. The one beneath the uptight exterior.
She’s got the sexy librarian thing going on. Kyle’s words came back to me. That kid hadn’t known what he was talking about. She wasn’t a sexy librarian. She was just sexy. And smart. And interesting. And challenging.
And she had a boyfriend.
I took a deep breath and listened to the sound of Christmas carols coming from the radio on the other side. No, she had an ex-boyfriend, that’s what he was no matter what terms she wanted to put around it.
If you were on a break, you were broken up. Even I knew that.
I cocked my head to one side and then the other, trying to loosen some of this crazy tension.
The ex wasn’t here. I was. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, a sort of pre-race ritual that helped calm me when my temper threatened to get out of hand. But this time it wasn’t my temper. It was the need to win. The urge to conquer. Whether she’d meant to or not, Maya had thrown down the gauntlet when she’d mentioned this ex-boyfriend, and I knew what I had to do.
I had to win. I had to make her mine. At least for the time being. Once I had a taste of her, then this obsession would leave my system. It was always that way with me and a challenge. Once I conquered it, I moved on—a new swimming competitor, a new race, a new girl. It was all the same.
So yeah, I’d crack Maya’s shell, I’d get her to like me back, and then when this thing ran its course, we could both go our own way—no harm, no foul.
Guilt nagged at me, holding me back when I reached out for the door.
For all her knowledge and her ex-boyfriend and her smokin’ hot body, Maya struck me as an innocent. I might’ve been a cocky alpha male, but like I’d said—I wasn’t Biff. I wasn’t some cold, heartless douchebag.
I heard Maya call out to one of my brothers from inside. She was reminding him that he’d need a jacket in that flat, monotone voice of hers.
I wasn’t a douchebag, but then again, Maya wasn’t some emotional girl, either. She thrived on logic and reason. Hadn’t she been the one to commend me for my non-romantic methods of appeasing my needs?
Hell, she’d been approving of it, and why wouldn’t she be? Non-emotions were her jam. As long as I was up front with her, as long as I explained it in terms she could understand, I had every reason to believe she’d be on board with this plan. After all, emotions aside, she had needs too. She might not act like it, but she was human, and I was almost positive that she wanted my body as much as I wanted hers. She might not be emotive, but she couldn’t hide the desire in her eyes when she’d been ogling my bare chest.
This could be a win-win. A way to salvage the Christmas from hell, and a way for me to get over this weird new obsession.
She was a challenge, and it was one I could win.
I finally inserted the keycard and let myself in. As soon as I opened the door, her gaze met mine. She was unreadable, but God she was so hot.
For the first time all day, I found myself looking forward to Christmas and all this
holiday crap. I gave her a smile as I walked over to help her carry a box full of provisions down to the beach.
“Come on,” I said, nodding toward the door. “Let’s get this party started.”
She fell into step beside me as our moms wrangled my brothers.
“What is all this stuff?” I asked.
“It’s Christmas.”
I grinned despite her serious tone. Or maybe because of it. Her humor was definitely an acquired taste, but I was starting to look forward to her rare displays of humanity in all their forms. Just like her smiles, her attempts at jokes were so rare and not-obvious that it made me feel like a rock star when I was the lucky recipient of either.
Did her ex-boyfriend feel that way?
He’d better, the nerdy bastard. Or, at least, I assumed he was a fellow nerd.
“So, tell me about your ex.” I kind of surprised myself with that one. Step one to seducing a girl did not typically involve asking about the ex. But then, Maya wasn’t typical, and I was curious as all hell. Maybe, just maybe, I’d learn something about the mysteries of Maya if I knew more about her relationship.
She glanced over at me. “What do you want to know?”
I shrugged. How did he win over that untouchable heart of yours? “How did you meet?”
“At a math competition.” She was serious and I caught myself before I could laugh.
“So it was a romantic first meeting then,” I said instead.
I caught a flicker of a smile and stopped myself from shouting Score!
“Oh yes, very romantic.” She glanced over again. “I helped him solve his equation.”
I pulled back as if in shock. “Maya Rivero, was that sarcasm?”
She ignored me as she shifted the smaller box in her hands and I took it from her, piling it atop the one I was already carrying. “So, what happened?” I asked. “Your eyes met over a calculator and it was love at first sight?”
She furrowed her brows as she looked at me. There was a full moon overhead as we reached the beach and it made the ocean glow in its light. I could see her just as clearly here as I could back in the bungalow and I watched with amusement and fascination as she clearly studied my face. I guessed she was trying to gauge how serious I was, and how much I was judging her.
The Holiday Kiss (Briarwood High Book 4) Page 9