“Let’s order our food,” I chuckled. “You did drag my away from my beloved pickle jar, after all,” I said, sticking my tongue out at him. He smiled., I had never felt so happy in my life.
The rest of our lives for perfect moments? That sounded great to me.
Chapter 17
Jensen
Pulling into a parking space at Ashley’s apartment complex, I sent her a quick message to let her know I’d arrived. Six weeks had passed since our night at the Cerf Blanc, and I had never been happier in my life. We were going to have our second ultrasound. The first had been exciting beyond belief, but it had revealed very little regarding the health of our baby. We could scarcely see its little heartbeat. It seemed to just be a mess of shapes in Ashley’s womb, as much as that thought made me chuckle.
When she stepped out of the complex, it was all I could do to keep from going starry-eyed. The mother of my future child was getting chunkier by the day, and though I knew she felt as if she were losing her sex appeal, I only grew more attracted to her. There was something about her carrying the life that would shape the rest of our lives in turn, something that sent me into a frenzy of passion.
Getting out of the car, I circled around to open the passenger door for her. She offered me an appreciative smile, and I was so overcome with love that I was helpless to do anything but kiss her. She moaned against my lips, a sound that could drive the strongest of men to the brink of madness. As much as I wanted to carry her back up to her apartment and make love to her, I knew the ultrasound was a more pressing issue for the time being.
I fastened her in once she got inside the car, though I knew it was a tossup as to whether she’d enjoy the spoiling or insist I was babying her. That day, she seemed all too receptive to my attention and affection, and I leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek before closing the car door and walking back around to the driver’s side. Getting inside, I gripped her hand where it rested on the center console, something that had become a habit for the two of us. She squeezed my hand, her own smaller hand resting on the broad expanse of her stomach.
“I’m getting so fat. I think I’m eating too much,” she whined, rubbing circles on her baby bump. As cute as I thought she was, I knew she had gained a good bit more than was normal for a pregnancy. I could only hope she wasn’t suffering from some gestational condition, one of many things that made the day’s ultrasound so important to me. I was eager to get a better look at our baby, but I wanted to be sure my princess was healthy as well.
“You’re perfect, my love,” I assured her, though I couldn’t dismiss her concerns altogether. I didn’t want to worry her, however, so I kept my concerns to myself.
We arrived at the ob-gyn’s office a few minutes later, and Ashley seemed somewhat nervous as I went to help her out of the car. She clung tightly to me as we walked across the parking lot, hesitating for a long moment before stepping through the door.
“Do you think everything will be okay?” she asked timidly.
While I wasn’t positive, I certainly liked to think everything would be just fine. I nodded, tightening my grip on her hand as we stepped into the office, where a plethora of couples lingered in the waiting area. I checked us in as Ashley settled in one of the armless chairs, apparently made to accommodate sizeable pregnant women.
The nurse made an attempt at idle chitchat with me, but as soon as I had checked us in, I dutifully returned to Ashley’s side. She shifted uncomfortably, looking from one couple to another. She was one of the larger women in the waiting area, though it was all in her stomach. I could tell she was flustered by the fixation that the other women seemed to have on us, so I spoke in hushed tones to distract her.
“I bet all of their husbands are jealous that I landed the best catch,” I murmured teasingly, giving her a little nudge in the side. She huffed, considering me from the corner of her eye with a small smile.
“I hardly think it’s the men who are jealous,” she replied a bit sourly. I rolled my eyes, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek.
“I’d be jealous, if I were them. Just look at you, my princess. You’re absolutely radiant,” I whispered, pleased with the embarrassed little smile I was rewarded with.
I settled in my seat while all of the other couples were called back in turn. My poor Ashley only seemed to grow more anxious as we waited, and I could only hope they would call us back soon enough. I could have likely bribed the ultrasound technician into seeing us first. I had even suggested it as an option to Ashley. She had quickly shot that idea down, however.
“They’re probably just as nervous as we are,” she muttered, smiling at another woman as she stepped through the door that led to the back examination rooms. The woman returned the smile absently, but it was clear her eyes were on me. Ashley and the woman’s husband simultaneously uttered bitter sighs, but I wrapped an arm around my lover to comfort her.
“We should be next at the very least,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to her earlobe.
She shivered, shooting me a glance that was likely intended as a warning, but I only smiled cockily, reaching down to pinch her rear. She jolted upright, unable to swallow a soft giggle as she settled back down against my side.
“You’re so naughty,” she said with a grin.
“Guilty as charged,” I agreed, glancing up as our names were called.
Any ounce of confidence she had been able to muster seemed to evaporate as Ashley rose to her shaky feet, clutching my arm as we were led back to one of the ultrasound-equipped rooms. The technician was kind, offering us a reassuring smile as she provided Ashley with a gown to change into.
We were allowed a bit of privacy as my princess changed into the gown, pouting as her stomach poked out from the opening in the front. I smiled, reaching out to rub her stomach. She batted at my hands, flopping melodramatically onto the examination table.
“I’m nervous,” she said quietly, and I felt my heart ache at the fear in her voice. She wiggled in her seat, obviously agitated as she waited for the technician to return.
“Don’t work yourself into a tizzy, that will only make you feel worse,” I said firmly, and Ashley looked as if she might argue. Fortunately, our ultrasound technician chose that moment to step back into the room. If she sensed any tension, she gave no indication either way. She simply began to rub the gel on Ashley’s stomach, making sure to apply an ample amount.
“Are you two excited? First time parents, right?” she asked idly, absently trying to make conversation as she prepared the machine. Ashley nodded, seeming not to trust her voice.
“We’re absolutely thrilled. We just want to make sure everything is progressing as it should,” I replied, bringing my lover’s hand to my lips. I kissed her knuckles gently, releasing her when it seemed she wanted nothing more than to anxiously clench her fists.
“Just relax, honey. Everyone panics a bit at this point during their pregnancy, especially if it’s your first time,” the technician assured Ashley as she grabbed the wand and began to probe her stomach, watching the screen with a pensive expression.
“I wasn’t so nervous with the first ultrasound, but I just have a bad feeling this time,” Ashley said shyly. She grunted as the probe seemed to touch a particularly sensitive area, and I glanced toward the ultrasound screen.
“Well, here’s number one,” the technician announced, shifting the wand so we could get a better look at our child. Her words didn’t truly strike me initially. “Now for the others,” she continued, shifting the wand to the side a bit.
Sure enough, there was another tiny body forming inside Ashley. My eyes widened, and I turned to her with a wary expression. Her lip was drawn between her teeth, clamped down so tightly that it appeared that she might draw blood.
“Is it healthy?” Ashley implored, not seeming to have caught onto the ultrasound technician’s references to multiple fetuses.
“Oh, yeah. Healthy as a horse. All four of them look like they’re going to be perfectly fine. It’s the fir
st time we’ve seen quadruplets in this office, so I have to say I’m quite honored to be the one doing this,” the technician continued conversationally.
As the woman finished up the ultrasound, she offered Ashley something to wipe the gel off with. My poor princess looked entirely tuckered out, though the panic I may have expected was completely absent. I could only wonder if she had actually listened to anything the technician had said.
When the technician left the room, I rose from my seat and looked at the image she had left up on the screen. Suddenly, the inexplicable mass of shapes in Ashley’s womb seemed to make all too much sense.
Now it was just a matter of breaking the news to the mother-to-be.
Chapter 18
Jensen
Guiding Ashley out of the room, I was startled to be stopped by the technician who had performed our ultrasound. She smiled broadly, clapping a hand down on my lover’s shoulder. Ashley jolted a bit, only just having come to her senses. She tilted her head at the woman, blearily blinking her weariness away.
“As you’re expecting quadruplets, you’ll want to check in more frequently. I grabbed some snapshots from your ultrasound in case you have some family members you want to show off to,” the woman said politely, her lips curled in a cheerful smile. Ashley hesitated for a moment before her eyes seemed to nearly bulge from her skull. She reached out, yanking the envelope out of the technician’s hands.
“Qua-quadruplets?” she repeated, as if hearing the news for the first time.
“Yes, honey. I know it can seem a bit overwhelming, but we’ll make sure you’re given the best care possible,” the technician replied warmly. “Since pregnancies like this are so rare, I have to ask if you used any sort of fertility treatment, or if you just conceived them naturally?”
At the mention of fertility treatments, my stomach seemed to tie itself into unpleasant little knots. Ashley didn’t seem particularly keen on responding either, taking me by the hand and all but dragging me out of the office.
The walk to my car was a silent one, but it was obvious that my lover had a lot weighing on her mind. I helped her into the passenger seat, bracing myself for the conversation we obviously needed to have. Her wide eyes were fixed upon me as I settled in the driver’s seat, and I turned the ignition just so we could have the air conditioner running.
“How on earth… We were having such a hard time conceiving! Now, I’m carrying four children with no idea of how to raise them properly,” she gasped out in a panic.
I tried to keep my composure, but the reality of the situation was quickly sinking its claws into me. The idea of raising one child had been daunting enough, and we obviously had to take our jobs into consideration. If there were now four children to raise, how would I continue running business as usual?
“This doesn’t make sense,” I lied, knowing full well what could have led to the conception of such a large number of children. The fertility drug I’d taken danced in the dark recesses of my mind, and it was all I could do not to lose my cool altogether. It would do little good while Ashley was already in full-blown panic mode.
“What are we going to do, Jensen? I can’t… There are going to have to be big changes in our lives if we’re going to be raising four babies,” she whispered.
“Well, one of us is going to have to greatly reduce their work hours, or quit their job altogether. You can see how that wouldn’t be possible for the CEO of a major pharmaceutical company, right?” I said firmly, refusing to lose my cool. Ashley glanced at me with bitterness in her gaze, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Well it’s not like I’m too happy about the idea of giving up my job, either! We can’t just go all or nothing, there will have to be compromises,” she bit out.
I rolled my eyes, not wanting to make her feel stupid in spite of how ridiculous her suggestion was. There was no room for compromise, couldn’t she see that? Without me, she wouldn’t have a job.
“You have to realize that a secretary position is much lower on the business totem pole. It wouldn’t make sense for me to give up my hours if you have time to take care of the children,” I argued, tensing my hands at my sides.
“I’m not going to abandon everything my father worked for over this. It doesn’t even make sense. We shouldn’t have conceived four infants.” I continued. Fertility treatment aside, the sheer number of babies she was carrying was astounding. It was difficult to fathom that my taking one dose of the supplement would have such a stark effect. We went from being unable to conceive at all…to this!
“I’m not saying you quit your job altogether, just like you shouldn’t suggest that I give up my career. We’re both responsible for the four of them; it wasn’t a one-person job to make four babies,” she hissed, seeming to grow more and more incensed. “For example, you could cut out your weekly business trips. You can’t say that they’re all for the sake of business—you know as well as I do that you’re prone to pursuing whims,” she added, crossing her arms.
Gripping the steering wheel tightly in my hands, I shifted into gear and began to back out of the parking lot. How dare she accuse me of wasting time with pointless whims? I hadn’t gotten as far as I had through whims! I became the CEO of GlobaPharm based on hard work and my merits.
“I suppose you wouldn’t really understand how difficult a job is when you have to do more than just sit at your desk and look pretty,” I said snidely, regretting the words as soon as they escaped my mouth.
Ashley looked at me through wide and wounded eyes, drawing her hands toward her chest as if to protect her heart. I parted my lips to apologize, but she began speaking before I could get the words out.
“I do so much for you, Jensen! You’re not exactly the easiest person to work for, you know! You couldn’t just pick anyone up off the street to deal with your moodiness. I went out of my way to try and be your friend when you were cruel to me, and I went out of my way to offer myself as a surrogate when you couldn’t find any other options,” she said viciously. Narrowing my eyes, I barked out a hollow laugh as I began to speed down the back roads.
“I wasn’t the one who was out of options. I wasn’t the one hopelessly in love with their boss. I did you a favor with all of this, Ashley. You need to remember your place—” I paused as she began to weep, the wind getting knocked from my sails in one fell swoop.
“You said you loved me,” she whispered, sounding absolutely betrayed. I hesitated, tensing my hands on the steering wheel before trying to reach out and take her by the hand.
“I never said I don’t. You have to understand how difficult this will be for me. I just can’t even begin to fathom how this happened,” I sighed, wincing at how tightly she was gripping my hand. There was an expression of guilt on her face, and I could only wonder what was making her feel so guilty. Then again, I was sure the same expression was reflected on my own face.
“Things will be difficult for both of us. Especially if you can’t even admit that I’m important to you, that I serve some purpose in your grand life. You made me feel special, but now I just feel like dirt,” she paused, tears continuing to trickle down her cheeks. I brushed my thumb to the back of her hand, anxiously gnawing my bottom lip between my teeth.
“You’re not dirt. I just…” I paused, realizing that I was taking my guilt out on her. My heart clenched painfully in my chest, and I pulled over so I could look her in the eye. She refused to meet my gaze at first, but I gently reached out to grip her by the chin.
“Let’s talk about this like adults and get to the bottom of it. Something had to cause the sudden spike in your fertility, and I have an idea of what might have done so…” I began, watching as her eyes darted from me, to her stomach, to the window.
My poor Ashley looked as if she had been accused of some unforgivable sin, and all I wanted to do was put this behind us and try to move forward. If I could just get her to accept how important my job is to me, if I could just explain where we’d made our missteps…I was confident we cou
ld get past this. I could only figure that I’d taken too much of the supplement, or that our case had been some strange fluke. It seemed unthinkable that a single dose would lead to quadruplets, but I couldn’t think of anything else that could have happened.
“I have an idea as well,” she admitted quietly, her voice sounding strangely hollow. She tensed her hands in her lap, refusing to meet my gaze. She seemed more upset than I’d ever seen her before, and I could only wonder if she had somehow found out about my secretive use of the drug.
Something about that theory didn’t sit right with me, however. If she knew about my use of the supplement, surely she wouldn’t have that expression of guilt. There was no way she would blame herself for my mistake. Ashley was kind, but not stupid.
It was obvious that she had done something as well, something to contribute to this giant disaster we found ourselves caught up in. Releasing her hand, I drew my hands back toward myself, refusing to let her see that she had me unnerved. I wasn’t about to allow us to simply stew in our respective guilt any longer.
“All right. Talk,” I said firmly.
My lover turned to me with a baleful expression, and I simultaneously wanted to draw her near and bolt as far away as possible.
I only hoped we could forgive each other at the end of this.
Chapter 19
Jensen
Watching her with a tense expression, I waited for Ashley to make her confession. I could only wonder what she could have possibly done to trouble her so deeply, but she seemed reluctant to speak. I kept my arms crossed defensively, wound up tight enough that I felt as if I would snap at any given moment.
Protect Me - A Steamy Bodyguard Romance (You Can't Resist a Bad Boy Book 5) Page 35